Disclaimer: Don't own.
AN: NC-17. I did try cutting back on the smex. It did not work. oh well.
Genma rolled over in bed again. Part of himself wished he was off on a mission, but then again, being distract while on a mission wouldn't be a good idea. It had been five days since his conversation with Iruka, but he found himself worrying. He didn't know if he was being paranoid or just over reacting, but he was worried. Extremely worried. Raidou has been gone for too long, and what made it worse was that when Raidou told him how long he was going to be gone, he sounded confident about it.
"A week, I really don't think it should take longer than that."
What if something happened – he interrupted his thought as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair, Don't go there, Genma. He climbed out of the bed with a sigh and walked to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea in hopes to distract himself. He boiled the water and let the tea bag seep while he stared at it. He drank the hot liquid, letting it relax him with its warmth. He stood in the kitchen as he finished his tea, hoping that it will help him relax enough to sleep. He placed the empty cup in the sink and walked out of the kitchen with a sigh. As he walked down the hall back to the bedroom he heard the front door open and his heart skipped a beat.
Raidou walked in, trying to be quiet as he shut the door. The older man sighed and toed off his sandals and looked up, catching sight of Genma standing in the hall. He gave the younger man a tired smile, "Gen."
Genma closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around the older man's neck, burying his face into the covered neck. He felt strong, tired arms wrap around him, returning the embrace.
"Genma," he sighed. He felt the younger man tremble in his arms and concern filled him, "Gen?"
"Raidou," his voice cracked and he couldn't stop shaking. He tightened his hold around the older man as he tried to keep his composure. He felt lips plant a soft kiss on his neck in a soothing gesture, threatening his reserve.
"Genma," he whispered and felt his heart ache at the choked gasp, "Shh, it's alright. I'm alright."
Genma pulled away and swallowed. He couldn't stop shaking, "A-are you hurt?"
Raidou shook his head and cupped a pale cheek, "I'm sorry that I made you worry," he said softly, and brushed away unshed tears from the hazel eye that made his heart ache, tears that the younger man wasn't aware of, "Gen."
Genma rewrapped his arms around the older man, "I'm just glad your back home, Raidou," he said softly, and heard his voice crack.
Raidou sighed and buried his face into the pale neck, "Genma," he sighed, "The mission didn't go as planned," he explained softly, "I'm sorry I'm late". He pulled away and looked at the younger man, "Are you alright?"
Genma kept his gaze on the older man's neck. Gentle fingers tipped his chin up and lips sealed over his in a tender kiss. He threaded his fingers into the dark brown hair and deepened the kiss, feeling his anxiety melt with the comforting warmth. He leaned forward when the older man tried pulling away, tipping their balance and Raidou's back met the door.
Raidou broke the kiss, his lips lingering against the other pair, "Better?"
Genma nodded and closed his eyes. He pulled away and looked at the older man, looked at how tired and dirty he was, "You must be tired."
Raidou sighed, "Exhausted."
Genma's gaze softened, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," he took the older man's hand into his and led him into the bedroom where he stripped his lover from the filthy uniform. He helped the older man shower, holding him up when Raidou threatened to lose his balance. He noticed the few scratches, and a few cuts, but they weren't deep. He caught the older man when his knees gave out, "Rai, still with me?" he felt his lover nod once, "Come on," he said softly and helped the older man stand. He cupped a tanned cheek, making the half-lidded dark eyes look at him. He gave the scarred cheek a kiss and turned off the water. He managed to towel them dry and help Raidou into the bed by wrapping a secure arm around his waist. He covered the tired body with the covers before slipping next to him. A smile tugged on his lips when the sleeping body snuggled against him, arms loosely wrapping around him as the older man tucked his head under his chin. He threaded his fingers into the dark strands, smiling when he felt the body pressed against him relax further into sleep.
"Welcome back home, Rai," he whispered, wrapping his arms around the older man's shoulders in a warm protective embrace.
