Kurt happened upon (i.e. stole) the most hilarious video Blaine had ever seen, which he promptly shared with the rest of the club, leading it to spread like wildfire on Youtube almost immediately.
Blaine would have felt guiltier about releasing Coach Sylvester's video of her dancing along to 'Physical' if she hadn't made him wear a dunce cap last week, and if it wasn't the first thing to make Kurt smile in days.
He could tell that Kurt was still worried about losing his dad to Finn, but the video and then the stupid 'Glist' provided him with a welcome distraction.
Kurt had gathered Mercedes, Tina and Artie around the piano that Blaine was softly plinking away at.
He placed the anonymously-composed list of the most sexually promiscuous glee members down on the piano top. "Fellow glee clubbers, our reputations have never been lower. We are at Def Con 1."
Blaine hit the keys hard, playing, Dun dun dun.
"This is not a joke, Blaine," Kurt said to him.
"No, we're the jokes," Tina said glumly.
"We got scored worse than Rachel Berry," Mercedes complained. "We aren't even on the damn list."
"Well," Artie put in, "Blaine is."
"I'm just as baffled as you guys," he said. Right between Matt Rutherford at 5 and Rachel at -5, there he was at a cool zero.
"'Baffled' isn't the word I would use," Mercedes said, lips pursed.
Blaine leaned back in his seat. "Are you- Are you guys seriously mad that I made it onto this ridiculous list?"
"I just don't understand why you seem to have a worse reputation than us," Artie said lightly.
"You realize I'm at zero, right? It was probably just to further infuriate Rachel." He took the page off the piano looked it over. "Also, this is just a list ranked on sexual exploits. Are you really surprised we aren't on it?"
But they had noticed Brittany still sitting in the choir room for some reason and hadn't heard him.
Blaine rolled his eyes and, as they talked to the Cheerio, grabbed a pen from his bag to scribble out the top four names and replace it with Kurt, Tina, Mercedes and Artie's. He slapped it down when he was done saying, "There. Happy?"
Tina narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you joking?"
"What? That has just as much integrity as the original list. It's some random person's guess as to who's been the most scandalous. Can we not worry about this anymore?"
"No, it's been decided. We're dancing in the library," Kurt said with a determined nod.
"What?"
"We're gonna get ourselves a bad reputation," Mercedes said smugly.
They all seemed very pleased with their plan, and since they seemed to be mad at him, he decided to just go with it. "Anyway I can help?" he sighed.
Kurt smiled at him, and he knew it would be worth it.
So Kurt, Blaine, Artie, Tina, Mercedes and Brittany performed 'Can't Touch This' in the library, which was super fun even if Blaine was worried about getting detention the whole time. There was something about the spontaneity of it that he really liked, which he assumed he'd gotten the taste for through glee club's constantly random performances.
Also, he got to dance on top of a table and wear parachute pants. What's not to like?
Unfortunately (except to Blaine), the librarian ended up loving their performance and expressed interest in them performing at her church.
"Well that was a bust," Mercedes sighed, disappointed, as they gathered in the choir room afterwards.
"How could disrupting the library not earn us bad reputations?" Kurt wondered aloud.
"It's because only dweebs like you think that pissing off the librarian is the worst thing you can do," Santana announced from the doorway. She rolled her eyes as she joined them in their seats. "Nobody cool even knows where the library is."
"Well, at least we had fun-"
Kurt waved a hand dismissively at Blaine to shut him up. "What would you suggest, Satan?"
Her lips twisted into a tell-tale smirk, and Blaine braced himself for the worst. "Any of you losers ever hear of a little place called Scandals?"
"If I'd known it was this easy to get a fake ID I'd have gotten one years ago," Tina said that night as they waited around Mercedes' car in the parking lot of the club Santana had directed them to.
"For what?" Mercedes asked.
Her cheeks darkened. "They have really nice corsets in sex shops, okay?"
"Are we going to stand here all night talking about weird prepubescent fantasies or are we going into a bar to do some damage control on your reps?" Santana asked, staring them down.
"I still don't understand why you insisted on coming with us," Kurt said.
"Yeah, you're already second on the Glist."
"Unlike you dorks, I don't measure my coolness factor based off some stupid piece of paper. I came to make sure your geekiness doesn't rub off on my girl Brittany."
