Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The show had started promptly at 9, the cheers of the crowd echoed like a dull roar through the cavernous backstage area. Lita's match was the third one in, after HBK finished cutting his promo out in the ring. She and Edge had been waiting to make their entrance, Bischoff had approached them, telling Lita with a stupid smirk that her return hadn't been advertised, and none of the fans would be aware that she was wrestling tonight. Which meant that when she stepped out to the ring, nobody would be expecting it. Oh sure, there had been rumors, she'd looked them up herself a few days ago. People generally thought that she'd be returning to do what she'd been doing before: nothing.

Her ring entrance had been typical: Edge's music blared as they stepped out onto the platform. Edge had kissed her briefly, but she hadn't let him go on too long. They headed to the ring, Edge letting go of her long enough for her to climb into the ring alone. Then the crowd had stared chanting, "Slut Slut Slut!" It started gradually, then grew in intensity so it almost seemed like the entire crowd had joined in. Lita felt her face burn with embracement. It had lasted for several long moments before Torrie's music hit. The crowd had been distracted enough to stop chanting as the blonde diva and her little white dog came to the ring, Torrie pausing briefly to pass the dog to Lillian to hold. Lita's pulse had pound with excitement, overjoyed to be back in the ring, actually competing.

As she'd anticipated, she'd won with very little effort. Torrie had never been extremely talented in the ring. Lita managed to get Torrie's flimsy pink top off after a series of brutal chops to the chest. She'd stupidly allowed herself to get distracted as the crowd resumed their "Slut" chants. She waited a moment to long before scaling the turnbuckles, preparing to hit a moonsault on Torrie when she realized her opponent wasn't laid out on the mat any longer. She barely had time to react when Torrie lunged at her, knocking her off the turnbuckle, sending her crashing to the floor. She hit the ground feet first, sending a horrible shock of pain up through her legs to her hips. The pain was overwhelming as she crumpled to the floor. Torrie then took advantage of Lita's fall, diving to the floor and quickly wrenching Lita's pants off, twirling them in the air triumphantly. Thankfully Torrie celebrated a bit too long, allowing Lita to recover somewhat.

The blonde Diva's horrified scream had startled Lita, who had been in the process of sneaking up on her with the intention of a Twist of Fate. Edge, who had been watching silently for most of the match, had made his move, seizing Torrie's little white dog from Lillian. She'd begun pleading with Edge to give her back the dog when Edge winked at Lita over her shoulder. Inwardly, Lita was angry for his interference, pissed that he wouldn't let her win this on her own. But as she hit the Twist of Fate on an unsuspecting Torrie, she thought, a win is a win. The blonde diva was stunned long enough to give Lita the time to rip her pants off. The crowd began booing immediately, interspersed with the "Slut" chant. As Edge's music once again rang out, he swept her up in a hug before raising her hand in victory. Lita burned inside, angry that he couldn't leave her the hell alone to do anything. They had headed backstage, where Edge had quickly abandoned her to hang out with Y2J. She spent the rest of the show tucked away in one of the corridors, perched on an empty table, her Ipod plugged firmly into her ears. She had impatiently waited for the show to end, trying to ignore the turmoil building inside as her meeting with Kane drew closer.

Everyone had cleared out of the arena pretty fast, leaving the crew to take down the stage and the arena staff to clean up. In the hallway she could hear some of the other wrestlers calling each other goodnight as she headed into the empty Women's Locker Room. Everyone had left a while ago, but the mirrors were still steamy from the showers. Lita sat down on one of the benches, grimacing as she felt stabs of pain crawl up her legs and settle in her hips. She hadn't meant to land on the floor feet first, but she'd been unable to change her position as she fell. She hadn't expected Torrie to push her off the ropes, but she chalked that up to her still getting used to competition. The pain now was like most injuries; she ignored it for the time being, hoping it would work itself out in a day or two.

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a hair tie and swept her sweaty hair into a loose pony tail. She had no idea if Kane was going to come, she had a sneaking suspicion that he was getting fed up with her and might call the whole thing off. She tried to fool herself into thinking she wasn't here waiting for him, no, she was just here for a shower. She was busy unlacing her boots when the door slowly creaked open. The shriek of metal hinges moving sent a shiver of excitement up her spine. Lita didn't have to look up to see who it was who stepped into the room. The door settled closed behind him as he stood silently, watching her back as she finished unlacing her boots.

