Author's note: So I'm supposed to be finishing my 1500 word essay on racism which is due soon, but I felt like writing another chapter! Thank you everyone who reviewed! You guys are awesome! :D And I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D
And answering Katnuss's question: I update as much as I can! If I don't have a lot of University work to do then it's usually every few days. If I have a lot of work then it can be up to a week, and if I have a looooooooooot of work + I'm sick or something then it can sometimes be a few weeks! But I try and update as much as I can sometimes I just lose track of time!
The drive had been long and exhausting. By the time Dimitri pulled up in front of a house the sun had just left the sky, leaving us all feeling exposed. Dimitri and I were obviously more alert then the rest. Lissa had been leaning on Christians shoulder, drifting to sleep and Adrian had actually been relatively quiet for a while. I slid out of the car, stretching my legs. My body felt numb and all I felt like doing was going for an extremely long and exhausting run.
Adrian climbed reluctantly out of the passenger seat, sliding into the driver's side. We had all agreed that it would be best if they stayed away from the Belikov house for a while, until Dimitri had time to reconnect with his family. Adrian was going to drive them back to a hotel for the night. After unloading our bags Adrian started driving back, leaving Dimitri and me standing outside his house.
"Welcome to Baia, Siberia." Dimitri sighed, staring cautiously at his home. I knew he was nervous. This was the first time he would be seeing his family in god only knows how long. And on top of that they still thought he was dead. It wasn't exactly the best circumstances to arrive home under. I was just worried about their reaction. Though you only had to look at Dimitri to know he was the same man he used to be. He had warmth about him. I didn't remember knowing him well, but I could still tell that much. He was a caring person.
"Huh," I replied, "I always imagined Siberia being…more…snowy." It just looked normal. Green. There was trees and everything. There wasn't even a hint that it had recently rained.
Dimitri let out a small laugh. I couldn't not notice the way his entire face changed when he laughed. Even a small laugh transformed him completely. It made his entire countenance appear warmer, like someone had lit a fire within his soul which shone through his eyes, radiating from his skin, lighting the air around him. It was amazing to watch that transformation occur.
Suddenly the front door opened and Dimitri's entire body froze. He didn't even look like he was breathing. I was actually concerned about him. If he went any paler they might actually think he was still Strigoi. Slowly, I approached him and rested my hand on his arm. His eyes met mine. I was shocked to see fear in his. He actually feared facing his family. I couldn't believe that he could even feel fear. He always seemed so solid, so indestructible, like any emotion which would take us hostage couldn't even touch him.
"This is your family." I said in a low voice. "No matter what happens right now, don't forget that they love you. They always will." He nodded and took a deep breath.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the car, towards the glow of light spilling from the front door. There was a women standing there. I guessed this was his mother. Her eyes were filled with tears, her mouth hanging open from shock. I could see disbelief in her eyes. Olena, was that her name? I could vaguely remember Dimitri mentioning her name on the car ride. I could tell that she hadn't expected us here. I guess she never expected to see her son alive again.
"Olena," I said in a cautious voice. What was I supposed to say after that though? You're sons alive! It's a miracle! No. This was their moment; Dimitri had to be the one to talk to her.
"Dimka," Olena choked out, managing to fill that one word with a lifetime of heartache, "I-It's you. It's really you. My boy…my boy." Suddenly Olena flung herself into her son's arms. I could hear her sobs. Dimitri rubbed his mother's back, holding her tightly to his chest. I could faintly hear his voice, whispering to her in Russian. The tone in his voice made me assume that he was giving her an explanation for his sudden return to his Dhampir self. I personally didn't think Olena cared. She was just happy to have her son home, in her arms, where he belonged.
He pulled back, keeping his hands on her shoulders. Olena smiled up at him through her tears, and then Dimitri said a few more words to her, pointing in my direction as he smiled and said my name. Olena glanced at me, also smiling. Her eyes were filled with tears of joy.
"Oh, Rose." She breathed, "You brought him back. Thank you." Suddenly she pulled me into an embrace. It was only slightly awkward. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't the first time we'd met. I'd been here before, and judging from her warm welcome we'd gotten along.