"Can we go dancing now?" the girl in question whined.
"Yes. If sneaking into a bar while underage doesn't make us bad asses then nothing will," Kurt nodded. His nervousness was betrayed only by the white-knuckled grip he kept on his fake ID.
Blaine was just glad he'd stopped trying to break up Carole and his dad.
"Shall we?" He offered his arm.
Kurt looped his arm through his with a thankful smile and they made their way across the parking lot.
The group got into the club without a problem, and once they were inside Santana immediately hustled them over to the bar. "Okay, everybody drink."
While everyone except Mercedes, the DD, deliberated on what to order, Blaine looked around the small bar with interest. There was a juke box in the corner that he was eager to check out, a pool table, a disco ball, some rainbow flags on the wall, two guys making out in a corner booth…
"Santana," he said, also noticing some Madonna posters and a drag queen sipping on a margarita.
"What's up, Blanderson? Picked your poison yet?" she asked, holding up her fruity pink drink.
"Is this a gay bar?" he squeaked.
"What?" Kurt asked, spinning around on his seat, cocktail in hand.
She winked at Blaine, miming a blow job and nodding at Kurt, which he thankfully missed.
"Oh my God," Kurt intoned, obviously spotting the same tell-tale signs that Blaine had. "We have to get out of here."
"Whoa, what's your problem?" Santana asked, pushing him back down into his seat. "You're gay, aren't you?"
His cheeks flushed. "That is beside the point. This isn't going to get us any higher on the Glist!"
She rolled her eyes. "Who gives a shit about that stupid Glist? Don't you wanna have fun? Make out with boys?"
"Can I talk to you in private?" Blaine cut in, dragging her away before she could respond. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.
"You should be thanking me, Hobbit. You are now at a gay bar with your crush. Get drunk, get grinding, get your head in the game." She smacked his forehead. "Try to tell me this isn't the perfect place for you two to fall in love?"
Blaine glared at her balefully as he rubbed his head. "The effects of alcohol-"
"One drink won't kill you. And nobody's going to yell shit at you if you two end up humping like dogs in heat on the dance floor- which I expect to see. Now drag his tight ass off into a dance instead of staring at it lustfully like usual." She pushed him back to the bar, making him stumble into Kurt's back.
He jumped and spun around to face him.
"Um. May I have this dance?" Blaine asked, holding out his hand nervously.
Kurt's eyes bulged. "Are you serious? You want us to stay?"
He shrugged. "Why not? We're already here, right?" Now that Blaine thought about it, he was kind of grateful to Santana for bringing them here. All he wanted to do that night was dance with Kurt, which wouldn't be advisable in any normal bar in Ohio. "And," he said, leaning forward scrunching his face, "we are gay, so."
"Th- they aren't," he stuttered, waving at the rest of their friends already on the dance floor.
"Looks like they're having fun anyway," he said, watching Brittany teach Tina how to do a body roll. "What do you say we join them?"
Kurt let Blaine lead him to their friends, eyes shifting around nervously while Blaine shot him encouraging smiles as they began to dance.
After a few songs, Blaine inspected the juke box to find that it had tons of show tunes which he immediately began playing, much to Kurt's enthusiasm. He finally started to relax, his shoulders shimmying a little more willingly, his voice a little stronger as he sang along to the music. It sounded stupid, but Blaine was so happy to see Kurt happy.
The group owned the dance floor. They sang loudly (and on-tune; even after a few drinks they were still glee kids) and danced elaborately, and no one asked them if they were old enough to be in there, or told them to calm down or asked if it was really right how close Kurt and Blaine (or Santana and Brittany for that matter) were dancing.
Blaine loved not having to worry about what other people thought when his hands lingered on Kurt's hips, or the way his eyes zeroed in on Kurt's tongue when he licked his lips. He only had to think about what Kurt wanted, what Kurt was comfortable with, and from his ever-present smile and his hands tight on Blaine's shoulders, he was enjoying himself just as much as Blaine was.
Santana picked a song from the juke box and strode back over to them with a wicked smirk on her face. "In the spirit of this week's glee assignment, I present you with Rod Stewart's classic love ballad. Blaine, I think you know what to do?"
