Disclaimer: I own nothing.
– – –
"I can't believe this semester is almost over." Karen was reviewing her calendar. "It just flew by."
"It's a blessing." Lori worked on her third period homework. "And Carol's about to bust."
"I'm surprised you even noticed I existed," Carol muttered under her breath.
"What was that?" Lori lifted her head. "Did you say something?"
"Nope." Carol closed her wellness book. "I'm gonna head to the parking lot."
"I'm not ready to go just yet." Karen crossed a date out. "And you're not waiting in the cold."
She groaned. "It's Thanksgiving break starting today, and we're wasting precious time here. Here! At school! I should be at home in my jammies, eating pasta on mashed potatoes." God, it sounded like heaven.
"I should be at Rick's doing this homework," Lori stated. "Actually, I shouldn't be doing homework at all. Thanks a lot, Greene!"
Karen lifted her eyes. "It's extra credit."
"Still. I didn't ask for it."
"You need to bring your average up."
"I'm doing it. I'm writing. I'm cutting into precious vacation time, and my soul is dying because of that, but I'm doing it."
"If you get it done now, we'll throw that book in your locker and be done with it."
"That's true." She straightened up and focused on the essay questions.
"By the way," Karen shifted her gaze to her other daughter, "since your appointment is next week, do you want to invite Daryl?"
"Ummm, I don't know." She did know. It was no. She didn't want to invite him. "I'll let you know when I sort it out."
"All right, but you only have a few more left before he's here."
"And you don't even have a name picked out yet," Lori tossed in.
"Daryl and I will talk about that on Thanksgiving, all right? It's our decision."
"Keep us informed at least. I'd like to know if I should make banners for the shower. I don't like the name Tony or Brian, okay?"
"Your opinion doesn't matter," Carol politely informed her. And you've been ditching me and our friends for weeks now, so fuck off. "I'll name my son what feels right."
"Tony Dixon sounds awful, just throwing that out there."
"We haven't decided on last names either."
"Of course it'll be Dixon," Karen remarked. "It's his son."
"He's my son too." Carol felt offended. "And I might name him Callies, like me."
"All right. Fair points. I'll let you two decide, just don't name him something random, or a spice. I refuse to call my grandbaby Sage. Or Chutney."
"I kind of like Sage," Lori uttered.
"I do too now that I said that." She shut down her computer. "All right, let's go home. I'm sick of staring at this screen."
"Wait, wait. I'm almost done with the last question."
They waited for Lori to finish up her homework then drove home. Lori instantly called Rick to see if he had any plans for their long weekend, and Carol readied a bath. Karen was on the phone with Tyreese, discussing the hell that would become their house on Thanksgiving, and she was glad to have someone to vent. He was seriously the best.
This half of the school year was almost gone. She was going on seven months pregnant. Her grandparents were about to find out about her baby and Daryl. She was going to be in the final trimester of her pregnancy and would soon give birth to her son. She didn't have anything she needed. She had money saved from the summer, but she hadn't actually gone out to look for things. She had to resist, because she wanted to buy every cute little thing she saw, and she would basically end up with a room filled to the brim with clothes he'd likely outgrow in a week. So she was waiting on that. She had a shopping list of all the things she needed. She just...didn't know if Daryl was going to help her buy some, or what his plans were. They needed to talk about it. Seriously.
They hadn't even chosen a name for the baby yet. Carol looked at her belly and hummed softly. "What are we going to name you?" She didn't want to name him after any food or spice. She wanted it to special, to have meaning. She just didn't know what kind of name held meaning. She wasn't good at naming things, mostly school projects that sounded like a ten-year-old's bad pun, and she highly doubted Daryl had any good names. He didn't even want kids. She did, and she had no flipping clue what she wanted to name this bundle of life currently pressing against her bladder.
"You know," she grumbled, going over to the toilet, "keep it up, and I'll only buy you bladder toys. See how much you like it then."
She rested her forehead in her palm and closed her eyes. She wasn't ready to think about labor. She still hadn't properly apologized to her mom about their fight at the ice cream shop. She didn't want to mention it, because of what Lori told her. And speaking of that, Lori and she hadn't talked about their argument either. She was getting really rude and forgetful lately. Geesh. She needed to talk to them. They were busy tonight, so she would do it tomorrow. They would be beginning Thanksgiving prep, so it'd be a good time. Dad would be at work and buying any last minute items—whiskey—and Mom would be calling up her side of the family for old recipes she forgot but really wanted to make, and Lori would likely have Rick on the phone all day, not really helping.
"Number one or number two?" called a voice from the other side of the door.
Carol wanted to lock the door. "One."
"Cool." Lori opened the door and walked in. "I need to talk to you."
"What about?" Carol raised her head to look at her sister.
"So, I've pretty much been dating Rick for almost five months," she explained. "And I really care about him. He's...so adorable and sweet, and we really click. I mean...there are some moments where he just doesn't talk, but I think he'll grow out of it."
"Maybe." She still didn't know Rick very well.
"Well, I've talked to Mom recently about birth control," she blurted. "I want to be with Rick in every way, and I'm ready. I just wanted to talk to you about it. I mean, you had sex first, and I want your opinion, because you're my sister, and you know me better than anybody."
Her jaw nearly hit the floor. "You're asking me about sex? While I'm on the toilet?"
"I can wait until you're done. I wanted to get it out there."
"I just want to take a bath and relax. My feet hurt, my back is killing me, and the cause of this was sex."
"Unprotected sex," Lori corrected. "I intend to use birth control and condoms. I'm not stupid."
"And I was?"
"You were...overwhelmed. Daryl was your first everything, and I don't blame you. I think it was just how things were meant to be for you."
"What does that mean?"
"Come on, you've changed big time. It's all good, though. You still have a lot to work through, but once the baby's here, you'll be ready for it." She smiled at her. "You really have started to bloom since the whole pregnancy."
She blinked. "I don't...even know what to say to that."
"Just take your bath. I'll make some tea in a bit, and we'll talk. I got some really good lemon tea, and it'll make you so relaxed your back pain won't exist anymore."
"I hope so."
