A/N: I like to think that there's more to Gillian than The Lightman Group, and that she has her own private life that she doesn't care to talk about. And since I've been in a serious writing drought for the past few months, I thought I'd attempt at breaking back into the habit by exploring a little bit of that life of hers.


Mark

"Our accountant says we can't make payroll next week."

"Terrific, start the layoffs then."

"The situation is serious, and keeping your daughter here as buffer is not going to keep me from yelling until I get through to you!"

-Gillian and Cal, "Teacher and Pupils"

It took me three years to find out that Gillian Foster was a deception expert.

She would just sit there, watching us, waiting her turn as the group discussed everything from Dante to Dan Brown, and never once gave a hint that Gillian could see all our secrets. She'd just nod quietly, fold her hands over one impeccable outfit after another, and occasionally try to hide a smile the way a woman does.

We all knew that she was a psychologist, but I'd assumed that Gillian didn't want to talk about work because she spent her days listening to patients gripe about their childhoods. I had no idea that the confidentiality she hid behind was the federal sort, or that she would sneak in chapters of Wicked in between crime scenes instead of reading on lunch breaks like the rest of us.

We were heading home after a great discussion on The Kite Runner when I felt a pull on my suit coat, and there she was, asking if we could stop somewhere for coffee. I'm not stupid. I'd noticed when that wedding ring disappeared. I had it memorized a long time ago.

It was a little bit of a let down when I found out why she wanted to talk, but only a little. When you're a stock broker, having people ask you for financial advice is something of an occupational hazard. You get used to it. And if that's what brings Gillian to the table, then that's what brings Gillian to the table.

It was hard for her to dish out the details, but that's the kind of woman she is: mysterious. Private. Shy. It took a whole five minutes of small talk spoken directly into her mocha before she came out with it. Deception detection. Vocal patterns. And, of course, financial hardship. I didn't get it at first. It seemed like a gold mine, and when you get that kind of respectability, you can really rake in the dough if you have the right business model. Gillian sure seemed to know what she was doing, so it just didn't make sense. She had to be leaving something out.

And that's when Gillian told me about him. Her partner. Mr. Name-on-the-Door. Those guys are my bread and butter, and they're all the same. Cocky. Arrogant. Impulsive. It wasn't until she unraveled the entire soap opera of ex-wives and heiresses that I really started feeling for her. This guy she works with has to be the biggest jerk that ever breathed, gambling away her company like that, after she'd most likely built it from the ground up while he picked his teeth and put on a grand show. That's the way it usually works.

I almost told her everything right there. I almost told her that she was the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen. I almost told her that I would have quit book club years ago if it wasn't for her. And in a moment of stupidity, I almost told her that sometimes I liked to close my eyes and just listen to the sound of her voice.

And that was when I saw it. Gillian tensed up and backed away, like she could hear what I was thinking, and then I realized—she could. This was right in Gillian's wheelhouse. I might as well have told her everything.

I almost choked on my espresso.

There was a sadness in her eyes at that moment, something different than the embarrassment she'd shown earlier when she'd talked about making ends meet. It was as if she wasn't even surprised. And that's when I really understood Gillian. Three years of sitting in a circle with her once a week, and I finally knew her.

I'd been in love with Gillian since the first day I met her, and it took me three years to find out that she's always known.


The second half of this will be coming soonish! And don't worry, I'm still working on the other ones I've promised. It's just talking a little time. :)