Ω
Vacating the mansion had done wonderful things to her spirit and mental state. More than ever, she could wallow in passion with her dear one without interruptions. They had spent time together incompliant and deeply infatuated. As growling clouds dispersed rain in the forest, Shizuka fixed her silk robe on her shoulder and the thunderclouds ignited. She had sensed the previous night that her nephew wasn't doing well. His mood was grim and shallow than the stormy weather. As if her suspicion wasn't clear enough, the front door slung open. Usually against visiting the cottage, though alone, Kaname had never look as formidable and unlike his insouciant self.
Shizuka lounged back in a chair, undaunted by the melancholy Kaname emitted. "What brings you here? You always hated the thought of interrupting us but lucky for you, I sensed you coming and asked Haru to step out."
Kaname's ire escaladed despite his calm demeanor. "Oji-san will be here soon."
Shizuka muffled her laughter behind a hand and stared at the dead fireplace. "I know you're not here to warn me." Her silvery eyes fluttered over his rigid shoulders and clenched hands. "Is it…that girl again?"
His guarded expression didn't flinch. "I'm subject to your method of protecting something crucial by erasing its' whereabouts entirely and locking it in a cage."
"My poetry is not as acute as yours, dear." Shizuka drawled, "But I'm obliged to tell you that rumors are bound to spread. Maria updated me on last night's dinner and I thoroughly refuse giving you away to that wretched woman." She sneered.
"Your opinion of her is susceptible from resentment for your husband." Kaname reminded.
Shizuka squinted her eyes at him endearingly. "I'd recognize that look anywhere." Clamping her hands on the armrest, she briefly appeared ready to stand but held herself still. "Numbed and uncaring, who are you fooling, Kaname? You should have your wits beforehand if you want to talk to me. Your…that girl came by earlier. Seems Haru and she get along better than I thought." His brows tensed above expressionless eyes. Shizuka waved placatingly. "She didn't linger and avoided me efficiently. I'd give her credit but what intrigues me most are her abilities."
Kaname approached the mantle in slow, graceful steps. Hand skating on the cracked stones, he studied the abrasive marks. "You are similar."
She scoffed musically and set her cheek on the back of her hand, regarding his turned back, aware he didn't care for detailed deliberation. "Are you resorting to locking her up from spies forever?"
Kaname stared forlornly at the floor. "It will not please Sara."
Shizuka raised a brow. "You still plan to marry her? I won't forgive you if you let that rat in the family." His smirk was aloof, as if he weren't paying attention or had nothing to respond with. "What incited me to isolate Haru was fear, not for myself but of loss. And it was reasonable for I love him. What does she mean to you? Kurosu Yuuki."
Determinedly Kaname eyed the cracked walls. "…I want to keep her." He slowly whispered with aimless hope.
Her skeptic gaze fell to her hands, "But the way she demanded to see Haru earlier, that desperation denotes she wants escape. This is not a suggestion but an order, Kaname, she is a sacrifice—kill her now!"
"I can't."
"You can."
His fingers squeezed a vase on the table by her chair, "She is no criminal."
"The curse claims she is." Shizuka urged. "Letting her live will lead you to an unpromising future as King."
"She wants death too." Kaname murmured, "And I denied her as long as I could."
"Disable her completely, remember that she is a Kurosu."
"—A name meaningful to me than my council." Kaname's brutal stare narrowed on her profile. "How amusing, you were in my shoes several centuries ago with your lover's life in your hands. Yet you didn't take the risk."
"Of course not," Shizuka evenly met his disarming glare. "I'd rather have him than your dishonorable oji-san."
"A low-leveled vampire?"
She scrutinized him piercingly, undeterred by mockery. "My reason was love, what's yours?"
The vase shattered on the table, pieces flinging across the floor and carpet. Kaname's hanging hand brushed the armrest. Catching on the unremitting silence, Shizuka melodically chuckled. "She's a Kurosu, worse than a low-leveled vampire." Her ridiculing stare cooled. "And you are your own worst enemy ever since she came into the picture."
Ω
Beyond the stoned stairs, hidden in the vapid darkness, awaited the double oak doors of the chapel. Staring stolid through the dark entry, he couldn't help feeling regret for not acting efficiently. If he had, Sara's schemes wouldn't draw him to meet with her in the day. He could almost see the crude disapproval spreading in Shizuka's face for agreeing to meet. At the sight of two burning candles at the altar, Kaname's was seized by the arms of disconcert.
Calmly striding to the end of the isle, he articulated the scents of area. Soft denseness of forest, aged furniture, maids and the wafting smoke from the candle, none implied her scent and he assumed she purposely wanted him to wait. Gazing at the flourishing colors of the rose windows, Kaname was reminded quaintly of his childhood.
Sara and he were alike as children. Her late parent's had approached Kirrin and Sora regarding the arranged marriage.
'What do you say?'
'About?'
'It's a matter of uniting two prestigious families. How can you not care? Especially when the Kuran bloodline will later fall in your control. We don't have a large family. Succession is mandatory, not only for the Crown but your mother and I'd very much like to see some grandchildren before we turn to dust. Hah.'
Sora circled her arm around his neck, kissing his temple. 'Don't worry, Kaname, you don't need to decide yet.'
'But oto-chan just—' Searching their eyes, Kaname fumbled for words. 'Marriage is too broad and life altering. I'd have to promise myself to one person for eternity. And…' He hesitated from speaking openly to his parent's. 'I want to love her solely.'
Sora's brows leapt in obvious amazement, hearing her young son speak maturely made her beam. 'Kaname, I'm glad you're taking it seriously.'
'Sara Shirabuki is a delight.' Kirrin smiled gregariously at his son. 'Can you love her?'
Stunned by the question, Kaname eyed them widely. 'You want an answer now?'
'What did you expect?' Chuckled Kirrin.
'Don't rush him!' Sora rebuked, watching the two flinch. 'He isn't old enough to take on these decisions.'
Kirrin let his shimmering red eyes linger generously on his wife. 'And why not? Let him have a look at Sara, he won't have a reason to refuse.'
Moving away from Kaname, Sora strode toward him and leaned over, pinching his cheek. 'My dear, this is your son's life we're talking about. Looks and prestige harbor no weight in the grand of schemes. And I certainly don't want a daughter-in-law who has no brain or soul.'
Kirrin sucked in a short breath, his amused eyes yet to leave hers. 'There's something seductive when my cute wife tells me off.'
Kaname's brow twitched at the transpiring scene and his blushing mother who escaped Kirrin's impenetrable clutches.
'Hmph,' Sora straightened with her hands on her hips. 'Let Kaname put off the decision for the time being. It's too soon.'
'Why?' Kirrin reached her hand, ultimately drawing her on his lap. 'I was 500 when I knew I wanted none but you.'
Her eyes narrowed knowingly. 'As if you had a choice.'
'Well…' Kirrin purred against her chin, and snuck a glance at his vigilant son. 'Close your eyes Kaname.'
'Mhm. I take this is bad timing then.' The voice was carried from the open door of the living room. He whirled on his heel in one graceful movement and skated back to the door.
Sora jumped off Kirrin's lap excitedly. 'Kaoru!'
Kirrin covered the secret smile on his mouth and looked away in dismay. Kaname raptly strode to the door but was no match for his stupendously energetic mother.
She galloped him affectionately. 'Good job coming in, we're having a council. I was convincing Kirrin to stop forcing Kaname into a marriage proposal he isn't ready for—Onward with the debate!'
Kaoru's sandy hair shimmered in the dim light. Meeting the King's amused eyes, he bowed to his waist. 'My respect to you, Ousama, but I'm told by my mother that a man should always pay close attention to a woman's wise words, especially his significant other.'
Kirrin grinned at the man, a fond twinkle forming in his ruby eyes. 'I, too have heard my share of wise words, but being prompt about these things is imperative. Kaname won't stress later.'
'Not unless his heart wavers for someone else.' Kaoru winked at Kaname.
'For some reason, I can't see that halo of yours anymore, Kaoru.' Kirrin smirked, 'How'd I not know? They were horns! Come here.' He gestured to the empty place on his settee.
Kaoru rubbed the back of Kaname's head. 'On my way here, I saw one pretty thing in the dining hall. Woo…' He grabbed his chest and blinked. 'Almost fainted.'
'She is dangerously beautiful.' Kirrin agreed.
'Leave it to Kaname.' Sora reminded loudly, sitting delicately on Kirrin's armrest. 'His decision is what counts.'
Kaoru turned to look at the subject for a moment. 'Yea, but my Yuuki is ten times better!' He grinned animatedly. 'How about it, Kaname?'