"It will, and I kind of owe it to you. You getting pregnant has made my life a little easier." She laced her fingers together. "I mean, all expectations have dropped really. Mom is already booking an appointment to get me on birth control, and I'm pretty sure Dad just went to buy me condoms." She gave a laugh.
"So my getting pregnant has made a path for you to have sex?"
"No. I mean, yes, but no. It's made a path for me to explore things with Rick and with myself." She moved hair out of face. "It made me realize no matter how much I love Rick and how...intense things between us get, I want to do more in the future. I want to find myself before I settle down and have babies and a husband. I'm focused. I don't want to make any mistakes and end up...trapped here."
"And I'm trapped here?" Carol frowned.
"Well...I don't know. I can't say if you are or aren't. You have a lot of drive, and you're really smart. I know you'll do whatever you put your mind to, but you'll have a baby and Daryl in tow for the rest of your life. You know how restraining that's going to be, right? I mean, you knew that before I said anything."
"Daryl and I aren't together. I'm not tied to him."
"Well, through the baby you will be. I mean, he's Daddy Daryl now, and he'll want to be close to his son. If you move out of state or he moves out of state, custody might become a challenge, and I know you want to leave Georgia one day, so you might want to keep that mind."
"He wouldn't try and take our son away from me."
"Courts tend to favor the mother," Lori nodded. "And I don't know Daryl, so I can't agree or disagree with you, but um, if you feel he won't then...sure."
"Look, I just want my nice, quiet bath. I don't want anymore company, so please, just let me bathe."
"All right. I'll wait for you after to talk."
Carol groaned when Lori closed the door on her way out and wished she could toss her into a box and ship Lori very far away. She didn't need those thoughts in her head. She didn't need that pressure. She knew Daryl was graduating next school year and heading out to college, but she didn't think he'd take the baby with him. She still had two more years of school left, and her son would be with her. Daryl could come and visit or take him for a weekend or something, but that was all for now. They would work out the other stuff at a later date—like when baby boy was born and all that good, traumatic stuff. She would talk to Daryl about it and nursery stuff and...all of that! Ugh, Lori!
She flushed the toilet and removed her clothes, grumbling to herself about her rude, insensitive sister, and she slipped into her bath to forget she had a sister for the half hour.
––
True to her word, Lori was waiting for Carol in her bedroom with two lukewarm cups of tea. Carol had let her annoyance over her sister out in her bath, and she changed into her favorite long-sleeved baseball tee and stretchy pants, diving under her blankets to keep the warmth the bath had given her. She felt so relaxed and comfortable, and she was ready to deal with Lori's issues.
"So," Carol wrapped her hands around her cup, "you want to have sex with Rick? Why?"
"Because I love him, and like I said, I want to share myself with him in this way." She was blushing somewhat. "He means a lot to me."
"Okay." Carol studied her. "Is that enough?"
"What do you mean, is that enough? What else could there be?"
"I don't know. I've only done it once, and I didn't care for it."
"Only because you got knocked up."
"Yes, I got pregnant. You've established that." She met her eyes. "And I didn't like it for an entirely different reason, Lori."
She lowered her eyes. "Why didn't you like it?"
"Because I didn't know Daryl. I didn't love him. Yes, the sex was great. Amazing even, but I didn't feel that great about it afterward. I tried to not let it bother me and moved on with my summer, but it didn't sit right with me for a long time." She sighed softly then smiled gently. "It does now, because I'm getting close to Daryl, and I consider him to be a friend."
"What do you think of it now then?"
She rolled her eyes upward then to the side. "I think back on it fondly."
"Oh, come on, Grandma. You can't call it amazing then change it to fond." She lightly hit her knee. "Give me some details. We never talked about it."
"What is there to even talk about?" Carol was blushing now.
"Who made the first move? Like, how did it go down?"
"Umm...it just happened."
"Please," she clicked her tongue, "it did not just happen."
"It kinda did. I mean, we were making out on the couch then...um, we just went upstairs." She cleared her throat, blushing a bit more. "We found the master suite, and Daryl closed and locked the door."
"Smart."
He held her hand the entire time. His hands were so warm and firm, and she trusted him completely. His body was following her lead, and he was in no way intimidating. He was attentive and sweet. "He led me to the bed, and it happened."
"Did you have an orgasm?" Lori scooted closer to her. "I mean, he's been around the block a couple times, so he has to be decent. I've heard some girls talk about how he was."
"It was a—"
"Don't try and skim on details." She smirked. "It's a yes or no question."
"It was uncomfortable," Carol blurted. "Honestly, I wasn't sure what I was doing, and I felt embarrassed, but he made it better. He didn't say anything to me directly, but...he would hold me in a certain way and guide my hips so it felt better for both of us. And yes, I did come. It...was intense." And it seemed to feed Daryl in some weird way, like knowing he'd gotten her to that point had aroused him even further. He was almost memorized by her, and for a moment she'd forgotten she didn't know him or love him, and she was just...lost in the feeling of it all.
"Intense how?"
"With the physical feel of it and...I don't know. It was, like, mental too. It was so overwhelming and wonderful and...memorable. I'll never forget any detail of what happened. Especially when the evidence is under my shirt." She stroked her belly.
"Don't ever be ashamed of what went down between you two." Lori searched her eyes. "You and Daryl are becoming friends, like you said, and sex isn't something to be ashamed of."
"It isn't something to be rushed into blindly either." She met her eyes. "I know you love Rick, and I know it feels right, but I think you oughta wait. It really is a massive step in your relationship and with yourself. I still regret not stopping, but I'm coming to terms with that. It's hard not to when you love the aftermath as much as I do."
Lori nodded. "I love him too. And you. And I'm sorry for blowing you off like I have been. It's nothing you've done. I just need...to be a normal teenager sometimes. I know you don't have that option, and it might seem selfish, but I need to get away from it all now and then. It's the only way I can keep my sanity through all this."
"I know what you mean, and I do wish I could escape. Not my pregnancy, because I wouldn't wish my baby away, but my body. I wish I could float away for a day or a couple hours a day and just...be normal." She inhaled. "But I guess this is my new normal, so I better accept it."
"I'm sure it'll all work out," Lori cheerily added. "Normal is...vastly overrated after all."
