Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing of any importance except for my character.

A/N: Ok so the last chapter was pretty intense. And it's just going to stay intense for awhile now, so please stick with me through all of this and I promise that there is a method to the madness. Enjoy!

Tears and Rain

Alcohol, it was mans all too powerful medicine. I saw its effects on people who were not strong enough to bear their own problems, yet it could not stop me from drinking.

I drank to forget the pain and hurt I saw in James's eyes, I drank to forget the bliss we experienced, the perfect mind-blowing melding of two bodies, and most of all I drank to forget how much I loved him.

Night after night I worked and left with a bottle and drank my memories and pain away in solitude, and night after night James came to the bar and left with a random girl.

I still had the haunting image of his hurt eyes stuck in my minds eye and his words of hurt still echoed within my ears.

--

"James we can't do this…" I whispered as his lips caressed my sweaty skin. He laughed and pulled me closer into his body. "Tempe, don't say things like that."

I twisted in his arms, so I could face him. "James, I'm serious." Disbelief crossed his face and stayed in the depths of his crystal blue eyes. "But Tempe, I love you." He pressed his lips to my own. "I love you, I love you, I love you.." He repeated kissing me with each proclamation.

I had to decide whether to hurt him or to just give in… It wasn't our time to be together.

"I love you too, James but it just isn't…" I started unsure of how to say this. "It isn't what?" He said as he let go of me. "It isn't what you thought it would be? What is it not?!" His voice began to rise as his temper was getting the best of him.

"It isn't any of those things! It just isn't our time to be together! I love you and what we just shared was everything I thought it would be and more." I shouted back unable to help myself.

"It isn't our time." He mocked, trying to be angry but the mask of hurt that was plastered on his face said otherwise. "When the hell will it be our time then Temperance?"

He hadn't called me Temperance since the first day we met, saying my full name was almost like a knife going through my heart. "When you have your life together, James." I replied coldly.

"Who knows if that will ever happen, Temperance, we can only make do with the time that we have." He no longer caressed the word Temperance it now sounded as though it was an evil curse that he wished upon me.

"You won't die today or tomorrow James, but you will waste into nothingness if you don't get your life together and I can't sit around and watch that happen!"

"And you won't have to, I'll leave your life completely if that's what you want." He said as he started pulling on his clothes.

"James, don't leave like this." I whispered as the tears began to fall.

He pulled on his pants then sat back down. He put his hand to my cheek and wiped off the tears. "Don't cry Tempe, just tell me what you want of me."

"I want you to be the man I know you will be James, I want you to be the man I'll love forever." I took his hand and held it to my face.

"I'm sorry I'm not that man." He stood up. "I don't know if I can ever be that man, Tempe." He started to leave. I ripped the sheet off of my bed and wrapped around me and followed him. "James, don't leave…You can't leave like this." Tears were coursing down my cheeks.

"Jimmy, don't leave without us getting this worked out." He froze. "What did you call me?" I was shocked at how negatively reacted to being called Jimmy. "I called you Jimmy."

"Don't ever call me that again, Tempe." He was gone, he left me crying in a bed sheet.

Thunder clapped overhead and I could hear the steady rhythm of rain falling, I was left all alone with just my tears and rain.

--

I couldn't bear to see him with another woman, yet I knew what I did was for the best in the long run.

He no longer went by James or Jimmy, he always introduced himself as Jim Kirk, and would never offer another name. The pain Jo and Tempe had caused him was too much for him to let anyone else call him by those names.

I drug myself to work after a long night of wallowing in my own self pity, my head was pounding from all of the alcohol consumption and the hangover. I clocked in at six and was supposed to clock out when the bar closed.

It was time to prepare myself for seeing James leave with yet another girl. The only comforting thing was that he would only leave with green-eyed girls, apparently he still cared.

A man with a haunting past that was hidden behind his eyes was sitting at the bar drinking beer like it was water. He was the quintessential human being for the saying 'tall, dark, and handsome' and his eyes were a dark brown that's depths were endless.

"Miss a scotch please." He asked as he raised his empty beer mug. I poured him a scotch and brought him the amber liquid.

