Ch. 12 I am Kisara

I AM KISARA and I belong to him.

He has saved when no one else did. He has granted me happiness when no one else wanted to. And my life, my being belongs to him … body … and spirit. I belong to him.

I am a child of the desert; born under the steaming sun; raised by the moon and the stars. The day has been my father and I his daughter. The night has been my mother and I her child. The world my home.

But they have deserted me. I loved my home; I loved my people; but they have deserted me. They have betrayed me.

I stood alone. I stood powerless. I stood alone.

They caught me and they took me with them. I tried to resist, but my spirit was too weak to fight back. They took me with them.

I watched them indulged into sin. I watched them lose themselves into cravings, into lust, into cheap wine and cheap women. I watched hopeless … powerless …. defenceless …. I watched, always waiting for them to turn me into their next pleasure. I waited.

The night was cold and dark. She always shone upon me, but now I stood alone. They laughed. They mocked me as I lay like an animal in chains. I was trapped.

I thought it was the end. I was not afraid though I should have been. I did not cry though I should have. I waited … the end.

And then he came. He was so young and yet so courageous. He sneaked like a small mouse. He came unnoticed. They did not see him. He came unnoticed. And when he spoke, his voice so gentle, so steady. There was no fear. He came unnoticed.

He told me not to make a sound and when he looked me in the eyes I could not speak. He was so gentle, he was so sweet, I could not speak.

He opened the cage and help me get out. A boy. Such a young and sweet boy. His hair was rumpled, he looked so sweet. I took his hand. It was rough but still felt soft. That's how it was. That's how the sweet boy was.

They spotted us. The men. They spotted us. We had to run. They were behind us.

We jumped on his horse and we fled. So far we fled. We couldn't see them any more. His embrace was warm. I felt safe. He held me safe. I was not alone… not anymore.

Then I thought we'll be together forever. Then I thought nothing could set us apart.

"Ride to the next village. The people are nice there. They'll help you."

He wanted to leave me. He too wanted too leave me and I could not stop him. I had to be brave. At least, I had to be brave. For him. I did not cried. For him. I did not cried.

"Seth" I called for his name. His name was Seth. Such a sweet name for such a sweet boy. I would never forget him.

As we departed she shone down on me once again. My mother. She smiled at me. And then I knew. I would see him again. I knew. So I waited.

Years have passed. I was a daughter of the sand. And sand I have been for years.

People have chased me away. I was different so they chased me away, but I did not care. With each second, with each minute, with each day I was coming closer to seeing him. I did not care, but only for him.

From town to town I walked, always searching. And then I found him. After all those years I have found him.

He saved me again. I belong to him.

I thought he had forgotten me but I did not care. I found him. He took me in. He healed my wounds; he caressed my face; he combed my hair. I was his. I would not let him go.

At the shelter of the night he had loved me. We have loved each other. I was his.

I am the daughter of the day; he is my father. I am the child of the night; she is my mother. I am the lover of the Priest; he is my everything.

I love him. Even if he throws me away I'll love him. I will always love him; I will always love his sweet face; his rumpled hair; his rough and in the same time soft hands; his warm embrace; his passionate kisses. I love him and always will.

He followed us. At each corner I saw his shadow. He grew darker with each moment. He would hurt him but I would never allow it. I would never allow it.

He took me in the depths of the shadows. And I was scared, not because I might die; I was scared because he might die and then I might never see him again. Please gods don't let him come save me. Keep him safe. Take me, but keep him safe.

But they didn't hear me. He came and looked for me. He came and saved me. And he had seen him. He had seen his other self. The one he trusted had betrayed him. The one who taught him the right way, turned to be a seed of evil. And he was his pupil.

I felt his disappointment. I felt his tears being born inside of him and his struggles to keep them locked. And still he saved me. He jumped after me. He risked his life to save me, despite his pain. I could sense him. I could feel his grip getting loose. And I had to do something. I had to save him. It was my turn.

I didn't want him to see it. But I couldn't save him otherwise. Alone I was weak. Together we were powerful. I was she and she was I. My dragon. My sister. My light.

Was he afraid? Did he despise me? No. I saw it in his eyes. The same sweetness. He still loved me.

Nights have passed. Nights full of love, full of passion and tender kisses. I love you.

He turned back. He is his father. He came after him.

So much pain and so much love and so much anger. He wanted to protect him. It wasn't his fault. Please forgive him. It wasn't his fault.

It hurt. The blast hurt. But I did not cried.

So much blood. Please look away. There's so much blood.

I'm sorry. I had to leave you. I'm sorry.

Please don't cry. I left you something. She is a part of me. She is my dragon, my sister, my light. She is a part of me.

I belong to you and she belongs to me. We belong to you. We love you.

I will come back.

I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I'm sorry.

I belong to you. I love you.

I am Kisara. I belong to you.