"I've had my life worked out in my head since I was ten years old. Well, my love life." She raised a shoulder. "I thought I'd find some handsome guy who'd...sweep me off my feet, and it'd become apparent that we were meant to be. We would fall so deeply in love, and everything that followed would be forever. Just like my mom and dad. And I know it's not that cut and dry, but...I hoped it would be. Call me foolish, call me a dreamer, call me whatever—I really hoped it would be that simple. I really still do hope it'll happen like that, but I know it won't, because it's no longer just me who has to fall in love."
Lori shook her head slightly, not understanding.
"My son has to love with his man who'll be his father, and Daryl will have to approve and trust this man, too. And I don't even know how I'll handle dating with a child and...a Daryl on my hands. Daryl is the only guy I've been with, and my head is so confused because of that. I don't know what to make of guys now, honestly."
"Guys are easy."
"No. No, they are not." She moved hair out of her face. "Daryl...just took me by surprise on all levels, and I'm still shaken. I don't know what to expect from him. He's been with me through all of this, and he hasn't wavered to my face. He's had my back against Paula, and he's been patient and hasn't thrown anything back in my face since we hashed it all out.
And Caesar? He's stood by my side since I told him I was pregnant, and he's been an incredible friend. He...blows my mind. He does so much for me without wanting anything in return, and he's not looking to get with me after my son is here. He cares about me and the baby and Daryl." She bit her bottom lip. "I don't know what's going on with anything when it comes to guys. I've experienced more with guys than you or our friends yet I know nothing."
"Hey, anybody can have sex," Lori stated, "but experience comes with time."
She rubbed her belly. "Can I confess something?"
"Shoot." She lifted her cup to her lips and drank.
"Part of me thinks...I like Daryl more than just friends. Part of me wants to be more with him." She couldn't meet Lori's eyes. "But I know it's all in my head. All the little moments I think we have. He doesn't want me like that, and I don't really think I want him like that. I just...gave him everything, so I'm attached to him because of that. I know that logically, but sometimes my heart...betrays that logic. I know I must be nuts to think he could actually want me—"
"Hey, don't do that. He did want. That's how baby boy Dixon happened." She poked her forehead. "Daryl is just a complicated person. I don't think any signs can be easily read one way or another with that guy. He's a mess, too. He has shit, too."
"I'm just being...silly. It's the pregnancy talking right now. I don't...know what I want. I've gone back and forth with Daryl coming to my appointments when I think I told him he could come back at the beginning, and I'm just a mess." Her self-confidence was shot. The last few weeks at school with the baby dropping, she just felt all eyes on her. She felt like a whale. It wasn't a good feeling. It just gave her anxiety more fuel.
"You're beautiful," Lori informed her. "And your next boyfriend will be lucky."
"Next? Don't you mean "first"?"
"Well, after Daryl and Caesar."
She laughed. "Friends!"
"They both wanted you. One slept with you, and one tried to date you, so no, not just "friends"."
She rolled her eyes. "You're insane."
"It's the truth!"
"Yeah, but Caesar doesn't like me in that way. He just liked what he saw, and when what he saw was pregnant by his friend, he backed off and stepped back up as a friend. A really good friend. One that I didn't know how much I needed."
"Um, ouch."
"You literally just apologized for blowing me off, so don't even."
"Yeah, I did." She chuckled. "I'm sorry. I love you and my nephew. I just need to feel like a normal teenage high school student, not so...I don't know? Juno?"
"Her sister was like five."
"Then I'm the best friend."
"You like Tyreese? Ooh, or Dale?"
"Oh, fuck you." She flicked her and laughed.
Carol giggled. "What? You said it."
"I say a lot of things apparently."
"You really do."
"Oh, hush up and drink your tea."
– – –
The house was alive to the sound of frantic mess. Mom was playing music and readying the side dishes, Dad was trying out a new brine for the turkey, and Lori was on the phone with the local pizza place. It was all prep today, and that meant cheese stuffed crust, salads and hot wings. She was down for wings, especially since it was wing Wednesday, and they were super cheap. She could and would eat a bucket load.
"Okay, so about an hour?" Lori dodged a lumpy potato Dad chucked over his shoulder. "Okay. Thanks."
"Whoa!" Rick caught the potato before it smacked him right in the face. "Not what I was expecting to come flying at me, but okay."
Lori smiled and turned in her seat. "He's in his own little world."
"Clearly." He discarded the potato on the counter, and Karen stole it for her sides. "I see your parents go just as nuts as mine."
"I think it's parental wiring." She slid off the stool. "While they're off in la la land, do you want to watch a couple movies?"
"Sure. I'd love to."
"So I guess I can't read upstairs and enjoy the sunlight." Carol closed the thick book she'd been working on since that morning. "Guess my cave calls."
"You can stay," Lori argued.
"No, I can't. I can hardly focus with the Thanksgiving Prep Squad in the kitchen, and with movies? I won't read a single word."
"Then watch some with us." Lori sat on the couch, lacing her fingers through Rick's. "We're gonna watch some good holiday movies."
"I'll pass."
She frowned. "Why?"
"I'm not in the mood for movies. I just wanted to read my book." She slumped back down to her bedroom.
"I try and invite her to do stuff with me, and the Grinch comes out." Lori blew out an annoyed sigh. "I get that she's "heavy with child", but that doesn't mean she has to take it out on me."
"Don't get angry with her. Reading is a distraction, and she needs that right now, I bet." He squeezed her hand. "And let's not talk about Carol anymore. It's always Carol, Carol, Carol."
"Well, she's a huge part of my life as my pregnant, teenage sister."
"Yes, but there are other things coming up that I'd like to talk about."
She slowly smiled. "What things?"
"Christmas things, New Years things, prom things." He watched her smile widened. "Do you wanna talk about those things, too?"
"I'd love to talk about those things." She glanced at the kitchen archway. "And some other things, but they're a bit private. Do you want to come to my room?"
"Your room?"
"I won't bite, and the door will be open. I'm pretty sure Dad put our old baby monitor in there somewhere to spy on me."
"That's creepy."
"Yeah, it is. So is the possibility that it might have been Mom instead."
"Your parents don't trust you for shit, do they?"
