Chapter 12- Not Tonight

October 1965

"Ya know, this was supposed ta be a surprise." Jude chastised teasingly, laying her head back against Timothy's neck.

Timothy stood behind Jude holding her in his arms as she cooked. He cradled her and they rocked back and forth to the tune of the soft jazz that played in the background, almost dancing even as most of their attention was focused elsewhere. Both of their hands came to rest on her fast growing stomach. Timothy's large hands almost covered her entire middle even partially covering her own hand. Jude was much larger now and was nearly six months pregnant. If you were there, it would seem as if the unborn baby took center stage, at least, for a moment or two.

"And it is a wonderful surprise." He leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

"Timothy I wanted to do this for ya…not with ya."

"That's nice, but this is fun too. And this, this is amazing." He said, rubbing her stomach softly.

"What?" She asked, paying more attention to the cooking than she was to her husband.

"The baby, it's moving…a lot." He laughed. The baby had started kicking weeks before, but he and Jude were still overwhelmed by it and couldn't get enough of feeling or talking to the baby.

"I think she just likes her Daddy's hug." Jude said because she liked the hug. It made her feel loved and made her aching back feel better too.

"No." He laughed. "I think she's dancing like Mommy and Daddy were."

The baby actually had been dancing; bouncing up and down and kicking to the rhythm of the music her parent's were listening to.

"Nah." Jude teased. She too believed that the baby had been dancing and he knew that. "She just loves Daddy."

"Well I certainly hope she does because I can't wait to meet her."

"Oh yes you can, she's got three and a half more months and I don't want anything happening to this little angel."

"Neither do I Jude, neither do I." He kissed her shoulder. "I never, in my life, thought I'd be someone's Father."

"I've wanted, all my life to be a Mother…and I thought it was too late far me…I wrote it off so long ago and I love this baby so much…I think I'm a little afraid I'll screw this up."

"Oh Jude you're going to make the perfect Mommy you won't mess anything up, I promise. No one who loves a baby as much as you love ours could mess this up that badly. Oh, do you feel that, there's another one!" He asked of another kick.

"Oh yes I do." Jude laughed.

"You are going to make a perfect Mother." He reassured.

"I hope so." She said, allowing one of her hands to move back down to her stomach.

"I promise." He kissed her neck. "Jude are you…making what I think you're making?"

"Um." She purred, resting the back of her head against his shoulder. "If ya think I'm makin yar favorite then yes, yes I am."

She giggled as he engaged her lips with his own. He loved it when he kissed her sort of upside down like this. In some strange way it felt almost more intimate. Jude felt his hands still on her belly as he caressed her in his embrace and he returned to rocking her to the tune of the music, the baby still seeming to bounce around almost excitedly inside her.

Timothy paused, happy to feel their child who was a manifestation of their love in the flesh. He smiled, thinking that whoever this little person was, he or she seemed so happy already and it was amazing. Their unborn baby's joy somehow took him back to Briarcliff for a moment because it, and their whole lives now were in such complete contrast to life at the asylum.

In hindsight, Timothy realized how horrible life there had been and he could barely believe that he and Jude had once went about the place with routines…like being there was normal. Timothy buried his head in his wife's shoulder as he held her, so grateful for how things had turned out. He could never, for a moment, imagine any child of his having anything to do with Briarcliff and tried to wipe the thought from his memory the moment it crossed his mind.

"I love you Jude. Thank you for making my very favorite." He said, kissing her bare shoulder once more.

"Ummm I love you more Timothy." She promised. Timothy sighed, happy that the coq au vin was the one thing from Briarcliff that they were going to keep.

Mary Eunice sighed, shutting the big wooden door to Jude's old room behind her. It was her room now but it didn't feel like home …in fact, living there made her feel uncomfortable, as though she were infringing on her former mentor's territory. Mary felt such sorrow over the loss of Jude. The anguish only seemed to increase every time she walked into this place that she still thought of as Jude's. But Mary had no choice except to make it her refuge.

She was exhausted and felt like she'd just been beaten senseless, every inch of her body ached beyond reason. She supposed that was to be expected, keeping these hours in her condition. Being head of Briarcliff was demanding and in hindsight she had more respect for Jude now than ever before. Every morning she got up at five and didn't get back to her room until late at night, giving her little time to relax and stay off her feet. Mary grimaced as she removed her shoes, finally giving her swollen feet some semblance of relief after a day's worth of walking. She took a deep breath, beginning to remove her habit, the heavy fabric slid off, leaving her in just her slip.