He stepped forward, the sound of his heavy footsteps echoing in the empty room. Her heart started to beat faster as she turned to see him standing about four feet away from her, watching her with curious eyes. "I-I, uh, wasn't sure if you would come," she said, lamely struggling for something to break the silence. A slight grin passed over his face as he sat down on one of the benches so she wouldn't have to stare up at him. "I. . . I was pretty surprised that on your big return to the ring you wouldn't use your own music," he said neutrally, as if he was just making a passing comment. Before she really thought about what she was saying, she quipped, "So was I. . ." Inwardly she groaned at her careless words. The last thing in the world she needed was to broadcast that she wasn't deliriously happy with Edge anymore. She saw his surprise in his face for just a moment before it passed into neutrality again.

"You did very well out there," he said as Lita moved to the bench across him to remove her knee brace. She rolled up her pant leg enough to uncover it and propped her foot on the bench while she removed the various straps and tabs that held it in place. As she pulled the contraption of hard plastic and metal from her knee, the tingling pain surged into a sharp stab directly into the back of her knee and quickly shot up through her legs to her hips. On instinct, she tried to hide the pain, only allowing a low groan of pain to escape her clenched lips. She tentatively put some weight on the aching joint, and found her stupidity rewarded by another sharp stab, stronger than the first. Moving faster than she ever expected, Kane vaulted to his feet and quickly grabbed her shoulders to steady her. "What happened?" he asked as Lita allowed him to support her weight. "Bad landing," she moaned as she slowly raised her leg, hissing at the pain the slight movement caused. She eventually got the leg high enough she could reach behind her knee to massage the area, feeling for any swelling or other obvious injuries.

"Do you want me to get you the trainer?" he asked warily, not sure of the extent of her injuries. Stubbornly she shook her head no. The last thing she needed was to be seen heading to the trainer with an injury her first week back. "What hurts?" he asked, his hands leaving her shoulders to rest on her waist. Lita suppressed the shiver of delight at his touch and said, "I fucked up the landing when Torrie kicked me off the ropes. I took it all wrong. It's like stabbing shots in my damn knee and up to my hips," she muttered. Kane's hands dipped lower, moving to her hips now. She held her breath in anticipation as his fingers gently dug into the sensitive area where the painful joints were.

"Here?" he asked softly, his lips down next to her ear as he brought his head to rest gently by hers. Mmm-hmm, she moaned as his fingers dug deeper into the protesting muscles, slowly and deliberately working the pain out. Lita couldn't help but allow herself to fall back against Kane's massive chest as his hands helped ease the stabbing pains. After a few glorious minutes, the pain had subsided enough to allow an altogether different sensation take over. Warmth flowed over her, making her feel light, dizzy, delirious. . . It was almost like being drunk. She tossed her head back, allowing it to rest against his chest.

His hands gradually slid from her hips, trailing over her lower back, across her waist to her exposed stomach which he gently ran his fingers over, eliciting a hiss of delight from Lita. The pulse that beat heavily in her chest spread through her body, settling low in her abdomen. Behind her she could feel the heaviness of his breath on her neck as he dipped his head to press a timid kiss to the soft skin there. Lita remembered the awful look of hurt on his face when she refused him earlier and made sure to drop her head, encouraging him to continue. He quickly obliged her, pressing hot kisses along her neck, up to her jaw. Lita couldn't contain her gasp of excitement as his hands quickly reached up to the zipper that held her shirt together and pulled it down enough so his lips could reach the skin on her along her collarbone and shoulders.

She could barely think, the sensation of his lips on her skin had taken over. Every time he touched her, she surrendered, becoming completely vulnerable to him. It was unlike anything she'd experienced before; discovering how easily he could manipulate her. It was dangerous, the way he could control her so easily. The feel of his lips on her body was the worst; he made her want to let him continue, no matter how far it lead them. She broke away from him long enough to turn in his arms til she was pressed tightly against his chest. She gazed up into his eyes and felt her pulse double at seeing the fire burning there. She saw him bend down, his intentions clear; he was going to kiss her, and she was going to let him. She could barely breathe as he paused just an inch away, allowing himself to savor the sensation of holding her again.

