Merle
Heard a couple of walkers so I headed outside to take care of them. I threw an, 'I'll be back,' over my shoulder as I went out to take care of it. They barely acknowledged me, both focused on their drinking game. "Ain't never needed a game ta get lit before," I smirked at baby brothers I Never as I shut the door behind me. The walkers didn't notice the door open and me slipping out. I can tell they're older. Slower moving and fucking oblivious. I hopped down from the porch and behind the first walker. I had my blade thrust up into its chin and into its brain before either could turn around. I pulled free and let it crumple to the ground before turning to other one. The walker used to be a young girl, probably sugar's age. Shit, I just got the image of Beth as a fucking walker.
What if she hadn't been training with little brother and she went in those tombs? Or went a little further and got more than she could handle? She could have been bit too easy. Thought for a second she was sitting down there covered in the blood of walkers that she was. Could have lost her for good.
I grabbed the walker and stabbed it through the eye, pushing it to the ground. Dragged them both out to the trees so they're out of sight.
Headed back inside after pissing and smoking. "Sure as hell never cut my wrist looking for attention!" Baby brother's standing in front of Sugar, hollering. What the fucks he doing yelling at her? Mother-fucker better not have her crying. Don't think I give two shits if he's my brother or not if he's got her crying and upset.
Beth
"I've never been in jail. I mean as a prisoner," I said taking my turn.
Daryl's eyes narrowed, "That what'cha think o' me?"
"I didn't mean anything serious. I mean like the drunk-tank. Even my Dad got locked up for that. An' I know Merle's been in jail."
"Drink up."
"Wait, prison guard? Were you a prison guard? Before?" Everyone's always curious what he was before. He hasn't even told me, despite how close we are.
"No."
I'm really disappointed I didn't ask the right one. "Yer turn again."
"Gotta take a piss," He said starting to get loud. I don't know where Merle went and I don't want walkers hearing us, even if we're God knows how far into the woods.
Daryl got up, moving so he's in the corner of the room facing the wall. I can hear him unzip his zipper and undo his belt, then start to pee. "Ya gotta be quiet," I told him.
"Can't hear ya. Takin' a piss." He called back, voice getting little louder.
"Daryl!" Don't talk so loud!"
"What? Ya my chaperone now?" He turned around, redoing his belt and zipping his paints. He started walking towards me. "Oh wait, it's my turn now. I never, oh, never eaten frozen yogurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothin' from Santi Claus." He punctuated each I Never with a slap to the back of dirty yellow chair. "Never relied on anyone for protection, before. Never relied on anyone for anything."
"Daryl," I don't know what to say or do. He's so angry all of a sudden.
He paced back and forth before coming to stand in front of me. "Never sung out in a big group out in public like everything was fun. Like everything was a big game. Sure as hell never cut my wrist for attention." He made a cutting motion towards his wrist. He's staring down at me, chest heaving.
Is that what this is all about? He hates me because of something I did before we were even friends, not even together? That's why they brought me with them. They don't trust me not to do it again. They don't love me. They're just doing their job for the group. EVERYONE HAS A JOB TO DO. I felt a tear trickle from my eye and I swiped it away. Merle may have wanted to be with me before I screwed everything up, now he and Daryl are with me because they feel some sort of duty.
Daryl's not in front of me anymore. Merle grabbed him and pulled him backwards a few steps, spinning him so they're nose to nose.
"What the fuck ya doin', boy? Fuckin' makin' her cry when we're supposed ta be protectin' her. Goddamn point o' bringin' her with was to keep the girl happy an' safe."
Every one has a job to do. I'm their job.
"Playin' her fuckin' game, keepin' her happy. So's she won't go off an' slit her fuckin' wrists again." Daryl hissed. I didn't see Merle's arm move, just saw Daryl's head fly backwards from the impact. It took Daryl a second to move before he threw a punch at Merle.
Two punches from them and I screamed, "Just stop!" They both stopped, and started staring at me. "We all have jobs to do. I get it, now. Ya shouldn't fight 'cause of a stupid job ya have." I spun around and out through the still open front door.
Daryl
I don't know what the hell possessed me to start being a dick to her, saying the shit I did, especially about her cutting her wrists. Guess I must have seen her playing with her scar or something, set me off. Booze loosened my tongue and got my blood boiling. Should have known better than to drink with her. Didn't fucking realize I was being a dick till Merle got in my face, started throwing punches with my brother until she yelled to stop and something about fighting because of a job. "What the fucks that mean?" Merle asked. She shut the door behind her as she went outside. Merle punched me again and I didn't move to block it or nothing. I figure I deserve it.
Went outside after her, she's just sitting there, back against the porch railing, singing softly. Merle's right behind me.
"Don't wake me up if I'm sleeping this life away
Tell me that I'll never be good enough
Sometimes it hurts to think it could really be that way
It won't be that way
I'm tired ad I'm lost
I don't wanna be found
I put my heart and soul
And strength in this now
So forgive me 'cause I wont forget that
Yeah, this world has changed me
So you know when you ask me
Who are you now?
Did you say what you want?
Don't go back to the start"
Beth
I started singing the first song that came to mind, so I won't cry. I stopped singing halfway through the song since my chaperones are standing in front of me now.
"What'cha mean fighting 'cause of a job?"
"We all have jobs to do," I said to Merle.
"What fuckin' job, suga?"
"To keep me safe, I'm the only one that can't protect myself, right? Especially from myself. So ya'll got stuck with protectin' me. It makes sense now. No one trusts me to do anythin' more than take care o' Judith an' nobody trusts me not to cut my wrists again. I didn't do it for attention, ya know. Did it 'cause I wanted the pain to stop. I didn't want to live in such an ugly world. I wouldn't forgive me either, ya know. I screwed up everything with both of ya."
"Ya think yer jus' a job ta us?" Daryl asked.
"Why the fuck would ya think that?"
"'Cause it's true. Why the heck would ya bring me if it weren't? Why would ya'll be doin' this sharin' thing? I screwed up everything. It's alright. I know ya'll don' love me."
"Ya think we don' love ya?"
Thank you to Texasbelle91 for looking over some of the beginning of this and reassuring me it wasn't crap, as well as get some idea as wtf was going to happen.
A huge thank you to the one and only beyondmythoughts for being my slave driver and pushing me to get this out there. I couldn't have gotten it here with out her. She also bounced ideas back and forth with me so I have some idea of the next few chapters.
I don't know where this story would be with out those two. Thank you both very much! 3
Go read all of their stories and leave them lots of pretty reviews! They deserve it!
and sorry for the long wait on this! I'll have updates for everything ASAP!
