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12.

She lay awake for a long time that night, pondering everything he had told her and wondering what it all meant. How did he feel about her? He seemed to be sad that she was gone – which, she supposed, he was, if he had known the truth about her all along. There seemed to be more to it, though; she just couldn't lay her finger on what that was, exactly.

She had spent a lot of time trying to help the Animals here and seeing for herself that they were looked after properly. Eilen had explained to her how things worked and Elphaba had talked to many of the Animals, listening to their stories and helping the nurses out in caring for their patients.

Unfortunately, a journalist or two had found out about her being here. All day long, she had been followed like a hawk by a couple of people with pencils and notebooks and she hated it. She was starting to wonder why she had ever agreed to this entire plan. Then again, she hadn't known about any of this in the beginning – if she'd known she was Oscar's daughter, the rightful crown princess of Oz, she might have changed her mind. Or perhaps not. All she'd ever wanted was to be loved, after all. She just didn't really want to be loved by so many people anymore. It was an empty kind of love. She just wanted a handful of people to love her for who she was, not for whose daughter she was or for what she could do. She longed for her days at Shiz, back when everything had been simple and just... perfect.

She'd tried to ignore the journalists and focus on the Animal patients instead. She had cast a few small spells to show off her magic, too – Morrible's suggestion, she'd realised, was not a bad one; and with the journalists present, she was sure there would be a story in the newspaper the next day about "Princess Cassadi magically helping Animals to sleep in rehabilitation centre".

As for the Animals themselves, she was still amazed that a few of their stories were about her – or, well, about "Miss Fae", but still. Back when she had been the Wicked Witch, most of the Animals hadn't wanted to refer to her as such, since it was a title the Wizard and Madame Morrible had come up with; and so she had created a name they could use for her that would not attract any unwanted attention: Fae. The nickname Fiyero had always called her back at Shiz. In hindsight, it had been a pathetic decision, really; but then again, there was not much that wasn't pathetic when it came to her feelings for – and behaviour towards – the Vinkun prince.

She was glad to have been able to help so many Animals. She'd apparently underestimated the influence she'd had on them. She'd tried her hardest, but she had always felt like it hadn't been enough. There was the occasional Animal she could save from a trap, for which she always felt grateful, but she had always thought that her other efforts – trying to unite them and set them up against the Wizard, mostly – had been in vain. Most of them had been too scared to openly rebel. They had probably been right, too, but Elphaba hadn't known what else to do back then. At least some of her efforts had paid off. Not everything she'd done in her life had ended in disaster.

She turned around to lie on her other side. Hero was padding around the room and started scratching at the door, keeping her awake; and so she gave up on trying to sleep and got out of bed, throwing on a robe and opening the door to let the puppy through. He dashed off and she followed, going outside and sitting down in the grass where she had found Fiyero that afternoon.

She lay down on her back and looked up at the stars. There were far more visible here than there were in the Emerald City. She'd missed them, she supposed. She'd spent so long wandering around forests and meadows, avoiding cities, and often sleeping outside, that she'd gotten used to seeing the stars and hearing the noises of nightlife in nature as she tried to sleep. She'd had difficulty falling asleep in the Emerald Palace at first; the silence, the soft mattress and pillows, and just the general feeling of being indoors had felt strange and unfamiliar after two years.

Hero dashed off and then came running back, playing around in the grass for a while before settling down beside Elphaba, yawning, and promptly falling asleep. She chuckled softly as she stroked his fur from his head to his tail, feeling once again thankful for having him. She wondered if she'd ever thanked Oscar for giving Hero to her. She should, once she got back.

"Cass?"

She raised her head, only to find Fiyero heading their way. "Hey."

He sat down beside her and scratched Hero between his ears before lying down as well. "Couldn't you sleep?"

She shook her head. "You?"

"The same." He sighed. "I guess I've got a lot to think about. Glinda, my life in general... Fae." He bit his lip. "I'm a little at a loss about what to do now. I had this plan before, you know? This idea of what I wanted to do with my life. Everything I've done for the past two years has been for that, and now I... I can't do it anymore."

