Aftermath of the hospital fire. Thanks for all the reviews, you are very sweet to me. :-) Looking forward to your reactions.
Chapter 11: Liars
The Quintjet took them to a base in Montana. They had to tell the whole story. Natasha did it with her gaze fixed on a wall somewhere behind the agent in charge. Clint was looking at his hands all the time. After that they sent them to the doctors. Clint had to go through X-ray again and his ankle needed surgery. Natasha had the bullet from her arm removed, but otherwise she was fine.
It was the first day after his surgery, two days after the fire. She came to his room. She didn't say a word, she barely looked at him. She crossed the room and sat on the window sill. He was surprised at first, but then they reached a silent agreement. She sat on the window sill and watched people below, he spent most of his time staring at the ceiling. The next day she came again and the day after that as well. They rarely spoke, and when they did it was about casual things. Do you want coffee? How's your ankle doing? When do you think they'll let us go? Would you mind if I opened the window? Can you pass me that please?
Two weeks after the fire the agents determined exactly which remains belonged to Abe and Janet. That was the only day when she wasn't on his window sill, because she borrowed a helicopter to fly Janet's remains to her family, along with the golden ring she was supposed to give her as a goodbye from her husband. But that day Clint wasn't in his room either, because he was in another helicopter, taking Abe back home.
Three weeks after the fire they attended a SHIELD memorial ceremony. The Kirks were both quite popular, especially Abe, so the ceremonial room was packed with agents. Clint was asked to deliver the eulogy, but he refused. He knew that they asked Natasha too and he knew her answer. Fury did it instead and it actually came off quite nice. The music was Abe's favorite, the Indiana Jones theme song. There were tears and flowers, but none of them from Clint and Natasha. They didn't need to cut some poor plants to express what the Kirks meant for them.
„You need a break," Fury told them after the ceremony. „I don't want to see any of your faces for a while. Disappear from the radar and report here in a month."
„What if you need us?" asked Clint.
„You're not the center of the universe, Barton. The SHIELD can survive a month without you two. And if there is some unexpected situation, we will always be able find you. We just won't be looking for you. And if you come back early, I will personally lock you up for the rest of your leave."
The threat sounded serious enough to send Clint packing. He could stuff most of his personal belongings to one duffel bag. He considered leaving his bow behind, but it was a part of him and he wanted to use some of his free time to practice.
He headed for the bus station, still with his crutches. He could borrow one of the SHIELD cars, but Fury boasted he could find them anywhere, so why make it easier for him?
He wasn't surprised to see that Natasha decided to go by bus too. She had a bag even smaller than his. They didn't plan on spending their vacation together, but as he saw here there, he thought that it might not be a bad idea to have company.
„Where are you going?" she asked.
„I have no idea," he shrugged. „You?"
„I don't have a place to go to," she said. „Never had."
„Well, let's see," he looked at the timetable of departures. „How about Oregon?"
„Doesn't sound too bad," she nodded. „Why not?"
XXX
It was Barton, who saw the big sign BUNGALOWS FOR RENT. She wondered if he was looking for something like this, because the little remove bungalow they chose was just what they needed. The real estate agent looked at Barton's bow somehow suspiciously and Natasha was glad that the woman couldn't see the two guns and a couple of throwing knives in her bag. But Fury managed to get them enough money to silence any of the real estate agent's concerns. (When he labeled the expense as Recompense for Emotional or Physical Damage, no one argued with him.)
She took one of the bedrooms, he took the other, but they met in the living room anyway. She sat on the window sill, he sat on the couch with his bad ankle on the coffee table.
„Will you teach me how to shoot from that thing?" she asked, pointing at his bow.
He seemed a little offended when she called the love of his life that thing, but nodded. „Will you teach me something about interrogation?"
She said yes. It was only fair to offer something in exchange.
„Thank you, Nat," he said.
At first it hurt, him using Abe's old nickname for her. But after a second or two she understood. It was keeping a part of their friend with them. Every time he calls her Nat, it's in honor of Abe.
They had to start with the interrogation part, because he still had to take it easy. Natasha found out that she had to stick to the basics with him. After working with Abe, Barton seemed hopelessly slow. Where Abe knew everything before she even opened her mouth, Barton didn't have a clue. It was driving her crazy.
„For a person who lies so often, you're terrible at it," she told him after two days.
„You can begin with teaching me how to lie properly, you're an expert," he replied.