Genma snapped awake when the body in his arms began to tremble, "Rai?" he asked, his voice still hoarse with sleep. The older man made a noise and concern filled him, "Raidou?" He remembered now. The last time this happened. Raidou was having a nightmare.
He rolled them over, laying Raidou onto his back and pinned the older man's hands against the bed when they tried grabbing at him. There was a time when the hands tried grabbing at him in a way that they would grab an enemy; by the throat, "Raidou," he tried again, trying not to scare the older man awake. The time when Raidou's nightmare induced mind grabbed his throat he managed not to struggle because he knew that would only make it worse. He was lucky enough to have the older man snap awake when his mind registered that the flesh in his hand was too real, but he would never forget the horrified look in the dark eyes.
He looked down at the older man's face, aided by the dim light that filtered in through the closed curtains, and noticed the dark brows furrowed either by pain or concentration, he couldn't tell, "Radiou, wake up," he tried and used his weight to pin the older man down, pressing his body against the older man's, "It's alright," he whispered into his lover's ear, "It's alright, love, it's only a nightmare," he felt the body under him stop its struggle, the older man's ragged breath hitting the shell of his ear, "It's alright," he cooed softly, and loosened his grip on his lover's wrist, "Rai." He relaxed against the older man when he felt the ragged breath even back out. He lifted himself with his forearms and threaded his hair into the dark locks, "Are you alright?"
Raidou nodded and opened his eyes, "Yeah…yeah, I think so," he leaned his head against the hazel head as the younger man snuggled against him. He felt thumbs stroke his wrist and move to entwine their fingers. He smiled and returned the grip, bringing their joined hands to his lips and kissed the pale knuckles. He felt the younger man's sigh against his chest and move to roll off of him. He wrapped an arm around the younger man to hold him in place, "Hmm, you're comfortable," he felt the younger man's smile as he slowly drifted back into sleep.
Raidou sighed as he woke up, a smile tugging at his lips at the comfortable weight still on top of him. He smoothed his hand over the bareback of his lover, making the younger man sigh and snuggled closer into him. He tenderly kissed the exposed temple and let out a soft sigh as he wrapped his arms around the pale body. He looked at the portion of the pale face that wasn't pressed against his chest and gently pushed away stray strands of hair. He noticed how tired Genma looked, the dark circles under the eyes, due from the lack of sleep, which went unnoticed at first glance. He cupped a pale cheek and gently stroked his thumb under the closed eye. He gave the pale forehead a soft kiss, a silent apology. Hazel eyes fluttered open and looked up at him, a sleepy smile gracing the younger man's lips, "'Morning, Gen."
Genma sighed and sleepily nuzzled the older man's neck, "'Morning, Raidou." He kissed his lover's neck, and nuzzled his jaw line, "I missed you," he said softly.
Raidou nuzzled the pale neck, hugging his lover close, "I missed you too, Gen."
Genma braced himself on his forearms as he sensually pressed his body closer. His eyes slid shut as a warm hand cupped his cheek and moved back to thread through his hair and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. He sighed as they slowly rolled their hips, bare skin gliding over bare skin. He felt hands glide over his flanks down to his hips, and around to his rear.
Raidou moved his lips to the pale neck, and kissed right below the ear lobe, leaving a mark that wouldn't be easily hidden. He wanted to make it up to Genma, make up for all the worry and stress he caused him. He wanted to reassure him, wanted to remove any doubts or worries that still lingered. He sealed their lips in a sensual, tender kiss, feeling the younger man's sigh as he delved his tongue into the wet cavern, letting their tongues dance, and roll against each other, their hips following suit. He mentally nodded, yes, this was about Genma. Genma needed this more than he did.
Genma's mind woke up with fingers threading into his hair. He smiled and kept his eyes closed as he snuggled closer to the older man. He felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine as he remember their love making sessions, in which he lost count as to how many times they came, or how many times Raidou made him come. He was glad that they both had the day off so that they could just relax and lounge around the apartment. He felt lips meet his, and the older man pushed him against the mattress, making him smile into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. He hummed in approval as lips brushed against his, "Hmm, Rai," he opened his eyes and smiled up at the older man who looked rather disheveled, "Just to let you know," he said softly as he continued to smile up at his lover, "I'm kind of sore."