And then the worst possible thing she could have ever expected.

From somewhere inside her bag, the song Metalingus burst from her cell phone. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she watched Kane's demeanor change instantly. The warmth that had been radiating from his body went away immediately, replaced with brutal coldness. He pulled away from her and Lita choked back angry tears at he looked at her, accusing, angry. "Aren't you going to get that?" he growled. She wanted to whither under his awful gaze, his awful coldness seeping into her heart. She quickly turned around and fumbled in her bag for her phone; anything to escape from his awful gaze. She tried to ignore the tremor in her hands as she flipped the phone open and brought it to her ear. "Hello?" she whispered softly.

"Hey babe," Edge's voice called out, loud enough that she was sure Kane could hear it. "Are you almost ready?" he asked. "Uh, sure. I'll be out in a few minutes," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral, even as she felt Kane's eyes boring into her back. "Well, hurry up. I'm in the parking lot." With a click the line went dead, and Lita closed the phone. For a long moment, she stood clutching the device, unable to make herself turn around to face him.

"I never meant this to happen. . ." he sighed, surprising Lita. She turned to him as he lowered his huge frame onto a bench. He looked at her, his face pained. "I never meant to get close to you again. You fought hard for your freedom. I got over that. It didn't change how I felt. . ." Lita bit her lip, her mind desperately fumbling for something to say to him. Somehow, she felt saying Edge is waiting for her, would be the last straw for this delicate connection. Lita, startled by his out of character confession, limped over to sit beside him on the bench. She saw him flinch when she reached out to bring his large hand to rest on her lap. She knew she didn't deserve to be trusted, but seeing it actually reflected in front of her hurt. She entwined his fingers with his, as the two sat in silence, both dreading the moment she'd have to leave for Edge.

She looked up at him, catching his mismatched eyes as he stared down at her. Silently he pleaded with her with those eyes. That look spoke more clearly than words to Lita. Silently he begged, Please give me something. Tell me I'm not your emotional plaything. . . The pain in his eyes, like her ill-reputable past, haunted her. Under his pleading gaze she suddenly cried out, "What are we doing?" She let go of his hand and stood, wincing only slightly at the pain in her legs. "None of this makes any sense. I'm with Edge, I'm the Rated R Diva. We're not supposed to have anything to do with each other anymore. You're supposed to be maiming and destroying in the ring, and I'm supposed to be happy with Edge. But I'm not! And I look at you and think I'd be happier. . ." As soon as those words left her lips, the burn of tears hit the back of her throat, cutting off the rest of the sentence. Her own confession started herself. She thought about the implications of actually admitting to herself and to Kane that she wasn't happy anymore. Far worse, not even she was capable of admitting she would be happier with someone other than Edge.

Lita was still coming to grips with what she had started to say when Kane released her hand. "You need to go," he said stiffly. Lita's mouth opened to protest, but he cut her off. "You've got much more important things to worry about then me. I want you to concentrate. I want you to win. If that means I don't get to see you, then it's worth it." The finality in his tone both excited and crushed her. She was glad to hear from someone other than Edge that she had their support. But she wasn't ready to cut Kane out of her life again when he seemed to be the only one she could really turn to. "How did this happen to us?" she asked, trying to hold back the burning tears in her eyes. "It's just weakness. You were hurt and alone. You reached for the first familiar thing you saw. That just happened to be me," he said, an ironic smile on his face.

His words hurt her, probably more than he intended. Her shock must have registered on her face, because Kane immediately apologized. "Please don't misunderstand," he said, using the tips of his fingers to tilt her face to his. "I didn't mean to be so harsh. I love every moment I have with you." As his face inched closer to hers, Lita found it increasingly difficult to breathe. Her body tingled like it was on fire as Kane pressed the softest kiss possible to her lips. Her heart clutched at the contact, fearful, yet dying for more. He rose suddenly crossing the room to retrieve her bag. As he offered it to her, she resigned herself to her fate. "Edge is waiting," Kane said, his face solemn, but his eyes burned with emotion. She took the bag from his outstretched hand and silently watched him go. The emotions swirled around her head, putting her in a tumultuous fog. They threatened to overwhelm her if she didn't concentrate on something other than how she felt.

