Authors notes: It's been a while, and I'm back updating, this will be the last Basara Fairy Tale for a while. Obviously I'm still taking requests, themes pairings I'll do almost anything.
I hope you enjoy, and please review.
Pairing: None really.
Chapter 12 - Jack and the Beanstalk.
"We have no money you little brat, so take this cow to market and get a good price." Naohime hissed at Masamune.
"Ok, ok, I'll go, just point the gun somewhere else, please." He was too afraid of her castrating him to complain.
He left the shack and grabbed the cow before running down the road as fast as he could.
"Masamune-Sama!"
"Ah, Kojuurou, where are we?"
"Some story called Jack and the Beanstalk."
"I don't know it."
"It's all in here."
Masamune took the offered book and began to read.
"Uh-huh. . .I see. . . talking harp. . . chicken that lays golden eggs. . . money. . . kill giant. . . cut down giant plant thing. . . and I thought sleeping beauty was a lot of work."
"Sleeping beauty?"
"I was the prince."
"And the princess?"
"Yukimura, pffft, his face when he saw the outfit, it was great."
"Anyway, I don't have any beans, but I do have this." Kojuurou held up a blue and pink leek."
"That'll do, can you look after the cow for me."
"Of course Masamune-sama, wait are you going to do something reckless?"
"No, Naohime is playing the role of my mother, and she threatened to castrate me with her guns if I did not bring back lots of money, and since I'd probably have to pay someone to take that thing, I'm gonna go raid this giant's castle."
"Ah, I'll keep Naohime at bay then."
"Good, now how do I plant one of these?"
"Like this Masamune-sama."
-Five minutes later-
"No, you are not trying to grow one that big." Masamune looked at the giant leek which towered into the clouds.
"But it's so beautiful."
"NO! Where would we put it?"
Kojuurou sighed, knowing his master was right, but at least he would have the memories.
"Now, lets party!" Masamune started to climb, which was hard work and by the time he reached the top, he was exhausted.
-Meanwhile in the Giant's castle-
"OYAKATA-SAMA! SASUKE! ANYONE? SAVE MEEEEE!"
"Please I'm not going to cook you, and if you keep making a racket like that, Tenkai will wake up, and he gets cranky if his nap is interrupted."
"Then why are the rest of us in a giant cooking pot!?" Sasuke yelled from the otherside of the room."
"SASUKE! HEELP!"
"I'd love to danna, but I can't get out of this pot, none of us can, nice dress by the way."
"GYAAAA!" Yukimura continued to run in circles around Hideyaki, who seemed incapable of doing anything to stop him.
Sasuke sighed, and climbed off Tadakastu's shoulders. "Well, what now?" he looked at the group who were sitting around.
"How should I know, who has the bloody book?" Mitsunari hissed.
"I do, oh Kami, we're never going to be allowed to forget this." Shingen groaned.
"It can't be that bad." Ieyasu said.
"Three giants, Hideyaki, Tenkai, and Oda."
"And Jack?" Kanbe asked.
"Even worse, the Date brat."
Motonari shuddered, trying to sit as far away from Motochika and Tsuruhime as possible.
"What's up with him?" Shimazu asked.
"He nearly ended up being married to Tsuruhime." Kasuga answered.
"What's wrong with that, Tsuruhime is nice." Keiji said, still charred from the earlier rocket blast.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
"One second." Shingen climbed onto Tadakatsu's shoulders to get a better look outside.
"COME ON YUKIMURA! YOU CAN DO IT!"
"OYAKATA-SAMA!"
"YUKIMURA!"
"OYAKATA-SAMA!"
"GYAAA! SHUT UP!" Mitsunari howled.
There was a loud thudding noise, then,
"Ah Hideyaki, is the soup almost ready?"
"Almost Tenkai."
"But one of the ingredients is still running around."
"YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GOING TO COOK ME!" Yukimura yelled, increasing his pace.
There was an ominous rumbling, followed by a sqwaking sound.
"And stay dead this time!"
"And here comes the loud mouth." Yoshitsugo groaned.
"MASAMUNE-DONO!"
"Hey Yukimura, still in the dress I see, and you are?" he saw Tenkai for the first time.
"Tenkai, and now I'm afraid I'll have to put you in the soup as well." he motioned to the pot where the others were trapped.
"And what if I refuse?"
"Then I'll have to kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. . ."
"Wow, thin floors."
At some point in the conversation, Tenkai and Hideyaki had swapped, only Yukimura's running had eroded a large circular crack in the floor.
"Tenkai, wait for meeeeeeee!"
"So dizzy."
"Whoa, you don't want to follow them, ouch there goes the shack, bye Naohime."
"Hey boy, can you get us out of here, now!"
"Oh gods, he's here too, pfffft, what happened uncle, did you annoy Magoichi or something?"
"Redriding hood, he was the wolf, and Magoichi was Red." Keiji grinned.
"And you?"
"Collateral damage." Magoichi replied
"Magoichi, that was mean."
"Anyway, come on, before Oda decides to come back from the dead again."
"Ah, the spell is broken, freedom!" Kanbe cried out. "Ahhh, damnit." he grumbled as he started to pull his ball up the inside of the pot.
"This way, now quiet!"
-A while later-
"How did we manage not to wake him?" Sasuke asked Kasuga.
"The threat was that whoever did would have to invite Masamune's mother to tea."
"Ah, no wonder they shut up."
The group were at the giant leek now, but it would not take their weight."
"Hmm, who can fly?"
"Tadakatsu can." Ieyasu said.
"It's only designed to carry one person." Yoshitsugo said.
"I've got a glider." Sasuke added.
"This is gonna take a while." Shingen sighed.
Rumble Rumble Rumble
"Ah, he's awake, run!" Masamune yelled, jumping onto the leek.
Kojuurou watched as the leek began to sway in the breeze, and wondered what the multitude of little ants were doing.
"Wait, that's not an ant, Masamune-Sama, please stop being so reckless!"
"WHO DARES WAKE ME?" MITSUHIDE! WHERE ARE YOU?"
THUD THUD THUD
"Faster, before he finds this thing!" Keiji cried out.
"Oh just jump!" Masamune shouted, leaping to the ground.
"Here I go!" Yukimura yelled, jumping off the leek, his skirt flapping up to reveal matching underwear. "AIEEE, who put me in this shameful outfit?" he sobbed, trying to cover himself up.
"Danna calm down!"
Kojuurour grimmaced as various people hit the ground hard.
"Who's idea was it to jump?" Mitsunari asked.
"It worked didn't it," Masamune groaned. "Now does anyone have an axe?"
"No, but Muneshige has the Lightning Edge." Shimazu said.
"Right, leave it to me."
BUZZZZZZZ
CRACK
RUMBLE
"MUNESHIGE YOU IDIOT, I'M STILL CLIMBING DOWN!"
"LORD SORIN!? I-I. . ."
"Relax," Masamune said, "Keep it cool, he'll be fine, unfortunately."#
"Anyway, how do we get back home?" Toshiie asked, "I'm hungry."