"Come, come!" She said, pulling away. "You both must stay here tonight."
Olena turned towards the house, and I followed Dimitri as he began walking inside. I felt like an intruder. This wasn't my family; this wasn't my life. It was Dimitri's. I felt like I was butting into a moment I shouldn't be in. I didn't remember these people. I didn't even know if we'd gotten along when I was here. He's entire family probably hated me for bringing them the news of Dimitri's demise, and now he was miraculously back. I'd caused them heartache for no good reason.
Dimitri's home was filled with warmth. As soon as you walked through the door you felt like you were being embraced. It was just filled with so much life, so much love; it was filled with memories. It was amazing. I could only hope that one day I could have a home like this. I could spend my time there when I wasn't on Guardian duty. I loved how much Dimitri transformed when he walked through the door. He appeared relaxed. I didn't think I'd ever seen him relaxed before. But in this moment, in his family home, his smile was genuine; there was no strain behind it. His body didn't look coiled and ready to fight. He looked younger.
Olena began yelling out in Russian. I could only assume she was summoning the rest of the household. I felt awkward as I stood behind Dimitri. This was his reunion with his family; why had he asked me to be here? I just felt like I was in the way! His eyes suddenly locked with mine, and a warm smile spread across his face. He was happy. The anxiety I'd glimpsed in him all the way here was gone. His mother's reaction had been reassuring and now he just seemed excited to see the rest of his family after such a long time away from them.
"Viktoria," Dimitri breathed as a girl around my age entered the room. She let out a squeal of happiness upon seeing her brother. She didn't question how his presence in their house was possible; she didn't ask how he wasn't a Strigoi anymore. She just flung herself across the room and into his arms.
"Dimitri!" She exclaimed, "We missed you so much," I could see tears filling her eyes; "We never thought we'd see you again. How-How is this possible?" She seemed to be scanning him from head to toe, repeatedly, almost like she believed he was about to disappear at any moment. I felt a pang of sadness for myself. It was selfish, but I wanted what Dimitri had. I wanted a family who cared about me. My mother and I were closer now then we had ever been, but I never got to experience having siblings; a real sister and brother. I would have loved that.
Upon hearing Viktoria's voice two more girls entered the room. These two looked older and one was carrying a newborn baby. From what Dimitri had told me I was guessing this was Sonya, which would make the other Karolina. Dimitri had informed me that when I visited them Sonya had been pregnant. If I had to guess I'd say the baby had been born recently. Sonya looked tired, but upon seeing her older brother her entire face lit up.
What followed next was a blur of hugs and Russian words which I didn't understand. The girls circled around Dimitri conversing in Russian. I thought they had completely forgotten about me until I glanced up to see them watching me with amused looks on their faces. I realised that Dimitri had been trying to talk to me, but I had been off in my own world.
"Sorry," I said, "What?"
"Come here?" He grinned. "I want you to meet my new niece."
I smiled back and walked over to glance at the small bundle in Sonya's arms. The little baby had inherited the same features they all seemed to have. She had dark brown eyes and a small smatter of brown hair. Her cheeks were rosy and she had a small grin on her face. It was almost like she knew what a special moment this was for the rest of her family.
"This is Roza." Sonya smiled at me. "We thought she deserved to be named after someone special to us."
Tears unexpectantly sprang to my eyes, "And I was special to you? Special enough to name your baby after me?" I said softly, carefully reaching out to touch Roza's little hand. I'd been the girl who delivered the news of her brother's death. I didn't see how that qualified me to have a baby named after me.
"You loved my brother with your entire heart even after he was gone. You never lost hope. You wanted to set him free from the evil which had taken him. That in its self deserves more then we could ever give. So I wanted to name my baby after you; the girl who stole my brother's heart, who planned to share with him a life, a life which we always wanted him to have, a love which he had always deserved." She grabbed one of my hands. "We thought you would release him; instead you brought him back to us. You have given us our Dimka. You have given us hope."