As quickly as she could she pulled on some shoes and left the locker room, winding a path through the dark and empty arena out to the performer's parking lot. She shoved the heavy metal door open and couldn't help her gasp of shock as the cold night air hit her briskly on her face. She clutched her hoodie tighter around her body as she headed over to where Edge was parked in his SUV, waiting for her. Even though she was about a hundred feet away, she could already hear the blast of rock music from the vehicle. The moment before she reached to open the door, she took a deep breath to help calm her nerves. She hadn't imagined feeling guilty for being with Edge ever again, and the sensation was deeply disturbing.

When he spotted her, he immediately turned down the music as she climbed in, wincing only slightly from the pain in her legs. She tossed her bag in back and had fastened her seatbelt when she realized that Edge was distracted, his gaze focused intently out in the distance. "Hello?" she asked, trying to figure out what he was looking at. She sensed the tension coming off him, and it disturbed her. "What the hell are you looking at?" she demanded, becoming fearful of Edge's silence. "Isn't that Kane's SUV?" he growled. With horror Lita realized that he was staring at Kane's SUV parked a little ways off, the last one in the performer's lot. Lita's pulse pounded as she tried to play cool. "I guess. . . Can we go?" He turned to look at her, and incredulous look on his face. "You guess? You guess that your ex-husband, the guy who took over your life and terrorized us for months? You didn't see him in there? He wasn't following you around, trying to kidnap you?"

Like an old pro, Lita played off his fears, comforting his suspicions. "No, Edge. I didn't see him. I was in the Women's Locker room. Besides, it is a pretty big arena. He probably didn't even know I was still there." Edge glanced out the window again before looking back to her. He let out a small laugh and said, "You're right babe. He's probably off somewhere torturing puppies or something." Lita rolled her eyes in disgust, while inwardly she let out a huge sigh of relief. He sped them out of the parking lot and to their hotel nearby. When they arrived, Edge took her bag for her, slinging his arm over her shoulders. As they rode up the elevator to their room, he told her, "I'm very proud of you babe. You did really well tonight." She smiled weakly as he opened their room. She immediately went for the bed, which was freshly made and cool from the night air.

Lita rolled her head back against the cool pillow and closed her eyes against the harsh light from the bedside lamp. Edge tossed his bag down on the floor beside her and headed to the bathroom. Lita rolled over onto her stomach, savoring the feel of the cool comforter on her skin as Edge washed up and changed his clothes. He emerged a few moments later and sat down on the bed beside her. As the bed shifted with his weight, Lita opened her eyes to look at him. He reached down to run a hand through her hair as he asked, "Are you alright babe? You look like you don't feel well." Lita hesitated only a moment before she said, "I feel nauseous. My stomach really hurts." Edge gave a sympathetic moan and leaned over to gently kiss her cheek. "Well, I suppose you won't want to come out with Chris and the guys then?" Lita shook her head and said weakly "I don't think gallons of beer and loud music is going to help much." "Are you sure," he asked softly, burying his nose in her hair. "I just want to rest," she said, turning her head so she could look at him. In his eyes she saw that disappointed look before he got off the bed. "Fine," he huffed, "we'll be back pretty late."

She nodded her head as she watched him pick up his leather jacket and room key. Lita turned her head away, so she wouldn't have to watch him go. She heard him pull the door open, and then the small smack of something hitting the bed. The door had snapped closed behind him as she sat up to see what he'd thrown at her. Lying near her hips was a small pink bottle of pills. She couldn't help but smile at how thoughtful he was.

Part of her felt pretty sleazy for lying to Edge, but his oppressive companionship was stifling her. Like a cat she slunk out of bed, grabbing her laptop from it's bag by the bed. As it booted up, she carried it to the bed and lay back down, her mind restless with the events of the day.

