~Authors Note: Gondorprimyalon! No caffeine high today! Well, almost thought because its 1 in the morning and I think I'm going to stay up all night because I'm really late for updating and I feel bad and I have the hiccups! Anyways I'm really bored and I'm sorry for not updating faster but I really just haven't been in the mood to update any of my fanfics and I'm sorry, so please enjoy!
Peace in
Mel Swirls!
Phineas and Ferb: Isn't what it is
Chapter 12: Perfect
Hey dad look at me
I was at the mall sharing a pretzel with Phineas while he talked and talked. After awhile, I started to think the guy couldn't shut up, but it was still nice, or at least, as nice as it could get while feeling guilty for hanging out with your boyfriends worst enemy and actually realizing how much of a nice person he is. Double whammy.
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
"So anyways Marissa is telling everybody at school that Ferb cheated on her with you, so what's the deal with that?" he said in a gossipy tone as he shoved a piece of the soft pretzel in his mouth. I looked at him with wide eyes and he smiled and chuckled at my reaction, "Ok so I'm guessing that that's not true. What really happened?" I thought back and explained to him how Marissa broke up with Ferb and how she was being ultra possessive and he just starred at me.
And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
"Wow." Was all he managed to say before jumping up from the table in the middle of the food court. He held a hand out for me and I took it with caution before he dragged me out of the mall and into my car. "Drive me home." He demanded and I nodded and did as he said. He was acting weird now.
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
When we got to his house he smiled his thanks before jumping out of the car and running to his back yard. I drove away and towards my house. Brad was in the front glaring angrily at me. And I realized this was going to be a replay of what happened at my old house. It was going to be a replay of everything I tried so hard to get away from.
cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
"The school called." He told me as I got out of my car. It never used to be like this. I didn't use to call him by his first name, I used to think he was capable of making everything better, but than he started fighting with my mom, and now all that, well, now I'm the one that seems to be the disappointment. No matter what I do, it can't be good enough. I think he might do it to distract him from the marriage issues he has with his wife, so I usually just sit there quietly and listen.
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero
"They told me you ditched school with a Ferb Fletcher, would you care to explain?" He asked me and I knew that really meant, "I'll pretend to let you be able to reason with me" so I said nothing. "Speak," He demanded and I met his gaze. This would be the first time I ever did that, and I starred at him with as much intensity I could find. "He got dumped so I was trying to make sure he was ok," I told him and he rolled his eyes, "How were you planning on doing that?" He asked in a cruel tone and I could think of anything to say, so I stayed quiet, still starring at him, "You probably slept with him in your car. You're a filthy whore, just like your mother."
All the days you spent with me
Now you seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
Silence filled the air. No words were spoken. He went too far, I had nothing to tell him. He could go to hell for all I cared. So long hero and trying to meet his expectations. Good-bye Love for a father. That word is no lounger in my vocabulary. Brad was Brad, there was no more. I wasn't related to him in anyways.
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
"Shut up." I told him as I glared at him with tears in my eyes about to slip down my pale cheeks, "Shut up, back down, and go to hell," I told him before I walked past him but he just took a step back and got in my way.
cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
"You're grounded from using your car for a week." He told me and I took a step back so I was facing him and smiled a fake and cruel smile, "I don't care," I told him mockingly happy tone and he pointed to the house. "Go to your room." He demanded and I laughed at him, "Where my Ipod, books and life is? Gladly." Before walking gracefully up the stairs and into my room.
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again (right again)
I slipped into my room and lied down on my bed so that I could look at the cracks in the ceiling. I always wanted to meet his expectations, I wanted to be the daughter he could be proud of, but I wasn't ever going to be. I wasn't enough for him. Were his expectations too high or am I just an idiot? Probably a little bit of each.
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand (you don't understand)
I remembered when I was a kid, when I used to get bullied, how Jillian was always out working really late and my dad used to be there from me, but he started to get frustrated with Jillian, and Jillian could never take any responsibility outside of work, so she became snappish and they fought.
cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
So many horrible memories came with their fights. There were the ones where I tried to distract them with me and the ones where I just let it go and cried my eyes out under my bed with a pillow over my head trying to drown out the screaming. Distracting them with me was always the easiest alternative though. I did anything to get them to stop screaming, but one of my teachers said it was for attention, but it wasn't for attention, I just wanted their attention directed away from each other, and I was the easiest thing to use against them. I'd cut my wrist open like an idiotic emo kid, drink to the point where I walked home slurring and smelling of wine, fail any class I could, pick fights with people just so I could lose and come home beaten up and of course refuse any authority. It wasn't for attention, I didn't want people looking at me and whispering, I didn't want all my friends parents telling them they couldn't hang out with me because I'm a bad influence. I wanted friends and happy smiles, I just didn't know how I could distract them and get them at the same time. I just figured it was impossible.
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I wish Phineas was here, I thought without realizing it, and when I did, my eyes opened wide. I didn't need another problem to add to the list. Oh shit
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
!~~Authors note: so that was it! Another problem for Alika. Poor hers! Anyways soooooooooo please review, since I don't get many reviews for this story! I won't update unless I get at least 1 review or 2 "add to favorite stories" thing. Sound fair?
Peace in!
Mel Swirls!
