CHAPTER 9- FACE OFF AGAINST BAHUMUT SIN

"Feel the fury of Yazoo, the Number One Fangirl Bait!" Yazoo cried. "But first, we need some music!" Yazoo snapped his fingers, and Three Days Grace played, the song being "Riot", which, by the way, is an excellent song.

And just then, those shadow hounds appeared once more, and began to attack the citizens. Loz laughed like an idiot as people pushed and hollered, trying to avoid those gnarly fangs of the hounds. Now, with those nameless, forgetable fools out of the way, Yazoo and Loz decided to do a little demolition project. They grabbed the chains that entangled the Midgar monument, and pulled. Weakly.

"Knock knock," said the pwnsome voice of Quinton Flynn. The two silver-haired brothers turned to stare at the Two Stooges, who'd just arrived for the party.

Yazoo rolled his eyes. "Who's there?" he asked softly, taking the bait on purpose. There was mass destruction to be completed, and the Turks were getting in the way.

Reno grinned. "Banana Phone!"

"?"

Reno frowned. "Wait, that didn't come out the right way..."

Rude shifted his feet in embaressment. "You've got to stop watching those Corner Gas reruns, Reno."

Loz laughed. "Ha, what's next, Turk? You gonna-- Um, err..."

But Loz didn't have time to finish his comeback, because-- well, he couldn't think of anything. Typical Loz.

"Well, if I had a gil for everytime I said something clever," started Reno. "I'd have 0 gil!"

Yazoo and Loz stared at him. "Did... Did you just insult yourself?" they both asked, puzzled.

"Ha! You're just jealous of my witty sarcasm!"

"....."

Meanwhile, Tifa was amidst the crowds, standing out like a pineapple in the kiwi section of a produce market. Seriously though; she's wearing full body BLACK, while the civilians are clad in BROWNs and GREYs. Well, I guess all of the heroes are wearing black these days. Sora, Zack, James Bond, Zack, Batman, Zack... Except Vincent, of course.

Tifa was there for some strange, random reason, completely forgetting about the danger her ward Denzel could be facing. Remember the lesson about responsible adults? Well, there you go!

Our big-chested gal just then spotted Denzel, looking like a zombie in the circle of other zombified children. She ran over to him.

"Wakey-wakey!" she shouted in his face, shaking him like a rag doll. Denzel ignored her. "GRRR!" She wanted to slap him across the way in such a violent matter that Square wouldn't be alllowed to sell this movie to its consumers. And Tifa also knew that she would lose meaningless brownie points with Cloud, so she restrained her notable useless force.

#

"We're up very high," commented Rufus Shinra, perched on the edge of a very tall contruction building. He then looked down nervosuly. "Err, Kadaj, you DO know that my wheelchair doesn't have breaks on them, right? Umm, heh heh..."

Kadaj smirked. "Don't worry, I won't kick you off."

"That smile of yours concerns me..."

Rufus then pulled out a copy of the Reviews from , which contained a complaint about him. "What are is this person talking about? The statue gets destroyed?! By this Bahumut SIN?! When did this happen?! Does this Bahumut SIN know how much it costed to put that hunk of medal in Edge?! 100 gil, out of Shin-Ra's pocket, which is MY pocket And now they're calling me a cheap prick?! AND WHAT DID THEY SAY I SPEND THE MONEY ON?! ME AND SCARLET?! EEEW, THESE PEOPLE HAVE SICK MINDS!"

"You're rambling, President." Kadaj interrupted.

Rufus coughed. "Of course, I get off track sometimes. But seriosuly, what's this Bahumut SIN?"

Kadaj grinned. He stretched out his arm into the sky. A mini-blast erupted from the interior marbles of materia within his arm, which caused pwnsome runes and circles --representing a summon-- to tattoo the sky. A large dragon flew materializing from the blue, and flew down to the town square. From close-up, it looked like something ripped off of Power Rangers.

"You didn't answer my question, Kadaj."

Kadaj scoffed angrily. "THAT's Bahumut SIN, you idiot! I just summoned it to wreak havoc!"

"...."

"......"

"........"

"..........."

".....Oh. Didn't notice it."

#

Bahumut SIN, like any other random, vicious beast, decided to attack Edge for no good reason. Awesome blue and orange flames sprayed out of his mouth, and destroyed the town square, making the Two Stooges, Yazoo the Fangirl Bait, and whiny Loz retreat. The flames somehow oddly resembled the final fight color scheme of Part I of the Naruto series, and the repetitive colors used to symbolized the manga's key characters. Well, this is what it reminded Haruko Kurimasu of, anyway. Of course, you're all too cool to read Naruto! Yeah, that's right, you're all lame! Mwahahahahaha!!!! And Tifa sucks! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

-Somewhere Within the Lifestream-

Angeal: "HK's gotta watch that mouth of hers. She's gonna be slaughtered by Tifa fans one day. -sigh-"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee. I don't mind--"

Angeal: "What?! Do you WANT HK to join us, Aerith?! Are you THAT insensitive?!?! You know, she's the one that writes the chapters that WE appear in!"

Aerith: "--her bashing Tifa."

Angeal: "....Oh. Well, then. -coughs into fist, embaressed-"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee."

Zack: "What the gil is going on down there?!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee. Hello, Zacky!"

Zack: "Hiya."

Angeal: "Where were you, Zack? And don't use that lame translation again!"

Zack: "I was trying to find Cloud, duh! But, everytime I thought I was getting close to him, my ghostly form rebounded back into the Lifestream!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee."

Angeal: "Aerith..."

Aerith: "Oh, don't be silly, Angy! I didn't have any part in that."

Angeal: "Your fingers better not be crossed again, woman."

Aerith: "Tee hee hee. Of course not!"

Angeal: "Then why are your hands behind your back?"

Aerith: "Umm... Oh, my! Looks like we're out of time for this segment! Goodnight folks, and Merry Christmas!"

Zack: "And a happy New Year! See you in 2009!"

Angeal: "W-Wait! We barely beg--!"

Zack: "Hmmm. Maybe we should say Happy Holidays instead, Aerith. Don't want to offend our non-Christian readers!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! Good idea, Zacky! Happy Holidays!"

Zack: "Happy Holidays!"

Angeal: "Don't you dare change the subject, Aerith! I swear--"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! Gotta go!"

Angeal: "What are you doing with that remote! Don't turn us o--"

CLICK!

To Be Continued!! And Happy Holidays!

Angeal: "We aren't finished, Aerith!"

Aerith: "Oh my! Tee hee hee!"

Zack: "?"

Hollander: "I'm wearing flip-flops!"