Lillian and Arthur were both sitting by the fire in his chamber still. They had barely spoken for almost an hour.
"I don't want to leave Camelot." Lillian whispered after some more time had elapsed.
Arthur looked up at her and frowned. "You don't want to leave Camelot?" She shook her head at him. She had been thinking it over ever since he had picked up the gauntlet, and she was pretty sure she had made up her mind now. "So, you're not going to leave with your brother when he returns to Rolana?"
"No. I think… I think I'm going to stay here." She told him quietly. Deep down, she had always known that she wouldn't leave for Rolana. And even if she did, she probably wouldn't have made it far before turning back for Camelot.
"Is that what you really want to do?" Arthur asked her, crouching down in front of her. He had been praying that she would stay, and maybe his prayers had just been answered.
"Yes. I want to stay here, if you want me to. I mean, I don't want to be a burden or get in the way or anything. If you think me staying in Camelot isn't a good idea then that's fine. I understand. And obviously, I will need to seek permission from your father and…" Arthur put a finger to her lips to get her to stop talking.
"Lillian, I want nothing more than for you to stay in Camelot. My father will not object. I know he thinks highly of you." Arthur told her, slowly moving his hand away from her face.
"You really want me to stay?" She asked, in a slight state of shock. Arthur just nodded at her. "Then once you have defeated that knight, I will speak with my brother and your father." That just made him smile at her some more.
He was about to speak when there was a knocking at the door. "I've brought you something that might help you to sleep." Gaius said as he entered the chamber.
"I'm fine. I don't need it." Arthur told him, getting up from in front of Lillian. "I have Lillian here, I don't need anything else.
"Arthur, you should probably listen to Gaius. You still need to rest for tomorrow." She told him, watching him pace the room slightly.
"Here." Gaius said, handing the vial to the prince. "It'll relax you, take the edge off your nerves."
Hesitantly, Arthur took the vial and downed the contents. "I wouldn't drink it for pleasure." He commented, pulling a slightly disgusted face from the taste of it.
"Why don't you sit down for a moment?" Gaius suggested. That was when Lillian got to her feet and helped Gaius to get him to the bed. She had already worked out that he had given Arthur a sleeping draught to help him to rest.
"Mind you, if you… forget about the taste, the, er, after-effect is quite pleasurable." Arthur said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Why don't you lay back, Arthur?" Lillian told him softly. A moment later he was on his back completely passed out.
"You should probably head to your chamber now, My Lady." Gaius said to her.
"No, I promised him I wouldn't leave him tonight. He needs someone to be there for him, Gaius. And I made a promise." She said, looking down at the prince.
"Is that wise? People will begin to talk." Gaius told her.
Lillian let out a sigh. "People will always talk. Whether there is something to talk about or not. I am staying here to keep my best friend company. Tomorrow he fights the wraith, he needs me, Gaius."
For some reason, the old man started to act a little panicked. "Well, then, My Lady, I shall bid you goodnight." He said, making a hasty exit. For an old man, he sure could move fast when he wanted to.
Lillian sat on the edge of the bed and brushed some of the blonde hair away from Arthur's face. "One day, Arthur, you will be the greatest King this world has ever seen. And I have faith in you, I always have. To me, you are more than just a prince, and my best friend. There is a lot about me that you do not know, Arthur. If you did, then we wouldn't be friends. You would hunt me down and have me killed."
She had to hold back the tears as she spoke to the sleeping prince. There was so much that she wanted to tell him, and while he was in this state, she felt it a little safer to do it. "I have so many reasons to be scared of Camelot, of you and your father. But I'd risk my life just to see you. I hate keeping secrets from you, I really do. I want to be able to tell you everything, but I know I can't. Maybe, somewhere in the future, things will be different and I can tell you everything. But now is not that time. And I have to keep living in fear."
"Lillian? Is everything okay?" Merlin called to her.
"Yes. No. I don't know. Arthur is sleeping, Gaius gave him a sleeping draught. I told Arthur that I want to stay, that I didn't want to go back to Rolana with Irwin."
"But, that's a good thing isn't it?" Merlin was confused. He could sense she was worried and scared about something, the feelings was so strong that it was making him worry about her.