"Hi sweetheart." She whispered very quietly, caressing her unborn baby's frame.

Mary could barely believe she was getting away with this. She was eight months pregnant and somehow her habit still concealed the baby, although barely. She knew that by the end of the ninth month she might not be so lucky. Dr. Arden insisted that you couldn't tell she was pregnant when she wore her habit but Mary thought some of the older nuns, the ones close to Mother Claudia's age, who were nurses, could tell. Mary knew she walked differently and that her exhaustion sometimes displayed its self almost as if it went before her. For that reason, Arden had put her on a strict diet in the hopes that she wouldn't gain much more weight. The diet kept the baby well nourished but left her feeling tired, drained and hungry.

Mary lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, allowing her hand to stay on the baby. She had to consciously work not to stroke her stomach during the day and she found it very difficult to do so. The child would kick, roll around and even respond to noises. Briarcliff was no doubt a frightening place and sometimes, she could tell that her baby was scared. The infant would suddenly jump and begin to kick frenetically when a patient was completely out of control and making noise. Mary had to fight everything in her to not place her hands on her stomach and try to soothe him when this happened. Mary was scared, she didn't know how she was going to be a Mother to this child, but it was in moments like these that she realized she was a Mother no less.

"Mommy's sorry honey." She whispered. "We're going to go and stay with Dr. Arden again this weekend…Mommy will be able to pay more attention to you there."

Mary jumped when she heard a loud knock on her door. She sighed and sat up, reaching for her habit, expecting that she'd have to get up to deal with some ridiculous emergency.

"Who is it?" She called coldly.

"Sister, it's just me." Arden informed.

"Oh." Mary dropped her habit and instead put on her robe before answering the door. "Hi Dr. Arden." She smiled.

Arden paused for a moment, staring at her in her beige slip. It made her pregnancy very obvious but still managed to make her attractive…almost enticing. Arthur quickly put these thoughts out of his mind and shut the door behind him quickly so no one would walk by and see Mary.

"I've brought you a gift."

"Oh Arthur that's so sweet!" She squealed, taking the package from him.

Arthur couldn't help but smile. He was angry with Mary Eunice for all that had happened but now that she was back, he couldn't help but enjoy seeing her genuinely happy, especially because it happened so rarely now.

"Ooh it's for the baby! It's a big blanket….and it's blue!" Mary looked over the blanket and smiled at him. She had nothing for this baby and was excited to finally get something. "Arthur, are we thinking this baby's a boy?"

"Perhaps." He said, pretending not to care as much as she.

"Good! I think so too." She caught Arden smile a little out of the corner of her eye when she turned to put down the blanket.

Truthfully, part of the old Nazi was excited. He'd loved Mary's purity and still mourned it. Despite the fact that she was 'herself' now he'd never fully see her the same way again…but the baby was another story. He or she would give him the chance to see that purity once more and this time, to protect it. Mary's child was going to be his one chance to be involved in something indisputably good in life and while he wouldn't admit it to her, the idea of being Uncle Arthur was growing on him a little.

"I-I knew you'd be hungry, so I also brought you…"

"The bacon sandwich! Oh the bacon sandwich thank you Arthur!" Mary bit into the sandwich right away. "The new Monsignor…" She said in between bites. "He wouldn't let me rest during dinner and I had to leave the dining hall and," She took another bite. Arden was growing displeased by her words. "And they didn't have anything saved for me when I came back."

Arthur didn't really know how to react. The truth was, the new Monsignor was a slave driver who didn't like Mary Eunice and kept her on her feet as often as he could. The relationship reminded him of what is relationship with Jude had been like, except the hostilities were much worse and totally unprovoked. The new Monsignor hadn't been there when Mary was, as she insisted "possessed by the devil" and didn't know anything but the "real" Mary Eunice: the one no reasonable person could find fault with. Arden couldn't understand who would dislike the real Mary so much and felt angered about it, like he wanted to protect her from this man... That in its self bothered him…he'd never felt sentimental or, protective toward anyone in his life and it sort of…scared him….He could, however, relate to one other emotion he was feeling on the matter and he channeled all his feeling over the issue into it: anger.