"Nope." She smiled. "Come on. I have a laptop, so we can still watch movies."
"All right."
The couple went upstairs, Karen and Axel continue to prep for dinner that would be ruined by Dawn's asshole of a father, and Carol curled up in her armchair as best she could with her book. She tried to get into for about thirty minutes before it ended up on her couch, and she was pacing her room.
She was highly anxious about tomorrow night, and nobody was talking about it. Mom was burying her troubles in wine and mashed potatoes and greens. Dad might as well have his head shoved up that turkey's ass, because he wasn't paying attention to anything else. Lori was kind, but Carol couldn't sit through a movie, let alone sit through it without venting about how nervous she was. Lori had to be sick of hearing about her stress, so...down in her room she was. Stressing. Stewing.
She had called Andrea and Michonne, but they were busy with their own family traditions. Caesar and his dad were out of town until school started, and she had run out of people to call. Mom had mentioned the neighbors, but it wasn't a pregnancy issue. Well, it was, but there was little Lilly or Tara could do to ease her stomach. She would talk to Lilly one of these days. She just didn't know when. She was...mixed up in her head right, and she didn't have room for anyone else's voices in there.
She put her hands on her hips towards her lower back and blew out a sigh, scrunching her face at how difficult it was becoming to sigh. Or breathe deeply. Or breathe at all.
"You done freakin' out yet?"
She spun around and saw Daryl in her doorway. "No, I'm only freaking out more!" She didn't have anything on beyond a long shirt and her open bathrobe.
"I've seen you naked before," he commented as she struggled to cover herself with any blanket in reach.
"That's not the point!" She hugged her blanket to her chest. "What are you doing here? And how did you even unlock that door?"
"I was invited." He tossed a bag onto her couch and closed the door.
"Invited?" Carol's eyes narrowed.
"Yeah, invited." He reached for the blanket and tugged on it, only drawing her closer to him. "Let go."
"Who invited you here?"
"Your mom. She wanted to ensure that I'd be here tomorrow." He continued to gently tug on the blanket. "She said I could crash on the couch."
"Upstairs couch," Carol added.
"Yes, the upstairs couch."
"Why did you agree?" She released the blanket to cross her arms over her chest.
"Merle ain't home." He balled the blanket up and shrugged. "And the shop's closed. Ain't got much else to do. Least I get free food here."
"Gee thanks."
"I can see your underwear."
"Daryl!" She blushed and threw a nearby pillow at his face, only she didn't let go of it and actually whacked him with it. The sudden action surprised him so he lost his balance and fell on his ass. "Oh, God."
He blinked and moistened his lips. "Okay, I might've deserved that."
She laughed. "You're an idiot."
He tilted his head. "I really can see your underwear now."
"And a jackass!" She threw the pillow at him and turned on her heel to change in her bathroom. She emerged to find him reading her book on the floor, and she rolled her eyes. "Are you going to get up?"
"No, I'm gettin' to a good part." He turned the page. "And the floor's not too bad."
"You're making my back hurt even more by lying on the floor."
He glanced at her then stood up. "Fine. Happy?"
"No."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm about to be disowned by the only connection to my mother that is willing to talk about my mother. Oh, and she's also my best friend in the entire world."
"Entire world, huh?"
"Yes, the entire world. I would even tell her about us."
He tensed. "What us?"
"Well, not like us "us". We are not an "us". We're...a parent unit." She shook her head. "I meant that night."
"You'd seriously tell her about the night you lost your virginity?"
"Yes, I'd seriously tell her about that."
"Why? You're scared she'll disown you for that night."
"No, for the baby that came out of that night. And it's not her. It's my grandfather. He'll disown me and try and force her to disown me, and it'll be ugly and raise every issue they have to the surface. I don't want to do that to her. She's eighty-eight. She doesn't need that in her life." She whined. "She doesn't need a great grandson from her sixteen-year-old granddaughter."
"But she's getting one. She'll accept that or move on."
"I don't want her to move on," Carol snapped. "She's my grandmother. I love her. I want her involved in my life."
"Okay."
"Okay? Okay?"
"What else do you want to me say? You're the only twistin' yourself in knots over shit you can't control. You're pregnant. She will or won't accept that. She can't change it."
"Is it that clear-cut for you?" She scoffed. "There's so much more to this that."
"Like what?"
"Disappointment! Broken hearts! It's almost exactly like my mother, only I'm a few years behind, and I'm not married."
"And we aren't getting married."
"Duh! I don't want to marry you, and after this conversation, I'm not so sure I want to know you. How can you be so insensitive?"
"I'm not bein' insensitive. It's just real simple: she'll accept it or she won't! You're stressing yourself out unnecessarily over details."
"Important details!"
"If she loves you so much, those details won't matter! She'll have your back!" He had to shout over her so she'd hear him, and she stopped talking entirely. He eyed her. "Okay? So...stop stressin' out. She loves you, and she won't hurt you. That's what you're supposed to do when you love somebody, so...calm down."
She exhaled. "It's not even her I'm stressed out about. It's Grandfather."
"He makes you call him Grandfather?" She nodded. "Asshole."
"He is. He completely disowned my mom because of my dad. Grandma fought with him to be involved when she heard my mom was pregnant." She swallowed. "Then Mom died, and they wanted to keep in touch with the only part of her left alive. Grandfather just...is always ready to cut ties. I don't know why, but he pretty much has a knife to them at all times. It's...hard on me and on Dad. We both love Grandma, but they're a package deal, you know? I can't stand to lose her."
"You won't."
"You don't know my grandfather."
"But I will, and if he tries to cut ties, I'll make sure he doesn't."
"How?"
"I don't know," he admitted, "but I will. I can be persuasive."
She smiled a little "There's not much you can do, but thank you."
He walked over to his backpack. "You're tryin' to read, right?"
"With no luck, yeah."
"Here." He pulled a tablet out of his pack with headphones. "It's got a bunch of books downloaded onto it."
She blinked and reached out to accept it. "You don't have to—"
"I wanted to," he gently interrupted. "Just know it's a loan."
"Of course." She smiled widely and accepted the tablet. "Thank you."
"No need. Just makin' sure my kid hears somethin' good." He shrugged. "Umm, I put a few kids stories on there. They're document style, so you'd have to read 'em to him. Just...a suggestion."
