Disclaimer: See Chapter 11.

Note: Early update because tonight is the Royal Rumble! I plan on being fully glued to my television cheering on our boys! (Roman, Seth, Dean, Cody, and probably half of the other entrants XD. I'm really hoping Drew makes an appearance using his old theme. I'm sick of 3MB to be honest.) Anyway, this chapter is going to be a bit rough, just forewarning you. Enjoy! -JJ


Hell On The Heart

The cool ocean air rushed across Seth's face, the clouds rolling in along with the tide. The darkening grey sky was only making Seth feel anxious as his lower lip receded into his mouth, between his white teeth only for the sharp bones to sink lightly into it. He swallowed hard, looking down at his watch, the time saying that Dean still had a few minutes before six.

He shook his head, closing his dark eyes and resting his hands on the sun warmed banister on the pier. He let the gentle breeze envelope his senses, the over abundant salt in the air stinging his nose when he inhaled, the breeze cooling the little bit of sweat on his brow. He blew out a heated sigh, eyes sliding open as he looked down at the waves, the white crests starting to grow in intensity. His heart was pounding, his mind playing over the last few time he'd been with Dean. They hadn't spent any time alone since Cody's welcome home party two weeks prior.

Seth smiled, his hand being held a little tighter as Damien made a less than friendly comment before walking away. "You have to be nicer to him," he joked, biting back a chuckle at the way Dean blew the other man off completely. "Where else are you going to find books?"

Dean's face lit up again. He shrugged nonchalantly; still a little embarrassed that Seth had found out his secret. He'd been buying books for Seth for years, searching for ones that would really interest Seth and help him become a better photographer. He'd made Cody swear to never tell the other man, not after the countless hours he'd spent at the store confiding in him. "There's other stores," he muttered, pulling Seth a little closer to him. "I wanted to talk to you."

Seth cocked his head to the side, ready for whatever it was that Dean needed to say. "What's up?" he asked, heart starting to pound as his brown eyes rested on the pink lips. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and press a soft kiss back, but knew better than to do so. Dean had told him to "take it for what it was", meaning that he was probably just a passing interest to the older male.

Dean looked down at their feet, unsure of how to start. "Punk didn't show up," he breathed, his gaze moving back up to the dark eyes. "Where is he this time?"

Seth felt a heated sort of frustration settle in him. "At the shop, where else would he be?" he asked, eyes narrowing just slightly. "I don't want to talk about him again."

"Why are you still with him Seth? He's no good for you."

Seth tightened his hand around Dean's before tugging it free. "He loves me Dean. Not like you can talk with all the people you've taken home just to fuck."

Dean's eyes narrowed, the fire in Seth's eyes only making him that much more irritated with their conversation. "They knew what I wanted from the beginning. I didn't just string them along."

Seth took a step back. "Like you do to me?" he heatedly muttered, jaw tightening. "First you kiss me, then you treat me like it never mattered!" He was breathing hard, a shocked but angry look on his best friends features. "That's what I thought."

Dean stood there, the dark look on Seth's face only making him breathe out a hot breath. He turned, shaking his head. How was he supposed to deal with Seth when they were both like that? He walked in one direction, knowing Seth was doing the same in the opposite one.

He sucked in a shallow breath, eyes narrowing on the waves. He hadn't meant what he'd said to Dean. In reality, he'd been the one leading Dean on for all those years. He'd been the one with the secret love and he'd been the one to settle for someone else. He sighed, thinking of the man he was with.

He loved Phil, he really did. They'd been perfect when they'd gotten together. Phil had been that perfect mixture of bad boy and the guy you'd take home to meet your mother wrapped up in one package. He was good looking, and he was sweet, not to mention beyond funny and fun to be around.

But all that had changed over their years together. Some how, some where in time, Phil had changed. He went from being perfect to being possessive, and somewhat mean. They'd broken up several times before, normally over something stupid and after some time to cool down, one or the other would come back with an apology. That's how it had always been.

"You look like you're thinking pretty hard there," Dean teased, walking up to stand right next to Seth, leaning heavily on the wooden railing, his blue eyes looking out at the unsteady waves. "What's on your mind?"

Seth shook his head. He didn't want to discuss Phil, not when he knew it would only lead to an argument. "Nothin' really, just watching the ocean," he answered, a small smile gracing his lips as he looked over at Dean. His smile widened, genuine happiness spreading across his face. "Ready to get out of here?"