He tilted his head, listening to the opening chords of the song and realizing the irony she used the words 'classic love ballad' with. He shot her an incredulous look, and she mouthed along to the background lyrics, "Sugar, sugar" before pointing insistently at him to take over.
His eyes flicked to Kurt, who was watching him, lips quirked in amusement as he waited to see if he'd obey. And, well, Blaine was never one to turn down a solo.
"She sits alone, waiting for suggestions," he sang, standing at arm's length from Kurt, still holding his hand. "His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding."
He thumped on his chest, spinning a blushing Kurt in a circle. "Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?"
"Blaine!" he laughed, skittering behind Mercedes to distance himself from his ridiculousness.
Blaine shrugged, pulling a nearby Tina into his arms. "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on, sugar, let me know."
She giggled and kissed his cheek before passing him off to Brittany. "If you really need me just reach out and touch me, come on, honey, tell me so."
She smacked him on the butt and Blaine was sort of regretting doing this now but he wasn't about to give up halfway through a performance. She took the lead over the musical bridge and then he dropped her off with Santana before returning to Kurt.
"He's acting shy, looking for an answer," he sang, over-exaggeratedly batting his eyelashes. "Aw come on, honey." Kurt pretended to ignore him, looking at an autographed picture of David Bowie on the wall. "Let's spend the night together."
Kurt's face flushed red and Blaine threw his hands up, palms out. "Now hold on a minute, before we go much further. Give me a dime, so I can call my mother."
He rolled his eyes at Blaine's hand telephone, and then Blaine pulled him forward to dance with him through the rest of the verse until he ran away just before the chorus. He sang to Mercedes and then Artie and then Santana pushed Kurt into his arms again.
Blaine smiled at him, one hand on his hip and the other firmly ensconced in Kurt's and spun them around during the slightly more intense part of the song. "Relax, baby, now we're all alone," he crooned softly, accidentally backing into a wall.
Their eyes met, chests flush against each other's. Kurt's mouth was slightly agape, red and shining in the low light of the club. Blaine couldn't stop staring at it, which is why he noticed immediately when it was getting closer. His gaze jumped from Kurt's lips to his eyes, and found that they were focused on Blaine's lips, too. He could feel Kurt's heart beating just as fast as his own as he leaned forward towards him, his hand tightening around his own where it was pressed against the wall.
His eyelids fell shut and he tilted his head forward just the slightest bit, feeling Kurt's warm breath ghosting over his face. Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine's tentatively, so soft that they were barely there, but it was the most incredible moment of his life regardless. He sighed into the kiss, pressing forward a little so their lips were connected more firmly. Kurt moved his hand from Blaine's shoulder to his face, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb as their mouths moved slowly against each other's.
"Geddit, Anderson!" Santana's cry caused Kurt to tear away from him, cheeks burning red.
"Kurt." He reached out for him, but Kurt spun away.
"It's time to go home now," he said, and Blaine barely heard him over the music.
"Kurt, I-"
"I want to go home," he repeated in a tone that left no room for argument.
"Yeah, okay," he agreed, heart in his shoes.
The car ride home was eerily quiet, the seven of them crammed into Mercedes' mom's minivan but none of them making any attempts at conversation. They'd all seen Kurt and Blaine kiss, as well as Kurt's entirely awkward blow-off of Blaine after.
"I can give you guys lessons," Brittany offered after Tina and Artie had been dropped off. Blaine clenched his hands in his lap, but nobody said anything except Santana who tried to shush her. "No but like, somebody must have done something wrong, right? While they were kissing," she added as if any of them were in doubt about what she was talking about.
He coughed past the lump in his throat and leaned towards her. "Brittany, can you just stop talking about it please?"
"Well it was the most exciting thing that happened in there, I don't know why nobody's talking about it!"
Mercedes pulled up into Kurt's driveway and he shot out after muttering a quick, "Thanks for the drive."
As soon as he shut the door Blaine started breathing so deeply and quickly that he thought he was going to hyperventilate. "Why did that happen?" he gasped.
"Oh so we're talking about you two kissing now?" Brittany asked. "It was hot."
"Santana, that went wrong. That went very wrong!" he accused, gulping down air. "You said nothing could go wrong!"
She shrugged. "Maybe it's different for gay boys. How the hell am I supposed to know? It would've worked on me, sorry your guy's a prude."
