On a roll: Hello dearest readers. Yes, I'm back after disappearing for another month. Life, as you know, is busy, busy, busy! But I am (very thankfully) on spring break starting tomorrow and I plan on finishing this story. And since the midterm I have tonight is super easy, I thought I'd spend my morning writing a new chapter to get me started for the upcoming week and two days off. :) I'm much more satisfied with this chapter than the previous two, so I think you guys will enjoy it. I finally got my footing back on what I wanted to do. I don't think there will be many more chapters after this, but what remains is going to be good…I hope.

Don't forget to review! Thankies!!


Chapter 12: To Tell or Not to Tell?

Kei had eventually gone into the kitchen to make himself something to eat and get that drink he had wanted earlier. I remained in the living room, trying to make sense of everything in my life. I asked myself over and over where I had gone wrong; why I felt the need to let my thoughts linger on Cell. Why couldn't I just stay happy with Kei and forget Cell ever existed? Why did Cell have to be created in the first place?

I wanted to tell Kei more than anything that yes I had had an affair with Cell. And it wasn't the first time either. In ways I wish he had looked in the back of our closet for my hidden journal, but he figured he found the only thing he would under the bookcase. It might've been easier for him to have read my own story. It might not have. He didn't realize the man here when he came home was Cell. Well why should he? Anyone with an education in local history knew about the infamous Cell Games. They knew what Cell had looked like. Minus his stunning eyes, Cell now had no noticeable features from his previous form.

So now that left me to what I had to do now. Should I tell him? Should I hope Cell doesn't return and I can just continue my life and pretend that it was all just a bad dream? Or maybe I should go out and look for Cell…

The last thought was what I decided upon almost immediately. I knew I couldn't live comfortably until I knew where he went. I would spend the rest of the day, week, whatever wondering if I'd see him standing there when I looked out the window.

Kei looked up from the table when he saw me enter the kitchen and slip my shoes on. "Where are you going?"

I shrugged and said, "I'm going to go for a walk. I just want to think and get some fresh air."

"I'll go with you—"

"No!" I said quickly. "You just got back and I know how tired those trips make you. I won't be gone long."

Kei looked at me with an unsure expression, but he said nothing further. He merely nodded and I took that as my escape gesture. I went outside and took a deep breath while I thought of which direction I should head in. I figured the woods to the east was probably the best bet since Cell wasn't one to walk out in the open to get somewhere—and the rest of the property was empty of anything to hide behind.

It took me about ten minutes to get to the woods since I was taking my dear sweet time. When I reached the trees I stood still and looked around to see if Cell had seen me coming and appeared out of nowhere. I tried to look through the first few rows of brush and trunks, but I saw nothing out of the ordinary. It shouldn't be too hard to spot him since he had on that bright yellow shirt; unless he took it off.

"Cell?" I called out. There was no answer. I was convinced though that he was around here. Something inside of me kept telling me he was there, but just didn't want to answer. "Cell, please come out. I really need to talk to you. I'm sorry for what happened before—I just want to see you once more before this is over for good."

Still there was nothing except the occasional bird chirp or rustle of leaves from the breeze above. Every moment I stood there and waited I thought was one second closer to him appearing. When it finally sunk into my head that he either wasn't here or was ignoring me I started to walk a little further. I continued to call out his name, but again and again I was given no results. When I turned around towards the path I came from I saw that I had actually ventured quite a ways from the house.

"Damn you, you stupid android," I cursed as I kicked a stick lying by my feet.

I stood there for a while, wondering if I should continue further along the edge of the trees or not. Then I had images of Cell sitting somewhere in the midst of them, watching and laughing at me for my pathetic efforts.

"Sasara!"

I turned to the familiar sound of my name being said to find Kei jogging up to me. At that moment I felt the adoration for him pounding in my chest and I knew right then and there that Cell had to get out of my life so I can spend it with Kei.

"Why did you come all the way out here?" He asked once he reached me.

It was then I decided he needed to know the truth. If I lost him because of it then it was my own fault and I deserved it completely. If I didn't, then I knew that he was the best thing in the world and I'd be stupid not to hold onto him tight.

"Kei, I need to tell you something that you deserve to know," I said. "I told you about what happened with my mother disappearing and how I had been confronted by Cell."

"Right," he said with a nod, but he didn't sound afraid of what I was going to say. He sounded and looked very sure of himself and me.

