I continue throwing up for two days before I decide I need to go see a doctor. I don't know why I'm so hungry. I guess my stomach hasn't regained its normal size after gorging myself during the tour, because I have noticed that my stomach has grown and I out on a little weight.
"Hello Annelise, I am Doctor Hall. What seems to be the problem?" She asks. I tell her all my symptoms, and she nods.
"I believe I know what's wrong." She says. She has me do a test, and I wait in the room while she gets the results.
"Well Annelise, we have your results." She hands me the paper, and I read it. A flicker of joy crosses over me, then dread quickly replaces it.
"This can't be happening." I say. My head is in my hands, and I'm trying to stop myself from crying.
"Thank you doctor." I say.
"You're welcome. Now, I will need you to come in for regular check ups." She says.
I nod my head. I get down off the table and walk out the door. Marcus drove me here, and he waits patiently in the waiting room.
"Let's go." I say. He follows me out and I climb in to his car. I put my head back in my hands, resting my elbows on my legs. I brace myself to tell Marcus. He hops in the driver's seat.
"What did the doctor say? Are you ok?" He asks. Physically, yes. Emotionally, I'm not quite sure yet.
"I'm ok. But…" I start. I push the words out.
"I'm pregnant."
I look up at Marcus.
"How did…" He starts, but we both know how it happened.
It was during the victory tour, December 1st to be exact. I was having the worst nightmares I have ever experienced. I woke up, and he was there to comfort me, and it just… happened. He starts to smile.
"So we're having a baby?" He says, still smiling.
"I guess so." I say, but I'm not smiling. I'm worried.
"Why do you look so upset?" He asks.
"Marcus, I don't want to bring a child into this. I couldn't live with myself if they got chosen for the games. And don't you think we're a little young?" I say.
I feel two conflicting emotions inside of me. One is happiness, the other is fear.
I have always wanted to be a mother. I'm carrying a person inside of me now. But I don't want to bring a child into this world with everything going on. I would always loathe a pregnant woman I saw since the games started. But now I'm one of them.
He considers this for a second.
"I know you're worried, but it's too late now. We made a choice, and we have to take the consequences. This isn't a bad thing. It's a blessing." He says.
"I know it is. I just don't want my baby in those games. Stone already hates me. What would stop him from making sure my child would be in those games?" I say.
"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it." He says. He starts the car, and we drive off. I look out the window, thinking. It all makes sense now, why I was sick, why I gained weight. I remember my mother going through the same thing when she had Becca, though I was little and didn't know what was going on.
But now I'm worried about the baby. Aren't we too young to have a baby? Granted, we would have no problem supporting a child. We have enough money to. But I don't think I'm emotionally ready for a baby.
I push away negative thoughts, and focus on more positive things. Is it a boy or girl? What should we name it? Who's it going to look like?
"How are we going to tell our families?" I ask. He lets out a small laugh.
"Should be interesting." He replies. I think of my father's reaction. Oh, it's going to be interesting all right…
"I say we get them all in a group and tell them. And hide anything that can be used as a weapon." I add.
Marcus's father is getting out of the hospital soon. We visited him the day after the surgery, and he was already starting to stand, with the help of a cane. It was nice to see him up and happy, not in pain. Marcus was so happy when we saw him. Nothing could have brought him down.
"Let's tell them after your father comes home." I say. He nods.
"Ok." He replies. He pulls up to my house.
"I have to go get Jane and Becca from their friend's birthday party." He says. I nod and lean over and kiss him. I open the door and step out of the car. He pulls out of the driveway, and I walk through the door. Mother meets me in the living room.
"So, what did the doctor say?" She asks. I forgot that they knew I was going to the doctors.
"Oh, she said that I was just stressed over the whole mentoring thing." I say.
"Oh, that's all?" She says, giving me her 'look'. Of course she knows what's going on. She has been through it three times.
I look down at my feet. She waves me over. I sit down next to her.
"I know what's really wrong." She says. I expect a lecture, but instead she pulls me in for hug.
"I was going to wait until Marcus's father got out of the hospital to tell everyone. Get everyone in a big group and let it out." I say.
"Well I won't spoil your plans." She says.
"You're not going to tell anyone?" I ask. She nods her head.
"Thank you. But can I talk to you about it?" I ask. She nods.
"I'm happy and all, but at the same time I'm terrified. I don't want to bring another human into this world, put another child in the awful position I was in. When the games were first announced, I wrote off ever having kids." I say.
"I can see what you're worried about. But this can be an amazing experience. I know you're worried about the games, but honestly, what are the odds your child will be picked?" She says.
"Well what were the odds that I was picked?" I say. She starts to respond, but stops her self. She knows it's true.
"All I'm saying is that you shouldn't worry so much. Stress isn't good for the baby." She says. This makes me realize how much I have to change. I need to be more careful about what I eat or do. I thank her and head up to my room.
I open the door and flip the light on. I go up to the mirror and pull up my shirt, reveling my developing stomach. A little bump has started to form. I rub my hand over it. Someone is in there. I smile.
I pull my shirt back down over my stomach and lay down on my bed. I pick up my picture frame, running my fingers over the engraved names. Another name will accompany ours soon.
I hear a car pull up and I sit up. I hear Jane and Becca's giggles float up from downstairs. I sit on the edge of my bed, holding the frame in my hands. Marcus opens the door and sits down next to me. He looks at the picture frame.
"Soon we can get another one made, with more names." He says, smiling. He puts his hand on my abdomen, and I lay my hand on top of his. I lean over and pull him in for a long, passionate kiss. My hands hold on to the back of his neck, his hands gently holding me by my waist.
I start to feel hungry, and I pull away.
"Both of us are hungry. We're going to go get some food." I say, jokingly.
He smiles and walks me down, holding my hand. I step into the kitchen and open the fridge. I have been craving PB&J lately. Mother walks in.
"So how are you doing, Marcus?" She asks.
"Fine, thank you. How are you?" He asks.
"I'm great. I'm going to be a grandmother soon." She says. Marcus looks at her, and then looks back at me.
I shrug my shoulders. "She's too smart for us." I say, my mouth full of food.
"I've been through it three times. I knew what it was before you did." She says, a smirk crossing her face.
"Don't worry. She said she wouldn't tell anyone." I add, putting some more of the sandwich into my mouth. He lets out a small laugh.
"Guess you are too smart for us." He says.
I stuff myself, and then retire to the couch. I flip on the TV and lay down on Marcus's lap.
I feel relaxed, and then I feel immediately sick. I sit up quickly and rush to the bathroom. I kneel down by the toilet and start throwing up. Marcus rushes in and rubs my back while I throw up. When I finish, I flush the toilet and sit by it.
"Ugh. This isn't going to be fun." I say. He helps me up, and I go to the sink and wash out my mouth. We go back to the living room, and I lay back down, my hand resting on my abdomen.