'It'd be something else if she wasn't a baby.' Sora softly laughed.
'Well, I'll be happy to remind you,' Kaoru met her eyes mischievously, 'That babies do grow into smart, loveable, gorgeous creatures like Yuuki will. Of course, I'm bias since we share the same blood and seeing how great Kaname and I get along, she'll suit him!'
Kirrin studied his dumfounded son. 'Don't stand quiet, we'd like to know what you're thinking.'
'Do I have to choose?' Kaname mumbled, dropping in a chair.
Kaoru stiffened, 'Sorry, but two-timing my sister is not allowed.'
Kaname rubbed his forehead in fatigue. 'No, I guess—I meant, do I have to choose now? Who exactly is Sara?'
'Do you want to meet her?' Kirrin suggested. 'She is charming.'
'Pretty ones like her are hard to forget.' Kaoru advised. 'I don't think you'd have to worry about falling out of love.'
Like Kaname had said, he needed to love and want his intended first or there was no reason to resume the matter of marriage. Although he meant largely to satisfy his father, his first meeting with Sara wasn't worth remembering. Kaoru's eventual death doomed all aspiring plans in his heart. His grieving parent's didn't repeat the marriage matter again. He had lost a trusted friend and mentor in Kaoru.
Though when he saw her large ruby eyes identical to Kaoru for the first time, Kaname tensed from a spiraling ache he hadn't known. At the funeral, looking innocent, Yuuki was already growing into a lovable and gorgeous girl like Kaoru claimed. His attraction plummeted out of sheer irritation once the silver-haired intervened. Kiryuu Zero nudged Yuuki back in precaution and Kaname merely sent his handkerchief her way out of sympathy. It took him by surprise that the intended sacrifice was no other than Yuuki. If it did any credit, despite it was a joke, Kaname hadn't forgotten the personable conversation of accepting her as wife regardless she was no pureblood. He was willing to agree for his friend only.
His vacant eyes lingered on the fragile candle. Lightly, Kaname brushed the warm stick with fingertips. Suddenly, her doleful crimson eyes sprang to mind, ensnaring mobility that he staggered to one knee at the altar.
'Am I not the one you want?'
Her calm yet afflicted eyes yielded secrets to the wind. He was able to read her tension in each movement. The invisible and trembling fists, faint grinding of her fangs to restrain emotion, the forgoing bouncing of her breathing chest, and the unforgettable anguish in fragile ruby eyes.
'No. You're not, Kaname.'
Kaname shuddered from a churlish sense of pessimism and clutched the side of his head.
Ω
She was too naïve, even Kaname said so. The need to fulfill expectations took control and she forgot herself in no time. How could she possibly wait any longer? A year sped and she had to leave the territory and the world. Yuuki scowled, she was beyond furious with herself. After her conversation with Kaname, she burst into the library and tore through every inch hunting for information on the Kuran King. Miraculously finding none, her safest bet was the book Kaname supplied for leisure reading: Joousama's Chronicles. Though the journal was wonderfully detailed, the previous Queen's habit of omitting names remained fruitless to Yuuki. She'd ask Takuma but he failed to show up in the day.
The dark suite was vacant, promising usual loneliness that agreed with her saturnine dilemma. With her wintry state of mind, she could have stayed locked in the suite, engulfed by his beguiling, masculine scent. Somehow, Yuuki didn't have the lighthearted grace of a heroine whose resilience allowed her to walk away from an unrequited predicament. She was downright realistic but unwise and unnecessarily lenient toward pain. Standing with her back pressed to the door in Kaname's room, she listened to her brisk heartbeat as her world was immersed in his lingering and powerful scent. She promised not to linger longer than necessary and was against walking further inside. Feeling her legs tremble, Yuuki sagged to the floor at once.
'All Pureblood Royalty eventually must marry another Pureblood. The tradition was here before us…'
Battling a surge of tears, Yuuki smudged her eyes with her hands. Who knew it'd be this lonely?
Dreaming about his inspiriting face, she decided prolonging her stay in the territory. Kaname never hindered her from attachment, simply guided her from forgetting about the curse. Always one to invite conversations about dreams and an ideal future, slowly Kaname intended to make her see there was a better half of the world she ran from. Inhaling aloud, she let her lungs thrive on his exotic smell, faintly recalling a similar scent belonging to the generous Senpai years ago.
The windowless room was damp and storming with his aura. On the nightstand were multiple papers. His desk was splashed with folders, drafts, and books. Curling a hand on her wet eyes, Yuuki scowled and stood up. She closed the door on her way out, setting her shoulder on the wall, one heel over the other ankle with her head bowed.
For centuries, oji-san lived alone in the forest without meeting his family but fortunately didn't mind the distance. Clasping the chain, Yuuki held her shaking breath. His circumstance was no different than hers, however, she couldn't stand it if her family considered her dead already. On her brief visit home, leaving hastily was the safest option to avoid stirring attention. She left without Kaname's knowledge as well. As for her confidants, Zero and Ichiru, Yuuki knew neither had the ability to inform the public. She had considered it for a while, before meeting oji-san, and with his encouragement, decided to actualize a lost hope.
Earlier, Yuuki visited the cottage and fortunately found the residents in a more appropriate position.
Oji-san wasn't surprised by her request and immediately agreed to help. "Remember, to see someone, having the desire is necessary." He set the pale chain in her possession.
"I remember," Yuuki thanked him and clasped the chain around her neck. The spell would only work if she requested to see the people from her life. She wasn't lucky enough to summon a spell to meet the King like she wanted. Yuuki calmly drew a deep breath. Feeling unusually lighter, she searched the brilliant field darkening with austere silence.
"Who is Yuuki seeking this time?" Oji-san's voice drifted from the black hood.
Looking away from his shadowed face, Yuuki gazed longingly at the clear sky, "I can smell the snow," Oji-san appeared perplexed by the remark and stroked the side of his jaw. She resumed light-heartedly, "Christmas is here, the season of mistletoe." A faint shudder crept in her heart. Composing herself, Yuuki pondered her words aloud. "I saw him in the winter. Ever since we parted, I've always wondered where he is."
"Hm," He stared amusedly skyward. "Now is perfect timing." Her secret grin merely confirmed his suspicion. "It's genuine in Yuuki's heart, the feelings from the past."
"Actually I humiliated myself last night," Her declaration was barely audible. "It's my last time ever loving someone, though I didn't expect reciprocation…" Her smile curled inward into a guilty frown. "I hope he'll live happily with her."
"Not only are you walking wounded but you're indifferent to your condition." Oji-san analyzed. "This way, they'll scar in time."
"I won't stay long." Yuuki answered confidently.
"I've never known a sacrifice so eager…to give in." Moving to her side, he brushed the back of her head, gently placating her turmoil heart. "It shows how deeply Yuuki is hurt. Go then, relieve your heart from this pain to your past and calm yourself." Oji-san urged kindly, "Had I been a victim to similar wounds, I too…would."
Biting down on her lip, she clenched the chain. Most of her life, she wondered about the nameless senpai who took her heart effortlessly. Having no clue where to search for him, Yuuki hated giving up. The constant reminder of the day was the fragile red scarf he offered. Without it, Yuuki would've believed it to be a some sort of a dream.
When oji-san encouraged her to seek something in her past to steady her aching heart, she may as well turn to the fated snowy day, where she basked in senpai's warm arms, safe from the storm. She would return in a timely manner, in fact, leave without meeting him. Her only motive was seeing him once more, if permissible, talk for a moment.
Ω
Slender hands slid on his back, stopping on his shoulders as her permeable rosy scent crept over him. Sara's sugary and delicate hands stayed him in place. "I often wondered what I'd do if I had you at my disposal. Waiting for you at the palace, I kept thinking these things." Brushing his dark hair, she chuckled, "Funny, now that you're here I forgot all the things I wanted to say."
Kaname cupped the hand on his right shoulder assuredly. "I never underestimated you. If you forgot why we are meeting, I can gladly remind you."
"What's this?" Titling his head back, Sara exposed his unusually perturbed eyes. "Did you come with more eagerness than I? Not possible, considering it's been me waiting on you for half a year. You weren't lying when you said you wouldn't see me."
"Clearly I was considerate of you."
"Oh, you were?" She grinned, releasing his face. "Than allow me to impose on you. I want to extend our meeting as long as possible; take as much of your time as I can. I don't know when I'll see you again. You weren't pleased by the wedding plans?"
"Since they were made without me, I don't have reason to be joyous." Pulling her hand, Kaname smoothly glided to his feet and turned. He was several inches taller than her elegant frame.