"Well that's why you tell me. If he denies you anything: food, a break…I'll make sure to get it for you." Arden was in the middle of trying to wrap the new Monsignor around his finger anyway, for the sake of his research. "Anyway Sister, I better be going…."

"No!" She said, a little too excitedly. "No, please sit, stay for a while."

"I wish I could. But, there's a storm coming. Besides. I have a surprise for you for when you come to my place."

Mary smiled deeply as she shut the door behind him, wondering what the surprise could be. She was excited but much too exhausted to enjoy that feeling. She finished her sandwich and climbed into bed.

"Mommy's so tired and she hopes all this isn't hurting you baby…" She whispered, rubbing her side. "She's sorry she lets that horrible Monsignor treat us like that…your Daddy was the Monsignor did you know that?" She whispered impossibly quietly.

Mary found herself sniffling as she closed her eyes. She'd told herself she wasn't going to do this. Truthfully, Mary wished Timothy were there, not because of the baby but because this new Monsignor was the exact opposite of him. Timothy would never ever treat her this way: she knew it…Mary continued to cry into her pillow: thinking about it this way was painful too. She didn't think Timothy, who used to sweetly call her little sister, would ever hurt her…so how could he have raped her? Mary was hurt, and longed for better times when Jude would've been there to comfort her. She understood what had happened to her, but not what she'd done to everyone else and was desperately confused.

"It's okay baby." Mary sighed. "We may be alone, but we'll figure it all out together. You and Mommy."

"Ya know, once the baby comes we're not gonna have this kind of time to ourselves Timothy." Jude giggled.

She was enjoying their little candlelit dinner but couldn't foresee having one once the baby arrived, at least not for a while.

"Oh Jude I know, but it will be great, it'll just be a different kind of happy time together."

Jude smiled, cradling her stomach as she watched her husband eat his favorite thing. She liked to see him happy, but the coq au vin had been a little too acidic for her this time around and so she was eating very slowly.

"Ooh…" She whispered, jumping a little.

Jude was startled by these rhythmic little beats she started to feel across her stomach. They didn't hurt but they were foreign to her. They felt kind of like a kick or a heartbeat…or maybe even a muscle spasm, only they weren't any of those things.

"Jude what…what's happening…" He asked, startled by her sudden moment of pause.

"I-I don't know I…" Jude stopped for a moment her serious expression faded quickly and she began to giggle when she realized what was happening. "Timothy I think she has the hiccups."

"You're serious?" She nodded, smiling. "I didn't know they could…"

"You haven't been reading those baby books you keep bringing me very carefully, have you?" She teased, taking a sip of her water.

"Not that part, no." Timothy had been more focused on learning what to do once the baby actually came just so he knew what to expect. "Does she really…"

"Yap. She does." Jude giggled. "And that explains it."

"Explains what?"

"The coq au vin…it doesn't agree with her." Until now, Jude just thought she felt a little off but it was really the baby who didn't like the coq au vin and wasn't tolerating it well.

"Oh Jude I-I'm sorry."

"It's alright, it's a really rich, grown-up food and too much for tiny baby taste buds and underdeveloped tummies I think."

"Well, I suppose you were wrong Jude."

"About what?"

"We don't have to wait for the baby to arrive for things to really begin to change."

"No, no we don't." She admitted, relieved when he smiled. He got on his feet and walked over to her, reaching for her hand. "Would you care to dance my Jude?" He asked, the jazz still playing in the background. She looked up at him, smiling brightly as she accepted his hand.

"Oh Timothy I'd love to." Timothy pulled her into his arms and leaned his forehead head against hers as they began to dance across the kitchen floor.

….

"Should he be a Howard?" Mary asked Dr. Arden over dinner a few days later.

"Sister have you gone mad?" Arden raised an eyebrow.

Mary Eunice felt kind of shamed by the tone of his words and now wished she wouldn't even have asked. She watched as he cut his steak quickly and methodically, seeming to attack it without mercy. He'd made the steaks extremely rare, saying he liked it that way and apparently that it was good for the baby that way. His almost seemed to ooze with blood still as he poked and jabbed into it with his knife and fork. Mary took a breath and continued.