Raidou blushed and stammered, "I – I – I wasn't planning - ," he frowned, "I'm sorry."
Genma shook his head and kissed the scarred cheek, "No, it's the good type of soreness," he grinned, "I was just letting you know incase you were planning anything."
Raidou softly chuckled, "So, kissing is alright?"
Genma hummed and gave his lover a soft kiss, "Better than alright," he grinned and pulled the older man down, locking their lips in another passionate kiss. He sighed as the older man made a trail of kisses along his neck to his shoulder. He met his lover's lips in a tender kiss, smoothing his palms over the older man's back, following the curve of his spine down to the small of his back. He pulled his lover closer, subconsciously spreading his legs, wanting the older man's body closer to his.
Raidou groaned as a leg hooked over his hip. He smoothed his hand over the pale thigh as he pressed his body even closer, if that was possible. He broke the kiss when the need for oxygen became too great and instead began to kiss and suck on the pale neck, renewing the fading marks.
Their bodies began to rock against each other, hips grinding in a delicious friction. Genma gasped and rocked his hips harder against the older man, their erections grinding against each other.
"Gen," Raidou breathed out against skin and circled his hip, making the pale body buck against him.
"Raidou, d-do that again -," he moaned as the older man complied and continued to do it, making a pulse run up his spine.
Raidou moaned sealed their lips together in a searing kiss. He thrust against the younger man as warm hands moved to his hips and began to knead them as the slender hips began to meet his rhythm.
"Rai," Genma breathed out, groaning as their members slowly became slick with their precum. He began to moan uncontrollably when the older man began to tease his nipples into nubs and gently, yet sensually, pinched them. He felt his body grow hotter and a hand move along his thigh, moving to his hip. He moved his hands along the older man's flanks and around to his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles contract under his palms, "Rai – ah! I- I'm -," he moaned as his lover moved to nibble on his earlobe, licking it before moving from the tender flesh to right under it, right behind his jaw. He threaded his fingers into the dark locks and felt the older man pull away enough to lock him into a hot, wet kiss.
Raidou moaned into the kiss as he felt the younger man jerk against him. He thrust against the younger man and felt his lover's seed smearing in between them, slicking his own member. He broke the kiss, allowing the younger man to pant for air as half-lidded hazel eyes locked with his as his own orgasm claim him. He felt a hand cup his cheek as the waves of pleasure coursed through him, adding to the mess in between them, "Gen," he said breathlessly, becoming a boneless heap on top of his lover.
Genma hummed and nuzzled his lover's neck. He sighed as the older man pulled away and reached over for the towel they had left there and cleaned their stomachs.
Raidou smiled and rolled them onto their sides. He combed his fingers through the hazel hair earning him a sated smile from the younger man, "I thought kissing was alright," he said softly, a teasing note in his voice.
Genma felt himself blush as he nuzzled the older man's palm, "It was better than alright."
Raidou chuckled, "All that from kissing?"
Genma smiled, "Not only kissing, Rai."
Raidou quirked an eyebrow.
Genma smiled as he kissed the older man's palm, "You."
Raidou smiled and planted a soft kiss on the pale forehead. He continued to thread his fingers into the soft locks and watched as the younger man drifted into sleep. He waited a few moments longer, making sure that the younger man was asleep before slowly withdrawing his hand. He slowly shifted and replaced himself with a clone, making the sleeping man stir at the pulse of chakra.
"Just make sure he doesn't wake up," he whispered to his clone who nodded in response. He hesitated and furrowed his brows, "No funny business," his clone smirked, "I'm serious," he hissed, and sighed when he realized he was practically telling himself not to molest Genma anymore, "I'm going to the mission room to turn in my report." He dressed into a uniform and turned back to the pair on the bed. He frowned at his clone as it shifted closer to Genma and continued to thread its fingers through the hazel hair. His clone looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.