"I told you she would," a voice spoke from the doorway. An older woman stood there. I was guessing this was Dimitri's grandmother; Eva? Or Yeva? Something like that. To be honest, she looked scary. She reminded me of a witch. Dimitri had warned me about my initial reaction to her, but I guess one could never be fully prepared. She had what seemed to be a perpetual glare on her face. She almost seemed offended by the fact that no one had taken her word on whatever she had told them.
"Oh hush," Olena chuckled at her mother. "Even you couldn't predict a miracle such as this."
Hours passed before Dimitri and I were allowed to finally go to bed. The Belikov family were thrilled to see both of us, much to my surprise. They had no idea that I didn't remember them, but they filled Dimitri in on a bunch of stories from my time there. They were all so nice. By the end of the night I felt like I'd known them for years. They all seemed to believe I was the reason for Dimitri's "salvation". I just wished I could remember saving him in the first place.
Olena was directing us to our rooms. At least I'd thought rooms. Emphasis on the plural. Instead she stopped in front of one singular door with a smile on her face. Dimitri stood by my side, looking a little uncomfortable. He opened his mouth slightly. Obviously to tell his mother that we were no longer together and that we might require separate sleeping areas. But then tears sprang to Olena's eyes as she stared at us both.
"No words could ever express how happy I am that my Dimka has returned to us," She said. She reached out for my hand, a look of such happiness in her eyes that I couldn't speak. "I hope your love lasts a lifetime. It would break my heart to see you lose each other again." She leaned over and gently kissed my cheek, then did the same with Dimitri.
"Goodnight." I managed to say before she disappeared. She'd obviously seen me after I'd lost him. Had I really been so heartbroken without him? And how the hell could we tell her we weren't together now? It would break her heart. I could never do that to her. She was so nice. She was caring and generous and I could tell how much she loved her family.
I silently entered the room. One bed! My inner voice groaned. Dimitri followed me inside, closing the door behind him.
"Thank you." He whispered.
"For what?" I turned to him.
"For not telling her about us," He replied with a sigh. "It was very generous of you."
"She's a nice woman." I replied, my eyes still locked on the bed. "I couldn't tell her, especially after what she said."
Dimitri's eyes followed mine and I caught a brief glimpse of his smile, "I can sleep on the floor." He said. The smile was gone, but I could still see it in his eyes. I tried to keep my own smile off my face. I'd feel guilty if I made him sleep on the floor…but if I shared a bed with him- well even the thought of that stirred up feelings I'd rather ignore. Even if I didn't remember most of what happened between us he was still one of the most attractive men I had ever seen. I couldn't be responsible for what happened around him.
"It's fine." I replied. Maybe I could sleep on the floor instead. Or at the end of the bed. Geez, I was just naming all the places a dog would sleep.
He stood awkwardly in front of me, "So…" He began to speak, "Did you get any memories back about them yet?" I was shocked to realise that I hadn't. Usually it would take just a little moment similar to one I'd previously experienced and the memories would flood in. Now, there was nothing. It was really weird.
"No," I replied, confused, "No I didn't."
"What are you going to do when you get back all your memories?" He questioned. His eyes bore into mine. He was once again completely serious and guarded. It was odd how he could change so quickly.
"I don't know." I shrugged. "I don't even know how bad they were." Dimitri would know. He would remember everything I couldn't. But I couldn't ask him, could I?
"I broke your heart." Dimitri replied. He looked ashamed. "I couldn't stand seeing you once I was a Dhampir again. Every time I looked at you I was reminded of what I had become when I was awakened. I hurt you." His eyes were filled with sadness and regret, "I physically hurt you and I can never forgive myself for that."
I took a step closer to him, gently placing a hand on his arm. "I forgive you for that." His skin felt warm, "Now you have to forgive yourself."
"You don't even remember it." He replied. His eyes were locked on my hand, the one that was placed on his arm. "How can you forgive me when you don't even remember what happened?" His voice sounded desperate and I could see tears beginning to form in his eyes. For the first time I could actually see the heartache he felt through his eyes, and it was devastating. I wanted to make it go away, but no words seemed to help.