"I don't know. Merlin, if he ever finds out about me…"
"Lillian, he won't. And even if he did, there is no way he would do anything to you. He cares about you too much, he would never let anything bad happen to you." He tried to assure her.
Lillian let out a sigh. "We don't know that, Merlin. He has only ever seen magic as an evil and nothing else. Anyone who would use their magic for good is too scared of being caught." And that was the truth. Lillian knew why Uther hated magic so much, she could understand his fury. That wasn't to say that she approved of it, of course she didn't, she just understood.
"Arthur would do anything for you, he loves you." Merlin said, before he could stop himself.
"Merlin, he does not love me. We are best friends, he may love me like a sister, yet I am not blood."
"You can't think that. Everyone who has seen the pair of you together can see it, you're meant for each other." He told her, trying to make her see what the rest of Camelot saw.
"I'm not going into this, Merlin. Arthur and I are friends, nothing more. Is that understood?" She made it clear that she didn't want to hear any more on the topic, not now and not ever.
"Sorry for bothering you. I'll let you rest now. See you in the morning." He said, before leaving Lillian alone with her thoughts again.
She looked down at Arthur, sleeping so peacefully. Lillian had always told herself that her feelings for the prince were nothing but the feelings of a friend. She had been telling herself that for years, trying to convince herself that she didn't love the man before her. But she did love him, and she would never tell him.
The fear of rejection itself was high, but she didn't want to make a fool of herself. If he laughed in her face, she would never be able to face him ever again. And then if he ever found out what she really was, it would destroy everything.
But she couldn't help how she felt. No matter how hard she tried to stop the feelings, convince herself they weren't real, she knew the truth behind it all.
She kicked off her shoes and sat herself on the bed next to Arthur, her eyes never leaving his face. She took in every detail of his face as he slept. If he was to wake up, he would no doubt be curious as to why she was looking at him like that. But she was looking at the man she knew she could never have.
Lillian laid herself down next to him, shifting close to him and resting on her side. "I have something to tell you, Arthur." She whispered, placing a hand on his chest and leaning closer to him. "I love you, more than just a friend." She put her head down on the pillow and closed her eyes tightly, a few tears escaping as she did.
Slowly she drifted off to sleep, her cheeks slightly damp. She woke up again a few hours later to find herself wrapped up in Arthur's arms. She couldn't help but smile at that. Lillian wasn't sure if he had woken up and realised she was there, or if he just accidently rolled over and his arms just ended up that way. Either way, she didn't care, he was there and so was she.
Lillian moved closer towards him, feeling his body warmth through both of their clothes. Most of the time it would be Arthur awake and her asleep, but not this time. She felt completely safe, and happy. It didn't take her long to fall back to sleep in the prince's arms.
The next time she woke up, she realised it was light outside, and Arthur was still asleep. She sat up in the bed and frowned. Merlin hadn't brought breakfast in yet, so it was either early, or something had happened.
"Merlin? Where are you?" She asked him sleepily.
"Lillian, you're awake?" He seemed a little surprised and worried.
"Of course I am. Merlin, what's going on? You're worried? Why are you worried?" She tried to poke around in his mind but found he was stopping her. "Merlin, what the hell is going on?" She almost shouted at him.
"It's nothing, Lillian, I promise. Just go back to sleep."
"Do not even try to lie to me. What is going on?" She demanded, getting angrier.
"Uther is fighting the wraith." He told her, panic in his voice. "And he has the sword forged for Arthur."
Lillian's eyes widened, Kilgharrah was not going to be happy when he heard about that. "Merlin, what the hell were you thinking! Never mind, you probably weren't thinking." She bellowed at him.
"Lillian, go back to sleep." He said to her, before using their bond to cast a spell on her that instantly made her fall back to sleep. He wasn't proud of what he had just done, but he didn't want to face her wrath at that time.
It wasn't long later that Arthur began to stir. A smile formed on his face the moment he saw the woman lying next to him on his bed. He knew she had stayed with him all night, just like she promised, as she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before.
He gently pushed a lock of her hair that had fallen over her face to one side and kissed the top of her head. "Good morning, Lillian." He whispered to her, paying close attention to her as she continued to sleep.
