Chapter 12

Later

The word floated around in Jacks head, tormenting him. He had been pacing and fidgeting all day, not sure what to do with himself.

How long should he wait until it's 'later'? A day? A week? Should he call her now or go see her? 'No' he thought as he paced around his lounge, 'she just lost her dad yesterday, she doesn't want to talk about this just now!'

Does she?

Jack had dropped Sam and Cassie back at Sams' place yesterday evening. Both of them had been exhausted and Sam had been anxious to call her brother. Jack hadn't felt that the time was right for them to have that talk and so now he was wondering just how much time he should give her. She had been the one to suggest they talk so maybe he should let her make the move? Still he was worried about her anyway and really wanted to see her, or even just talk to her. Maybe he should just call, see how she's doing?

He stopped his pacing and picked up the phone that was sitting on the table in front of him. He dialled Sams number before he could change his mind, again. This was the fifth time he had started to call her.

"Hello?" Cassie's answered the phone on her way out the kitchen.

"Hey Cass, it's Jack. How you doing?"

"I'm ok Jack." She plonked down on the sofa and started nibbling the sandwich she had just made. 'About time he called' she thought to herself.

"Good. Sam, how is she? She ok?"

Cassie smiled, she would bet money that Jack had been sitting by the phone all day wondering when to call. "She's doing ok. She was quite upset when she spoke to Mark last night and then again when Pete called but I guess that's understandable."

"Pete called?"

Cassie smirked, "Yeah, don't worry. He was just calling to see how Jacob was doing. Wanted to come over and comfort her I think, but Sam told him no. She's gone out for a run now."

"Typical Carter. Only she could think torrential rain was good weather to go running in."

"Yeah, well you know Sam. She said she needed to clear her head. Mark and his family will be here soon. They were supposed to come yesterday, you know, for the wedding, but Sam called and told him she called it off the day before. When she called him last night he decided they would come out today, help Sam with the funeral arrangements and stuff."

"Good, it's good for her to have family around at a time like this."

"Would be good for her to have you around too Jack." Cassie replied in a tone that made her sound far too much like Janet.

Jack sighed, "Cass, as much as I'd love to be there for her just now, I can't help but feel I would just complicated things for her. She's just called off her wedding, which was supposed to be today remember, and she's just lost her father. She does not need me to confuse things even more!"

"I'm not asking you to come over and have a serious conversation about your relationship Jack, I'm just asking you to be here as her friend. If she wants to talk serious with you then she will, at least if you're here she knows she has the option."

Jack snorted and shook his head, how was it a teenager knew exactly what he needed to do and he didn't? "When the hell did you get so smart kid?"

Cassie just smiled and said "Sam left about an hour ago, she'll probably be back soon. I'll see you in an hour." With that she hung up the phone before he could argue.

Jack sighed and sat the phone back down on the table. Cassie was right he should be there for her as a friend just now, wasn't that what he had promised Jacob? He walked to his back door and stepped out onto the porch. Sitting down on a chair with a creak of his knees, he sighed again and put his head in his hands. So much had happened these past few days, this was not how he was expecting to be spending this Saturday. He had been expecting to be watching the one woman he had loved since his divorce get married to another man. Instead, he was sitting wondering when exactly would be the best time to go and tell said woman that he was in love with her. 'Now that was a turn around', he thought. Running a hand over his face, he sat back and watched the rain cascade off his porch roof.

"Great day for a wedding eh?!"

Jack looked up, startled out of his thoughts by the voice. Sam was leaning against the post at the top of the steps to his porch looking up at the sky. She was soaked through to the skin.

"Yeah, beautiful day." Jack frowned at her sudden appearance and then, taking in her soaking wet form, his frown deepened, "You're soaked."

Sam just smiled. "I didn't mean to come here. I just, I was thinking about you, and, well…" She looked at him and smiled softly. "I, uh, I was thinking, when I was running, about things, you know, Dad, Pete, you, and I, well, I…" Sam suddenly stopped babbling and looked at Jack wide eyed. "You are alone aren't you?"

Jack almost laughed at the sheer look of panic on her face. Instead, he stood up and walked over to stand in front of her, looking her in the eyes, "Yeah, I'm alone," he answered her, smiling.

His eyes told Sam more than the words ever could. She smiled back and gave a short laugh of relief. "Sorry, deja-vu." Sam gave an involuntary shiver, unsure if it was due to the fact she was dripping wet or that Jack was inches away.

"You're shivering," Jack stated. "Come inside and get dried off." He indicated the door with his head and moved to open it for her.

"No, wait." Sam caught his elbow to stop him. "I need to say this, now. While it's in my head, before I lose my nerve." Her blue eyes pleaded with him to listen.

He moved back to stand in front of her, he was sure Sam would be able to hear the thud of his heart beating now. He knew that whatever Sam was about to say now would be likely to change their relationship for good. Whether is would be for better or worse, he wasn't sure. He swallowed, and when he spoke his voice was a low whisper. "I'm listening."