She laughed softly. "I'm sure he'll love that. Why don't we read one to him tonight?"
He peeked at her. "Ain't much for readin' out loud."
"Well, that's too bad. Kids love stories, and I will not dry my throat alone." She smirked. "Besides the couch upstairs will always be waiting. Half an hour won't kill anything."
"Fine, but know you twisted my arm."
"Yeah." She nodded. "Completely."
He snorted and sat down on the couch. "I'm gonna take a nap, if you don't mind."
"Go ahead." She tossed the blanket he'd taken from her on the vacant seat. "I'm going to read. I might be able to get through my book yet."
He lied down, using his backpack as a pillow and stretching out. He had ditched his shoes long before he caught her attention, so he didn't worry about dirtying her couch with moisture or dirt. He glanced at her as she got comfortable on the bed and ran her eyes over the options. He smiled to himself and was glad for the annual Secret Santa for once. To see her so happy, it was worth that hell of Christmas songs and ugly sweaters.
––
Karen was woken up by Axel at six in the morning, he was already busting his ass to start dinner, and she was tempted to kill him and eat him for breakfast for having woken her up this damn early! The sun wasn't even out! God, why couldn't he just let her handle this? Actually, no, that'd be worse. She'd been up alone while he slept in bed all warm and comfy. Better to struggle together.
"I need coffee." She stretched and walked by the couch, seeing the blankets she'd put out for Daryl were untouched. "Damn."
"What?" Axel poked his head out of the kitchen.
"Daryl didn't come over last night. I asked him to." She sighed.
Axel smirked. "Look downstairs."
She frowned and pulled the door open, bending down and squinting to see in the dying light of a Kindle Carol and Daryl lying in bed together. She could see both were dressed and nothing had happened beyond sleeping, so she was okay with putting the lecture off until they were awake. She knew he would be over more and more when the boy was born, and she would be okay with sleepovers. But not right now, not with Lori acting oddly and this asshole coming over for dinner. She just didn't have enough hands to juggle this shit. God, was it too early for wine?
"Never too early." Axel handed her a cup of eggnog. "Totally spiked."
"Good. Coffee wouldn't do it for me anyway." She began to chug it until the booze hit her throat, and she nearly choked. "Jesus."
"Okay, so it's like two drops of eggnog." He drank from his cup. "Greg just does this to me."
"He does the same to me, but I'd like to be able to taste." She cleared her throat. "I'll get started on the pies."
They began to work on the turkey and the pies since they would take the most time. The other dishes simply needed to be warmed, so they focused on the more time consuming foods. Karen was tempted to start making homemade rolls since they had ingredients and the time, and she decided to go for it. Carol would need a pick me up, and she loved her homemade rolls. She couldn't wait to see the look on the girls face when they came to help load up the kitchen table. They would be so impressed and hungry. They would just tear into it. That was her favorite part.
Downstairs Daryl began to rouse, smelling something in his nose, and he leaned into it. It was nice. It was like fresh fruit and honey, and he wasn't used to that. It was lulling him back to sleep. He didn't know Merle even knew what fabric softener was. Damn...
He felt his pillow begin to move, he tensed, and his eyes shot open to find Carol hugging his chest. She was muttering into his chest about cookies and milk and to be sure Santa didn't eat the butterscotch ones. She was out cold with the grip of death on his back, likely believing he was a pillow, and Daryl felt...comfortable. He wasn't tense because of the close contact. No, he was surprised. He didn't expect to find her there. He forgot he had come over to spend the night. It didn't bother him to have her so close, to be holding him...
"Mmm..." Carol's hand moved from his back to her face, rubbing her eye. "Smells like ham..."
"That wasn't me," Daryl blurted without thinking.
"Ah!" She shot up, startled by the man in her bed, and she huffed. "Jesus!"
"No, Daryl, but thanks." He smirked.
"You scared the crap out of me!" She wanted to smack him but instead pushed hair out of her face. "Good God."
He slipped out of bed. "I meant to go after that last story, but I fell asleep."
"Yeah, me too." She yawned. "You make a good pillow."
"Thanks?"
"It's hard to sleep when you're pregnant, but I slept pretty good last night." She stood up and stretched. "Hmm. I need a shower and to find breakfast."
"I'll go pick something up. Somethings oughta be open this morning. It'll be easier on your parents."
She smiled sleepily at him. "You're awesome, dude."
He smiled a little, dropping his face towards the floor. "I'll go see what they want."
"Thanks, Daryl." She slipped into the bathroom and closed the door, inhaling to ready herself for this likely awful day.
– – –
"Okay, so Mom has claimed the kitchen. Do not enter the kitchen. It's a risk for your life." Lori curled under the blanket with Carol on the couch to continue watching their movie, handing over the bowl of fresh popcorn. "If you want more popcorn, we'll just have to suffer without. I think she'll stab us if we get in her way."
Daryl eyed her. "Do families usually get this nuts on the holidays?"
"Yup." Carol scooped a handful of popcorn up. "Mom loves to cook, but give her the space to do it. Or there'll be hell to pay."
"Don't your folks do this for you?" Lori asked, mostly focused on the movie.
"No, me and Merle either work or get a couple steaks and have some...er, juice."
Carol arched a brow at him. "Juice?"
"Yeah, real strong juice." He cleared his throat and averted his eyes.
"I'll bet." She munched on more popcorn. "A steak sounds good right now."
"Damn it, Daryl." Lori sent a playful glare his way.
"What'd I do?" He returned the glare.
"You got her on steaks, and we're having ham and turkey!"
"I'm not on steaks," Carol corrected. "It just sounds good. So does the ham and turkey. And steak, but ham and turkey, too. Yum. I cannot wait to cram it in my face to fill the void Grandma is going to leave in my life."
Lori sighed softly. "She won't cut you out of her life, Carol. She loves you. She'll be here for you and your son. I promise."