But his smile quickly turned into a frown when he heard the clashing of metal coming from outside his window. He pulled himself away from Lillian and over to the window. He saw someone else fighting the knight in his place.
He rushed over to the doors and tugged at them, but they would not open, no matter how hard he tried. Arthur looked back over at Lillian, and wondered if she had anything to do with why his doors were locked.
"Lillian? Lillian wake up." He growled at her.
She groaned as she rolled over and rubbed her eyes. "Arthur? What's wrong? What's happened?" She asked him, wondering why her head felt slightly strange.
"Where's the key?" He demanded.
"What key?" She asked, looking at him in utter confusion.
"The key for the door. Where is it?" His voice was still rising as he spoke to her.
"I don't know. It's your door. Why would I have the key? Arthur, please tell me what is going on." She begged, starting to feel a little more awake then she had been when he woke her.
"We're locked in, and someone is out there fighting in my place." That caused Lillian to jump off the bed and over to the window. Sure enough she saw someone else fighting the wraith, with the sword that was meant for Arthur.
"Merlin!" Lillian growled to him. "Never, ever do anything like that to me ever again. Do you understand me?" She knew that she had made him flinch.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. Uther insisted on fighting, and using that sword. I couldn't stop him, I tried, I promised."
"Well, you can be the one to explain that to Kilgharrah. You were the one entrusted with the sword, you are the one who had to make the promise." She spat at him. She was far from in a good mood with him now, and he knew that.
She heard Arthur growl in frustration as he failed to get the doors to open for him. She walked over to him and took hold of one of his hands. "Hey, come on. You need to calm down. Have you seen who it is who is fighting in your place?" She asked, dragging him over to the window. "Look familiar to you?"
The look on his face answered her question. He now knew exactly who was down their fighting. "Lillian, I'm sorry for shouting at you."
She smiled at him. "It's okay. I understand why you might have thought I had something to do with it. But I promise you, I really didn't. Strangely enough, being locked in your chamber with you is not high on my list of things to do."
He couldn't help but smile at her. "Last night, you were talking to me, weren't you?" Her face fell in an instant.
"I might have told you what an arrogant prat you were." She said nervously. The last thing she needed was for him to remember exactly what she had said to him.
"No, I'm sure I heard you saying something about me being the greatest king the world has ever seen." He said, a grin forming on his face.
"Arthur, I think you may have dreamed that." She told him seriously. "Yes, I was talking while you slept. Mainly about how you are vain, pig-headed, stubborn, arrogant…" She saw the dejected look on the prince's face. "And my best friend."
He smiled at her. "Lillian, you are my best friend as well. And there is something I want to tell you…" He didn't get to finish what he was saying as their attention was drawn back to the fight when they heard a clash and the crowd gasping.
The knight had his sword embedded in the king's shield, and the sword the king was using had been knocked from his hand. Without even thinking about it, they grasped each others hand, holding on tightly as they watched Uther reach for his sword while the knight was trying to free his own from the shield.
That was when Uther took his chance and thrust his sword into the wraith. Everyone looked on as it burned slowly before exploding, leaving behind nothing but shreds of black cloth. The crowd started cheering as Arthur and Lillian both let out a long breath.
"Well, I think it is safe to say that the knight is no more." Lillian said, walking away from the window and plonking herself down on Arthur's bed. "Sorry, you said you wanted to tell me something?"
Arthur avoided her gaze and let his eyes drift back out of the window. "It doesn't matter. It was nothing important." He told her, kicking himself on the inside for being such a coward.
"Oh, okay then." There was a little bit of confusion and sadness in her voice.
"I can't believe my father had me locked in my chamber so that I wouldn't fight." Arthur said, coming and sitting next to her.
"You understand why he had to do it though, don't you?" She asked him. He just shrugged his shoulders at her. "Don't be too hard on him, he was doing it to protect you."
"Why did he lock you in here as well?" Arthur asked, thinking out loud.
"Gaius tried to get me to leave, but I refused. And anyway, I would have found a way to break the door down and get to you as soon as I knew what was happening. I have a feeling your father knew that as well."
"And how would you have broken the door down?" He asked her sceptically.