He sighed, I'm getting jealous over a clone? My clone. He shook his head and walked out of the bedroom and out of the apartment.
Genma frowned as his mind woke up. He cracked his eyes open and found Raidou stroking his bicep in a gentle caress. He narrowed his eyes, "Where is he?"
The hand paused and the clone smiled, "How did you know?"
Genma looked into the dark eyes, "You feel different," the hand on his bicep withdrew, "Not physically…," he sighed, "It's hard to explain."
Raidou's clone softly chuckled, "He went to the mission room to turn in his report, and he didn't want to wake you."
Genma chuckled and shook his head, "That man," he pillowed his head on a folded arm and let out a sigh.
"He was worried about you," the clone said softly.
Genma looked at the clone.
"He was worried about you," he repeated, "When he was running late. The part that wasn't focused on the mission was thinking about you."
Genma looked into the dark eyes of his lover's clone as a warm hand came up to stroke his cheek.
"And you were worried about him," the clone said gently, and watched as the hazel eyes averted their gaze, "You thought something happened to him."
Genma swallowed through the lump growing in his throat, the emotions coming back to him in a flood, the emotions that told him that there was a chance of Raidou not coming back from a mission. The chance of either of them coming home. He didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think how much it would hurt. The thought of losing Raidou. One of the reasons as to why he didn't let himself get close to anyone. But Raidou was different.
He's worth it, he thought and felt tears weld up in his eyes. He buried his face into his arm, hiding himself from the clone that was trying to sooth him. He felt the puff of smoke and he knew what that meant, he didn't want to look up. He didn't want Raidou to see him like this.
"Genma," he said softly, feeling his heart ache when he heard a choke sob. He pulled the younger man up and cradled him against his chest, wrapping his arms around the trembling pale body, "Genma," he whispered. He knew what his clone said, and he mentally cursed himself for leaving a clone to begin with. He felt the younger man pull away and duck his head as he swiped at his eyes with the back of his wrist.
Genma took steady breaths to calm himself, but he couldn't stop shaking again. Tanned hands closed over his shaking pair and soft lips kissed his knuckles.
"Are you alright?" Raidou asked, giving the trembling pale hands and firm squeeze.
Genma nodded and let out a shaky breath, "Yeah," he took in a deep breath, "Yeah, I'm fine," he looked up and offered the older man a smile, "Yeah, it's…it's out of my system."
Raidou's gaze softened at the sight of the red rimmed eyes, "Genma," he said softly and cupped a pale cheek, stroking his thumb under a hazel eye.
"I'm alright," Genma reassured the older man, "I just…I overreacted."
Raidou wrapped his arms around the younger man in a warm embrace and dropped back on to the bed, "I'm sorry," he said softly, and brushed away the stray, hazel strands, "Gen, I'm so sorry."
Genma shook his head, a small smile on his lips, "It's not your fault, Raidou," he turned his head to nuzzle the older man's palm, "I'm just glad you came back home," he kissed his lover's palm, "I love you, Rai," he said softly and gave the palm another kiss.
Raidou smiled and stroked his thumb over his lover's lips, "I love you too, Gen," he gave the pale forehead a soft kiss before he sealed their lips together in a tender, reassuring kiss.
Genma sighed as Raidou pulled away, and smirked when he remembered something, "So, why did you leave your clone with me?"
Raidou softly chuckled, "I didn't want to wake you," he stroked a pale cheek.
Genma sighed, "What time is it?"
Raidou glanced at the clock, "Nearly 4:15."
Genma chuckled, "We've been in bed nearly all afternoon."
Raidou chuckled, "It's alright, it was our day off."
Genma hummed, "I'll probably be assigned on a mission soon."
Raidou sighed, "Probably."
Genma smiled and snuggled closer, "Then let's make the best out of it."
Raidou smiled and kissed the pale forehead.
Genma sat up and looked down at his lover, "And a shower wouldn't hurt."
Raidou laughed, "Hmm, it depends what we do."