„You heard me in the hospital – I am not a liar."
„Yeah, you're a beacon of truth," he sniffed.
„And that is one of the tricks," she said and leaned closer. „Eye contact." Her eyes met his. „And then the truth. Many people can sense a lie and they would back out from the trap, but all I am giving them is truth. Every time I'm doing this, I am exposing myself," she said quietly. „I am making myself vulnerable, I am a bait in the trap. Because to get to someone, I must let him get to me first, let him feel like he's winning, like I'm nothing but an emotional woman with an exaggerated reputation. And that's when they slip. It may be only one sentence, one expression, but it can tell me all I need to know. That's how I do it."
Barton couldn't be less impressed. „So you're saying I should play an emotional woman?"
A year ago this reaction would anger her, but now it didn't really matter. Her method was just a method. She was offering her enemies her weak spots for years, but every one of them thought she was lying and they all missed the wonderful opportunity to strike her where it would hurt most. She really doubted that she'd meet someone who would see through her game.
„You can try that," she smiled. „But make sure you tape it for me."
XXX
When his ankle was ready for the archery lessons, Clint finally understood Natasha's frustration with his acting skills. What felt as easy as breathing to him was a struggle for her and she still lacked patience. When her tenth arrow missed the mark and even the two meters wide board it was painted on, she threw the bow angrily on the ground.
„Don't do that," he snapped immediately, snatching it from the ground.
„I'm sorry, it's just a bow. Fury will get you a hundred of them if you want to," she said.
„It's not just a bow. Marty designed it for me," Clint admitted.
„Marty? Your friend Marty? The one from Johannesburg?"
„The one I should have killed and didn't," he confirmed.
Her face softened a little. „You're a child, Barton," she said, but there was no condemnation in her voice. She understood why he cared about the bow so much, why he started to call her Nat. He let his dead friends go, but he was trying to keep them remembered.
„I'm older than you," he pointed out. „And I am not the one throwing a tantrum over a couple of missed shots."
„No, you are throwing a tantrum over me mistreating your bow."
„Well, take it and show me what you've got," he offered her his weapon.
She took it and this time she at least managed to hit the board. She was a little more cheerful after that, but Clint could see through her act and he knew she could see through his. Inside they were both on the edge of breaking and the masks they put on were the only things keeping them together.
That night he was woken up by light footsteps in the kitchen. He reached for the gun and tried to climb out of his bed as silently as he could. Walking silently with a bad ankle was trickier. He was ready to shoot, but when he turned on the light, he found only Natasha.
She immediately turned her back to him, like she was trying to hide her face.
„You're going to be the death of me one day," he told her. „Why don't you at least turn on the lights like a normal person?"
„When have I ever been anything like normal?" she asked, turning back to face him.
„I remember certain beach where we came pretty close."
She didn't answer and he saw all the distress on her face. It was bad. Her mask was falling apart and once it does, Natasha will break.
„Bad dream?" he asked. She nodded. „Abe or Janet?"
„Irina," she said barely audibly.
Well, that was surprising, but understandable. „You do remember that it was kill or be killed, right?"
„But it was still Irina."
He looked at her, thinking about what to do.
„Let's go out," he suggested finally, taking a bottle of rum and two glasses from a cupboard. They sat on the veranda and Clint poured them both a drink.
„I first met Abe in Bratislava," he said. „It was my first mission, I was in a backup team for Abe's operation. Some of his people screwed up and we had to pull them out. He lost half of his team back there, but when I met him a few days later, he seemed fine. I asked him how he did it and he said that the key is to get very drunk every evening. But he was always a happy drunk. This one time in Salt Lake City..."
Natasha listened intently and soon she remembered some stories on her own. After an hour they moved from Abe to operations in general. After four hours they moved from swapping stories to discussions. They didn't even drink much, not enough to get tipsy. When the sun came up, they made breakfast and after that it was time for another archery lesson. But after dinner Clint took the bottle and two glasses and went to the veranda again.
After a week there was nothing more to talk about, but they still sat there every evening in silence. They repaired and polished their masks so that to the rest of the world they'd appear emotionless and invulnerable. He got better at lying and she got better at archery. And when their month was up and a SHIELD car appeared on their doorstep (they didn't really believe Fury, when he said he won't be looking for them), the agent sent to pick them up saw Hawkeye and Black Widow coming back to work.