"It's just that that's the baby's name…it is a Howard. I don't know it…it was just something I was thinking about."

"Mary Eunice you can't name an illegitimate child after a Father who doesn't even know he exists." Arden reminded, making Mary feel even worse.

Her hands dropped to her stomach, cradling herself almost protectively. Mary could feel herself her soul or her essence or something, growing more introverted by the second now, as if she were trying to crawl back into some kind of shell or perhaps just shrink down to the size of nothing. She looked up when she heard Arthur sigh.

"You know he's not coming back, and he wouldn't care, right Mary?" Arthur asked. Mary nodded.

Mary thought about Timothy, only because she carried part of him inside of her. She knew that one day, maybe she'd have to think of Timothy and how he was to figure out something about this child. Arthur seemed to think that she wanted to find him; that she actually wanted something to work out between them and thought it could. She didn't, but his mockery of her in this hurt a lot.

"Anyway Sister." Arden continued. "If you re not hungry." She hadn't touched her dinner in a few minutes, mostly because of the discussion over the baby being a Howard. "Then go in the other room and take a look, I have a surprise for you."

Mary Eunice raised an eyebrow, putting down her napkin as she got up. She'd almost forgotten about the surprise Arthur had brought her here to see.

"Wow, you got me a crib!" She cried.

Mary didn't realize that Arthur played up Timothy's absence not to hurt her but to boost his own self-esteem. For the first time in his life, Arthur Arden actually did care…and he had no idea how to handle it.

….

A few weeks later, November 25, 1965: Thanksgiving Day

"Yar setting that up a little early, aren't ya?" Jude asked, leaning against the door as she dried her hands with a towel from the kitchen.

"No Jude…it's three from months today." He spoke of her due date. "We should be ready and not rushed when she comes."

Timothy hoped she wouldn't notice that he hadn't gotten very far with this crib-building thing and that he didn't really know what he was doing.

"What are ya gonna do if it's a boy?" She asked, looking around the nursery, admiring the baby pink walls he'd painted. Timothy paused.

"Apologize to my son and paint the walls blue or green or something….but the womb is pink…isn't it? That should make him feel at home when he's very tiny."

Jude giggled at this. She hadn't wanted pink even for a girl she'd wanted a very unconventional kind of light blue…not a stereotypical baby blue but a scenic, calming kind of ocean color, the kind of tone that by its very nature, would put them at ease as they were caring for the baby. But somehow or another, Timothy had won out on baby pink.

"Are ya hungry sweet baby?" Jude giggled, caressing her stomach softly as she went out into the other room. She smiled as she wandered back into the kitchen, feeling the baby kick happily beneath her touch. The baby never seemed to stop kicking and Jude found her child's company immensely soothing.

They were going to have a small but traditional Thanksgiving, and both were excited. They had a lot to be thankful for and it was going to be their first big holiday together. They'd done most of the cooking already but just had to finish the turkey. Timothy could smell it roasting in the oven and it made his stomach grumble.

"I'll be out to help you finish dinner in a minute!" Timothy called a few minutes later. "If I ever figure this out that is…" He whispered to himself as he overlooked two of the crib pieces in his hands.

"Timothy!" Jude shrilled suddenly.

Timothy threw down the crib pieces he'd been holding and rushed to the kitchen at the sound of her anguished cries. He could tell right away that something was very wrong, but it wasn't until he saw her that he truly began to panic. Timothy swallowed as he felt his heart begin to pick up pace, pounding audibly in his ears. He didn't notice all the details at first, initially only seeing that she was bent over a little, clutching her stomach and screaming in pain.

Timothy froze for a moment, not knowing even how to breathe. A million thoughts went through his mind in that moment about what was happening and all of them scared him to death.

"Timothy!" She cried, she was sobbing now. "I can't feel her Timothy!"

Timothy's heart dropped into his stomach when he looked closer and realized she was fully doubled over now, blood dripping down her legs.

"Jude! W-what is it?" He asked, hoping the panic in his face didn't show its self. "Did you…."

"I don't know, I don't know I just started…oh….!" She screamed. "Timothy, I think I'm loosing our baby…."

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Oh! Oh!" While Jude was being rushed to the hospital, Mary Eunice was having some pregnancy related discomfort of her own.