Dean smirked, nodding. "Am I following you?" he asked, standing straight, tucking his hands in his jeans pockets.

"Not unless you want me to run," Seth chuckled, looking over to find the surprised look on Dean's face.

"You walked all the way here? You live like three miles away," Dean announced, wondering how Seth could just take off like that. "You're nuts Rollins."

Seth only smiled. "I had a lot on my mind. A little walk was helpful," he explained, nudging shoulders with Dean. "How was work?"

Dean groaned, hands aching. "Dirty and tiresome. Like usual." He ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back, his other arm stretching upwards to rid his back of the lingering tension. "I'm still sweaty. I didn't get a chance to get a shower before I came up here."

Seth chuckled. "Did you want one?"

Dean shrugged. "Depends, do you want to wait thirty minutes?"

Seth shrugged back. "I don't mind waiting. I'll just crash on your couch or something." He bumped into Dean again, earning a strong arm around his neck, pulling him in. "Oh gross, you smell terrible!" he teased, pushing Dean away from him, the strong scent slamming into him. Truthfully, he liked how Dean smelled after work. Something about the masculinity and hard work attracted him.

"That's what a man's supposed to smell like!" Dean boasted, laughing as he released Seth. "We don't wear that pretty perfume for men shit." He laughed hard, Seth punching him in the arm. "Keep it up pretty boy, you're gonna end up in the ocean by the end of the night."

Seth only smiled. "If I wanted to get wet, I could do that at home by myself."

Dean tried to ignore the implication of those words. "Why would you do that when you have Punk?" he asked, a deep pit of jealousy starting to bubble in the pit of his stomach. He'd dreamed of touching that perfect, sun kissed skin on several occasions.

"He's out with Shan and Angie. I didn't want to be alone," he answered, waving his hand in the air, showing that it wasn't of much importance.

"So I'm just a second option?" he asked, feigning hurt. "I'm wounded. I thought after all these years we had something special."

Seth laughed, telling Dean, "It wasn't like that" before they wondered up to Dean's truck.


Seth was laying back on Dean's couch, petting the white cat that had decided that she liked him and curled up next to his chest. His fingers ran through her soft fur, smoothing down the already silky coat, a gentle purr filling his ears. He liked Dean's cat. She was probably the only thing that could put up with Dean. He chuckled, his hand moving to scratch under her chin, the mismatched eyes on him. "You're the sweetest cat I've ever met Mox. Why you stick around I'll never know," he murmured, looking into the furry face. He looked over the blind blue eye, a deep scar running down the center from the top of her head down past her chin, the other green one lazily looking over Seth's face.

"I rescued her, that's why she's here," Dean said, walking over to where Seth was laying and sat down on the edge of the sofa. "Hey Moxley." He cooed at her, the cat instantly standing and crawling into Dean's lap, her head brushing along his bare chest. "We're one in the same. We understand each other."

Seth smiled, looking from the damp hair, down Dean's gentle face. He loved that face, more than he wanted to admit. He didn't dare let his eyes wonder over the toned chest, knowing he'd only want to reach out and press his skin against Dean's. He didn't have look down to know that Dean was only wearing a pair of sweat pants.

"You okay down there?" Dean asked, pausing at the confused look in Seth's eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Seth shook his head, sitting up and scooting back so that the armrest of the couch was against his lower back. "Nothing," he murmured, pulling his knees up to his chest, resting his cheek against them. He didn't want to admit that he was thinking about Dean. He closed his eyes, thinking about their kiss then their argument at the party. There was no way Dean could feel the same as him, not after being with Phil so long. He blew out a sigh, chocolate orbs opening and looking around the living room, the tv off, but the light next to him on.

"Hey," Dean tried again, gently pushing Moxley from his legs and leaning over, his hand touching the soft bearded cheek, careful not to touch the still angry looking bruise. "Seth, talk to me."

Seth shook his head, refusing to look up into the worried blue eyes. "Are you hungry?" he asked, changing the subject. "I don't want to go home so, I thought we could get something to eat."

Dean sighed, letting his annoyed cat get back in his lap. He gave her head a few good strokes, the purring growing louder. "You and Phil get into it again?"

