I don't own anything.
Competition Can Be Murder
-Chapter Twelve: Side Tracked
'Bad things. Bad things. Bad things. Bad-fucking-things!' Shinji shoved a few more magazines into the pouches on his belt and snatched up his SCS-50. "Are you sure you want to go alone?" Mana asked.
"Yep," Shinji answered. "If this NORDIC thing really is that Sega chip then its best if I go alone."
"Why?" Mana asked.
"Crazy people are calmer around other crazy people," Ritsuko commented.
"Exactly!" Shinji replied.
"Or they just make each other more violent," Misato added. Shinji paused and then loaded his pistol.
"Its going to be dangerous," Mana commented. "Aren't you worried?"
"I'm on Zoloft," Shinji replied happily. "I'm not worried about anything." He picked up his SCS-458 and tried to think of a place to put it. Finally he just shoved it in his waistband. "Would NERV be sending anyone after you three?"
"Ayanami," Ritsuko answered. "She's kind of like our version of you three."
"Don't you include me in the same group at them," Asuka growled. "Sega people are normal." Shinji snorted and then whimpered as Asuka's stiletto met his big toe. "We're normal," she hissed through clenched teeth. "Got it?"
"Yes ma'am," Shinji squeaked. Asuka removed her heel.
"You're really going to try to reason with it?" she asked.
"Reason with it?" Shinji asked.
"You know, talk it down?" Asuka continued.
"Why would I do that?" Shinji asked.
"So it doesn't destroy the city!" Asuka shrieked.
"That's fine," Shinji answered. "It's the whole turning the world into a B-movie zombie apocalypse that's got me tweaking."
"I thought that was a mix of Zoloft, alcohol, weed, and Viagra," Mana commented.
"Hey!" Shinji snapped. "I do not now, nor have I ever taken, Viagra!"
"Bullshit," Misato cut in. "Nobody gets it up that many times Shinji."
"I do."
"Yeah right."
(:ii:)
Misato watched as the door shut. "You know," she began. "I am actually kind of worried. He'll be in some real danger."
"The boy's walked away from a two kiloton nuclear blast," Mana stated. "He'll be fine."
"That's not possible," Ritsuko commented.
"That's what I thought," Mana stated. "Plus he's faced this system before, the only one to survive it I might add."
"What did he mean by Zombie Apocalypse?" Maya asked.
"It'll turn everyone into zombies," Asuka explained. All eyes turned on her. "Don't look at me. We fired the nut who created it."
"If you're so worried, why don't we just monitor him?" Mana suggested.
"How?" Ritsuko asked.
"I hacked into his wet ware," Mana stated proudly. She pulled out her PDA. "We can see whatever he sees!"
"I repeat, how?" Ritsuko asked.
"I planted a transciever on him," Mana stated.
"Where?" Ritsuko asked. Mana just grinned. "Oh. So that's why he shoved his finger up your ass in my office."
"He's big on revenge," Mana stated sourly. She brightened slightly. "If all revenge plans went that well I'd complain a lot less."
"You did miss out on his little rampage through NERV though," Ritsuko commented.
"Sexual satisfaction or violence satisfaction, I can get by on either," Mana stated. "Preferably on both though."
"You pervert!" All eyes turned to Asuka. She was as red as her hair.
"You need to get laid," Maya commented. "Where's the booze around this dump?"
(:ii:)
"Hey man! You, like totally, broke my gate!" Shinji sighed and watched as the NERV security guard examined his shattered gate. "Prepare to feel my righteous fury."
"Catch." The guard stared down at the small metal ball Shinji had thrown at him.
"That's totally not cool dude." The grenade's timer finished and the guard turned into a pink mist.
"Idiot." Shinji glanced around the parking garage.
"Ikari." Shinji frowned and looked around more.
"Hello?"
"It's George."
"Hey boss!" Shinji replied cheerfully. He hadn't heard from the old man in a while. "How's it hanging?"
"A little to the right," George replied. "I had some interesting information passed on to me by the top kick over at Microsoft," George stated.
"What'd he want?" Shinji asked.
"NERV put the Sega defense chip in their console," George commented. "Don't you think you should have told me that?"
"Little busy," Shinji stated as he walked over to the elevator and pushed the call button. The doors opened and he stepped inside.
"Busy with what?"
"Blowing up the NERV console," Shinji replied.
"Oh. Good luck with that."
"Thanks boss," Shinji replied.
"Try not to end up like last time," George added. "Remember what happened when Nintendo tried that chip," George added.
"The legions of undead ninjas?" Shinji asked. He had a bad feeling about where this was going. Actually. He was kind of looking forward to the zombie thing, he just thought he wouldn't like what George was about to say.
"Right. The chip animates dead bodies," George stated. "Don't kill anyone."
"I'll take my chances," Shinji replied. He reached under his coat and pulled his SCS-458 out. He snapped the folding stock onto it and pushed an extended twenty-round magazine into its receiver. "Besides, the chip can't animate a puddle of gore."
"True." The elevator doors binged and Shinji raised his weapon. He stared at the woman with the sword pointed at his throat.
"Rei?"
"Shinji?" the blue haired woman asked. Shinji quickly shoved his weapon behind his back while Rei mirrored him, leaving the last foot or so of her pig sticker sticking up behind her head.
"You look good," Shinji began awkwardly.
"So do you," Rei replied. "It has been a long time."
"Years," Shinji commented. "Uh, you want to go get lunch?" Rei smiled slightly.
"I would like that very much Shinji."
(:ii:)
Asuka jerked up and looked around. "What's wrong?" Mana asked.
"I sense a disturbance in the force," Asuka stated. A door opened somewhere and Ritsuko walked out.
"Did anybody feel that?" she demanded.
"Like the sound of a thousand voices crying out in agony?" Asuka asked. Ritsuko nodded. "What does it mean?"
"Something, somewhere is very wrong," Ritsuko answered. The room was ominously silent for about ten seconds.
"Wrong can be fun," Mana commented brightly. One of Ritsuko's eyebrows cocked as she considered this.
"True. I'm going back to bed." Mana turned back to her PDA and stared at the close up view of between an albino's legs.
"God damn. He just keeps going and going and going."
"He's like the energizer bunny of nymphomaniacs," Maya commented as she stared intently at the screen. "Too bad she shaves. I was wondering if the carpet matched the drapes."
"This is wrong and perverted," Misato stated, trying to look like she wasn't staring at the screen.
"Don't be such a prude."
(:ii:)
Shinji leaned back against the wall and happily puffed his cigarette. "You awake Rei?" The woman leaning against his chest snorted cutely in her sleep. Shinji scratched his head. Wasn't there something he was supposed to be doing?
He was fairly sure that he had come to NERV for something important. Rei nuzzled closer to his chest. 'Mission accomplished!' Shinji decided proudly. Why couldn't all his missions go this well?
-End
(:ii:)
-Author's notes. Unbearably short. These chapters usually end when they end. Most of the time that takes a while, but not always. On a different note, I finally got the review I wanted for this story. It went something life, "Now what the hell is going to happen now?" That's exactly what I was shooting for twith this story.
