"Anger, repressed, can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words." ~Joyce Brothers
12. Pt. 3
The heavy scent of wet dirt watered my mouth and the coolness of the air tickled deep in my nostrils. The grass compressed in a watered down mush beneath my boots, a disturbing thought in my mind, but I didn't want to turn back because of cold feet, literally.
The shorter route proved it's worth, I arrived within minutes. Much to my delight, your bedroom window was still glowing bright and slightly open.
How was to I make the approach? Knock on your window? There's a great chance you will not answer. Call you and have you come down? Another chance you'll deny my call.
The tree proved to be a greater challenge than your rejected calls. The branches were slippery, brown of the bark embed between my finger nails, and the narrow branches slapped my face with wet droplets. The branch that hung low, just mere feet from your window, was covered in wet leaves, the final obstacle. The wet leaves glided from beneath my boots, causing me to stumble an awkward dance across the branch and onto the roof. Much to my misfortune, the roof was much slicker than the branches; My feet slid from beneath and I grabbed for your window seal.
"Edd?" You opened your window wider.
"I have that comic book I borrowed."
As ridiculous as the conversation starter was, you rubbed your lips together in attempt to hide a smile.
"I want to apologize for being an ass. I didn't take your feelings into consideration. My stupid ego got in the way of what was important." My fingers ached, my grip slacked. "Kevin, I really can't keep hold any longer, I'm slipping."
"I don't know. You look like you're having fun there."
"Kevin please!"
"Alright, fine." You leaned forward, gripping the window frame and the shoulder of my coat. With all your might, you pulled. "Geez! What did you eat? A whole shark?"
I cringed at soaked shirt and jeans but glad that I was no longer on that cold roof top.
You sat on your bed, arms crossed and frowning. Cute, I thought. You obviously wanted an explanation.
"I assume you want me to start?" I rubbed the coolness of my coat. You nodded, your unruly ginger hair bobbed. I felt exposed, uncertain where to lean or to pocket my hands in wet pockets. "I cannot blame you for anything. I blame myself, for getting to know you, for falling for you, for being an open book. I'm not saying I want us to end, I'm saying, I want to understand you better, so I won't fuck up like I did."
You were silent.
"I don't understand your home situation completely Kevin. I'm aware of what's going on but I don't know how to react or support you through it."
"You're doing plenty."
"How?" Confusion littered my train of thought. I exposed your weakness and now you say I'm doing plenty.
Grabbing my dirty hands, you wiped off the grime with a towel. "You're patient and listen to what I have to say." You plucked the twigs from my hair and beanie, and took my dirtied coat. "It means a lot when someone important to me listens. Also, I'm repetitive, but your patience means a lot. It relieves the pressure and makes me feel happier."
You left the bedroom. Leaving me to my thoughts. You're terrified and I exposed your weakness, and now- Now what?
Returning, you handed me a pile of clothing, stating that those were the largest pajamas you owned. They fit loose and left me wondering how'd you look in a size x-large.
"Spend the night. Since you're ready for bed." You tossed a blanket over my head. It was the plush galaxy themed blanket, your favorite.
This felt intimate; sleeping in the same bed, separated by our designated blankets and pillows.