"Mary you're going to have to be a little quieter now. Or I'm going to have to put you under and take him out."

Dr. Arden had performed a lot of different procedures in his lab over the years: lobotomies, amputations, scores upon scores of experiments that he couldn't begin to explain to you…but he'd never before delivered a baby, and he was not terribly excited about doing so.

"No, no." Mary cried. "Is something wrong?" She asked breathlessly.

"No." He told her, laying a washcloth over her forehead. "It's just that you're in the middle of very hard labor. You're supposed to feel like this."

"Ahhhhhhh!" Mary reached out to try to cling to Arthur's hand but he didn't take it from her. "Please! Please!" She cried. "Please!" She yelled this time. Arthur was hesitant but then finally took Mary's hand just so she'd be quiet. "Ahhhhh!"

"Mary Eunice. I think it's best if I just give you something for the pain and…."

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! No, no please." Mary said, catching her breath. "Please I wanna have him the normal way; please."

She knew very well that Arthur just wanted to perform a c-section. She worried for her baby's safety that way. As much of a help as Arthur had become, something in her told her that if she had a c-section, he might see it as a way to snuff out her child's life just as it should be taking its first breath and then try to tell her there had been a complication. She felt bad for thinking this, but the baby's safety came first. Besides, she had no desire to recover from an operation, especially since she'd have to hide it from this entire Asylum.

"Alright, it's your risk Sister." He sighed.

"Uggggg!"

Mary collapsed in the pillows when the contraction ended.

"Mary Eunice this is only going to get harder." Dr. Arden warned, taking the cloth from her head and soaking it in cold water once again. "And remember no one can know what we're doing here, or about the baby…it would be easier to deliver via c-section, I could have you sewed back up and have the baby in your arms before you even have to start pushing."

"No, no, I'll be better, I promise. Just let me push him out. I can do it, please."

"Alright. But for the third time; be quieter Mary."

…..

Waiting had never been so hard on Timothy in his life. Hours passed and no one told him anything about Jude and her condition. Timothy sighed, placing his head in his hands. He was in a room full of other men, all expectant Fathers, who were waiting to hear about the birth of healthy babies…and he had no idea what to think, or what had happened….or even if Jude was alright; baby aside…but the thing was; he wasn't alright with baby aside. He adored his unborn child and couldn't wait to meet him…or her…only tonight wasn't supposed to be the night he sat in the Father's waiting room. And when he did, he was supposed to be excited, and on pins and needles, worrying a little about his wife, and mostly, anxious to hold that baby in his arms.

Timothy wiped a tear from his eye at the idea of his little daughter. He really, really wanted her and he just knew it was going to be a girl. He couldn't stand to think about that now, but it wouldn't leave his mind. He sat there praying for a miracle as he watched nurse after nurse return to this little room, arriving excitedly and announcing "You may see your wife now" in this jubilant tone that had been said so many times it met nothing to him now. It had been an hour since he'd given up the hope of being called next. One man had even come and gone since he'd arrived.

Timothy knew one thing for sure though. He wanted to be with his Jude. He felt like that was a huge part of his anguish; not knowing where she was or what she was going through. He knew he needed to be there to comfort her and it hurt him that he could not. Timothy promised himself that if there was ever a next time for this kind of thing he would refuse to leave his wife's side no matter what.

"Mr. Howard?" Timothy looked up when he heard a nurse call.

"Yes."

"You may see your wife now."

"I-I can?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Timothy didn't waste another moment and rushed down the hall behind the nurse. He knew he could've asked her what happened but he was too stuck in his thoughts, trying to prepare himself for the inevitable: that he'd get to Jude and she wouldn't be pregnant anymore; that the baby would be dead.

"Timothy." Jude cried holding out her arms for him as he rushed to hug her.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" He asked, cradling her face in his hands. She nodded. "The baby?"

"She's okay, the baby's okay!"

"Oh Jude!"

Jude smiled, seeing the pure joy in her husband's face. She leaned into him and kissed him, he replied kissing her lips gratefully.

"Oh Jude…I, I can't tell you how…how thankful…"

"I know sweetheart. Here." She said, taking his hand and placing it on her stomach.
He looked down, overjoyed that her big baby bump was still there. He hadn't noticed when he came in the room as he'd been so focused on the fact that she had been holding her arms out for him.

