Mana here. I wrote this a long time ago when I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this or not. But then I decided to. This isn't so much as a slash fic as much as it is a simple Stan bashing fic. It's fun to bash Stan! Sorry, evil moment.
Studying
"Stanley I have had it!"
Stan looked up from his video game. His mother was glaring at him with one of his quizzes in her hand.
"If you don't get above a 50% on your next test, I'm taking your X-box away, you hear?"
"Yeah."
The next day they guys gathered around Kyle's desk while Stan sat at his, reading a Terrance and Philip comic book.
"Goddammit Kahl," said Cartman, "how the hell do you keep getting 100's on your tests?"
"How do you think, asswipe?"
"Don't try to get out of this Jew! Now what the hell's your secret?"
Kyle's eyes narrowed.
"You really wanna know?"
Stan looked up from his comic. This could maybe save him.
"Ok, you get up at 2am, jog for an hour to Stark's Pond, swim in the pond with your clothes on and then sit under the tree without sleeping. Next day, guaranteed perfect score."
Cartman scoffed.
"Lying sack of shit."
That does sound like a bunch of crap, Stan thought.
Then he looked at the graded quiz Mr. Garrison had handed back.
Fifty percent with a frowny face.
Maybe he really should review the material before taking a test. But then again, he had seen Cartman do it but he got a 30%.
Kyle's strategy seemed totally retarded.
But he always did get A's. And he was the smartest kid in the fourth grade.
…
His X-Box was at stake. He had to do it.
Stan's alarm clock went off at 2am, as planned. He rolled over to try to get back to sleep, but forced himself awake.
I have to get an A on this.
He left his house and began jogging. It felt good racing against the cold, snowy air.
Thirty minutes had passed and he got tired. But he had to keep going.
For the safety of his video game privileges.
One hour had finally passed and he arrived at Stark's Pond.
The water was slightly frozen but easy enough to break. He walked slowly inside, swearing to himself about how his clothes would freeze over on him.
Pain. Each floating shard of the ice was like a needle prick when it so much as brushed a part of his clothed body.
He began to swim. Slowly.
It would all be worth it.
Two hours have passed and he got out. He shivered violently but went on to the next step.
Just chill under the tree for the rest of the night. This should be easy, seeing that it required no physical activity.
But he found it a lot harder that it had initially sounded. After using up all this energy with the earlier tasks, he was dead tired.
But he had to stay awake.
The sun finally came out. Stan groaned. So tired. But he would ace that math test. That's all that mattered.
He got to his seat without saying a word to anyone.
"Ok class, you may begin," Mr. Garrison handed out the tests.
Perfect.
He wrote the answers in, hand shaking.
First one done.
Brilliant.
Soon everyone had finished, and Mr. Garrison had allowed a five minute break so he can grade the tests.
Kyle walked over to Stan.
"Hey dude," he took a seat on his desk, "you look terrible."
Stan yawned. "mmmmstudying."
"Wow, so how do you think you did?"
"Probably aced it. That was one rough night."
Mr. Garrison handed back the tests. Stan got his back.
Twenty-five percent with a "redo" written in red ink.
"Aw, what the fuck???"
Kyle took the test from him.
"I thought you said you studied."
"I did. I did exactly what you said."
"What?"
"Yesterday when you told Cartman how you study for tests."
"WHAT? That?"
He burst out laughing.
"I was being sarcastic! You'd think I'd really tell fucking Cartman how I study?"
"Sh-shut up," Stan blushed.
"You-oh my God! I can't believe you fell for that!"
More laughter.
Mr. Garrison gave Kyle back his quiz.
One hundred percent, as always.
"I fucking hate you so much Kyle."
Stan keeled over on his desk, passed out.
Kyle rubbed his back.
"You're just a dumbass. That's all."
XX
Guys, don't actually study in this manner. You will DIE. But you already know that.
I promise there will by more Stan x Kyle action in the future! And for Camaleao, I'm working on that Style + Kenny one and it will be AWESOME. Thanks for your reviews too! They really get me going 3