Large cerulean eyes hovered on the shadow of his mouth and narrowed on his gaping collar. Her arms strapped around his neck and she leaned into him. "You know," Sara whispered in his ear, "You're too selfish. Leaving me starved for months. Is this how you'll treat me forever?"
Kaname fixed a white hand on her forearm. "Why did you announce it?"
"Do we have any reason to prolong the wait? Now is…" As her moving lips released words that barely registered, Kaname's gaze fleeted to the shadows and chairs.
The strangest of sensation, almost awry and intermittent tension, riled through his body. His vision was crisp clear and the flicking shadow passed into another corner, swallowed in infinite darkness. Instinctively alert, Kaname eyed the empty doorway on the farther side, stiff in Sara's arms. An insane, inundating flowery scent disabled all control in his body, setting his eyes shut in the supple smell, soon recognition punctured a numbed and solemn face at the back of his mind.
Shielded in the shadows, Yuuki's tearful gamine face unraveled. Withdrawing from view, she ducked her head behind the door. Small hands gripping the wood helplessly as she struggled to catch her breath.
Kaname's eyes snapped open, instantly pulling from Sara.
"You didn't answer my question." Sara watched in doubt. "Is something stopping you?"
Again, her emotive filmed his vision. Standing in the dark at night, staring in defeat. 'You surprise me, Kaname…But marriage is different than sacrifice, I guess.'
Sara's hand slipped over his jaw and cheek. "Look at me."
"Sara…" Kaname's voice rose from gloom, "For years, we've lived waiting for our eventual union. Our families have wanted us to honor the promise. And it wasn't entirely a surprising that you announced the date last night." His brows curled, creasing the smooth expanse of his forehead into rigid and black lines. "I haven't given my word to you. Never did."
Her smirk paled. "Yes, you did," She corrected.
"I let my father decide. Incidentally, becoming a yes to marriage."
Sara's eyes darkened. "…So?" Her fists clenched his shoulders. "It's no too late. You've been with me since we were young. Haven't we both come to accept it? That you are only for me and I, for you." His silence incited her nervous outbreak. She hugged his shoulders and brushed her lips on his throat. "I've only hungered for you, Kaname. Don't you feel the same?"
"And I've hungered…" Kaname murmured in her hair, self-condemned eyes strayed to the shadows.
Ω
Fidgeting at the door, Yuuki turned, shoving her back on the wall with an incontrollable shudder. Sobs dripped out of her wracking body. There was no indication her destination would be somewhere in the Kuran Mansion. Her unplanned route left her shaking but the restive emotions she hid decided to unveil. When she closed her eyes and asked to see her Senpai, for some reason, Yuuki found herself at the palace chapel. Falling upon the scene of the loving couple, Kaname and his fiancé, Sara.
I don't understand! Yuuki flung a hand on her face, the other clenched around the chain on her aching throat. Ruined by emotion, she didn't have the strength to watch the unfolding scene.
I wanted my Senpai. Not this. The man who appeared in the snow, accompanied her in the storage during the storm, and graciously helped her return home safe. He was the one she sought, not this. Cringing at herself, Yuuki wiped her swollen eyes.
There was soft, intangible movement beyond the door. The enervated lighting of the chapel didn't expose her hiding place. She was free behind the door without their consciousness. However, several times, she caught Kaname's lingering eyes pass over the shadows, precarious and alert.
What am I doing here? Yuuki turned back. Noting her restless heart, she stifled her sobs and licked her dry lips. Stumbling in the outer corridor, Yuuki pulled her shaking legs from under and ran out.
Ω
"…Longed for a certain type of blood." Kaname was steadily staring at the floor. His arm lightly pressed on Sara's upper back. "When a vampire desires a specific blood, it's not necessarily due from hunger and passion. Other attributes have greater influence than we realize."
She licked his throat and smiled, "I'm aware. We hunger for our loved ones, pureblood or not."
Kaname closed his eyes with a light, invisible smile. "Than you understand my meaning."
"It's natural to desire their blood," Her world was twisting at the notion of his beating blood, roaming enormously in his throat. "Like we do for each other."
His hand slipped in her hair, caressing under her chin and brushing the warm cheek, lost in his musing. "I've gained a new perspective on hunger. Lately, hunger hasn't driven me but something else… Always craving her. More than I've ever known, and without warning I covet her more than anything."
Her eyes blinked in sudden confusion. Slowly, Sara removed herself from his embrace.
His eyes were somber, and lips formed a definite black line. The single movement on his rigid frame was the quivering Adams apple whenever he spoke unhurriedly, refusing anything but an ingenious approach, "It's hardly believable. But she was meant for me from the beginning, sacrifice or not, she would have lived in me either way. Hunger didn't encourage attachment. She was already valuable to me before coming to the palace…"
"…Sacrifice!" Sara hissed in disdain. "You haven't killed her?"
Kaname regarded her expectedly. "Correct."
Sara didn't have the will to move, her seething glare tied on Kaname's tranquil and horribly frank eyes. He hadn't restrained from honesty. Yet she couldn't believe the weight of his words, not more than his gracious acceptance of the circumstance. "You're a King." She snapped. "Our King! How…A sacrifice? —Why?"
"Are you willing to accept me in this light?" Kaname asked. A clandestine smile brimming with despair appeared, expecting nothing less of Sara.
Her lips curled, "Kaname!" Sara growled. Her infusing fury dozed the candle into smoke. Rose windows trembled from the rapid force of the wind. Ruthlessly, she clenched her teeth. Her loving fiancé, the King and the man she was bound to share an eternity with ousted her from his heart. A numbing sensation thrust in her chest, pinning the agony and freezing the misery of her love. Bare faced with her stubborn fortitude, Sara perceptibly latched on to short hope. "You were supposed to have killed her. Why are you doing this to me—now?" She shrieked.
"Your altruist heart has been with me for years." Anguished, Kaname covered his eyes, "Sara…"
"I can't believe it." Fury strangled her bones, squeezing her lungs and heart at the grave revelation. "You can't!"
He lowered his hand. "Forgive me."
Ω
Yuuki scrambled to the clearing, losing her balance, she floundered on the grass. Heaving on her knees and hands, she wheezed a cry aloud. In the lashing chilly afternoon, winters unbending revival crushed the warmth of her skin, whizzing goose bumps and hardening her silky hair.
A hand covered the back of her head soothingly. His large footsteps breezed past her shoulder and within moments, his warm arms guided her back on her shaking feet.
"I don't—I don't understand!" She stammered, hysterically sobbing. "I asked to see Senpai! But I didn't—"
Oji-san swept her cascading hair aside and held her face in his balmy palms. "Think deeply Yuuki." He encouraged. "…Go back in your memories. Remember everything carefully. Don't prejudge."
"Nn-no." Shaking her head, she pedaled back. "Oji-san, it's impossible! You don't kno-"
"The spell is unerring." He countered. "It will show you those you seek. Didn't Yuuki meet with her family last time? Weren't they the ones she wanted? How can the spell suddenly become faulty?" Oji-san dubiously muttered. The dawning of vague discernment chiseled across her soft face. She was immediately striding to the courtyard, anxiety jolting her steps up the stairs of the deck.
There might have been the slightest hope, after suppression it waned. Yuuki had seen indefinite glimpses, just as she was waking from a deep sleep, her mind hazy and the contents of the dream fresh in her head. However, upon waking she found nothing to be real. As she unlocked the door to Kaname's office, her numbed movements led her directly to the shelf. Not even a careful or intuitive glance to the desk, chair, or drawers, Yuuki picked up the dusty box.
She believed her hunch was merely a fantasy. Certainly, like the ephemeral dreams she woke to find that they were—dreams. Yuuki didn't fail from treating her suspicion the same way. She eternally ignored them.
Unraveling the crimson cloth, Yuuki raised the rose pin in the dim lighting. Some part of me, As she stared at the object with a half-hearted and cold smile, she paused at the nostalgic appearance, and opened the pin to inspect the soft calligraphy. Knew all along.
'Y_i'
Gazing bleakly at the abrasive name, Yuuki calmly returned the item before closing the box, setting it neatly on the shelf. Her white hands were cold as it hung on her sides. Tear-free, Yuuki felt a bizarre weight settle on her chest. Blinking calmly, she turned around toward her wordless surveyor.
She hadn't heard the gentle rustle of the unlocking door, no less his ghostly footsteps. One hand wound around the lock, the other slim, almost invisible under the coat on his side, Kaname regarded patiently.