"I forgive you because I can see what a good person you are." I answered, "I can see the love you have for me in your every action; so I know you would never hurt me, not if you had a choice. And you didn't have a choice. You have to stop feeling bad for something which you had no control over. Even if I did remember I know with absolute certainty that I would still forgive you."
"I wish you could just remember all the good, and none of the bad." He said softly. "It would break my heart to lose you again."
I suddenly realised how close we were standing. My hand was still resting on his arm and our gazes were still locked. I felt like the whole world slowed down. And then the air around me seemed to shimmer and I almost let out a groan; I guess it was memory time.
Dimitri stood in front of me.
I was shocked when I realised he was a Strigoi. I was remembering being held captive. I felt fear…or past me did anyway. Dimitri gazed down at me like a hunter. He eyed me hungrily. I was shocked to see lust in his eyes…or as close to lust as an evil undead creature can get. As soon as I noticed this he leaned closer, his lips touching mine. I closed my eyes and felt his lips brush gently against mine. I was shocked to realise they weren't cold…in fact his lips were warm. His hand slid up my back, causing a moan to escape from my lips. He felt warm pressed against me.
And then he pulled back, staring down at me…
And he was normal again. Dimitri. Just a Dhampir Dimitri.
I realised I'd been pulled from my memory…because he kissed me!
"I-" I muttered. I had nothing else to say after that though. What was I supposed to say? My eyes were drawn to his lips; they were so full. I could still feel my lips tingling from where his had just been. His arm was still wrapped around me, holding me close to him and his eyes seemed to be blazing with desire. I knew it would be a bad idea to kiss him, or to be in a situation like this with him at all. I still hadn't got my memories back. I didn't remember what had caused me to forget him in the first place, so this was a horrible idea. I knew that, and I knew he would know that deep down too.
Walk away, the reasonable part of my brain demanded, Go to bed and sleep it off. It sounded like the most logical idea. I knew it could be disastrous if we prolonged this moment any further.
"We should go to bed," I spoke, thankfully, in a steady voice.
His arm dropped from around me, leaving me feeling cold. "Yeah," He shook his head, "Uh, we should." His eyes were filled with disappointment…but also understanding. So much understanding. He was always so understanding with me, no matter what it was about. His eyes were also filled with love…an overwhelming amount of love with caused my chest to tighten. His eyes were still filled with longing, desire. I could see all his emotions so clearly. It was too much to take in.
He walked over to the bed, finally breaking eye contact with me. I took a deep breath, finally able to breathe again.
I turned toward the bed, watching as he gently pulled back the blankets.
"I can sleep on the floor if you'd like." He turned to look at me again, giving me a small smile.
"Sleep wherever you'd like." I replied, sounding too polite and formal. At least now he had the option to sleep in the bed or on the floor. He'd feel too awkward next to me in bed, so at least I wouldn't have to tell him to sleep on the floor.
He nodded as I walked towards the bed. He stepped back to allow me more room.
"Thanks for asking me to come here," I said, reluctantly meeting his eyes again. "It's a beautiful country and your family are amazing. You're lucky to have them."
He nodded. "Goodnight, Roza." His voice sounded husky and I could faintly hear his Russian accent laced underneath his words. My heartbeat seemed to increase, just slightly. His eyes bore into mine once again and they were conveying every emotion he was feeling; love, desire, longing, regret, guilt, sadness…
I'll never be sure what possessed me to kiss him, but I did. I could tell he was shocked, but after a second he begun kissing me back. His arm wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him. His other hand slid up my back, winding into my hair at the base of my neck. My hands made their way to his chest. I could feel the hard muscle underneath, and I could feel the tempo of his heartbeat, racing in time with mine. As the kiss deepened the whole world seemed to drop away, leaving only me and Dimitri locked in an eternal embrace.
LONGEST CHAPTER EVER FOR THIS STORY… I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I definitely enjoyed writing it! So review and let me know what you thought! :D And sorry for the long time in between updates…too much Uni work and too little time :( But thankfully I finished all six assessments for this week…and I'll definitely try and update again as soon as I possibly can!
REVIEEEEEEEEW! :D
