I am so, so sorry this is taking so long. I've been going through some bad stuff at work and it's completely taken over every conscious, waking, worrying minute. But as I was staring at my computer this evening, exhausted, this just tumbled out of me.
Thank you, all of you for reading this story, posting your thoughts, following and marking it in your favorites. The next chapter is going to be THE chapter and will be done by Saturday this week, goddammit. It's been sitting in my head for too long and is just demanding to be written.
Love!
Sona
Sophie looked up as the butler walked into the dining room.
"What is it, Thomas?"
"A note, Ma'am, from Mrs. Musgrove, confirming your visit this morning at nine at the White Hart."
"Thank you, Thomas", she said, clapping her hands with glee. "Could you arrange a carriage for me and Frederick to leave at eight-thirty? The weather looks rather foul for a walk."
"Certainly, Ma'am. I will go and rouse Captain Wentworth at once." Thomas said as he handed her the note.
Sophie sighed. "No need. He's been awake and dressed since six. I could hear him walking around his room all night."
Thomas smiled and took his leave.
"Sophie! When?", she heard Frederick shout as he ran down the stairs toward her.
"Eight-thirty.", Sophie said and watched him stomp his way to the breakfast table, drop into the chair in front of her and seize the note from her fingers.
"Another hour? But..", he said, his brows furrowed. Sophie had to laugh.
"Unfortunately Mrs. Musgrove has more pressing matters to attend to than help me plan accidental meetings, brother.", she said and pushed the oats and toast toward him.
"Now, have some breakfast, Frederick, you'll find it helps with making complete sentences." she teased.
Frederick's eyes narrowed as he spooned oats on his plate. "If only you knew of my oratory skills, dear sister. There is a reason I command a hundred men. If she refuses, I will merely order her to marry me.", he said
Sophie laughed. "Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. What if she still refuses?", she asked.
"Then I shall have her arrested for treason.", he said, smiling.
"In all seriousness, Frederick, have you planned what to say to her?"
At this he grimaced. "I tried to conjure up the right words. But each time I saw her face in my mind, all that spilled out of my mouth was this unearthly, low pitched whine."
Sophie's eyes widened. "Was that you? I thought that was Thomas's dog having nightmares, Frederick.", she said seriously, before bursting into giggles at the sight of his face.
"Well", he said, "I now know not to sing to her." His laugh echoed across the room.
"Oh, absolutely not. That torture is only admissible after you are married.", she said and smiled at the Admiral who joined them. "We were just discussing your singing, Admiral."
"Nonsense, Sophie, you love my singing." he said and winked at his brother-in-law as he took his seat.
"Now", he said and turned to Frederick. "What are you going to say to Miss Anne?"
Sophie laughed again as Frederick dropped his head in his arms.
Anne stared out the window. The rain was thundering down on the pebbled road and people outside were running to take shelter under canopies and inside open shops. She had promised Mrs. Musgrove that she would be at their rooms at the White Hart at nine. The clock in front of her struck forty minutes past nine as she stared at it in dismay.
Elizabeth had taken a carriage with Sir Walter to visit the Dalrymples this morning after Anne had happily ignored her sister's jabs at her about neglecting her duties. No amount of explaining about her commitment to the Musgroves would pacify her father or sister. In the end, she had merely shook her head, stood up and said "No Sir, I will not. I have a prior engagement that I intend to keep.", her own voice thundering in her wake as she walked away from the breakfast table and went to her room. Her father's shocked face still burned in front of her eyes.
She frowned as Helen rushed into the sitting room. "Lady Russell is here, Miss Anne."
Anne stood to welcome her friend as she walked in, shaking drops of water from her sleeve and handing her gloves and coat to Helen. Her brow was furrowed as she turned to look at Anne and pursed her lips, until they heard Helen close the door behind her as she left.
"Lady Russell, this is a surprise. I did not expect you here in such foul weather. Is everything alright?", she said as she sat next to her on the sofa.
The older woman frowned at her, tilted her head and took in Anne's appearance. Finally she spoke. "I had a rather surprising visit from Mr. Elliot this morning, Anne."
Anne grimaced. "Did you? What did he have to say?", she asked.
"He was very troubled. He told me how he asked you for your hand in marriage and how you refused him.", said Lady Russell, her frown deepening. "Is this true?"
Anne held her gaze. "Yes, it is."
She sighed as her godmother's mouth fell open. "Anne, why would you do such a thing?", she admonished her, barely containing her irritation. "He is exceedingly fond of your family, he will reside at Kellynch one day, he's well-educated and self-sufficient. Surely you must see the aptness of the match."
Anne stayed silent, her fingernails digging into her palm as she waited for her godmother to finish her tirade.
"You will step into your dear mother's shoes as mistress of Kellynch. Anybody capable of thought would have approved it.", Lady Russell continued.