"Can ya feel her kick?" Jude laughed through her tears.

"Yes, yes I can." He smiled, a tear rolling down on his own cheek.

"Our baby's just fine Timothy." She smiled. "She's a strong one and a fighter."

"Just like Mommy." He said, resting his forehead against hers. "W-what happened?"

"She wanted ta be born early, that's all. Nothing's wrong with her, or with me." She said. "Which is why I have to stay in bed until she's born."

"Jude that's three months!"

"I know. But it's not total bed rest. I can shower, I can walk around, they said I could even do some light Christmas shopping…if I'm careful. " She said, brushing her hand across her stomach. "It's just more rest than not, more pressure off my feet than not, more bed than not and it's the only chance she's got. If I do that though; she'll be just fine when she's born."

"Really did they say…"

"I heard her heart beating Timothy." She smiled. "It was so strong for someone who's not ready to live out here on her own, it's because she doesn't have lungs that work yet. She's too little far that."

"Oh." He'd known that and the idea had terrified him the whole time he'd been waiting.

"In fact, that's the other thing."

"What?"

"They said she's measuring little far her age."

"She's little. D-did they say why?" He was alarmed.

"No, they don't know why, but they did say there's a lota room and time left far her to grow. We just have to work on making her bigger…she's strong though, healthy."

"Feeling her kick, alone makes me think that." He laughed.

"Well either way." Jude smiled, placing her hand over his as he cradled her stomach. "She's gonna be okay, we just have ta keep her inside Mommy." Timothy kissed Jude thankfully, leaning his head against hers as he did so.

"I'm not ready!" Mary cried, desperate to postpone what was about to happen. "Ahhhhh!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!' Mary exclaimed through her tears. She was sobbing now.

"Yes you are, or rather, the baby is. Push Mary, push down."

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Push! There we go Mary. There we go, baby's coming very fast."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Damn you Timothy!" She screamed.

Arden wanted to laugh at this but kept it inside for Mary's sake. Soon, the baby's tears overtook the room.

"Congratulations Mary Eunice, you have a son."

"Oh he's so tiny!" Mary cried, looking up at the baby almost in a panic.

She was overwhelmed, trying not only to recover physically from what had just happened, but seeing the baby was…well intimidating. In that moment it was all too real for her and she didn't know what she was going to do. Dr. Arden thought the baby almost seemed to scare her. He watched her face as she observed the crying infant and realized, without question that she was afraid, finally coming to her senses as he'd wanted her to for the past several months only now it was too late.

"Yes Mary, he's tiny." He laughed, deciding to try to be somewhat encouraging. "Would you like to hold him?"

Mary nodded and smiled kind of apprehensively, holding out her arms for her son as she started to cry again, her tears joining the baby's.

"What do I do with him?!" She asked, seeming at first to barely know how to hold him.

"It's alright Mary." He urged, watching her struggle to hold her son securely in her arms. "You'll find your way with him." He said once she seemed to have a better grip on the boy. Mary looked down, just staring for a moment, horrified at the screaming baby in her arms.

"H-hi." Mary began; reached out and placed her finger in his tiny scrunched up palm, almost jumping when he accepted it, squeezing it tightly. "Hi my little boy. My little Alexander Arthur McKee."

"Arthur? Are you sure?" Dr. Arden asked, she could tell that he was touched.

"I'm sure." She smiled up at him, her eyes turning back quickly to her baby. "He has my eyes." She giggled, growing more comfortable now.

She knew she was falling in love with her baby the more and more by the second and although she was scared there was no going back. Dr. Arden leaned over and looked into the tiny boy's now open eyes. Alex stared back up at them, a little bit of fear obvious in his own face.

"It could change." Arden advised. "He could end up with his Father's eyes."

This whole thing was upsetting to Dr. Arden. He was still mourning Mary's purity. After helping her have a baby, he didn't think he could ever see her as pure again and it hurt. On the other hand, there was the baby. Mary fell asleep not long after the birth and Arden remained, holding the newborn in his arms. Arthur, who did not believe in God or the Devil, but knew evil firsthand, was afraid that the infant would be filled with the evil that had previously overtaken his Mother.