Seth shrugged, not wanting to answer the question. He heard Moxley as she jumped down to the hardwood floor, the couch shifting as his cheek was cradled in a rough hand again. "I don't want to talk about it Dean," he growled, looking over into the worried blue eyes. He felt his heart lurch in his chest, his body unfolding before he crawled over Dean, pushing him back against the cushions, Dean's head resting on the opposite arm.

Dean laid there, his hips awkwardly placed on the couch, one cheek of his ass hanging off. "Seth?" he questioned, the smaller male crawling to straddle his legs, Seth's hands slowly touching his smooth cheeks. He felt a shiver run through him as Seth leaned in, pushing their lips together in a soft kiss.

Seth felt himself relax in the chaste kiss, one of Dean's arms wrapping around his waist, the other winding in his pulled back hair, pulling him even closer to Dean. He gasped, a hot tongue sneaking into his mouth, the overwhelming taste of mint taking over.

Dean tightened his arms around Seth, pushing him back so he could sit up, their chests flush against the other. His eyes were closed as he let his tongue slowly roam around Seth's mouth, taking in every taste he could, memorizing every nook and cranny.

Seth felt hot, his hands shaking as they wound in the short blond hair. He pulled back, resting his forehead against Dean's, brushing his lips lightly against the pink ones. He didn't dare say a word as his arms left from around Dean's neck, his hands grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it up over his head. He took one of Dean's hands and pressed it against his pectoral, the heat from that hand burning his skin.

Dean looked up into dark eyes, his fingers running down Seth's chest and taut belly before coming to rest on a narrow hip. "What are you doing?" he asked, mouth dry, throat constricted. If he pinched himself, he was sure he'd wake up and seeing Seth like that, would be nothing more than another dream.

"This is what you want, isn't it?" Seth asked, leaning in to kiss Dean again, this time being evaded.

Dean looked at Seth incredulously. "I don't want just your body Seth," he growled, pushing the other man off of his lap. He stood from his spot and rubbed his face with one hand, the other sliding though his hair nervously. "I know I'm shit at saying these things, but this isn't what I want from you."

Seth sat there, a little surprised. "Then what do you want Dean?" he asked, clutching his shirt in his hands, the bitterness of rejection filling him. "Just use me like you use everyone else you bring home."

Dean growled, grabbing the nearest item, which happened to be a heavy glass ashtray, and threw it against the far wall, it shattering on impact. "You're not just some fuck to me Seth!" he yelled, huffing in anger. He opened his mouth, stopping when he saw the first tear roll down the bruised cheek. He bit his lip, knowing that at that moment, he was no better than Phil. "You should go home."

Seth nodded, running the back of his hand across his cheek, pulling his shirt on before hurrying out the door. He didn't even look back until he was a block away, his dark eyes falling on Dean's truck. He bit back a sigh, knowing he'd just fucked up things between him and Dean, and at that moment, he wasn't sure if there was any way of fixing it.

Dean stood with his eyes transfixed on the wooden door. His heart was pounding in his chest. He'd had the opportunity to say it. He'd been right there. Seth had been right in front of him and the chance was right there in the palm of his hand to get out his true feelings and he… he had completely fucked up and missed it. He groaned, Moxley brushing against his leg. "I fucked up bad Mox," he whimpered, sitting down on the couch, letting the white fluff ball sit in his lap.


Cody stood in front of the mirror, looking over himself one more time, making sure that he hadn't missed any stubborn stubble. He smirked, thinking he looked pretty damn fine and he felt a lot better. He hadn't seen Roman when he got home, but the text he'd gotten inviting him to dinner with Drew had put the bigger man off his mind. He strutted to his room, pulling out a nice pair of black slacks and a black and white button up shirt, that he casually left untucked with the first two buttons undone. He looked himself over, smiling at the results before walking out into the living room, toeing on his shoes.

It wasn't long before he heard the doorbell and him and Drew were off, both laughing and talking. The quick drive led them to a relatively nice restaurant that wasn't overly fancy but still nice.

Drew led Cody in, the smaller hand warm in his. He was almost sorry to let it go once they were seated. "So, I haven't talked to you much the last two days, what's been going on?" he asked, sipping at his water, his dark blue eyes refusing to leave the cheery face. "You seem happier."

Cody nodded, smiling. "I am. I don't want you to think any different of me though," he started, wanting to confide in Drew about what was going on.

"Why would I ever do that?" Drew asked, his curiosity strong.