A wheezed breath slipped out of her smiling lips, Yuuki grinned. "I figured you possessed a better collection of books and came to raid it." Stretching her arms over her head, she sighed, "Heh."
Kaname moved with deliberate, sneaky steps, his grace appealing to a stalking lion. "Was your raid successful?"
She frowned timidly, "No, but I can compromise for something else." Head held high, Yuuki glided to the door without a glance. "See you, Kaname."
He contemplated the office, though she hadn't inhabited the room for a long time, Yuuki's scent immersed all corridors of the territory. Kaname stiffened and called without turning. "…Yuuki."
She gaped at the open door. "Yea?"
Ruby eyes lanced over his shoulder, "What was the book you wanted?"
Her eyes held no laughter. "It was about mistletoe. You wouldn't happen to know about them, would you?"
Kaname stared at the desk indifferently. "No."
As she plunged in the hallway, she rammed into Takuma. He staggered with the mountain of folders and documents, whimpering fearfully as it toppled.
"Ichijou-san!" Yuuki gasped, flattening on the wall.
"Oh, Yuuki-sama!" He was preoccupied with the load to meet her eyes. "Didn't see you there. How are you?"
"Fine. What's with the books?"
"Kaname and I have work to do." Takuma grinned charmingly her way. "Lucky for you, you don't need to take part in something so boring."
"I can help?"
"No!" Takuma objected, "How can I ask—no, we are fine." He strode in the office, peeking his head through the narrow doorway. "You can relax. Hanabusa informed me you had a rough night. I'd avoid doing something like that if I were you. Well, can't stall—have to go! Bye!"
Slamming the door, Takuma hurriedly set the load on the table. Wiping his perspiring forehead, he rotated to address the motionless shadow by the shelf. "Kaname, fortunately Jii-sama didn't set a due date on these. You and Sara-sama verily impressed him last night. If we hold more engagements, I think he'll consider going to Slumber in a year or two. You've handled everything alone efficiently. He knows you don't—" The sly and sinister smile hovering Kaname's mouth left Takuma lingering on incomplete words and a shudder ripped through his clenched fangs. "You don't look pleased?"
"We must be stricter than usual." Kaname stopped at the desk and filled the chair.
Takuma scowled in utmost bewilderment, "Why, all of a sudden?"
It was a single word that set his eyes grim and bitter. "Spies."
Spies weren't detrimental but the sight of Kaname's cautioned resolve was riveting. From experience, Takuma was heavily aware Kaname wasn't a man of jokes and that whatever he detected in the territory was an oppressive adversary. Whether she had the fortitude or resilience to survive and match Kaname's demands as sacrifice, he wholeheartedly feared for Yuuki. Though Kaname seemed caring and lenient toward her, if it was to keep her out of harms way he'd tie her in a bundle and send her to a remote region for eternity. He wouldn't have a normal, innocent girl die on ridiculous terms. Nevertheless, having Yuuki around could feed factions against the crown and threaten his role in the monarchy.
Takuma sighed at the stacks, all the while wary of his companion. Kaname was admiring the view as frost glazed the glass in the decreasing temperature. "I shouldn't say this but," He cleared his throat, the action didn't win Kaname's attention. "You should release Yuuki-sama, let her leave secretly. Give her funds to live wherever she wants. No-one knows she is a Kurosu by face. Only us, the Right Hands, jii-sama, Shizuka and Rido-sama...possibly, Maria-san, but not the public. If I spoke out of turn, I apologize, but not only for her sake you must avoid scandals. You're the last Kuran royalty and there are no heirs. Do you suppose jii-sama will let it go when he finds Yuuki-sama alive?"
"I hear he resents the Kurosu's." Kaname murmured.
"He does." Takuma controlled his surprise. "To an astonishing degree, I don't know why. He believes a knife at the King's throat, is a knife on his hip."
"Do you remember the death of the Kurosu son?" He whispered, eyes cast downward.
Takuma flushed, "Yea." He looked away. "It was near the mansion..."
"Doesn't it shame you that some murders are overlooked while others, that should be, aren't?" Kaname narrowed his eyes expectedly. "You look unusually colored, Ichijou..."
"I-I, I'm also against what happened." Takuma convinced. "But we couldn't do anything to help the family, Kaoru Senpai influenced everyone in the royal house, big or small. No one was happy by his strange death. And you already know, it was planned."
"Because my dear friend was murdered," Kaname said unflinchingly. "It's difficult to trust others. You were desensitized to our pernicious side so it's not troublesome for you to endure our restive and contemptuous habits. But eventually you, too, will tire." He fingered his eyelids as if ashamed to be seen by Takuma. "In this hopelessness, I can manage to compromise and entrust you. Will that be taxing? Ichijou?"
Takuma caught his breath. "You..." Trembling on his feet, he slouched wearily against the table. "Kaname, I—you already know in spite of my scheming reis no one can hold authority over me but you. There is no question about it!"
Ω
Instead of accusing Kaname of concealing his identity, she was dormant, and instead of shadowing his footsteps like she imagined, she kept her distance as he often passed the library or stopped uncertainly inches at her door before dejectedly leaving without a word. They seldom saw each other, as though two strangers living separately under one roof. Remarkably, that was the case. He was royalty, in line to the throne if the current King was deposed of and she was namely one of many king's possession.
Yuuki wasn't angry or dissuaded by their circumstances. Her slow reaction still waited on the afterthought of her discovery. The man from the snow was Kaname and whether he retained the incident in his heart was unknown. For Yuuki, it was momentous, unleashing a hope to meet him someday. Her wish had come true.
She set out to call for her senpai and without awareness, had been with him all along. Turmoil tore her heart and she yearned to see and meet her beloved Senpai. However, her feelings for Kaname were unfilled, ignored and empty. Soon, he would belong to another.
Her gliding bare feet stopped on the smooth, warm floor of the library. Bending over the table, Yuuki unhooked the lamp glass and blew off the flame, setting the area in grayish moonlight. Clutching her book to her chest, she sank into a couch by the open back door. Letters scattered over the floor like leafs, fluttering in the cool breeze and circulating somewhere in the shadows.
Her search on the King's background remained black and bleak, almost worthless and a waste of time. If Takuma were around, she wouldn't feel gloom but strangely she hadn't seen much of him. He was too absorbed with helping Kaname in the office to visit.
Gazing at the immeasurably high ceiling, she sighed listlessly and closed her tired eyes. Another day of searching for the King turned useless.
Slowly, like heavy dew and sap from a tree, the density and distortion was becoming clearer. Why Kaname's scent resembled and tortured her already hungry heart, and why she was drawn to him from the start. It was his habit to be gentle and outwardly kind, although she didn't understand why but he never failed to assure she wasn't a burden. If depending on him was all his primary concern, Kaname succeeded.
Yuuki, on the other hand, was not pleased with herself on being awfully dependant. He had done too much for her sake, and with the King's permission, offered to let her stay at the territory, safe from enemy pureblood's.
Of course she was unwanted. Yet Kaname found it in his heart to guard her life, and like the storm many winters ago, he didn't fail to keep her warm. The enthralling scent of his body and his soothing arms had monumental impact on Yuuki's giddy heart. But her dear senpai, the one who whisked away her heart a long time ago was getting married.
As her eyes shot open, a fever of agony swallowed her body, falling heavily on her chest.
She hadn't considered love but ultimately, her heart always longed for him: Kaname. Where memory refused from confusion, her heart was determined. If it wasn't sufficiently obvious, she was drawn to none but him. When he first saved her from Rido, he refused to infuse details but if she sorted her memory, shadows and soft words swam through her heard. Suddenly, her body subdued to the sounds, and a knot twisted within her aching throat.
This is...
'Do you not recognize me?'
Long dark hair and red eyes, the angel who saved me.
'In some lights, you haven't changed.'
The fluttering curtains shimmered a river of white embellishment on the windows. Parting them aside, he stepped in the dark corner of the library. The moonlight glittered over the wooden floor but the endless valley of letters and books overflowed from all corners. He almost couldn't see the reclined shape on the couch. Steadying at the threshold of the backdoor, his shadow carpeted over her face and neck from the silver-light, without a sound Kaname drifted toward Yuuki.
Synchronized with the wind, pale letters dripped to the floor from her side. Unconscious to her surrounding, Yuuki breathed in her sleep as serenely as she appeared for several nights he had watched. Fatigued from her search, she resorted to spend her nights and a good part of her afternoons tucked in the library—not in Kaname's secret corner but on the opposite end. As if she was committed to avoid meeting Kaname for any particular reason. Her plan had been successful but it left him sneaking at the last moment, catching her asleep or absorbed in articles.