"Oh God. It's gone. It's all… I fucked it all up," he rambled, running a hand through his hair. They kissed and it was magical and everything he'd been dreaming of for months and then Kurt basically ran away from him. "Shit."
He got out his phone and started scrolling through his contacts.
"What is he doing?" Mercedes asked from the driver's seat, peeking at him through the rear view mirror.
"I'm gonna text Kurt," he said.
"Oh no, I don't think drunk texting is gonna help any."
Santana snorted. "He's not drunk. None of us are."
"How would you know?" Mercedes asked as Blaine started typing up a message of apology.
Santana reached over his seat and stole his phone from him.
"Hey!"
She stuck it in her bra. "There wasn't any alcohol in those drinks. You virgins just couldn't tell the difference."
"But we- we were acting silly-"
"Um, you people always do that. And anyway, so was Mercedes." She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Contrary to beer commercials, you don't actually need alcohol to have a good time. Ya'll were stone cold sober."
"But didn't everybody order boozey drinks?" Mercedes asked.
"Yeah, I guess Hummel's baby face gave away that we're sophomores in high school," she replied dryly.
"Then can I have my phone back please?" Blaine asked in a small voice.
She smacked him on the head. "If he wanted to talk to right this second, he would be. You can wait 'til tomorrow, gel head."
Blaine indeed waited until tomorrow, wherein Kurt ignored him as if he were actually carrying the bubonic plague.
After Rachel presented her disasterpiece of 'Run, Joey, Run', they weren't really doing anything in Glee, so Blaine went to sit beside Kurt and hopefully figure it out.
"Kurt," he said. "We kind of need to talk."
He nodded, gaze stuck on the floor. "Yeah, I'm um, sorry. About last night."
"What?"
"We were drunk, and if we could just um not talk about it ever again and pretend it didn't happened, that would be great," he said quietly, fiddling with his cufflinks.
He didn't think it was possible, but he felt even worse than he had the night before when Kurt asked to go home immediately after they had their first kiss. "Why?" he asked, voice broken.
Kurt snapped his head up to look at him, brows furrowing as he took in the heartbroken look on Blaine's face. "Why are you so upset?"
"Why would I want to forget my first kiss with you, Kurt?" he replied, eyes wide.
"What do you mean? Blaine, we were drunk, I didn't-"
"No we weren't! The bartender didn't serve us drinks with any alcohol," he told him. "Kurt, I'm sorry, but that kiss meant something to me. I'm not going to forget it."
Kurt stared at him, lips parted. "What- what did it mean to you?" he asked, voice raspy.
For the first time in the conversation Blaine felt optimistic, because he saw no trepidation or horror in Kurt's expression, just a very tentative hope.
Blaine swallowed down his nervousness and carefully took one of Kurt's hands in his. "Kurt, you are my best friend. And you're smart, and talented, and brave, and… handsome," his mouth twitched into a smile at Kurt's widening eyes. "And I just want to be with you. That's really it. And I thought that kiss might be the start of something... new between us."
Kurt stared at him, mouth open. "And by 'new' you mean, like. More kissing?"
He smiled. "If you wanted to. If not, ignore me and let me crawl into a hole for eternity."
"I- I. Really?" he asked breathlessly.
"Yeah. I take it you're… receptive to the idea?" he asked, a bit of tension releasing from his chest.
He nodded quickly, eyes bright. "Yes. Oh my God, Blaine. How is that even a question?"
Blaine grinned, practically bouncing in his chair. He brought Kurt's hand in his up to his mouth, kissed it quickly, leaving Kurt red as a tomato.
"Blaine," he muttered, looking around.
"Sorry. I'm excited."
"You look like a puppy," he laughed, face open and content. "How long have you wanted… Us to kiss?"
Blaine looked up at the ceiling, thinking. "Push It," he admitted with a blush.
He frowned. "Push wha- Oh my God. The performance? That was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life!"
He shrugged. "I had to admire anybody with the guts… and hips, to do that."
Kurt slapped his arm. "You are ridiculous."
"But you like it," he smiled widely.
He side-eyed him, lips slowly tugging up at the corners. "Yeah. I guess I do."
The song Blaine sang was Do You Think I'm Sexy by Rod Stewart, and Darren sang a cover of it for the Warblers and also live on the piano, so go check that out. Comments are always appreciated :)
