Hey! Sorry this took so long! The Sue one was hard to solve and school is sort of kicking the butt of any and all of my free time. Well, enjoy and know that I am not Stephenie Meyer.


Jared

One day I decided to visit my good friend, Jeremiah. He was not a bullfrog, far from it. He was Jared's father. Although at one point, long ago, I had despised Jared for breaking Rebecca's heart her junior year of high school, and sure, maybe I sent a few shots after his truck, his father and I had always been buddies.

Jeremiah's truck was in the driveway, so I figured he was home. He wasn't.

"KIM! I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T-" I heard. Jared. I made my way down the hall to see what the commotion was. I didn't think Jared would kill her, but who knew.

"Hush, hush," Kim crooned, "the neighbors will hear."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME!" he screeched. What was she doing? I was almost tempted to open the door.

"You should have guessed," Kim retorted.

"I'm your imprint, not your psychic! Pleeeease-pretty please-OH! PLEASE, KIM!" He sounded like he was in agony. Was she chopping his head open or something?

Kim chuckled. "No matter how much you beg the answer will be no. Not until we're married." Oooooooooooh.

"BUT KIM! You know I can't afford a nice wedding right now. Not a wedding and a place to live too."

"How many times have I told you that it doesn't have to be expensive. Just being with you will make it special enough." Aw, how cute. It wouldn't make him feel better.

"But you know I want to do nice things for you, Kim. Only the best for you. That's why we've been waiting."

"If you want it to be the best for me then go take a shower and wait until the perfect moment. I love you."

"Damnit! I love you too!" I heard him kick the wall, it broke. "AH! NOW I'LL HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT TOO! I CAN NEVER WIN!"

"What was that?" a voice asked from the living room. I went in there to see who it was. It was Jeremiah.

"Oh! Hey, Billy! How's it going?" Jeremiah said, giving me a firm slap on the back. "Jared let you in?"

"Yes," I answered. "They've been entertaining me very graciously."

Jeremiah grinned. "See, Mary Anne, they've been talking to Billy. And you thought they'd be doing things."

"Yep, they've been angels," I said as Kim walked out.

"Oh! Hey Billy!"

"Billy says you and Jared have been taking care of him nicely. That's very mature of you two. Like having your own home. Who knows, keep it up and maybe Mary Anne and I will help you out with that," Jeremiah winked.

Kim blushed and tried to mutter something that amounted to a thank you. Once again, Billy Black saves the day.


Kim

Ever since the Victoria Mullen incident, Leah has traded Emily's companionship for Kim's. I wasn't upset; Kim was a good girl, but Emily made muffins.

Today they were over doing makeup or finger-nail painting or something ridiculous like that while I sat there hungry. "Hey girls, why don't you start on dinner?" I asked. "Don't you think that would be a nice thing to do for your mom, Leah?" I added so I wouldn't sound like an ass.

Leah shrugged. "I guess so," she said in her typical teenage fashion…except that she was in her twenties.

Sue:

It was January. It was fifty degrees in my house. Do you know why?

No, not because my son and step-children ate so much I had to choose between food and heat.

No, not because my wife shopped so much that I had to choose between food, heat, and the right to sleep in my own bed.

No, not even because the Cullens were holding a vampire convention in my house, thereby lowering the temperature twenty degrees below what it should be.

It is because I got married too late. Because Harry beat me to Sue's golden years.

"Can we turn the heat up a bit?" I would ask.

"Are you insane? It's a sauna in here!" she would say, leaning against the counter top, "glistening."

None of the kids minded since THEY ran 108 degrees, but I didn't think I'd go cuddle with any of them to get warm.

Then again, that gave me an idea. I went back to the bedroom and dug through the bottom drawer. There it was. Sue had gotten it for me this Christmas as a joke. I swore I would never wear it, but I was desperate.

I took the snuggie out of its box and struggled to figure out where the arm holes were. The infomercial was right; it was slightly more convenient than a blanket, then again, the infomercial was wrong; the convenience was definitely not worth $19.99 plus shipping and handling or whatever Sue paid for it.

Well, it could be worse, I thought as I went to go watch the game. At least the other guys weren't here to rag on me about it.

When Sue walked into the living room, she laughed. "What are you wearing, Billy?"

"What do you mean what am I wearing?" I snapped. When I'm in the zone with the game I sometimes forget my tone. "You got me this damn thing."

"Well you look ridiculous! I get the message, Billy; let me turn the heat up.

Problem solved. Once again, Billy Black saves the day.


Alright, hope you enjoyed that. Please be epic and review! Thanks!

Hufflepuffbrunette :)