Genma felt a blush cross his cheek. His lips spread into a lazy grin and leaned over the older man, his hair brushing against his lover's neck, "If you're convincing enough," he purred.
Raidou grinned and smoothed his hand over pale skin, "We'll see."
Genma's grin widened and hummed as he crawled out of bed, the older man followed close behind.
Raidou subconsciously combed his fingers through his sleeping lover's hair as the hazel head rested on his lap, while the younger man laid on the couch. He looked down from his book that he was reading as Genma stirred. He watched as the hazel eyes opened and the younger man turned his head to look up at the window where a messenger bird landed and began to tap on the window.
Genma sighed and sat up to open it. When the bird didn't try to moved away from his hand, he let out another sigh. He took the message from the bird's leg and closed the window as it flew away. The message was a summon, to report at the Hokage's office within an hour. He slid back down onto the couch and leaned against the older man.
"Do you want me to make dinner before you leave?"
Genma shook his head, "I'm not hungry."
Raidou frowned, "You shouldn't leave on an empty stomach."
Genma unfolded the message again, "I won't be gone long."
Raidou sighed, "You should still eat something, Gen."
Genma forced a smile on his lips, "Alright. Something light then."
After a small dinner, Genma dressed into his uniform and strapped on his pouches around his waist. He had a feeling what kind of mission he was going on, and part of him hoped he was wrong. Then again, it would be a type of payment for having such a long time off. He sighed as he tied on his bandana and hitai ate. He turned around to leave the bedroom and found Raidou leaning against the doorway. He noticed the concern look in the dark eyes, making him quirk an eyebrow.
"You said you were sore…"
Genma smiled, "I'll be alright," he softly chuckled, "I can still walk."
Raidou frowned.
Genma's smile softened. He closed the distance between them and sealed his lips over his lover's, "I'll be alright."
Raidou considered his lover before nodding.
Genma softly patted the older man's chest before moving past him and walking to the entrance of their apartment. He slipped on his flak jacket and hands on his hips turned his around, wrapping around his waist as the older man pulled his closer and sealed their lips in a passionate kiss. He sighed as Raidou broke the kiss and gave him a warm smile.
"Be careful."
Genma nodded and slipped a senbon between his lips. He let out a breath in a huff and turned to leave the apartment.
Raidou leaned against the wall as the door clicked shut.
Five days after Genma left, Raidou sat behind the mission desk with Iruka who was busy grading papers. It was a slow night. He let out a sigh as he let his mind wander in his own way of finding a distraction,
and he couldn't help but wonder when Genma would return from his mission. We didn't even get to spend a whole day together, his frown was aimed to himself when he realized how selfish that sounded, We're both jounin, what can we expect? He leaned against the desk and rested his chin in his hand.
Iruka glanced at the jounin sitting next to him, "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.
Raidou looked at the younger man and smiled, "Yeah."
Iruka gave him an unconvinced look before going back to his paper, "Hm."
Raidou chuckled and the younger man looked at him again.
"Want to get your mind off of things and help me grade?"
Raidou quirked an eyebrow, "You'll trust me with your grading?"
Iruka chuckled, "There's only one Jounin that I don't trust with my grading."
Raidou gave him a curious look, "Who?"
"You know him."
Raidou thought about it, "Genma?"
Iruka gave the older man an amused look. The guess cleared any doubts of who or what Raidou was so distracted by, "No."
Raidou frowned, "Who then?"
Iruka chuckled, "I'll give you one hint: I'm married to him."
Raidou laughed, "Kakashi?"
Iruka laughed and nodded.
"You don't trust your own husband with grading your papers?"
Iruka laughed and shook his head, "Look, I trust him with everything, just not this," he patted his stack of papers, "Because you see, I let him help me grade once. Once. And he just slaughtered the essay I let him grade. I couldn't even give it back to my student, instead I had to lie to him and say that I misplaced it but will give him full credit," he shook his head at the memory while Raidou laughed. He divided his stack in half and handed them to Raidou along with the key, "So here, it's a good distraction."