Her efforts nearly provoked him to disarm himself before her completely. Render her all the answers she sought and the truth, that it was he whom she searched.
The irony of the situation made him tense. Spending her time searching for news on the current King, when Kaname detoxified his library of news, books, or details about himself ahead of time unbeknownst to Yuuki. Her strong spirit was one to admire however if she was pushing to leave bare-handed, he couldn't permit such a thing. Not only would it endanger her life but the whole Kurosu bloodline. If Yuuki wasn't careful enough, her family would soon become targets.
Leaning over the head of the couch, he brushed back a lock of hair from her temple. The even breathing of her chest hummed in soft, calm tones, indicating the heaviness of her sleep. The small hand draped around the book on her chest tingled at his faint touch. Kaname retracted his hand from habit but no soon, bent over to breath her scent.
Sunshine, summer, and flowers...
His hand stroked the bottom of her chin lightly. "Aijin..."
Ω
Barely a glimpse, a trace, and she sat up as if strangled by her dreams, swallowing gulps of air. Desperately searching the empty room, Yuuki halted. One hand shakily fingered her lips and the other let the book slam on the floor. "Aijin...?"
Where did I hear that?
Waking up perturbed from her memory wasn't in the least apposite. The remnants of the night Kaname first saved her suddenly unveiled and she was more mortified than relieved by the outcome. Throwing her legs on the floor, she rigidly rose in a fluid motion, straightened her shoulders and glared at the walls to compose herself. More than two minutes later, Yuuki strode out in the halls back to her room hurriedly, head bowed and arms wrapped tightly across her waist, in fiery fear of spilling her thoughts.
Curling a hand over her eyes, Yuuki sighed in frustration. 'If this is my last moment alive, can I ask you a favor?'
Unable to bear the discouraging notion, she was almost running to her room, unceremoniously colliding with another moving figure. Too distracted, Yuuki apologetically bowed and darted eagerly.
"Yuuki?"
His voice lanced through her rapid ideas like a powerful shot gun. 'Can you...' She found her feet lingering in place and turned back to Kaname. 'Kiss me?'
Soft ruby eyes shimmered from forlorn urgency but his collected mask never wilted. Kaname held out a book with a short smile. "I found something you might like."
'In some lights, you still haven't changed.' Deliberately glancing away from his searching gaze, Yuuki examined the emerald cover with gold print. "But I don't remember asking you for a book."
"You're busy researching on the King, and I know this is something you will definitely enjoy. For your leisure."
'I'm beginning to see your deepest treasure, the memory you cherish most.'
Turning around carefully, Yuuki reached for the item. Wait, isn't that—? "Mistletoe..." She breathed in fascination.
Kaname responded a quaint and kind smile. "You can keep it if you like, Yuuki."
'Do you want to meet him again?'
Hugging the book, she sadly smiled and nodded, avoiding his eyes. "You remembered. Thank you...Kaname!"
"I understand from one of its various tradition, the mistletoe is a plant of peace." He calmly remarked. "Under this plant, enemies can declare a truce with an act of kiss. If it comes to be, you may invite the King to stand under the mistletoe someday. I'm sure as sacrifice or an enemy of the royal family, you can gain truce, Yuuki..."Kaname lingered hesitantly on her name, regaining a measure of composure, he said then, "I'll be unavailable in the following weeks. You will have Hanabusa at your side in the meantime. In case you have need, call me and I'll surely come." His guarantee wasn't met with equal favor or eagerness.
The long drape of her hair shielded her profile. Kaname wasn't mistaken by the hidden emotion indicating she had long discarded her vibrant self to a disillusioned feeling mannequin.
A soft nod of her head submitted an inaudible reply, "Yes."
Weren't it for his keen senses, Kaname wouldn't be familiar with her answer. "Don't overexert yourself, Yuuki." He reminded.
A beguiling emotion filled her wide-eyes when she looked up, her bottom lip quivering. "Then why does he live mysteriously? Away from the public?"
Softly brushing her lip, a sigh dragged out of his own, "You may ask when you see him." Pulling away, Kaname turned and strode to his office.
"Will you help me see him?"
His eyes narrowed in clandestine, before tilting his head in her direction. "I will give my all to help you."
Through the distorted film of tears, Yuuki intently listened to the silent and yielding floorboards under his moving feet. Tracing the book cover, she bit her lip, finding her own legs locked as if paralyzed. My cherished memory had been that day with senpai. And he knew about it from tasting my blood and reading my memories.
If he knew already... Unstably, Yuuki stumbled after him, one hand outstretched to grab him. He assumed I wanted to see senpai. And after telling him my feelings for senpai, why—why didn't Kaname do anything?
Why let me go on not knowing the truth? If you knew how much it meant to me, why?
Kaname stiffened at the vehement knot under his sleeve. Relaxing his shoulders, he turned to find her scribbled dark brows above tear-polished red eyes. The ache shallow than the hiss that stripped out of her quivering lips. His eyes widened in realization that they were sobs.
"...So mean!" Yuuki met his eyes and clenched his sleeve. "You're so mean...Of course if I ever have a chance, even if I'm here tomorrow, I'll always want—!"
His hand stretched to wipe the tears with more care than necessary. "Didn't I tell you not to overexert yourself?"
Is this really the same person from years ago? Yuuki twisted her face from his hand, eyes scrunched shut in anguish. His face was smaller, and his eyes were darker than red-wine. Long hair fell modestly on shoulders and he was dramatically shorter at the time.
Catching her reflection in Kaname's concerned eyes, Yuuki spoke with more fortitude than she possessed. "Let's...Please, come with me for today." Without giving him a second to respond, Yuuki pulled him closely to the exterior corridors, beyond the rooms and further toward the front of the house.
"Yuuki." His smooth voice awoke her from reverie. Kaname eyed her next to the coat closet as she contemplated his article, a despondent smile flattening her mouth.
She offered him the coat. "Here, it's chilly out."
Kaname's answer was eloquent as he was stubborn with his actions. "The one in greater need of warmth is not me but you, Yuuki." Draping his coat on her shoulders, delicately he unrolled her bundle of hair on the back and secured the collar. His fingers palpated the back of her scalp, lingered under her ear and brushed secretly on the pulse point of her throat. His eyes reservedly noted the fascinating flare of rouge on her cheeks and neck, she bit her lip and gaped pointedly at the floor.
"Christmas is almost here." Yuuki implied.
"There will be a short formal at the mansion,"
Her brows formed a cursive line, a reputable and steadfast evidence of disapproval.
"The royal house commonly holds more than seventy formals at the mansion. This is clearly an exclusion of parties attended outside of the mansion." He quietly added.
A disheartened smile fell on her lips, "There's another celebration added to the list this year." Her slender hand filled his suddenly as she unlocked the door. Her heart quivered from the warmth of his palm. His hand feels soft and hard at the same time. Yuuki drew him to the front courtyard. "Your wedding is at the end of the month."
Kaname was absorbed by the minuscule hand resembling that of a doll. Her strides were unmatchable to his and he considerably followed her casual pace deep in the deserted courtyard. He was admiring the way her long hair fluttered in the wind and the short but determined steps marking the soil, chiseling his own prints on hers, creating a larger pattern. They were by the dense fog of the border, proximate to the Kuran Mansion.
Appearing satisfied in the destination, Yuuki released his hand and smiled at the sky. "Can you smell it?" She whispered. "The trace of something cold dawning, underneath the heavy winter air."
"Your scent will wither in the weather." Kaname stated.
"Wouldn't it be bad if it was summer all year-round? Summer also needs winter."
Alertly, Kaname looked up. "I sense it."
My senpai was with me all along. Yuuki searched the sky. But why did it have to be this way? Like the winter several years ago, except now we're older and wiser but now my senpai is marrying someone else. "Someday, Kaname, if possible, dance with me in front of everyone."
Kaname blinked from the clouds toward her upturned face, she had closed her eyes. His eyes softened and nodded. "Anything for you, Yuuki."
Small, almost invisible at first, drops of white spawned over Yuuki's hair. Her eyes flashed open immediately and turned to Kaname. He was smirking at the suddenly lavishing white rain dripping from the sky. "Yuki." Kaname murmured.
Ω
Shizuka moved briskly and sharply extended an arm to prevent the female from passing. Sara grounded her teeth and glared sideways at the domineering Great Queen. A delicate smile exposed two sharp fangs at the corners of her supple lips. She permeated an extraordinary smell of forest and human blood for a royal Pureblood. Sara's chiseling eyes snaked away from her bare throat to the end of the hall.
"My Great Queen, is there something you need to speak to me about?" Patience limited, Sara questioned offhandedly.