"I'm stronger than I look, my dear Arthur. I would have found a way." Lillian told him, patting his knee. "Merlin! How long does it take to get the key from Gaius and let us out of here?" She called to him.
"Oh, sorry. I… er… I forgot." He replied sheepishly.
"You forgot?" She screamed at him. "How can you forget?"
"Sorry. I'll be there soon. I promise." He assured her.
"So, are we going to tell my father that you are staying when we are finally let out of here?" Arthur asked her, pulling her from her angry thoughts about Merlin.
"Do you still want me to stay?" She questioned nervously.
"Of course I do, Lily. I want nothing more than for you to stay in Camelot, you should know that by now." He said, taking hold of both her hands and smiling at her. "This is where you belong."
She let a smile creep onto her face. "Well then, we need to seek permission from your father, and inform my brother." Lillian had an idea. She didn't know when she was likely to see her brother around the castle, so she decided to tell him another way. "Irwin, I've decided to stay in Camelot." She called to his mind.
Lucky for her, she knew he wouldn't be able to answer her. Instead he would come looking for her the moment he had the chance.
"I'm sure that won't be a problem. As I said, my father adores you, and you seem to get along with Morgana rather well."
"Well, Morgana and I have much in common. And we both know how to tease you, sometimes it's just too easy." Lillian told him, a grin on her face.
There was some rattling at the door and eventually the dark haired warlock that Lillian was ready to kill opened it.
"Finally." Arthur cried, grabbing Lillian by the hand and dragging her out of the room with him.
"Arthur, do you have to drag me through the castle? I know you're angry, but that is not a good enough reason to tear my arm off." She reasoned as they headed towards the council chambers, where he assumed his father would be.
"Sorry." He mumbled, slowing down his pace a little so that she wasn't being dragged behind him.
"Kindly explain to me why I am with you in the first place?" She asked, knowing that she was going to have to witness an argument with his father.
He stopped walking and she nearly walked straight into him as he turned around. "You were locked up as well. And we need to tell him you're staying in Camelot, permanently." There was a hint of a smile as he spoke about her staying.
His face changed as we stood outside the council chamber. "You know, maybe you should speak with him on your own, Arthur." Lillian told him, but before she could say anything else. He had pushed the large wooden doors open and was walking inside with her.
"Well, that should heal pretty quickly. I'll re-dress it tomorrow." Gaius said, as he packed up his things to leave.
"Thank you, Gaius. Thank you for everything." The old man just nodded at the king before leaving the room.
"You had Gaius drug me." Arthur half bellowed at his father, walking over to him and slamming his fist on the table. "I was meant to fight him." His anger was starting to come out now. While he had been locked in his room with Lillian, he had controlled his temper, for her.
"No, you weren't." Uther told him calmly.
"But the knight's code…"
"Be damned." The king said. "I believed you would die. And that was a risk I cold not take. You are too precious to me. You mean more to me than anything I know, more than this entire kingdom, and certainly more than my own life." Lillian was feeling more than just a little uncomfortable now.
"I… always thought that…" Arthur started, thinking back on Lillian's words earlier. She had told him there was a reason his father had fought in his place, be he didn't believe it.
"What?"
Arthur looked at him. "That… I was a big disappointment to you." He answered sadly.
"Well, that is my fault, and not yours. You are my only son. And I wouldn't wish for another." His father told him sincerely.
After a moment, both men seemed to come back to their senses, their father and son moment over. "I heard you fought pretty well." Arthur said, leaning against one of the tables. Lillian had done well to keep herself out of the way, she wasn't even sure the king knew she was there.
"Thanks."
"You should join us for training. Sort out your footwork." Arthur teased him.
"I'll show you footwork." Uther said to his son, before swiftly sending Arthur a playful kick.
Arthur ran around the table and stopped when he spotted Lillian standing there, more than a little uncomfortable. He took told of her hand and pulled her out of the shadows so that his father could see her. "Father, there is something Lillian and I wish to speak with you about."
She could have hit him for making it all sound so formal, but decided to let it pass, for now. "Oh, and what might that be?" Uther asked with a raised eyebrow.
"She would like to stay in Camelot on a more permanent basis." He told him, letting a full grin spread across his face as he held onto Lillian's hand.