Cody fiddled in his seat, a little uncomfortable. "I saw a therapist today about my memory," he started, the slightly surprised look on Drew's face doing nothing to comfort him. "I've been having some strange dreams and she thinks that they might be some memories that I just can't place."

Drew nodded, listening intently, trying hard not to show the growing anxiousness. He swallowed hard, knowing fully well that Cody might be on the edge of a break through. "So, your dreams, are they good?" he asked, more or less attempting to tease Cody.

Cody smiled, shrugging. "Depends on the dream. Some of them, I'm really happy in, other's I'm screaming. But there's always someone blurred out and I can't hear him. Like the one I had yesterday, I was wrapped in his arms watching fireworks. I've never felt so complete like I did. I just don't know if they're just dreams," he explained, playing with the edge of his cloth napkin.

Drew felt his heart pound. He took a gulp of his water, wondering how much longer he'd have to keep up his charade. He was trying to keep from getting hurt, knowing that just as soon as Cody had his memories back, that he would return to the other man's arms. "Well, if you need me, I'm here anytime," he murmured, looking down at the table, biting back the want to tell Cody that he was dreaming of the Samoan man.

Cody shuffled in his seat, looking down at his brace. "I know it's asking a lot, but please don't tell Roman. He's got enough going on. I don't want him to know about this," he asked, looking up meekly.

Drew nodded, unable to deny Cody's gentle question. He sighed, letting their conversation run over other topics all through dinner before both were back in his car, just driving around the bright city, taking in the lights and passing people.

"Hey Drew, you remember that place we used to go all the time when we first got together?" he asked suddenly, tightening his hand around Drew's. He earned a slow nod. "Let's go there again, for old time's sake."

Drew swallowed hard, taking the next right and leading them to the same little park they used to find themselves hanging out all the time. He pulled into the parking lot and turned the car off, the surrounding the same as they'd always been, a small playground that closed at dusk and the walking trail that led them through a small habitat protected wood, and a large flower garden. "Why are we here?"

Cody only got out of the car, motioning for Drew to follow him. "C'mon!" he called, running down the concrete path, over the short wooden bridge and into the woods. He looked back, Drew' trying hard to catch up, his long hair flying behind him, flapping from side to side in it's traditional tail.

Drew flew up, wrapping his arms around Cody once they stopped, both looking out into the field of flowers. "It hasn't changed at all," he murmured, the tall sunflowers swaying in the breeze, the other wild flowers around them perfuming the air as they swayed.

"I'm comfortable at home," Cody said, turning to Drew, his hands shaking in front of him. "I know it's only been a week or so, but I don't care about what else I'm missing out on. I'm happy right here with you and I don't want to waste this chance. Drew, I love you."

Drew felt his body grow hot, heart pounding. He'd hoped he would have a little more time or at least for some of Cody's memories to have come back. He looked down into the light blue orbs, pulling Cody into him. He closed his own eyes, the other man's hands fisting in the back of his black dress shirt. He wanted to say yes, and at that moment he couldn't think of any other way to stall. "I love you too," he murmured back, eyes closing as he pulled Cody in even closer.

Cody smiled, pulling back just enough to push up on his toes to kiss Drew gently. "Is that a yes?" he asked, his good hand moving up to touch the smooth cheek of the Scot. "Please say it's a yes Drew. I want to make you happy again."

Drew nodded, unable to speak. He'd gotten his second chance that he'd been hoping and praying for. It was right there in front of him, begging him even. He wasn't going to let Cody slip away again, even if it meant that in the end, he would be the one hurt. His lips crashed into Cody's, his tongue pushing into the hot mouth, tasting the sweet wine from dinner still on the other man's tongue. He wanted Cody, at least for a little longer, consequences be damned.


Cody felt like he floating when he opened the door, a broad goofy smile, one that was hard to remove, covering his lips. He dropped his shoes at the door, letting out a giggle, his lower lip bitten between his teeth. While him and Drew had only made out a little, it had felt amazing. He fell back on the couch, his legs bent over the arm, smiling brighter.

"A good night?" Roman asked, poking his head from around the corner where he'd been in the kitchen, making himself a snack. "What's with the goofy smile? What did Seth and you do all day?" He was feeling better from his awkward morning, the few hours of sleep he'd gotten after Cody left doing him a lot of good. "Cody?"