He was relieved that, having spent the past few hours tending to the boy, he seemed to have been errant about this conjecture. Alex was just a sweet, normal, little baby and very much carried his Mother's nature with him. Arden searched the boy's face for any sign that the baby was the Monsignor's son. Mostly, so far, he seemed to take after his Mother, but now, it didn't really matter. He was just hours old and he would change as he grew. Detail would fill in overtime and so would his Father. Arthur was sure of that.

Nonetheless, Arthur was overjoyed that this baby had no part with Timothy Howard, beyond DNA that couldn't be helped. He would not ever know him or grow to be like him or carry his name. Mary's notion that his last name be Howard had been more than a ridiculous one. However, he liked the name Alexander. Mary had had no idea where she'd gotten the baby's name came from. It had been stuck in her head for quite a while and she really liked it.

"Shu. shu." Arden felt ridiculous talking to the infant, but he was. "You don't have anything to cry about Alex. You see over there, on the table? That's your Mother and she's sleeping. She may be young, in a difficult place, and all alone in the world except for you, but don't underestimate her, alright? The truth is, I don't think that you could've asked for a better Mother." Arden admitted quietly, thinking about how she'd refused to abort or otherwise get rid of the tiny boy he now cradled in his arms. "She refuses to give up on you, so that's your job: don't give up on her no matter what happens. I don't know how she'll do it but she'll get you through. I'm confident of that."

….

"I'm so glad they're allowing me to stay overnight." Timothy said, kissing Jude's head. "I couldn't imagine leaving you now."

They were still in the hospital and he was in bed with her, his arms wrapped around her. She held his arms lovingly and securely around her frame, sighing as she sunk further in his embrace. It had been many long hours since this ordeal began and now Jude finally thought she could relax.

"I'd hate it if you left me now." She said, turning her head and kissing him softly. "Ya'd be in a lota trouble."

"I'm sure I would. I'm so happy our baby's okay." He said, rubbing her stomach softly, finding a place on her side where he could feel the baby kicking calmly. Deep inside he sighed with relief and unbelievable gratitude.

"Ya don't know how relieved I was to hear that little heartbeat Timothy. And ta feel her start movin again, now here she is, kicking up a storm. Its delightful."

Timothy sighed, kissing his wife's neck from his place behind her. He held his hand tightly to her stomach, trying to feel their child's every move. He'd been so afraid it was over and now he loved both Jude and their baby even more than he already had…and he didn't think that was even possible.

"Feeling her was already special and after tonight it feels like even more of a miracle." He said.

"Are ya alright in there sweetheart. It's Mommy and Daddy." Jude asked gently.

"It's Mommy and Daddy and you gave us quite a scare." He admitted.

The baby kicked again, seeming to respond to her parent's words and touch. Jude smiled as she looked back at Timothy, feeling this just at the same time he did, and leaned into him for another kiss. Jude kissed her husband's lips joyfully. She'd been focused partially on this kiss for several hours while they tried to stop her labor, looking forward to it for after the ordeal was done. Jude was so overwhelmingly glad they could share a happy kiss instead of a sorrow filled one.

"We love you angel." Jude said to the baby.

"We love you more than you can imagine." Timothy added.

"And more than the whole wide world." Jude said as she began to cry.

"Oh sweetheart, don't cry, don't get upset." Timothy hugged her tightly as she shifted slightly and lye her head on his chest.

"I-I can't help it we almost lost our baby."

"Sweetheart I know but you feel her…or him." Timothy paused.

They referred to the baby as a girl, because they thought it was, but both of them tried to break themselves of the habit from time to time, realizing that they needed to keep in mind that it could still be a little boy. Part of Timothy thought he'd really like to have a son, but most of him wanted a girl.

"I want to meet her very much, but I'm so happy you're not having my baby tonight Jude. She's not ready and neither are we."

He laughed with relief. The day's emotion had been overwhelming for Timothy and he'd realized he wasn't ready to be a Father….not today, but he wasn't about to tell her that. Nonetheless, his lack of being ready didn't detract from his excitement: in Timothy's mind, February couldn't come soon enough.

"No. No she's not." She said, brushing her stomach with her hand. He leaned down and kissed it softly. "Happy Thanksgiving Timothy."

"Happy Thanksgiving my love."