30 Days of Puckurt; Alternate Universes
DAY #12: The One with the Ass


"Prince Kurt," Puck, a hulking ogre in his prime, gave an exaggerated bow in the direction of "His Majesty". Puck inwardly scoffed. If he hadn't known better, man... dude looked like a lady.

The Prince's face, which had been hilariously warped in shock, quickly schooled itself blank. "I'm sorry, you are?"

"Your night in shining armor." Puck said so with relish, smirking and flexing one hulking green arm. Finn, stupid ass that he was, ruined the moment by galloping straight into Puck, making them both stumble. Puck yelled in frustration, picking the donkey up over his head before flinging him over to the large canopy bed. "Stupid donkey!"

"Dude!"

Kurt cleared his throat, arms folded and eyebrows raised as the pair turned back to the royalty they were supposed to bring back to Blaine, the Prince of Duloc. "You're my saviors?"

Puck and Finn exchanged twin looks of smug satisfaction. "Seems so," Puck shrugged.

"Great." Kurt scoffed but allowed the two to lead him out of the castle, past the slain dragon and around the corpses of the wannabe rescuers. Puck didn't question it when Kurt stopped to stare at the dragon's unmoving reptilian form.

At long last, Kurt turned away, surreptitiously sniffing and wiping at his eye. "Let's go."

They didn't cover much ground that day; the prudish prince forced the party to stop at a shelter for the night.

"Dude, c'mon," Puck insisted. "We could get so much farther than this. If you're tired, I could-"

Kurt leveled him with a pissed-off frown. "I'm Prince Kurt, not dude. And I am exhausted and I demand we rest at once!"

Puck glared right back. "Prince, you've had years to rest! Let's just-"

"No!"

"Fine, you lazy princess!"

"Good, you bumbling oaf!"

"Good!"

Kurt stomped over to the dingy shack, yanking the door open. "Good! I bid you a good night, Finn." He glared one last time in Puck's direction before slamming the door closed.

The donkey turned to watch as Puck shouted his frustrations out, startling a flock of birds out of some nearby trees. Finn hid his grin as he watched his ogre friend stomp off in the direction of the woods, large green form highlighted by the setting sun.

He waited until the temperamental ogre was out of earshot before laughing out loud, rolling in the dirt with unrestrained mirth. "Oh my god, they so want each other!"