Sam turned to look at the garden and took a deep breath. She knew she had to say this now. She didn't want to wait for a more 'appropriate' time. She couldn't.

"When I imagined myself getting married, I always imagined I would be so much more in love. But it was never with Pete that I imagined myself marrying." She shook her head. "I couldn't marry Pete because I didn't love him as much as I felt I should have. I couldn't marry him because he wasn't you." Sam turned back and looked at Jack. His face was unreadable but she thought she saw something in his dark eyes. "I'm not saying that I love you more than I loved Pete, 'cause, to be honest I don't know." She started to pace now, gesturing wildly. "I've never allowed myself to freely love you the way I did with Pete. The way I tried to with Pete. I've, I've always been too scared for that. So I pretended it was nothing. Just a crush, or maybe just the love you have for a good friend. Eventually it was just part of who I was, who I am. Buried so deep under all that pretence that I wasn't sure what it was I was feeling anymore. But I'm done pretending. I'm so tired of hiding who I really am. I know now that I do love you, I don't where it might go, but I know this," Sam stopped pacing and looked into those brown eyes, "I wanna find out."

Jacks head was spinning as he tried to process everything that had just come out her mouth. His own mouth was hanging slightly open and he struggled to find something to say, anything. Willing his mouth and brain to work, preferably together. But no, instead they just made him do a good impression of a goldfish.

Sam started to panic. Had she gotten it all wrong? Did he not feel the same about her? Was this the wrong time? Should she have waited? Doubts started to fill up her mind. "You don't have to say anything." She said quickly. "I just wanted you to know how I feel. I'm not asking you for anything, I'm not asking you to marry me or take me straight to bed." At this Jacks mouth fell open wider and his eyebrows rose ever so slightly. "I mean, I know this probably sounds stupid and impulsive, I mean, I was supposed to be marrying someone else. Today!" Sam gestured around her shaking her head. "But I had to, I," she looked up at Jack, "I'm sorry." The last words came out as a whisper and with that Sam turned around and half walked half ran from Jacks backyard.

The sudden realisation that Sam wasn't there anymore seemed to kick start Jacks brain into action again. 'Why the hell are you just standing here O'Neill?!' He cursed to himself and headed after her.

"Sam!"

He caught up with her round the front of his house. "Wait." He grabbed her by the arm, "please!"

"You don't have to say anything now, Jack. I understand if you want to think." Although she sounded in control Jack was sure that it wasn't just rain running down her cheeks.

"Let me talk now, ok? Especially since you've now got me standing out in this oh so lovely weather. And I haven't even got shoes on!" He finished, indicating his feet.

Sam glanced down at his sodden wet socks and laughed. She smiled up at him and echoed Jacks earlier words, "I'm listening."

"I uh, I don't think your being stupid or impulsive. Well," he caught a raindrop as it dripped off the end of her nose, "maybe slightly stupid in running all the way over here in the pissing rain, but I'll let that one slide." He shrugged and Sam ducked her head and smiled sheepishly. Both of them were now soaked through. "It's been a helluva week eh? I'm not exactly the best with words, I don't really know what to say to your little confession back there," he indicated over his shoulder with his thumb, "but I will say this…" Jack took hold of one of Sams hands and squeezed it, "I really want to see where it could go too. God knows I love you Sam."

Sam let out the breath she didn't even realise she had been holding and smiled one of 'those' smiles. She squeezed his hand and allowed him to pull her into a tight hug. Sam pulled back slightly and asked quietly, "Maybe later, after, you know, things have settled down you can take me out to dinner?" She smiled and quickly looked away, "It's just a thought."

Jack took her chin and tuned her face up towards his. "I would love to." He answered. "Later, after, you know…" He pushed a wet strand of hair back from her eyes and gently stroked her cheek. "For now, I'm just going to be here, as a friend. Whenever you need me."

Sam nodded and smiled shyly at him. "Thank you." She whispered as she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Jack smiled and then cleared his throat. "Well Carter, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm just a little bit damp," Sam laughed out loud, he was way past 'a little bit damp'. "So I'm going to go back inside and get out of these clothes and warm up. Would you like to do the same?" He indicated towards the house. His eyes suddenly went wide as he realised what he said. "No! No, I mean, I didn't," he sputtered, "Oh you know what I meant." He huffed, taking in her obvious amusement at his discomfort.

Sam laughed and said, "Yes Jack, dry clothes and a coffee would be great."

Jack smirked back at her and ushered her up the path to his front door.

"So Carter, just to clarify, exactly how long is 'later'?"

The End?

A/N: Well, I think that's all I've got. I have a couple of ideas for an epilogue but I'm not sure. Let me know if you want one or if you have any ideas! Hope you enjoyed reading this and thanks to all who reviewed. I really appreciate it!