"As a matter of fact, yes." Shizuka titled her head slyly to the left to inspect the slender pureblood. "Unexpectedly you announced the wedding date at the dinner a few weeks ago. You must be drastically busy with wedding planning?"
"Fortunately for my dear family, they've come prepared to help." Sara smiled. "I was hoping you'd take part too and Maria-san implied your forte lies somewhere along the honeymoon department."
Shizuka's eyes steeled wretchedly. "Has Kaname given you his consent?"
"Why yes." Sara automatically answered. "Why do you ask? We were betrothed since young and he knows perfectly what's going on? I wouldn't dream of doing anything without his knowledge."
Shizuka tipped Sara's chin forward, "Shirabuki... If you really paid attention to your fiance, you'd see what an arduous position you've put him in. Kaname's reason and soul are trapped elsewhere. If he cared about the marriage, do you think he'd lock himself in the territory, mauling over work that his Right Hands are capable of?"
Sara pried away from her grip expertly. "Kaname's motives are seldom known. Why will a man plan a wedding when he knows nothing about it's needs? Such tasks are worthwhile for wedding planners."
"I'm not talking about napkins and music, dear." Shizuka sliced softly. "I'm talking about his distancing from you and the royal household. As the future Queen, you hold responsibility to keep him in check and know his deepest secrets. Hmph, you should have an idea why he'd rather stay away than attach himself to you. Typically before the wedding a man can't get enough of his fiance." Taking some of the bountiful curls of Sara's blond hair, she mused aloud, "He has a hard time away from her but Kaname is a phlegmatic King and acquiring his interests can be overbearing."
"Leave it to me." Sara growled, "I will handle Kaname."
"I hope you can." Unconvinced, Shizuka lowered her arm from the wall, letting Sara free. "Careful now, Shirabuki, your eyes are green from jealousy. If you really were secure you'd feel little to nothing by his absences. He is in his territory at this moment if you want to take a look?"
"I don't need to." Sara cut in coolly. "Once I'm Queen, I'm all he will need."
"I'm getting worried now," Shizuka lightly chuckled, "If you are able to keep his heart and the throne as future Queen. I take your fall will be worth watching."
Mimicking the poised and serene royalty from portraits, Sara silently strode out of the hall, a snide glare tossed back at the woman. "Hmph."
Ω
He didn't like explaining she assumed, and his reticent character was impenetrable. Yuuki barely had the time to put her book down when Kaname sailed to her side and drew her from her seat, she shifted nervously under his gaze. "What's going on?" There was no point in asking because he walked in silence through the dark. The arm under her back hardened with each movement. Her large eyes sharpened on his clenched jaw and the hooded crimson eyes were icy than the night weather.
The hand lifted out of the shadows and braced the back of her head. "I'm sorry, Yuuki..." Kaname nuzzled her head.
Her knees buckled at his transfixing scent. "What for?"
"Fastening you to me without reason."
"But you haven't done anything." Yuuki countered.
His arm lowered and pressed her urgently to his side, face deposited deep in her hair. "The curse allows me to restrain you to me. Now I can't imagine setting you free."
Free? "Kaname?" Yuuki stiffened.
Outside, the path his stealthy footsteps probed were eroded from dirt, and rigorous weather. She couldn't fixate on the narrow opening as it was concealed in the hallow of a decrepit wall. There was a door she hadn't seen until Kaname clasped the rusted lock before guiding her in the tunnel.
"Where are we?"
His eyes ran over her in deliberation before speaking. "Somewhere filled with death." As if his response wasn't perturbing enough, Kaname's glided in front of her and set a hand on her back. "This way, Yuuki." He pulled toward a rounding staircase, securing an eye on Yuuki over his shoulder, and stopped at a pair of doors in a damp hall.
"Why are we here?"
Her questions were answered without hesitation accompanied by hints of familiar trepidation as he sought her reaction. "I've been troubled lately." Kaname murmured, "And it requires your answer above all things."
"Mine?" Yuuki paused at the door.
Kaname smirked aloofly and set a hand on her cheek in awe. "I have yet to reach you, Yuuki."
Her expression drizzled into one of gloom. His arms unexpectedly chained across her back and lifted her off the floor. Yuuki clutched his shoulders and buried her face in his collar. "What are you doing?" She mumbled in horror.
"I considered it for as long as I could but it isn't enough," Kaname calmly strode deeper toward the gold torches. Halting in front of a large open casket, he lowered Yuuki inside.
Her eyes widened in the cool depression. Shivering from the cold, Yuuki eyed the surrounding walls. Anxiously looking up at Kaname, she fidgeted. "Why am I here?"
He turned around and leaned against the casket, staring at the floor. "How do you like it?"
Yuuki grabbed the sides of the casket, uneasy and strangely claustrophobic in the case. "Mm..m." She stared frozen at ceiling.
"How would you like it," He whispered, "If you were to share one with me?"
The racing pulse on her throat jutted against the skin as her bodily senses deadened. Lying with her eyes searching the casket, she breathed aloud. "It would be nice." Yuuki answered in the boring silence. "That way we can keep each other warm in the soil. Not for a century but within time, we'll turn to dust together."
Kaname turned to regard her sleeping face. Dropping a hand inside, he captured her small hand. She looked up at the ceiling and at his solemn face. "Without needing to be found," Leaning over, he relaxed his forehead against hers. "It's you who found me." Her skin deepened in red. Kaname gently helped her out and set her feet delicately on the floor. She made a move to step away from the casket and him altogether, but his desperate arms strapped themselves around her frame, smothering her to his chest.
From the calm weekend together, Yuuki predicted it was bound to reopen wounds. It certainly reopened hers after learning his wedding was within a week. Kaname, who was easily attached to his overwhelming work refused distractions. Which was why Yuuki sat pensive in her room, glaring intently at cracks and listening to movements in the outer corridors as Kaname prepared to leave. She had been restless for a while, unable to sleep, read, do anything pertaining to relaxation. Nothing possibly robbed her fixation but that she was stuck alone and he was leaving.
Leaving to get married.
The next time they would meet, Kaname would be a married man. He was leaving unnecessarily early with Aidou and Takuma to meet with the Elders Council. Listening to their nimble chatter somewhere in the isles, Yuuki cringed in her chair. Jumping to her feet, she paced like a patrol officer to all corners of her room. Not even the sun or snow was suitable entertainment. She could sleep if her lusty dreams weren't fascinated with Kaname's hands. Groaning under her breath, Yuuki yanked open the curtains and strode to the deck around the back. Clenching the banister earnestly, she lowered her head grimly and stared at her feet.
Her jittery senses were at their limit. She couldn't stand or sit in one spot. Her hands needed to be preoccupied, yet anything she touched shattered from her fragile and explosive temper. Yuuki resorted to biting her nails but after piercing two fingers, she decided against it. Returning to her room, Yuuki locked the sliding door and sagged against a wall, melting to the floor like thawed ice.
He was going. Her senpai, Kaname—was going.
"Hehehe..."
Dazedly gaping up, Yuuki shot to her feet, gasping at the reclining figure on her bed. "How?"
Shizuka splashed her silver hair on the pillows, a pleasant grin encompassing her smooth and elegant features. "You have certainly left your mark in the Kuran household."
"Great Queen..." Obediently, Yuuki fell to her knees.
"Yes, Sacrifice." Shizuka smirked coldly. "Have you been enjoying your stay here? Haru has been helpful to you. If it weren't for him...and a lot hindering people, I'd single-handedly kill you." Growling, she sat up and raised a hand. At once, Yuuki's body skated across the floor, stopping next to the bed by Shizuka's knee. "Give me the chain." She ordered.
"But there is one more—"
"That belongs to me." Shizuka sneered. "It was my gift to Haru but he pitied you and let you use it."
Yuuki unhooked the chain around her neck and rendered it to Shizuka's open palm. "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware it was yours."
Shizuka lifted Yuuki's face for inspection. "I'm told you have the ability with the sun. Winter must be tough on you."
"My abilities are trifle and nothing compared to yours, Great Queen." Yuuki gulped at the digging finger nail.
She pushed Yuuki away and relaxed back on a pillow. "It must be wonderful to have someone look after you, ready to give up everything." Her silver eyes narrowed. "Your emotions aren't any different either."
Yuuki clenched her hands in her lap. "I...I'm a..."
"You can't accomdate the royal family." Shizuka paused with a troubled frown, "And I'm cruelly fastidious with Kaname's ideal candidate. If it weren't for his parent's, I wouldn't let him continue the marriage. But Honeyed Blood such as yours is a demand of pureblood's."