Carol stuffed her face with popcorn to avoid having to answer, and they returned to watching their movie in peace. Carol wasn't at all in peace. She was ridden with high anxiety, a stomach ache and her son wouldn't stop moving, which normally felt super cool, but only made her feel sick. She just wanted this nightmare of a day to be over. She wanted to crawl into bed and pretend that this wasn't happening. She wanted her son—very much, no doubt about that—but she didn't want her grandparents. She didn't want them to come to her home and disown her. She didn't want to lose her grandma. She didn't want to feel even more like a disappointment and a burden and a dumbass, because who didn't think to use a condom? God, she knew it would be brought up. Dad brought it up all the time after she told him. He didn't know she heard, but she had. She felt so stupid and so small. Now she just felt so stupid and fucking like a planet. God, she was such a fuck up.
"Hey, who wants to help me set up the table?" Karen called to the kids. "Or should I ask who remembers how to make napkin swans?"
Daryl's brows rose. "Napkin swans?"
"Only the best for Gregory," she bitterly mused. "Carol? Lori? Any takers?"
"I'm not really into this movie, so sure." Carol stood up and joined her mom in the kitchen. "Oh, the fancy China?"
"We never use it." She was stirring the gravy, peeking over her shoulder. "It was your mom's and Axel's wedding China."
She set her hand over the soft fall-colored flowers with delicate Baby's Breath looping around the rim. "It was? Dad never mentioned that."
"He doesn't know." She turned to face her confused daughter.
"How couldn't he know?"
"Dawn purchased them after they were married. She only bought a few, because they couldn't afford a whole lot, but she wanted something...traditional to hold onto. We bought them together, discussing baby names and how to decorate the nursery."
"Why didn't you tell him?"
"They're just plates to him. They never meant much to him. He just knew Dawn liked them, so he made sure to not scratch or break them." She smiled softly. "He takes care of things Dawn loved. Items, I mean."
"Sounds like Dad."
She inhaled and started to speak but closed her mouth. It wasn't for her to mention. It was Axel's gift, and she had no right to it. She'd just have stick to dinner. "So, do you remember how to make swans?"
"Not at all."
She laughed. "I knew it. Here. Let me show you." She reached out to grasp the cloth napkins from the island. "I can't believe how fancy we have to get for Greg. It's so stupid." She began to fold it slowly, showing Carol.
"Yeah. I don't get it either. It's not like we have to earn his approval or anything. He has no say over my life or my baby. It's just...facts and politeness to inform family of a coming infant."
Karen studied her. "Don't worry so much. Your grandma is a fighter. She'll knock Greg flat on his ass to keep you in her life."
"I don't know if she'd go that far, but...okay."
"No, no okay. It's true. She will." She caught her chin and made eye contact. "She loves you, Carol. You are all she has left of Dawn and all that will carry her line, but more important than that...you are her very heart. You can't even know how much that woman loves you, how she'd do anything for you."
Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm scared."
"I know, baby." She embraced her. "But try not to be. She needs you in her life as much as she needs air."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because...that's how every mother feels about their child...and their grandchild." She stroked her hair. "I feel that way about you and your baby. You and Lori have given me so much, and I know this baby will do the same for you. You just have to remember that. If you lose anybody because you're going to be a parent, they deserve to be lost. If someone wants to be in your life, they'll be in your life. It isn't a you problem. It's a them problem. Okay?"
She nodded and held her mom tighter. "Okay."
Axel stood just beside the doorway, having overheard their conversation, and he sighed softly, soundlessly and turned away. He had a feeling Carol would need a pick me up tonight, and he knew just what would do.
– – –
The table was filled with a rather fancy and precious meal. Fake vines of fall leaves weaved through the mashed potato and roll bowls, small strands of cranberries rested around the casseroles and cornbread, and tea light candles that lightly shined red and orange light through their small glass holders circled the turkey and pies. The lovely plates filled both sides of the table with their swans resting perfectly in the center, wine glasses beside the adults' plates, and water glasses beside the kids' plates. It was a picture perfect scene.
Karen had joined the kids in their rewatch of A Christmas Story, sharing the blanket with Carol, and Lori was texting Rick while Daryl began to pick at his clothes. Axel watched Daryl try and make a hole in his jeans, but they were too new. Most people wouldn't know that, but Axel had also purchased new clothes for tonight. He didn't want to bloody his good, worn out clothes should he and Greg come to blows like last time. He'd rather just waste the new stuff. If he couldn't get the stains out, he would at least give it to charity. Probably.
A knock on the door caught their attention, Karen didn't want to get it as she'd just put all the food out literally ten minutes ago, so Axel hopped up to answer it. It was the parents. Joy of joys.
"Axel!" Mel embraced him tightly. "It's so good you see you!"
Carol's heart skipped a beat, and she sank onto the couch. Oh, God.
Karen squeezed her hand before rising to embrace Mel herself. "Melody." She rubbed her back. "It's so good to see you."
"You should invite me over more." She was teasing, but only just.
"Axel." Greg shook his head and moved into the living room without speaking any further to the man.
"Oh, Lori." Mel ran her eyes over the young woman before her. "You...have simply shot up like a tree. So stable and tall. You're lovely. You're a painting."
"Aww." Lori couldn't stop smiling. "I missed you so much." She tackled her tightly. "You look so gorgeous. I love this top."
She laughed. "This Grandma still some style."
"Just a bit." Lori teased.
"Keep it up, and I'll buy you socks for Christmas."
"I'm kidding." She assured her. "I'm kidding."
"You'd better be." She kissed the top of her head. "Stop growing up on me so much. You'll make me feel old."
Just wait. Lori smiled widely. "I'll try."
"Good. Try hard." She smirked then turned to Carol, who had yet to move. "Comfortable, huh?" She objected to Carol moving to stand up. "No, no. Stay right there. I'll come to you." She leaned over to hug her, and Carol gulped when she felt her grandma's elbow brush her bump. Grandma didn't react in any way, just held her and kissed her cheek.
Carol relaxed somewhat—at least enough to enjoy the hug—and smiled brightly at her. "I missed you so much. I'm sorry I haven't called."
She sat beside her. "Don't worry about it. You have a life. You're a growing girl. It's okay." She patted her knee. "We'll have plenty of time to catch up tonight, won't we?"
She nodded. "Yeah."
"Carol." Greg smiled—or what you assume was a smile—at Carol.