"Oh, he's very charming", Anne said, the sarcasm dripping like honey from her voice. "But there is a reason my instinct tells me.."
"Instinct?", Lady Russell interrupted. "This is no time for instincts, look at the facts. The present Mr. Elliot is the only gentleman you're ever going to.."
"But what of the past Mr. Elliot?", said Anne, ignoring the jibe she had trod upon. "Why do you think his character has altered so completely? Why do we all know him so little?"
"You shall get to know him once you marry him.", Lady Russell said icily.
"That is not what I want!", said Anne, her voice rising despite herself.
Lady Russell opened her mouth to respond, but the anger blazing in her goddaughter's eyes made her stop. "Is there something you wish to tell me, Anne?"
Anne hesitated. She didn't need to defend her decision to refuse Mr. Elliot, but neither did she need to ruin his reputation among the only people in his new-found society. He was now harmless to her.
"No, there isn't.", she said, bowing her head.
Her godmother narrowed her eyes. "Before leaving, Mr. Elliot mentioned that he knew about your attentions being invested elsewhere.", she said cautiously.
Anne's face jerked up as she looked at the older woman. "What?", she said, her voice low, the pit of her stomach coiling tight.
Lady Russell hesitated. "He told me that he was aware of Captain Wentworth's interest in you, and it appears Elizabeth had told him of your past engagement to him. Mr. Elliot said clearly that he would still accept you, with your tainted reputation, for he loved you.", she said.
Anne felt something snap inside her. She wasn't used to sudden bursts of violence, but as the blood rushed to her eardrums and her mouth twisted of its own accord, she understood fully how Frederick must have felt every time Sir Walter dismissed his social standing, his family, his worth.
She stood up and paced around the room, ignoring Lady Russell's anxious face until she called out to her. "Anne, say something.", she said.
Anne turned to her. "Mr. Elliot's lifestyle is a sham. He lives on borrowed money. The only reason he seeks my attentions and professes to be in love with me is because he wants the title and the land. If you do not believe me, ask Mrs. Smith of Westgate Gardens. Her husband was Mr. Elliot's old friend and client. Mr. Elliot refused to do his duty when my friend was widowed and she is now poor and destitute.", she said, her voice calm despite the furor within her.
Lady Russell looked at the floor. Anne stared at her, only now comprehending what her godmother was asking of her.
"You knew.", she whispered.
"I had my suspicions, but you confirmed them.", she said.
Anne's mind reeled. "How can you still wish for me to marry him? After you know of his character, after he threatened to ruin my reputation?", she said, her voice a hoarse whisper.
"Oh Anne, don't be daft, he wasn't threatening you. He does not know the extent of the matter, but it is easy for anyone to see Captain Wentworth's interest in you. I am certain Mr. Elliot made that hasty comment in a fit of jealousy, no more. And once you are married, the Elliot name will help him establish himself, I assure you. He does not have the best character, but he does wish to marry you. He will be devoted to you.", she said, her voice desperate.
Anne stared at the older woman, surprised to see tears in her eyes. "Lady Russell", she said and sat next to her godmother, her eyes gleaming. "I'm not going to marry Mr. Elliot. If I may be impertinent, I will say that I will not make the same mistake my mother made. You once convinced me that there would be more suitors, men who could make me happy. Let me convince you now, I am happy as I am and I do not need a husband to establish my worth in society. Especially one that I do not trust and certainly do not admire."
Her godmother sniffed as Anne held her hands in her own. To her credit, she did not disagree with Anne about Mr. Elliot. Her mouth trembled and she wiped away her tears quickly. "Nonsense. You cannot be unmarried forever. You deserve bliss, child, and nothing less.", she said.
Anne shook her head. This was futile. "Let us admit that our interpretations of bliss are radically different, Lady Russell.", she said and laughed.
Lady Russell looked curiously at her, holding her cheek in her palm. There is a will in you I have never seen before. "Do you wish to marry Captain Wentworth, Anne?", she asked.
Anne's smile brightened as she was reminded of her thoughts last evening. Her answer thundered in her heart and she knew it to be true, and yet it terrified her to no end to admit it to the world. It was as if someone might trample over her dreams the moment they knew of her deepest desires. It was better to be kept hidden away inside of her, until no-one suspected it, not even her own shadow.
She looked away from Lady Russell's face and her eyes widened as she spied the clock behind her. "It is ten thirty!", she cried as she stood up on her feet with a jolt. "Pardon me, Lady Russell, I promised Mrs. Musgrove that I would see her this morning at nine. I can walk there, now that the weather has eased."
Her godmother stared at Anne's departing form as she put on one sleeve of her coat, grabbed her umbrella and rushed out of the house. She was still smiling.
