Chapter Twelve
Worth the Agony
Jasper had three hours until his delayed flight, but it was an unbearable thought to go home. There was something that Alice hadn't told Bella, and that was that the wedding had been moved up a day. Edward and Bella were getting married that day. Alice foresaw her better behaved if it was sprung on her last minute. For one, there wouldn't be an anxiety attack.
He watched a second plane leave the runway into the air. He thought of the last night they shared and how in a short amount of time he would be leaving it all behind. There was no escaping her though... She would forever be apart of him, apart of his very core. Every time he closed his eyes she was there, a permanent etch into the back of his lids.
He lied when he told her they had been a mistake. If there was any mistake it was the distance he kept from her in the beginning, letting his brother move in on her. Things could've been different. Instead of sitting alone in an airport running from his only true family he would be waking up next to her. There would've been the real possibility she wouldn't have woken up, she would have been changed. Instead they would have been doing something else...
Every memory he had of her was precious, but he only wished he had something more tangible of hers. Anything would have done, a CD, a ribbon, anything at all. He wanted something to hold. Was it unreasonable when he couldn't hold her?
Jasper glanced at his watch. One-hundred and twenty minutes and it would be final. He was going to lose everything.
***
Alice kept a firm hand over Bella's eyes. Though she knew Alice would never run her into anything she kept her hands out in front of her anyway. It was disorienting even when she was aware that she was being led into her friend's room, possibly trailing droplets. She hadn't been allowed to dry off, at least not until she was shown the surprise. She hated surprises. She hated gifts and there was no doubt that it was one.
In her mind's eye she could Alice's room, the sea-green comforter on the old-style wrought iron bed. The torn pages from various magazines over the years taped to the walls and the low hanging light fixture above that cloaked the room in a soft glow.
Alice's hand was gone and she reluctantly opened her eyes and saw that she was facing the bed, on it something slim and white. It was a dress. It was simple with a cream colored sash wrapped around the waist.
"What is it," she asked.
Alice sighed irritatingly and held it up. "It's your wedding dress." She looked worried. "Don't you like it?"
She smiled fingering the satin. "It's beautiful, but it's..."
"What?"
"It's not something you'd pick out for me."
"You don't want to marry my brother, Bella."
She didn't want to admit to that. She said nothing.
"I'm going to make this as painless as possible." She laid the dress over her arms. "He loves you."
"I know he does..."
"I was talking about Jasper.
Involuntarily, she cringed. "I made a real mess of things... We kept it a secret so we would do this right, so we wouldn't tear apart the family..."
Alice led her to the bed to sit down, handing her a tissue from her bedside. "Listen, Bella. You didn't do it for the family. Maybe that was your intention at first, but the real reason because you didn't want to hurt Edward. In the long run, it was terrible. You know he would only be upset that he felt he wasn't worth the truth."
"I'm sorry," she wailed, tears spilling. "I'm so sorry." She clutched the dress closer and Alice tried to loosen her grip, no doubt to prevent wrinkles from forming.
"You're not a bad person. No, listen to me, you're not! You didn't do it out of spite, out of selfishness, or any other reason than because you love Jasper. Love isn't wrong, it shouldn't be. How you went about it, yes, it was wrong, but that doesn't make you a bad person. Your guilt, it shows that you're not. This, right here, your tears," she touched her wet cheek, "and willing to marry Edward."
She sniffed. "I owe him this."
"You owe him the truth. Marrying him won't make anything better."
"You can see that?"
"I don't have to."
She straightened, wiping her tears on her shirt. By nature she was stubborn, she wasn't going to give up. She had gone that far, had made him a promise, and she intended to keep it. It had to do some good, show him how much she meant to him.
"Put on the dress," Alice sighed.
Confused, she asked, "why?"
"I need to know if it needs to be altered."
"You've never gotten me a wrong size."
"Please, Bella, don't argue. Not today. Trust me."
There was such intensity in those words that Bella didn't question her. She did trust her. She probably shouldn't have...
***
The family would be inviting the guests in, Esme greeting each one warmly while keeping their distance from Emmett and the men drawing towards Rosalie, or staying a good amount of distance away due to shyness. Jasper could imagine and he was glad that he wasn't there. Knowing it was hard enough. Bella, his Bella, was going to marry his brother in twenty-eight minutes. She would be his sister. That fact had his stomach rolling.
Another plane took flight and then horror struck him, for he smelled a woodsy aroma, out of place in the airport. His brother plopped down beside him.
Jasper nodded in solemn acknowledgment. "You're not going to talk me out of this."
"Alice thinks differently."
"Then say what you have to and we'll see."
"Come back."
"No, it didn't work."
Emmett waved his hand impatiently. "Give me a moment, jeez." He tapped his fingers on the armrest. "Alice doesn't always rely on her visions. She knows that it changes. She can't see you two together because your decision isn't to be with her. That doesn't mean she doesn't know. Don't' be so difficult, Jazz. You want her, so go get her and stop making all of our lives miserable. We want her in our family but only if she's happy. You are a 142 years old, bro. Time to grow up."
He growled. "She wants him. She asked for the ring."
"You left her."
"I killed a woman, Em."
"You've killed a lot of people. She's just another human."
"Is Bella just another human?"
"... No."
"This woman had a family, a man that loved her. Bella goes into the woods too, she gets lost. If that was her... I still wouldn't have been able to stop. I've almost killed her once, I'm not going to risk that again. I would have had her changed, but... I was an idiot."
"That's right," he guffawed. "You think she doesn't know the risks? She knows. You know, you're acting a lot like Edward, thinking he knew what was best for her instead of letting her decide for herself."
Jasper burned at that observation. "I'm respecting her decision to marry him. I am letting her make her own choice. I was going to go after her but it was too late. And besides that, Edward didn't kill someone while he was seeing her. He didn't take her away from me. He didn't watch her ask a man who loved her for a ring. I did. I thought maybe -"
"She would be better off without you?"
"I know her emotions better than anyone. I thought maybe if she latched onto him the way she did Jacob then..."
Emmett kicked him. "If you don't go to her now it'll be too late. If she's worth agony she's worth everything, and everything you've been through would be in vain. Things happen for a reason. You think if Rosalie and I were both human at the same time that her parents would allow me to marry her?" He guffawed again. "No. I would've never been good enough for her. And so I think we are who we are for a reason. You and Bella are meant to be. You know very well she wouldn't judge you for killing someone. She has never judged any of us."
"You think I was turned into a vampire to wait a 142 years for her?"
"I think you only get one shot at this." He looked at his watch. "Fifteen minutes."
He was right. She had never judged, always loved them. Jasper wasn't just keeping her at bay because he was afraid he'd kill her, it was for her happiness. What if she felt too guilty for whatever pain she would cause Edward? How could he live with himself knowing he was the reason? He knew the answer to those questions and none of them mattered.
At the fastest human speed possible, Jasper left the airport, just as his plane left the ground.