"Hi, Grandfather." She tried to smile back but failed miserably.
His eyes flickered to Daryl, who sat in the armchair by Karen. "Who's this?"
"A friend." Lori piped in. "He's joining us for dinner."
Greg smirked a bit. "No, he's the meat boy."
Mel sighed deeply at that.
"Did he deliver the turkey? The ham perhaps?"
"He really is a friend," Carol told him.
"And what does it matter if he did?" Melody demanded. "Hmm?"
Greg didn't say anything else but still worked that shit-eating smirk.
Mel turned to the stranger. "What's your name then?"
"Daryl," he replied, moving his eyes off Greg. "Daryl Dixon."
"Hide the silver," Greg said as a joke, but it wasn't funny nor did it sound like a joke.
"Why don't you come and have a glass of Scotch?" Axel offered. "Before dinner."
"Hmm. I'll take a glass, neat, please." He spoke like Axel was a waiter, and it wasn't kindly.
"So," Mel took hold of the conversation, "how's school going for you kids? Good? Is high school treating you all right?"
"It's the best." Lori moved to sit on the arm of the couch and gushed about how awesome high school was for what felt like four years. She started to get really excited when she got to talking about Rick. "We've been dating for about three months, and he's...really great. I care about him a lot, and he cares about me. It...it's just really amazing."
"I'm glad. Young love is beautiful and very important. It shapes your relationships to come. It sounds like you caught a good one, too, honey. I'm happy for you." She reached over and patted her knee. "If he makes you smile like that often then I'm really happy."
"He does." She laughed softly. "You'd approve of him if you met him."
"Just don't try and move too fast. You're still a child." This from Gregory. "You have more important things to do in high school than let a guy ruin your future."
Lori lost her smile and turned away from him, rolling her eyes behind her hair, and Karen wrapped an arm around her back, rubbing it once.
"And how about you, Carol?"
"It's high school. It's okay." She shrugged. "I like my classes."
"Well, big talker." She glanced at Daryl. "How about you, Mister Silence? How do you like high school?"
He cleared his throat. "It's all right. I mean, I'm doing pretty decent, and...I got a year left, so I'm lookin' forward to that."
"Eager to be out of school? Do you have college plans?"
Greg snorted.
"I do," Daryl had to keep a hiss out of his tone at the asshole in the room. "I already have a college in mind, and they're interested in me. If I do well on my ACTs, I'm guaranteed a full ride."
"Oh, that's exciting." Mel grinned. "College is wonderful. You really learn who you are. It's...an experience everyone should have. I understand why people shy away from it—all the debt—but you'll love it. You'll learn things you never thought you could about the oddest things. Oh, but you'll love it."
Daryl smiled a little. "I hope so."
"We'll have to go and visit the campus in the spring," Mel gasped. "We can view the dorms and check out the classes. Make an afternoon out of it. It'll be lovely."
"I don't know if I'll even get in," Daryl nervously reminded her.
"A smart young man like yourself?" She waved the possibility of him not getting in away. "You'll get that full ride."
"And what makes you think he's so smart?" Greg inquired, which Daryl had wondered too, but not as rudely.
"Just use your eyes," she retorted to her husband. "It's the quiet ones who are very intelligent and going places. They don't have time to be bothered. They have goals."
"All that from silence?"
"Yes, try it sometime." She crossed her legs and smiled at Daryl. "Let me know how that score looks, okay?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "I will."
"Good." She smacked her hands together. "I'm starving. Is this a fasting Thanksgivings, or did I wear my good stretchy pants for no reason?" She waggled her brows.
Karen chuckled. "It's all laid out. I just wanted you to get comfortable."
"I'm so comfortable you'll have to help me up." She held a hand out, and Karen helped her up, letting her put her weight on her and not her bad hip. "Now if you have to pry me out of my seat in the kitchen, let the young man do it. He looks like he has the arms for it."
"Grandma!" Carol blushed.
"What? I'm just using my eyes before the cataracts take over."
"Geez." Carol shook her head.
"Let's go eat, shall we?" Greg spoke. "I have an early morning."
"Right." Mel looked a little bummed about that.
Karen and Axel and Lori all looked at Carol, who inhaled deeply and readied herself to mentally and physically to stand up, and Mel glanced at her husband before Carol stood up. And instead of pure silence like Carol had expected, Gregory downed his drink and set it on the table before turning to Axel.
"Please just tell me that she's gotten very fat and that isn't what I think it is." He stared dead into Axel's eyes.
"No, she hasn't gotten very fat." Axel replied, "that's just my grandson."
"Grandson?" Mel muttered, not at all bothered, unlike her husband.
Greg nodded and chuckled bitterly. "Is it the meat boy's? Is that why he's here? To help soften the blow? It only makes it worse that my granddaughter spread her legs for a lowlife who could only find a job doing something as simple as delivering meats."
Carol's eyes burned.
"And is it so hard to use a condom? What do they teach you in school these days? Just sleep around and don't worry about the consequences? That there are no consequences?" He scoffed. "I thought you were smarter than this, but I guess low self-esteem and a cute guy makes a powerful combination."
"Hey!" Karen snapped. "Don't you dare talk to my daug—"
"She isn't your daughter," Greg cut her off. "She is my granddaughter. She's only related to you through a sham marriage and a slip of paper. She came from my flesh and blood, and it would seem you have truly taught her nothing worth knowing."
Karen was about to go off when Mel gripped her hand tightly to get her attention, shaking her head. It wasn't her battle, the head shake told her. It was a war that started long ago and needed to be put to rest. Tonight, she hoped that happened.
"First my daughter now my granddaughter." He was spewing at Axel. "You really are worthless! You had one job: to raise her into a young woman with a head on her shoulders. You couldn't even do that. I knew I should have taken her when Dawn died. I knew you didn't have what it takes to raise a child. You raised a slag. An idiot."
"I'm not an idiot," Carol informed him. "I know about sex and condoms and—"
"Then why wasn't one used? Did you just let him mount you like an animal and have his way with you? Did you even want it?" He shook his head. "Let me guess how this happened. A party, you both were drinking, and then you took it upstairs? Or do his car? Please tell me it wasn't in the middle of street."
"It wasn't! And you're wrong!"