Her eyes strayed from her numb hands toward the royal queen. "Shizuka-sama, I used your magic and saw—"
"Did you not suppose every time you used the chain I wasn't aware of it?" She criticized. "The places you went, the ones you met, I know them all, Kurosu."
Sullenly, Yuuki closed her eyes. "It was my only way to see them."
"Kaname's tolerance toward you is almost tactless." Shizuka glowered. "I had a duty to protect the royal family and hid Haru from the world. This is the only reason why I empathize my dear nephew. And as a woman," She slowed, eyes closed, "If you die tomorrow, will it matter what you give Kaname?"
"No."
Shizuka raised a brow. "Are you sure?"
Yuuki nodded. "Positive, Shizuka-sama."
Drawn to Yuuki's fixed gaze, Shizuka murmured against her face. "Is it proper to let him go without speaking your mind? Hmm?"
Doubting herself, she contemplated the floor. "I-I—"
Languidly rising to her feet, Shizuka twined her fingers in the chain and approached the sliding door connected to the deck. "Once I stood at crossroads like you but I was fortunate to not lose what I yearned for." Flashing Yuuki a fang, she stepped through the threshold.
Thoroughly unnerved, Yuuki hardly had the ability to stand up. She managed a certain thirty minuets later and raptly gaped at the echoing room. Silence. Not more noises outside, only silence. Yanking open her door, she searched the empty halls. Kaname's office was vacant, as well as the neighboring rooms and the back corridors. She sprang in the library in case he decided to spare a few minutes lounging on his favorite settee. Although, the notion was surreal, Yuuki stood flushed with despair and shock at the empty furniture.
He was gone already. Gone to marry some pureblood. Gone to fulfill his parent's promise. While she stayed spinelessly in the dark.
Shizuka was right, if she was to die eventually why would it matter what happened?
Gasping in her hand, Yuuki ran out of the library. Every nerve in her body tingled feverishly. So what it was unrequited, and so what he pretended not to recall the winter years ago when they met? Yuuki was firmly aware of her emotions, better than anyone. He wasn't officially committed and she wouldn't tether him. If only she was a few seconds faster and controlled herself respectfully, and instead of running wild with her thoughts, she could have used her legs and caught Kaname in time.
The searching was futile now. Yuuki darted to the front door and threw it open. Wheezing against the stinging winter wind, she squinted at the luminous courtyard. In the drenching snow were silhouettes heading to a vehicle. She sprinted from the steps, unmindful of the biting draft and her friskily spraying hair.
"KANAME!"
Aidou turned first and flushed abnormally, mumbling in bewilderment. "Kurosu?" His comrade watched in steady amusement and worry.
Takuma started eagerly. "Yuuki-sama, you shouldn't be out here. Please!" She breezed past him as if he weren't visible.
Kaname had stopped a little ways further from the two. His eyes drifted from her bare feet and incompatible attire for the frigid weather. Two steps was all it took to close their distance. Yuuki heaved and clenched his sleeves as he steadied her carefully. "Yuuki..."
"I!" Tipping her head up, she threw her hands to her sides and flinched in the tormenting wind. "It's fine, I'm fine, I'm not afraid." She stammered.
Kaname unbuttoned his coat but her fingers tied on his knuckles. Yuuki lifted her hands and gently welded her palms around his face. There was a transient movement of her lips from quivered words. "...hink I waited ..enough.." Dark locks shielded his brows, his eyes narrowed from the fluctuating forceful wind.
Senpai or Kaname. Yuuki leaned on her toes to seize his lips with her own. He trembled from the touch then stiffened in stupefaction. Kaname steadied himself in her arms and lowered his shoulders. Her arms curled neatly around the back of his head. There was no suppression or subtlety and invasion was foremost. She abandoned delicacy and probed in impassioned grace. Yuuki gasped absently from brushing his fang.
Flabbergasted, Aidou stood as if his body had no will to move. Takuma was not efficient than he and hurriedly turned his back on the two. Grabbing Aidou's arm, he towed him toward the car. When his vocal cords seemed to be in working order, Aidou not only notoriously shrieked but scampered in Takuma's grasp. "What're they doing with their mouth's?"
"Let's not tarry." Takuma opened the passenger door to help him inside.
"Tarry? Us?" Aidou spat. "They're the ones who—"
"Hanabusa." Takuma called in warning. "We are in no position to remark on Kaname's personal affairs."
"Aren't we?" Aidou glowered monstrously. "Sara-sama is happily preparing for the wedding and Kaname is—" He looked back and regretted the move instantly.
Yuuki unfastened her mouth and dropped back to earth. His fixating eyes were large and glowing in hints of stark red. "Take care." Yuuki breathed and retreated inside.
Kaname remained immobile, watching the door fix lock with Yuuki.
She slumped against the door, one hand cradling her head and her spilled hair covering her wracking shoulders. I did it. I should be happy. Plucking her wet palms from her face, Yuuki sniffed. "Then why am I crying?" A throbbing jolt crept in her chest. Wheezing aloud, she clutched her left side and cringed. It hurts so much. Letting him go.
Ω
She didn't notice how eager she was of her chambermaid's return until the door clicked open, drawing Sara to her feet. Her servant stood downcast behind the curtain. Suspecting bad news, Sara turned around and glared at the standing women on the side to rearrange her gown. They fluttered about and relaxed once the work d'art was achieved. All week she was the recipient of bad news. It did not help Kaname couldn't lend her a much needed shoulder for adjusting in the mansion, not to mention she was the center of the Great Queen's eyes.
She didn't understand how things had gotten out of hand so drastically. One moment, everything at the mansion was smooth and steady like it deserved to be. The next, her entire world shattered. Feeling her temple, Sara glared at her reflection and teased a few wavy locks of hair. Kaname was too absorbed with his work to notice she had thinned. The Great King wasn't resourceful as he hopelessly fooled around, and she hardly saw the creature in the day. She came to a chilling realization that she was worrying and losing her calm too quickly. If she was better at the game than others, she'd rave glamorously. However her heart had begun to long for more than the title of Queen.
It seemed almost perfect that they would wed. The idea wasn't foreign to Kaname and herself. Nonetheless, his treatment of the matter was disheartening and raised her fury. She was desperate enough to meet with the sacrifice and slice her throat. Yet jealousy was for unmindful creatures, and she wasn't brittle to waver from her advantages. Soon, she would gain title as Queen and she could handle the sacrifice personally. If she merely dropped hints of the sacrifice's survival to the Elders Council, not even Kaname could stop them from eliminating her.
Sara turned to regard her shadow at the door. "Seiren."
The gray-haired descended to her knee, "Hai, Sara-sama."
"Where is he?"
"His fifth conference today."
"Huh." Sara scoffed. Ever since he admitted to wanting the sacrifice, he hadn't been the same, and her trust in Kaname narrowed. "His overloading at the last minute. It's my third time asking him to come in for fitting." Sara knew better that he was putting everything off. To the point where he didn't want to think of marriage. "Coward." She gritted her fangs. "Call him again, Seiren. Tell him I want to meet for dinner."
"Hai, Sara-sama." As she opened the door, another shadow preoccupied the threshold.
In the reflection, Sara's features froze. Her maids flung to her side in an attempt to shield her from the intruder.
"Ousama, you aren't meant to see your bride yet!" Cried a maid.
"It's considered bad luck before the wedding!"
"Get out." Sara sternly chastised the sputtering maids. Moving the skirt of her gown to the side, she eyed his approaching shadow. He waited for the parting women and closed the door. "I nearly thought I'd never see you until the wedding day." Her cool smirk wilted the second she returned to her reflection. "You have no right to ask forgiveness. It's your fault for being busy. You were told ahead of time what you need. I won't take excuses."
Kaname stopped next to her shoulder. "You look wonderful."
"I know that." She snapped. "I don't dream of succumbing to the Great Queen's scorn. She is a thorn to my side, and didn't let me choose my wedding gown."
A mellow smile wound around his mouth. "She won't feel at home unless someone is her pawn."
"Naturally, it's me." Sara glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "I'm about ready to tape your suit on you if you don't."
A galloping heaviness in the atmosphere filled the silence. Kaname turned, "I can—"
"We are getting married." Sara interrupted, smoothing the straps. "In two days I will be Queen. You had best familiarize yourself with the idea, if all your life wasn't enough." Their eyes remained locked significantly longer than usual.
"You aren't yourself today." Kaname diagnosed. "This flustered state is uncanny."
"What about you?" Sara demanded, "You aren't on top of your duties either."
