A new chapter, just cause I lurv you guys.

**

"What in the Sacred Realm is wrong with him?" Mordred sounds almost… concerned, which is completely crazy not to mention a little creepy. Using that tone makes him sound almost like a person. Well, I guess, technically (only technically) he is one. He's just a fucked up and broken down version that shows perverted and sadistic tendencies. But biologically he seems to have the right stuff. He's certainly frisky enough.

"I'm not sure. He was fine a few seconds ago." Leroi sounds worried too, but he seems to be like that. I noticed earlier today that the girl had a bandage wrapped around her head. I think that was Leroi. Maybe he thinks he's a vet. Gotta keep the chattel alive.

My stomach attempts to perform another trapeze stunt and my observations are cut short. Leroi starts vigorously rubbing my back. I have no idea what he's trying to do. Does rubbing someone's back really cure anything? I don't actually think so. I guess I'll ask Dr. Lohan the next time I see him. Shit I'm distracted. My brain won't shut up and watch.

Anyway, it doesn't help what's wrong with me. I retch, sacrificing the remnants of my measly lunch to the forest floor. Leroi holds my hair back as I gag, my body trying to expel the contents of a now empty stomach. Maybe I'm overdue for a trim. If I cut my hair then maybe everyone will figure out I'm a guy.

"Shit! He's pretty sick. What are we going to do?" I am eased onto my side and I feel a large hand on my forehead. "He's burning up too. What are we going to do?"

Well, there are really only a few options.

1. They can try and shift the saddlebags or move the girl around and put me on a horse again. Possible flaws. I'm running a high fever and demonstrating severe nausea. Since it seems I need to be presented to this "Lord Agunim" character in good health instead of half dead this idea is less than favorable. Plus with the state I'm in and the fact that we are in a forest it probable won't save them any time.

2. Someone could carry me. Possible flaws. I may be light but I am not that light. They'd have to keep switching me around and whoever was stuck carrying me risked the danger of being unpleasantly adorned. Plus they probably think this is contagious.

3. They could make camp somewhere and wait for me to get better, at least well enough to travel. The biggest danger in this situation is it gives whatever pursuers we may or may not have a chance to catch up.

But apparently it is worth the risk. Mordred motions Toni, Kerri and Buck to him. "We need a defensible place to camp. I want you all to scout out a direction and return here by nightfall. I'll take south." I'm surprised to hear that the big boss man is willing to help out with such menial chores. "Whoever finds the best position will receive part of Keif's cut." Oh greed, how doth we love thee. I can see the faces all splitting in to matching grins. Mordred doesn't even wait to see who's going where. He just marches off, fading into the forest.

It doesn't take long for the rest of the group to follow suit. The hardest part was deciding who had to take north. We had just come from that direction, so any location found would be seen as less favorable. Toni gets stuck with it, one of the others throwing out how its safer for someone who was beaten up by a girl to travel a road they already know. Ironically I think it's Jeeves. I can hear Toni's dark mutterings for quite some time after he marches off.

That leaves me, Leroi, Jeeves, Fadric and the girl. I really need to find out her name, or at least give her a label more flattering than "the girl." Later. Focus. I have maybe three hours to do this.

The girl is still trapped draped around the horse. All three of them have been tied to branches and the two carrying saddlebags are sitting down, resting peacefully under the strange light of the forest. The one she is on is still standing, flicking his tail from side to side.

Leroi places something soft under my head, giving me a bit of a pillow as I lay on my side. He covers me his jacket. I make sure to keep trembling anyway.

I lie there for what seems like forever, trembling and occasionally moaning. The moan is important. It helps them remember that I'm a wuss.

And that is worrying Leroi. I can tell. His hand is on my forehead again and he's mumbling to himself. I bet that if I were to kick off it would be his head and not Mordred's that would be sent flying. And he knows it.

"Fadric, go fetch a bucket of water." Perfect.

Well, almost perfect. Fadric whines a bit. "Where the hell will I get water from?"

"We passed a small stream not too far back. It's not like I need it to drink. I have to find a way to bring the boy's fever down. If he'd dead by the time Mordred gets back I'm just going to explain that you wouldn't cooperate with my trying to save the boy." Fadric snorts in response. I can't see his face from here, but I guess he doesn't look convinced because Leroi keeps at it. "Not to mention how Lord Agunim will take it. He was very insistent about alive. Do you really think we'll get paid for ruined merchandise?"

Fadric snorts again but I guess he can't think of a good argument because he's rummaging through the packs, looking for a container. It takes him a bit to find one and then he too disappears into the wilderness.

And then there were two.

I let out another moan, this one wheezing a bit. Leroi is right by my side, fingering the collar around my neck. I wince every time he touches the surrounding skin. That helps him make up his mind. He rolls me onto my back and undoes the blasted thing and I take a deep breath. My luck seems to be on the good side today. I had no idea how to take that blasted thing off.

"Is it really okay to be doing that?" Jeeves bends over me, his head right above my mine.

"Illness causes the neck to swell. We need him breathing. Plus he's too weak to do anything."

They are times when you just know when the perfect moment is.

I kick up my legs and roll up onto my shoulders, hooking my ankles behind Jeeves' ears, then use gravity in combination with my legs and back to throw him sprawling at my feet. The momentum carries me to a standing position. I immediately spin and kick a surprised Leroi in the face. He had leaned back to avoid Jeeves' shoulder but I think what was happening still eluded him. Also excellent.

The kick didn't have enough force to do any serious damage, but it stuns him for a few precious seconds. I plow into his side, my hand groping at his belt.

Then he's fighting back, pushing me off. I go stumbling backwards but manage to keep my feet beneath me. And in my hands I carry my prize.

Oh yeah! I have his sword. That means I win! They might not know it but I totally just won this fight.

Leroi snarls as he sees what's in my hand. He draws his dagger rushes me, not evening bothering to try and evaluate me. I side step and swing the blade clumsily. I can't grip it right with my wrists tied together.

Thank goodness Nayru didn't bless this guy. I guess Leroi thought that I would freeze up the moment he rushed me, so he didn't even try to dodge as I swung. The flat of the blade caught him in the face, sending him to dream land for at least a while. Hurray for me.

Then Jeeves is on his feet again. He pulls his own sword and circles me warily. I watch him, feeling slightly dizzy as I am forced to spin to watch his movements. I lower my sword a bit to try and steady myself.

Noting my weakness he moves in, sword swinging. I barely get my weapon up in time to parry. The forest goes silent as the metallic ringing chimes. But Jeeves doesn't stop. He swings low, trying to take out my legs. I angle my sword and point the tip to the ground. His blade is forced to slide towards the ground. I stomp on the weapon, pinning it between my boot and the soft floor of the forest.

Then I pummel him in the face.

When I was learning to use a sword the key thing that was reinforced over and over again, no matter who my teacher was, was that every part of the weapon was a weapon. The tip is for stabbing, the edge for slicing, the flat for bludgeoning and even the cross guard can be used for used for gouging.

And the pummel was for pummeling.

**

AN-The thing Link did to Jeeves totally works. Someone was standing over me one day poking me in the head and I really did throw them like that. It was sooo awesome.

And the sword trivia is also true. I took a theatrical swordplay demo once and this was all covered. That and the edges of swords weren't actually sharp, except for the top three inches of the blade. But my sword has sharp edges. This is a fantasy story.