"Right, because this was clearly not a hormone driven mistake?"
"He's not a mistake!"
"I'm surprised you didn't just abort." He wasn't listening to Carol. "Christ. I told Dawn she should have done it, but she wouldn't listen to me. And now it's too late for me to tell you."
Carol whimpered.
"It was nothin' on her," Daryl stood beside her. "It was me. I made moves, and I took advantage of her. Don't call her stupid, and don't you ever fucking say my son should be aborted, you prick."
"You took advantage? Then I should call the cops. You're older than her. A junior, was that right? I'll explain to my good friend down at the police department that a Dixon took advantage of my grandchild at a party where drinking and likely drugs were involved. It'll be an open and shut case with your history. There won't be any campus visits in your fut—"
"He didn't do anything she didn't want," Axel seethed. "Just like Dawn and I didn't do anything we didn't both want. You don't get to come to my home and belittle my family, ridicule how we've raised our children. They are good kids. They are kind and respectful and are going places. They are my entire life, so is my grandson, and I won't let you say anything else to them."
He shook his head. "You're a failure as a father."
"How is that? They're both drug free, and they don't sneak booze out of the house. They are happy and have good friends and awesome grades. Sure, Carol's pregnant, but that does not make her a bad kid. She is everything Dawn wanted in a child, and she is every motivation I need. She is the reason I even get out of bed in the morning. You don't get to call that stupid. You don't get to do anything. I want you out of my house. I don't want you to step back into this house until you've apologized to everyone in this room and mean it." His voice was lethally low. "There's a reason Dawn never wanted you around us, and I think it's time you know."
"Then tell me."
"She didn't want you and your attitude poisoning our baby, and she didn't want Carol to grow up having heavy contact with you. That's why you never babysat for us or were allowed to be around Carol alone. We missed work just so we wouldn't have to have you babysit, because that's how toxic Dawn knew you were to have around Carol. And she was right." He sneered. "Now get out of my house."
He swallowed. "Dawn settled for you."
"Well, lucky me. She was the best part of my life. Just like I'm sure this baby will be for Carol and Daryl, who will make amazing parents. I have no doubts about that. They'll be a great team, and I'm proud to say Daryl is my son's father. I'm proud that my son will have such an intelligent and kind father, someone who's thinking ahead for the good of not only himself but his family. That's something you never understood. It was all about your career and what looked best for you. You were never a father, just a glorified sperm donor." He scoffed. "You nearly ruined Dawn. You really tried hard to ruin her, didn't you? But you don't know. Well, let me tell you. You shit on her so much about her body and her mind that she developed an eating disorder, had panic attacks when she wasn't prepared for tests, and she was always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She was a mess, and there wasn't anything I could do to protect her from you. I regret not doing more. I should have taken her out of your house the day I met her."
He scoffed. "Melody, let's go."
Mel shrugged a shoulder. "I came for food, and it smells too good for me to just up and leave."
Daryl reached over and grasped Carol's hand as she dried her eyes, holding it gently but firmly.
"We're leaving right this instant."
"I'm eating. You're leaving. You're the one who made an ass of himself."
"You're not honestly happy about this?"
"Not about how young she is, but it's done, and I'm going to be a grandmother again. A great-grandmother. I'm...ecstatic." She beamed. "I might as well get to know the newest member of our family before the boy is born, eh? I always wanted a boy to spoil."
"If you don't come with me now, you're staying here."
She patted Karen's hand and walked over to him, Karen tried to reach for her to stop her, but she gently swatted her hand aside. She stood before her husband and put her hands on her hips, inhaling before stating, "The couch looks pretty damn comfortable."
Carol's jaw hit the floor, and she leaned into her Daryl, bringing her other hand to her mouth to cover how much it'd fallen.
"Fine." He stormed out of the house, slamming the door and speeding away.
"Grandma." Carol shuddered. "You didn't—"
"But I wanted to." She walked over to Carol and cupped her chin. "You're my daughter's daughter, and I am so proud of you, girlie. Don't cry over his words. He'll get over it or have a cow. Personally, I'd love to take care of a cow, but a chunky baby boy will just have to do."
She smiled. "You meant that?"
"I do. I meant every word." Her eyes from from Carol to Daryl and back again. "Now, dry those tears, and let's eat. He ain't gonna get chunky off tears. I think the ham and potato will do the trick, though."
She laughed. "I'll bet."
"Let's go before it gets cold." She kissed her forehead. "Greg is a grumpy ass, but he isn't a big enough ass to ruin our holiday spirit. Now, let's have the daddy-to-be slice up this bird!"
"Hey, hey, that's my job," Axel reminded her.
"And you do it so well, but he'll need the practice. He'll have many more with our boy, won't he?"
"Fine, but only for him and Carol. I'll carve it the rest of the way."
They all headed into the dining room, Daryl found Carol was still holding his hand as they slipped into the room, and he liked how it felt. Her hand was small and warm, and he liked that he could cover it completely with his own. It felt like protecting her. Well, a small part of her, anyway. And he liked that.
They were halfway through their meal, joking and tossing up baby names and nursery ideas when Mel raised her glass for a toast. The kids only had water glasses, but they raised them anyway, and she ran her eyes over her ever-growing family. Her line passed on in the beauty and grace and badassery of Carol, and trust her, Carol had to be badass to walk down the halls of her school pregnant and still working to graduate and attend college. All women who did that while raising a child were badass, but she was digressing...
"To family," she toasted, "to those departed and those yet to come. We have a lot to learn about each other and ourselves. That questioning never ends, even at my age, so trust me. Life is all about self-discovery, but don't get lost in the little lines and divots, or you'll miss more than a colorful sunset. You'll miss the beauty in the one sitting next to you. You'll miss love on the warm spring air. You'll miss the first step into a train wreck called parenting. And you won't want to miss any of that, believe me. It's all beautifully messy. It really shows you to yourself who you are when people need you, and it's an eye opener. For both the parents and those around them, so keep your family close, even those who aren't in it just yet."
They clanged cups and drank. Carol noted her grandmother looking directly at her, and she didn't know what to say, so she just kept drinking. If only Carol knew exactly what that look meant. It might have saved her a headache.