The match had been easy enough, things would only get progressively harder from there. She knew that every match was winnable, if she was careful and didn't make foolish mistakes. Edge's interference tonight bothered her to no end; she did not need people saying her success was due to Edge's help. Shawn was right, Edge was seriously going to fuck this up for her if she didn't do something about it. But the hole she'd dug herself was too deep. After joining up with Edge, she'd lost a lot of fans and a lot of supporters in the locker room. She barely had anyone she could talk to anymore except Edge and his close friends. Not that she'd ever been really close friends with any of the Divas, but she had no one she could talk to, even to complain about the way Edge snored or left the toilet seat up. Deep in her chest she felt the pull of longing she despised. That, on top of all her other frustrations succeeded in eliciting an exasperated "Son of a bitch," from Lita. Resigning herself to her fate she grabbed the small black box from her bag and took it, and the computer, out to the balcony of her room. She ignored the cold in the air as she sat down onto one of the plastic chairs and propped her feet up on the plastic table.

From the small box she withdrew the single remaining cigarette and lit it. The strong smell of the cloves filled her senses, helping to soothe her nerves. She smoked the cigarette slowly, taking in the huge hotel complex. Shaped in a huge U shape, she watched the lights go on and off in the rooms across from her and the people swimming in the pool below her. She took joy in the cigarette, fully intending it to be her last for a long while. As Lucas constantly reminded her, it was a bad habit. Her dislike for regular cigarettes helped to ensure that she wouldn't be tempted after this pack was gone. Eventually she finished the cigarette and opened her laptop. She spent a few minutes fooling around online, checking her email and such. After a few idle minutes she went into Youtube. The plethora of fan tribute videos devoted to her always helped make her feel better. She watched some of her favorites, suddenly feeling almost sick with longing for the old days. She snapped the computer shut, hurriedly brushing the tears from her eyes. Why did everything have to get so fucking complex? When did the damn storylines mean more that pure competition? She sat the computer down on the table, drawing her knees up to her chest and wishing to God she had another cigarette.

She hated how she couldn't simply be Lita anymore. It was always "Edge and Lita" or "The Rated R Couple." God forbid she wear her old logo or use the music written for her again. . . She cast her eyes downward, staring off into space. One floor and one room over, Lita saw a sliding glass door open as someone stepped out onto the balcony. She rested her chin on her knee, watching the man walk to the edge of the railing to peer over, as she had done. After a pensive moment the man finally turned around, and Lita couldn't help her cry of "Oh God!" Immediately after the words left her, she slapped her hand over her mouth in shock. She hadn't expected her words to be that loud, or for the man to hear her. Lita's heart began to pound as below her, the man's head slowly rotated up to where she was perched.

She watched a slow grin spread over Kane's face, sending chills down her spine. The wind brought the sound of his laughter up to her, and she cringed with embarrassment. He walked to the edge of his balcony closest to hers and looked up to where she sat. Lita lowered her legs, trying to appear as if she wasn't shocked to see him. He called up something to her, but the words were swept up by the wind. Lita's first instinct was to grab her computer and pretend she hadn't noticed him, but she thought the better of it. The lousy feeling in her chest over the way she'd been treating him was still fresh in her mind. She wasn't a cruel person, and her recent actions even confused her.

Down below he seemed to get the fact she couldn't hear him as he sat down in a plastic chair identical to hers. Lita couldn't help but watch him as he looked out over the sparkling lights of the city as she had done. Together they shared the same vista, Lita taking comfort in knowing that a friend was nearby, even as Edge was who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. He glanced back up at her again, catching her eyes with his. She watched him and was crushed by the horrible sadness that came with knowing that all she wanted in the world right now was only a few feet away, but condemned to be always out of her reach.

Down below, Kane was crushed as he watched tears roll down her cheeks. She hurriedly wiped them away, trying to keep up her strong front. She glanced down at him one last time with such horrible sadness in her face before she quickly got up and went back into her hotel room. Kane continued to stare up at the empty balcony, trying to force the image of Lita's tears from his mind. He'd done nothing but hurt her today, and it killed him. Even when he kissed her, he could taste the sadness in her lips. He turned to go back inside his own room before he glanced back and whispered into the cold night, "Goodnight Lita."