His accent was a thick southern one and his voice seemed to be perpetually gruff. I sat the glass in front of him and he downed the fiery liquid quickly. "Another." I refilled the glass and his eyes met my own.

"What sorrows are you drinking away?" I asked as I topped off his glass. His dark eyes appraised me quickly before he replied. "Bitch of an ex-wife, took everything I had in the divorce."

"Now I think that deserves a shot." He smiled at me as I went to get the tequila and two shot glasses. I sat both of the glasses down in front of him and filled them to the brim, I picked up mine.

"To loves lost." I said raising it. "To lives ahead of us." He said smiling. I knocked back the tequila, it burning a path down my throat.

"Leonard McCoy." He said stretching out his hand. "Temperance Black." I replied putting my hand in his own. Instead of shaking it he brought it to his lips. "A pleasure to meet you."

The sound of glass shattering made me look up from this stranger's eyes. It was James, he had begun to ignore his newest conquest as he watched me talk to Leonard, and his glass was at his feet in shards.

Our eyes met and his displayed nothing but hurt and pain. "James." I whispered. He looked away and rushed out of the bar.

Leonard's gruff voice brought me back to the reality of the situation; my eyes were still stuck on the place where James had just stood. "And that was?"

"A lost love…" I slowly replied. His hand found mine. "I think we need another shot."

We downed another shot. "What brought you to Iowa?" I asked enjoying my brief moments off and the company of this stranger. "Star Fleet, I have nothing else except to sign up as a doctor, I leave in two days."

"It looks like we will be seeing a lot of each other for the next four years." I smiled as the words sunk in for him. "You…" He started.

"are a doctor, soon to be cadet. Looks like we will be working together." He smiled. "Well I'm glad I have you to work with."

The evening went on and the bar emptied as the hours drew later. Leonard still sat at the bar but he was only nursing his third scotch.

He still sat there as the time to close came. I was wiping down the counter and I looked at his pathetic form. "You need a place to stay until it is time for us to head to San Francisco?" He looked up from his scotch. "Yes, please."

"Give me ten minutes and I'll be ready." He nodded his head. I walked into the backroom and right into my boss.

"Time to shut up kid, lock the front door on you way out." He said quickly. I nodded my head and took off my apron and sat it in the storage room. I looked around for a drink for Leonard and I to have once we got back to my apartment.

"Ready to go, Leonard?" I smiled at him and lifted the bottle of scotch that I had gotten.

Little did I know that James had watched us leave together and head to my apartment.

--

We sat drinking at my small table. "So Leonard, what made you want to become a doctor?" He chuckled at me, unfortunately alcohol had made us laugh at everything. "First call me Leo, and I don't really know, I always wanted to save people I guess plus I like fixing things, since I apparently can't fix my own life. What about you, Temperance?"

"It's Tempe, and I like fixing people too, I always would fix James up whenever he got in a fight, so it kind of stuck with me."

It had been two hours since the bar closed and we were both completely plastered, and we would more than likely not remember a single thing tomorrow.

A loud banging heard on the door interrupted our drunken conversation. I could vaguely hear yelling. "Tempe, let me in your goddamn apartment!" I stood swaying slightly under the affects of scotch.

My head was spinning as I got to the front door; I pressed the button without checking who was there. James rushed through the door. "Where's the bastard that you're screwing?! Where the hell is he?!"

"What the hell are you talking about James?" He got in my face and the smell of tequila assaulted my nose, he was even further gone than I was. "Where is the man you left the bar with?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." I, a normally not very religious person, prayed that Leo would not come to investigate what was happening.

"Like hell you don't." He said anger etched into his every feature. "James, go home, sleep off this alcohol."

And then right at the worst possible time Leo called out. "Tempe, is everything all right?" James's eyes blazed and he walked to the kitchen his hand already balled into a fist.

I tried to refrain him but he shook me off like I was a rag doll. He strolled right into my kitchen and nailed Leo in the face. "Bastard." He yelled then he turned around and left.

We were all drunk and I just hoped this would be a bad dream when I woke up in the morning; everything went black as my head hit the pillow.