"Why not?" she asked, curious as to what he was talking about. What had been his plan? Gaining money and popularity and marrying Glinda? And now it was falling apart because that life wasn't all he had dreamed it to be and he wasn't even sure he loved Glinda anymore? She could relate to that. Most of her life, she had been dreaming of a meeting with the Wizard and Oz knew how that had turned out.

He hesitated, then shook his head. "Never mind. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Okay." She hated people pushing her to talk when she didn't want to; it'd be hypocritical for her to keep bothering Fiyero about it now. She stretched and yawned, even though she still didn't feel very tired, and then she asked quietly, "Do you miss her?"

She didn't specify whom she was talking about, but she knew she didn't have to. He gave her a long look before laying his head down on the grass again, staring up at the stars. He seemed to be lost in thought for a brief moment before he spoke.

"More than you'll ever know."

She could feel her heart pounding and she had to resist the urge to ask, "Really?". She supposed there was much more to his feelings regarding her than she had originally thought. She didn't know in what respect, though, or to what extent, and she didn't want to push him too hard.

Besides, what did it matter? She was not that girl anymore. She would never again be Elphaba Thropp and she would do well to leave the past alone. It would only end up hurting her. She had to look forward.

"Thank you for telling me," she said instead. "I promise I'll keep it all to myself."

He turned his head and studied her face for a while. "You're easy to talk to," he said. "Like I said before – you're a good listener."

"Thank you," she said, not really knowing what else to say.

He chuckled slightly and she returned her attention to the stars above, trying to count them, but quickly giving up on that. It did make her feel more sleepy, though. She absently stroked Hero, not even noticing that she was shivering until Fiyero asked, "Are you cold?"

She hugged herself. "A little."

"I have a blanket," he offered, holding up the end of the blanket that wasn't draped over him. She hesitated briefly before scooting closer. He put his arm around her and tugged her into his side, the blanket draped over the both of them. She did feel warmer instantly, but she wasn't sure whether or not that was caused by the blanket.

"Thanks," she whispered. He didn't say anything; he just drew her even closer and she snuggled up against him, seeking his body heat, and rested her head on his shoulder. They both watched the stars for a while before she found herself drifting off and she closed her eyes. She'd just rest for a few minutes and then she would go back inside.


She awoke at the feeling of being lifted into the air and she sleepily opened her eyes a little, only to find that Fiyero had wrapped her up in the blanket and was now carrying her. "Yero?" she murmured, still half-asleep; and she felt him tense for a moment, a strange expression fleeting across his face before he composed himself.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you inside," he said. "We fell asleep in the grass. I'd have been perfectly happy to stay there with you, but with those journalists lurking nearby, I'd rather not take the risk of them finding us in the morning. They'd be bound to interpret it in a different way and we don't want wild stories published in the newspaper tomorrow."

"Mm," she said drowsily. "Good thinking."

He chuckled.

"So is this going to become a thing now? You carrying me?"

She could see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "If you want it to be."

She did. Oz, she wanted it to be. But even in her half-awake state, she realised that that would not be a smart thing to say and so she kept her mouth shut. If only for Glinda.

She felt his eyes on her and she raised her sleepy gaze to meet his. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing," he whispered. "Go back to sleep."

She was too tired to prod for more information and so she closed her eyes again. She was vaguely aware of him carrying her inside and laying her down on the bed, covering her with a blanket. When he didn't leave, she opened her eyes again, blinking slowly at him. "Yero?"

"Hmm?" He seemed to shake himself from his stupor and he gave her a bleak smile. "Sorry." He hesitated. "It's just... sometimes you remind me so much of her."

She was instantly more awake, feeling alarmed. Was he on to her?

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm sure you don't want to hear that all the time. You didn't even know her, after all..."

Elphaba exhaled slowly through her nose. He didn't know, then. "No. I mean, it's okay. I don't mind."

He smiled again – more genuinely this time – and he nodded. "All right, then. I'll leave you to get some sleep." And then, in a sudden, bold gesture, he leaned down and pressed a light kiss to the corner of her mouth.

"Goodnight," he whispered, straightening and leaving the room, gently closing the door behind him.

Elphaba, however, could not even think of sleep right now. Despite her earlier tiredness, she found herself wide awake.