Cody turned his head, smiling at Roman, bringing his hands up to his face before tossing them back, completely unphased by the small shock of pain in his still fractured wrist. "He said yes," he breathed, the confused look on Roman's face only making his smile grow. "Drew. He's letting us try again. I'm really happy."

Roman's heart stopped in his chest, his curious look falling into shock. His jaw tightened, the glass saucer that had been in his hand falling and shattering against the floor. He didn't even flinch as a few shards slammed into his bare calf. "Oh," he murmured, hurt flooding him. He looked down at the shattered plate with his half eaten sandwich on the ground.

Cody sat up, looking down at the mess. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, getting up, taking a few steps closer.

"Just stay back!" Roman snapped, grabbing at the shards and gathering them up in his hands. "Don't come near me!" He felt a shard slice into his palm, but the pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling in his chest. He hurriedly cleaned up the mess before reaching for his keys and shoes, heading right to the door. He needed to get away. He couldn't be there with Cody. He just couldn't. He pulled the door open, ignoring Cody's worried calls as he got into his car and turned it on, the first tear rolling down his cheek as he pulled out of the driveway. He swallowed hard, choking back the pain as best as he could.

He reached into the pocket of his basketball shorts, looking for someone, anyone to talk to. His eyes landed on Jay's name and he bit his lower lip. He didn't want to see his family and he didn't want to see Dean or Seth. He pressed the call button, listening to the first few rings.

"Hello?"

"Jay, it's Roman, are you busy right now?"

There was a pause on the other line, the ruffling of clothes evident. "No, just sitting on the couch watching TV. What's up?"

Roman took a deep breath, another tear sliding freely down his cheek. "Can you meet me somewhere? Anywhere's fine. I just need someone to talk to," he admitted, the built up tears in his eyes blurring his vision. "If you can't I understand."

"Tell me where you want to meet up at, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Roman gave a soft, watery smile. "How about the boardwalk. There shouldn't be a lot of people."

"Be there in fifteen minutes."


Roman waited at the pier, his hands still shaking as they tightly held the railing. The waves were crashing against each other hard, a low rumbling of thunder in the distance. He groaned, resting his forehead on his hands.

"You look like shit," Jay said, walking up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "What the hell happened? I finally get a call and you're like this." He looked the other man over, suddenly worried. "Roman? Hey."

Roman looked up, face dry but inside a jumbled mess. "You were right, just like my cousins and friends. I fucked up telling Cody that we were just roommates," he murmured, dull grey eyes meeting the light brown ones. "When he woke up, he was missing everything between us and I wanted him to come back without having to worry about what we were or where we were going. I thought it would be easier but all he remembered was his ex. That son-of-a-bitch must not have had enough fun fucking me over three years ago."

Jay stood there silently, watching as Roman went on, dark hands running over the handsome face. He wanted to reach out and somehow comfort Roman, knowing that this had to be tearing him up even further than he was letting on.

"It's my own fault. I lied to him. I let it go on, hoping that he would just wake up and remember one day. It's my fucking fault that I lost him," he muttered, the once rising anger slowly starting to seep away. "If it were anyone else, I wouldn't be so angry, anyone but Drew." He sighed, looking back out at the water, able to see the rain in the distance as it crashed into the sea.

Jay rested a hand on a tattooed forearm, leaning in so that they weren't far apart. "Sounds like you need a drink, then you can tell me everything," he eased, smiling gently. "C'mon, I'll drive."

Roman looked over, really taking in the tired looking features. "Did I wake you up?" he asked, suddenly feeling ashamed of just dumping everything on Jay. "Shit, I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking. I just called the first person I knew that wouldn't do the 'I-told-you-so' shit. Do you have work tomorrow?"

Jay smiled, shaking his head. "I'm on vacation this week. C'mon, I'm glad you called, even if it is around midnight," he chuckled, hooking his and Roman's arm, leading him away to his car.


(A/N): Well, if the title doesn't say it all. So, a little bit on Seth and Punk's relationship. Believe me, we'll see a lot more of it soon. Dean and Seth are on the rocks, Cody and Drew are together. And poor Roman's heartbroken. *sadface*. And introducing Moxley the cat, whom I'm in love with. XD Well, thoughts? Let me hear them loves! Onwards and Upwards Title is Hell On The Heart by Eric Church.

JacktheSinister_JakethJust