Chapter Twelve
Jinxs POV
"What are you doing here Chasity?" I spoke my thoughts. She expresionlessly faced me again, ready to reply.
"Come on, let's go."
"What! I'm not going anywhere until you tell what you're doing here! Are you following me?" I asked her, by now more people were starting to come in and take their seats and she started to tense up a bit.
"No of course not, just come on. It's better if we discuss this elsewhere."
"What about class!"
"Oh come on Jinx, don't tell me you lost your lies, you and I both know that you were the best at them when we were younger." She reached out her hand and for a moment I thought if I should join her, thinking about the good times we had and how I could always trust her, of course until that event. But after those memories came the thoughts of how she left me and betrayed me, and then blamed me for doing everything wrong when it was her! I left her hanging and put my hands behind my back. Her expression turned into a scowl.
"Jinx, we don't have time for this," she complained before forcefully dragging me out of the classroom, she just completely ignored the fact that the students were students were staring with their eyes opened wide- probably after hearing our half conversation. The halls were now nearly empty and she led me to the bathroom after checking if there was anyone in there.
"Ow," I merely said, rubbing my hands after she finally let go of them.
"I missed you." She sighed, changing the conversation topic.
She missed me! That was the biggest lie I have ever heard, after years of no contact with me she has the audacity to come back and say that she misses me. I'm not having any of it!
"And what? You missed my bad luck too, my bad side?" I coldly replied, seeing her expression shift into a look of hurt.
"You know I didn't meant that."
"Really? Cause I kinda think you did. And we both know that that's not the real reason you're here. If you missed me then you would have actually bothered replying to my texts and you would have actually answered my calls and emails."
"You don't understand, I tried I just-" that was all she said before I cut her off,
"You just what? Had no service? No reception? No guilt for leaving me alone and then being mad at me?!" I was kind of yelling by is point because I just needed to get this frustration out of me.
"Listen-"
"No you listen. I spent months reminiscing about everything I did wrong. I let my overthinking and my love for you kill my happiness, all I felt was guilt and even though I knew it wasn't my fault I still blamed myself because you told me to. You said that it was all my fault and that I was a Jinx, and now that I've finally broken away from my guilt you decide to show up back into my life like nothing happened at all? Where were you, Chasity!? Where were you when I tried reaching out to you? Where were you when I was getting judged and bullied? Where were you when I needed you the most? That's right you weren't here for me! The sad truth was that you never were! I had to survive through everything on my own and I survived and came out stronger than before." After I finished my rant she stepped closer to me, and looked me in the eyes once again. I could see the sorrow and sympathy running through them but I chose to ignore it. I had to.
"I have no idea what to say except that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you so bad and for leaving you alone, I knew I should have been there for you and I wasn't because I was too busy trying to be everything that I wanted to be, I was changing for other people trying to make them people, and that was when I realised that I wasn't happy myself. I'm no longer that girl that I used to be, I don't only care for my self now. I learnt my lesson and I just wish that you can forgive me just like I forgave myself."
Is she actually mad! Hell yes she hurt me and caused a giant hole in my heart that I was never good enough for anyone. But I am good enough, I am wrong it and I'm not slipping back into the dark hole that I was captivated by.
"I don't want to blame you--"
"Then don't." She cut me off,
"But I have to because it is your fault, now if you excuse me I have a class to get to." I left her in silence, stood in the bathroom. It's true I felt a tinge of guilt because it wasn't all her, but the work of her mother too.
I walked into class late, everyone's eyes staring at me like I had just killed someone and finally, after what felt like forever, Ms Baxter, had turned her attention towards me,
"Young lady, and what excuse do you have this time?"
"This time?" I asked in confusion, even though I knew I was previously late last time too.
"Well if you don't recall last lesson when you burst through those doors 20 minutes late saying that you wouldn't be late again, I let you of with a warning. This time, I'm afraid I'm going to have to be stricter and follow the correct school rules which state that you have a detention after school.
I sighed before politely nodding and heading back to my seat, ignoring the laughter that was surrounding me. I just wanted this day to end, so I can just go back to being at home curled up with a good book, zoning out so I can forget about life's burdens and all my stress.