Raidou chuckled and took the offered stack. And Iruka was right, it was a good distraction.
Genma stumbled into the dark apartment, leaning on the door as it shut behind him. He blinked as his vision grew blurry and made him confused as he wondered if it was just his eyes adjusting to the dark or if his vision was blurring. He slid off his bandana and hitai ate as he pushed himself off the door and stumbled as he walked towards the bedroom. He let his bandana and hitai drop on the floor, followed by his flak jacket, and pouch, making a trail of clothing to the easy chair that was near the window. He dropped himself onto the chair, groaning as his muscles protested. He tilted his head back and looked through the window, the curtains still open, allowing him to see the night sky. It was relaxing this way. He moved his gaze from the window to the dark bedroom, to the empty bed. A sudden shudder traveled down his spine, making him close his eyes in discomfort.
He never liked these kinds of mission. The kind where he had targets in order to get information. Most of the time he didn't let it bother him, didn't let it affect him. Most of the time he didn't think about it, he saw it as his duty, and after a long conversation with Raidou, he knew it didn't define him. Them.
But he couldn't deny that it still made a part of who they really were.
Nights like these, when he subconsciously began to think about what he's done in his life. About his past. About the present. About the possible future. Nights like these when he would rather go to sleep and hope that the same thoughts wouldn't haunt his dreams. Nights like these were the kind he completely disliked. He tilted his head back again to look up at the night sky. He needed to shower, needed to clean up and get to bed. He let out a tired sigh and looked away from the window when he heard footsteps stop at the doorway. He blinked away the blurriness again and offered Raidou a smile that ended up looking more tired than anything.
Raidou closed the distance between them, turning on a lamp from the bedside table as he went. He knelt in front of the younger man to be closer at eye level, "You're back," he said softly.
Genma slowly nodded his head and sighed as a warm hand cupped his cheek, a thumb stroking under his eye.
Raidou took in the appearance of his lover. There were circles under the hazel eyes due to the paler complexion of the younger man's skin, he could tell that he hadn't had any sleep for days. Genma was obviously tired. He took a pale hand in his and realized that it was trembling, not noticeably, but he could feel it, "Genma, are you alright?"
Genma moved his gaze to the older man's and slowly nodded, "Yeah…I'm just…," he blinked away the blurriness from his eyes again, "I'm just…," his gaze dropped to their joined hands.
Raidou studied his lover's face. He had a sinking feeling where this was going, and he truly hoped he was wrong, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He stood and helped the younger man out of the easy chair, noticing his lover's wince, "Are you alright?"
Genma nodded and let the older man support him as they moved to the bathroom.
Raidou undressed the both of them, his eyes roaming over pale skin, sighing when he only found a couple of bruises. He steadied his lover as they got in to the shower and began to wash his lover, washing the hazel hair, the half-lidded hazel eyes fixed on him. He gently pushed his lover into the spray, tiling his head to rinse the shampoo out. He turned the younger man around to wash his back and snaked his arm around to wash his front, pulling him closer as he did so. He hardly caught the younger man when his knees gave out, the pale body nearly slipping out of his grip due to the suds, "Gen."
"I'm ok," Genma responded, "Sorry."
Raidou steadied the younger man and finished washing him. He shut the water off and noticed how the younger man shivered at the sudden change. The sinking feeling returned, and he truly hoped he was wrong. He managed to towel them off and didn't bother trying to wrap towels around each other's waist. Just as they were about the step out of the bathroom the younger man made a soft noise in the back of his throat.
"Rai," he said softly, "I'm going to pass out."
Raidou gave his lover a concerned, yet understanding look, "I've got you," the pale body slumped against him nearly at once. He squatted and lifted the younger man instead, wrapping an arm under his lover's knees and around his torso, the hazel head lolling to his shoulder. He laid the pale body in the bed and pulled the covers over him. He sighed and brushed away the damp bangs away from the younger man's forehead, leaning down to give it a soft kiss, "Welcome back home, Gen," he whispered as his lover continued to sleep.