"I did do stuff with Cell," I stated bluntly. When I was stuck with him that day I kinda fell for him. I kissed him. I mean, back then it wasn't cheating because I didn't know you. And it was just a one-time deal."

"I figured that already," he said. "The way your mom described him it told me that he had a way about him that drew those who weren't afraid to him. It doesn't surprise me and I'm not mad at you for that."

"But you will be when I tell you the rest," I said.

Kei chuckled and grinned. "Sasara, unless you tell me you had his kid and you're hiding that, I can't be mad at you for anything."

I didn't acknowledge his statement. I had to continue while my mind was determined to get this out. "I had gone out looking for Cell after I saw my mother and she told me what happened. I found him near the crater that was reported on the news. He was in bad shape—weak and helpless. It turns out that they both had come in contact with some wizard that wanted revenge on Cell for killing his brother—the one that caused the havoc a few years ago. The wizard cursed my mother to sickness and cursed Cell as well. It turns out that if Cell returned to Earth, which the wizard was counting on because of my mother dying, he would turn into what he hated most—a human."

It was at that moment with those words that Kei's eyes narrowed and his face became darker. He solved the puzzle before I even finished. He now understood where I was going with this. He knew exactly who Seru was and now it made complete sense as to why he was wearing that yellow shirt.

But I didn't let that stop me; I continued. "I brought him home because I didn't know what else to do. I felt I had to do something because he had saved me once upon a time. The next morning he had completely transformed into a human. And I know you've put the pieces together. Seru is Cell. And yes, I did sleep with him. Yes, I thought I had a thing for him. And I will not lie to you anymore about it. I came out here looking for him because I wanted to get him out of my life for good. But before you burst out at me, I want you to know that you are the man I love and I am so, so sorry for what I've done. I never meant to hurt you. I don't know why I felt the need to do this behind your back. I…I can't even ask for forgiveness because I know I don't deserve it."

I stopped when I felt my emotions starting to take over. Did I feel better now that I told him? No. I was so afraid that the air felt much colder than it had been. I wanted to run away and find someplace to hide where I could die. I couldn't bear to look at him now. I was afraid to.

We stood in silence for a long time. A very long time, actually. I didn't have the guts to look at him and he said absolutely nothing to me. But he didn't walk away either. I wanted him to tell me I was the biggest bitch in the world and that I deserved to be treated the way I was by Cell. I wanted him to say whatever was on his mind just to get it over with so I could break down…I knew it was coming.

"There would've been a time I thought you'd never do something like this," he said a tad bit hoarsely. "And yet, after learning what I have about this Cell, I'm not surprised. I don't think you're disloyal with other men…it's just this bastard of a creature that has interfered with your life two too many times."

My eyes, which were now swollen and filled with tears, looked at him with awe that he hadn't started to yell at me or leave me standing there with my own misery. I could see the hurt in his eyes, the pain in his face, but he stared at me with the devotion that apparently hadn't retreated from his heart.

Kei's jaw tightened and he looked towards the woods. "If I ever see that thing again I'll beat him into the ground and show him that he's nothing."

"Kei," I said quickly while shaking my head. "He's still stronger than you think—he'd kill you!"

"No one uses my girl like he has," Kei said firmly.

"You must understand that he didn't force me," I said, almost on the verge of that break down.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "He's nothing but a womanizer. He didn't stay to fight for you, did he? No, he left because I came home. He used you. Yeah, you ignored our relationship and let him, but he did nothing except set you up."

I think Kei had more of a feeling that Cell planned for all of this to happen, which I know wasn't true, but I couldn't get beside the fact that he wasn't really angry at me. "Then you…you're not about to walk away from me?"

"I really am disappointed and annoyed with you, Sasara," he told me. "But I understand the circumstances. If I hadn't read those journals from how many years ago I wouldn't be as forgiving as I am now."

He started to walk back to the house and I quickly followed. He didn't look at me and I only glanced at him. He wasn't walking quickly, though, which meant he wasn't as ticked off as I thought he would've been. I was still scared, don't get me wrong, but I felt a ton better knowing that I still had a chance to keep him. I looked back for a split second towards the trees when I thought someone was watching. In the darkness of the shadows I almost thought I saw yellow, but I ignored it. Instead I reached out and took Kei's hand and held it as we walked. And to my relief, he tightened his hold and held mine back.