Uther just smiled fondly at her. "Irwin and I were hoping that would be your decision. You are more than welcome to make Camelot your home. I am sure Morgana will be pleased with your decision as well. Sometimes I worry for her."
Lillian could see the man drifting off into his own little world. "Thank you, sire." She said, curtseying a little to him.
"Now, what have I told you, Lillian? Call me Uther." He said, smiling at her again. Lillian smiled back and nodded before Arthur led her out of the room.
"That went well." He said, still holding her hand as they walked back towards his chamber.
"My brother has been plotting something." Lillian said before she could stop herself.
"What do you mean?"
"What your father said, he and Irwin had been hoping my decision was going to be to stay in Camelot. So they must have talked about it, there must be some benefit to each of them somewhere."
Arthur let out a sigh. "Lily, you worry too much."
"No, I worry the perfect amount, thank you." She replied, pouting at him a little.
"Now, we should go and find your brother, and tell him the good news." Arthur said as they turned the corner and into the corridor that held both their chambers.
"I think he has already found us." Lillian mumbled, spotting her brother standing outside her chamber watching her with a grin on his face. "Irwin, what can I do for you?" She asked, making sure to act like she knew nothing.
"I heard that you had been locked in the Prince's chamber all night." There was a little hint of disapproval in his tone.
"My Lord, I can assure you, I done nothing that would dishonour Lady Lillian nor you." Arthur said very formally.
The frown on Lillian's brother's face soon cracked into a smile. "I know that, Arthur. I was only teasing." He said, clapping him on the shoulder.
"We have something we wish to discuss with you, sire." Lillian couldn't stand the way Arthur was being so formal at the moment. Or why he kept saying 'we', it was her that wanted to stay. "Maybe we should discuss this in my chamber." Arthur continued, opening the door and letting Lillian step through first.
The three of them sat around the table, none of them speaking. Arthur then cleared his throat and began to talk. "Lillian would like to stay in Camelot, my father has given permission for her to stay as long as she wants."
Irwin looked over at his little sister. "Is this true, Lillian?" He asked her, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes. I have friends here, where back in Rolana I only have you. I am not saying that I do not want to be with you, you're my brother. All I am saying is that I want to spend more time here in Camelot, with my friends. I've started to build a life here, I don't want to leave it." She told him nervously.
"Well, that is good news. I admit, Uther and I had discussed the possibility of you staying here. And, since you have made the decision to stay, I would like you to stay here in the role of ambassador for Rolana." He announced.
Lillian looked up at him in shock. "But, I've never done any royal duties before. That was all given to you. I have no idea what I am meant to do." She said in a panic.
Irwin frowned at her. "Lillian, you're best friend is the Prince of Camelot, I am sure he will help you."
"Of course. I will help you as much as I can, Lillian." Arthur told her.
"Well then, that's settled." Lillian's brother said, clapping his hands together and letting a huge grin spread across his face. "I presume you will both be dining with Uther and I tonight?" He asked, before getting up from his chair.
"Yes, of course." Lillian replied quietly. She was still in shock over what had just happened. She had never expected to be giving such a role. All she had thought was that the pair of kings would be building their treaty, and planning to marry her off to Arthur.
"I shall see you both then." Irwin said, before leaving the room.
Lillian just stared at the table until she felt someone take hold of her hand. She looked up and saw Arthur crouching beside her. "Lily, is everything okay?" He asked her softly.
She nodded at him. "Everything's fine. I just… I didn't expect him to take it so well."
Arthur just smiled at her. His best friend was going to say with him in Camelot, and not return to her own kingdom. He didn't care if it was selfish of him to be so happy, he had missed her so much, and now he was going to make up for all that lost time.
A/N: Another episode finished, one step closer to Le Morte d'Arthur, where everything changes. Possibly.
Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I'm glad so many people are enjoying this story. And a thank you to all those who have favourites/followed as well. Those emails always bring a smile to my face (especially when I'm at uni and read them during lectures).
I've had a few people ask me about my other Merlin fic which I haven't started posting yet. I'm still debating uploading it, a girl from the 21st century ends up in Camelot. I haven't written that many chapters for it yet (around 10) but if people want me to start posting what I have, I will. So it's up to you guys.
Pippa.