The hand reaching for hers sailed back to his side.
"Don't mock me," Sara muttered. "I was your chosen since we were little. That sacrifice doesn't deserve your heart or to compete. How dare you let her in?"
"I'm sorry, Sara..." Solemnly Kaname stared at the furious woman. "But she belongs to me."
Her lips thinned in a flat line, hardly noticeable. The overpowering force of her anger knocked the vases on the vanity and cracked the mirror they stood before. Sara's blue eyes narrowed bitterly, "You make me despise you by the minute. I never intended us to fall in the debts of some regretful relationship where we seek others to sustain. I wholly accepted you and sought your blood!" She blinked the translucent tear and shoved her white hand on the broken mirror. Clutching a shard, Sara hissed acidly. "You were always too gentle, Kaname, your good natured heart seems unreal and superficial for a pureblood. But when I learned that you kept her by you all this time—"
"I never intended to sacrifice her," Kaname admitted, "She still grows closer to my soul."
Listening to his unflawed speech and unhesitant answer made everything in her body burst. Losing restraint, Sara slung the shard deep in his side. Piercing him until blood rippled into her pure white dress and hands, she sighed in relief at the infliction of his previously sterile gaze. "You better not have given her your blood." Sara slurred in his ear. "Every vampire, high or low can shun rivers and valleys of blood for the one they yearn for. That blood surpasses any other. You know this already, don't you, Kaname?"
Kaname covered her bloodied hand as more stained the floor.
"If I hear she took your blood," Sara stiffened at his short gasps, "I will murder her like this. Drain every drop of blood she took from you." Yanking the shard out of his body, Sara wearily withdrew to the window. "Because we know each other for years, you misjudged me and let down your guard."
Kaname watched the smeared blood on her gown. She glimpsed at him slightly and licked her fingers. "I disgraced you." He uttered hoarsely.
"You have." Sara set the shard on the vanity.
Within seconds, the door flung open to let in the alarmed team. Drawn by the scent of his blood, Aidou and Takuma bolted to Kaname's side, who, without a word, left the room.
Ω
Her strained expression made him smirk. Pushing inside, Takuma browsed the halls. "What're you up to?" Yuuki strode into the kitchen and calmly continued dissecting the pears she gathered. Amused by her handwork, Takuma sat by the counter. "If Kaname was here, he'd be pleased." Unresponsively, Yuuki whirled to the tuning oven and removed a steamed cake. "You've been baking for a week. Wouldn't you rather practice your abilities? Sleep? Or does Kaname haunt you like a disease?"
"Don't speak about him like that." She quietly rebuked, staring glumly at the cake.
Smirking, Takuma titled his head, "And why not?"
He had been visiting her consistently every day since Kaname left. While she waited hopelessly for news, Takuma spent his time badmouthing and slurring nonsense. She didn't have the heart to evict the man. Yet it was obvious by her stern silence that he was picking on her patience. Yuuki was convinced she'd shove the knife in his throat if something didn't keep him from silencing.
"Yuuki..." Arms came around her waist, Takuma pressed her to his chest and nuzzled her throat. "Your scent is intoxicating. Wildflowers in the winter is rare, do you know?"
Squirming out of his arms, Yuuki clenched the knife against her thigh. "Ichijou-san!" She gasped, "Please." She couldn't get accustomed to his oppressive hugs. While his affectionate humor was sweet and candid, she was shocked by the number of times he crept in her room when she was undressing, remarking: "Cute tits." Yuuki shivered from the memory in revulsion and averted. She didn't want to recall how ardently he attempted inappropriate advances upon her.
No longer shy or respectful, Takuma grabbed her chin, grinning. "What's the harm in teasing?"
It was not teasing in Yuuki's term. She was downright perturbed and began to hate answering the door. Aidou appeared once a day but merely to interrogate if she contacted the oji-san in the forest. If she avoided the door, Yuuki feared she'd never catch Kaname return. She was overwhelmed with grief from his departure, and imagined listlessly about a wedding complimenting royal pure bloods.
There was no motive to waiting guardedly at the door like a dog. Only that, at first, she was convinced of Kaname's immediate return. However, during a week of waiting, without seeing him, she pretended to occupy her time with trivial tasks. Although her hands were busy, her mind returned continuously on Kaname, and as if not knowing better, she waited for him every night and day on the porch.
A soft hand brushed the back of her neck. "Your skin is so soft, Yuuki." Takuma examined in intrigue. "What do you use?"
She pulled away, "Nothing."
"It's soft for my fangs to cut."
"Please, Ichijou-san." Yuuki sighed in exhaustion.
"Are you waiting for him still?" Takuma returned to his chair, "He is married now."
"I know I'm not—don't tell me, I know already." Her cutting hand strokes quickened.
"How about we go for a walk? You can use a little distraction." He suggested.
"Nn, I can't, not yet."
"He won't return."
"How do you know?"
"Because he is married." Takuma notified.
"He wouldn't leave me alone here."
"Won't he? A pureblood royalty?—You are obvious enemies."
Yuuki cringed at his choice of words, "Ichijou-san, don't put it that way."
"It's the truth."
Yuuki slammed the knife on the cutboard. "Don't say that!"
Takuma sat up on his elbows at the counter. "You can't have feelings for royalty. They plan to devour you."
"Kaname won't."
"My," Takuma chortled, "That's some confidence you have in him."
"He hasn't—he won't." Yuuki helplessly shrugged, "Not Kaname."
"And if some one else does?" Takuma questioned lightly, "What do you suppose Kaname will do?" As she searched the floor and the kitchen, she blanked. Takuma turned her face in his direction. "What?" She swatted his hand peevishly. His long fingers snatched her fragile wrist. Sensing the low hallow blood circulation, his green eyes flickered. "You haven't fed in months, have you?"
"Let my hand go." Yuuki tiredly requested.
Takuma brushed her wrist against his lips and inhaled the scent of her skin. "The smell is wonderful on pulse points."
She retracted her slender hand to grab the knife. "It will help me immensely if you came back later, Ichijou-san."
"If I don't visit first, the curious relatives will ravage you." Takuma informed. "I might as well have dibs."
"Unbelievable!" This time, Yuuki did throw him out without promises to let him return.
Quietly, the meager hope for Kaname's return died but Yuuki kept waiting at the stairs at night, and the porch in the day. Purposely formulating tasks that required her presence at the front courtyard. In the starving winter, her hands grew cold and her kneecaps ached from its cramped position. She retired to her room and slumped at her desk. Her journal appeared brimful with writing. She was reading over some of her entries from two months ago when a daunting scent of blood engulfed the room. The journal slumped carelessly to the floor as her gazed settled on a unfamiliar shadow chiseled upon the sliding door.
Her forceful movement tossed the chair on the floor. She was ready to dash but found there hadn't been a need after all. Not in his ceremonial attire but the habitual black coat, his hair was rumpled by the cold wind, and his pale cheeks were patted with snow flakes. "I thought you weren't coming."
Kaname stayed glued to the bedroom door. "I kept remembering," Kaname clenched the knob. "Your kiss."
It was strange, how the two of them looked afraid to move from their respective areas. Then he started, flew rather, toward Yuuki. The nestling scent of his blood engulfed her in alarm. Yuuki stiffly met his glinting and profound stare, turning rouge from memories.
His mouth clung on hers unsparingly and losing the greater half of support, she staggered on the desk. Collecting in his arms, Kaname poured his reserved instincts. The oozing struggle fled to nonexistence. Her gasping mouth whimpered from the force of his roving tongue. She hadn't time to bring herself up, carefully Kaname lifted her off her from the floor. Her arm hooked around his back for balance as Kaname set her on the mattress. His kiss was not gentle but restless and full of agony. Kaname clutched her tighter, subduing her entirely to his bruising kiss.
No sense of unsweetened disparity and only the rough, melodic meddle of moving tongues and lips. The numbness in her chest unclasped and emotions streamed over her hands. Gasping in his mouth she nearly screeched at the aching lungs. He was overpowering than she imagined. Kaname's hands branded her thin writs against the sheets, holding her captive below from unregulated movement. She wouldn't dream of pushing him away. Raggedly, Yuuki shuddered when he slowly loosened his grip and released their starved lips.
Yuuki lay gaping stunned at the white ceilings of her bedroom. Her chest heaving, deep breaths swallowed through injured lips. The room swirled into shadows and colors. His tempestuous kiss left her dizzy and immobile. Yuuki turned her head to find the room devoid of Kaname.
A dream?
The blood on her lips was sufficient evidence.
Ω
© Nur Misurr
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Quiz: What does 'Aijin' mean?
