I have updated this very late. I am so sorry guys! Thanks for a few kick butts too! I was caught up in my other stories, random one shot about the Kazekage and Gaara (a happy one), and life. Plus, this story is the hardest to write out of all, and I hit a writer's wall.
But I do have the story planned out, and I will finish it, and update as regularly as I can.
Thanks for reviews and reading my story! I do not claim ownership to the Naruto world or it's inhabitants. Masashi-sama. That's for your lawyer.
Enjoy the chapter! It was probably one of the hardest to write! It brings us deeper in the non existent bond the Kazekage had with his family!
Reina laughed with Baki as they shared stories of their lives whilst running full speed, intending to arrive at the pier before the end of the next day at the latest. Time. Time was crucial to save people. However, nothing stopped them from getting to know each other whilst traveling.
"Really? He did? Aw... That's... Kind of cute!" she chuckled.
"It was, actually. I'm telling you, people might consider Gaara as a terrifying beast but, on the inside, he is just one big baby sometimes. He once saw a huge spider next to him and he acted as if everything was cool but we all saw him slowly edge away from it, hoping that we wouldn't notice. He's human. People just don't see it because of his demon." continued Baki, reminiscing about the rare good times he had spent with his team.
Reina's clear laugh rang out again and she slammed a hand over her mouth to keep it in.
She normally didn't talk to her mission companions, let alone laugh with them. Actually, she simply didn't laugh much, period. But this man was truly amazing, interesting and was such a caring sensei deep, deep down. If it weren't for the fact that everyone knew that Baki's students where the Kazekage's children, she would have thought that their roles were opposite. Baki was the loving father, and the Kazekage was the grouchy sensei.
She was so happy that she ended up placed with him. It made her travel less dull and made her forget, maybe just for a second, about all the pain and death that the shipwreck had caused.
She hoped, secretly, that he would join her and her brother on their search for the shipwreck, that she more or less located the area of. She had a feeling that the search party wouldn't even consider going as far as that. But he seemed to be the type of guy who always followed protocol and saving those people was more important to her than her new friendship.
However, she enjoyed being with him. He was so good at telling stories that it almost made her like the Kazekage's disappeared children. Almost.
This wasn't happening.
Gaara and Temari stared at the guilty looking Kankuro, then at each other.
Were they hallucinating? No, he actually said that.
Once again, they had lost their brother. But in a different way this time.
Temari drew in a ragged breath and placed a hand on Kankuro's shoulder.
"You... You don't remember who we are?" she whispered, knowing the answer anyway.
The puppet-nin slowly shook his head and smiled lamely.
"I'm sorry. But, judging by the way you two have treated me since I woke up, I think that I should..." he trailed off, inspecting his siblings curiously. "So... Who are you guys?"
Temari slowly closed her eyes and sighed.
"Oh no... Please, no... Why him?" she whispered, scratching her forehead with her trembling hand, realizing that this was a very serious reality.
But Gaara didn't understand.
"What? What are you talking about, Kankuro? You know who we are!" he growled, getting frustrated. Why was his brother acting so dumb? This wasn't the least bit funny! He nearly died falling off of a waterfall, for crying out loud!
The puppet-nin flinched at the redhead's murderous tone.
Temari placed an arm around her youngest sibling's shoulders and turned him away from the brunet.
"Neh, Kankuro? Give us a moment, 'kay?" she smiled at the boy and led Gaara out of the shelter.
Once outside, the jinchuuriki tore his himself away from his sister.
"Temari. What is going on?" he asked, fists clenched in anger.
The girl gulped and crossed her arms nervously.
"Gaara... Kankuro has... amnesia. That fall made him lose his memory. He can't remember who we are. I don't know what he can or cannot remember, which is why we have to be patient with him, to help him. Okay?" she said, letting the information sink in.
For a second, she feared that the boy would become furious and attack Kankuro, but he seemed strangely calm. He blinked and looked at her.
"Kankuro... Can not remember us? Even if he is our brother?" His eyes showed so many emotions. Hurt, confusion, pain, lost.
"No. He can't. He might remember some things, but not who we are. That is for sure."
The redhead stayed silent for a moment then nodded, looking completely horrified.
Temari let out the breath she didn't know she was holding, and pulled the boy into a quick hug.
"Gaara. Kankuro might not be gone forever. This might be temporary. But I don't know if it really is... Don't look at me like that! I don't know! We have to try to make him remember!"
Gaara nodded yet again, looking as if his mind were no longer in this world.
So many, many things he didn't even know were possible. And the world has decided to teach them to him this way. He felt frustrated.
But for the first time in his life, he realized that... This wasn't about him. It was about Kankuro.
How could Temari automatically prioritize other people so easily, when it took him hours of thought just deciding whether or not he should go after his brother the day he ran out alone into the rain?
He knew that he was selfish, but it was the world that made him so. It was his only defense against the pain his uncle and father had caused him. The wound of the heart.
It truly was the worse of them all.
Hopefully, being with his siblings would help him open up, without getting destroyed again.
Gaara mentally hit himself.
He was doing it again... making it about him.
"My name is Temari. I am your older sister. And Gaara is our little brother. We all have the same father, who is more or less an asshole. He is the leader of our village. We are on this island because we had a little accident. You can ask me any question you want, OK?" the kunoichi smiled and introduced herself to her own sibling, who smiled back.
"Um..." his eyes trailed towards Gaara who was sitting crossed legged on the floor, mind in the distance. "Is... Gaara feeling OK? And what about our mother?"
He noticed that both of the people in front of him visibly flinched at the mention of the Kazekage's late wife. He made a mental note to never ask them about their shared mom ever again.
The redheaded boy answered the first question, swaying awkwardly and making a face.
"I... am feeling fine. What about you? How do you feel?"
Temari glanced at him in shock. She had never heard Gaara say something like that before. He must have something on his mind. She resolved to asking him later, but replied to her eldest brother's request first.
"Our mother died during birth because our father sealed... something inside of Gaara, which made her lose her life. She was nice, I guess. She had short dirty-blond hair, brown eyes and a soft smile whenever she wanted to."
The redhead didn't react too badly, so the kunoichi guessed that it was the right answer.
Kankuro laughed quietly whilst staring right at Temari.
"You mean... Our mother has your smile?"
His sister looked at him, taken aback. She then glanced at Gaara.
"No... She had Gaara's smile. Your eye color but my eye shape. A mixture of your and my hair. Gaara's face shape. We all definitely inherited parts of her." she bit her lip, suddenly filled with nostalgia. She could remember her mother so well, as if she were still there. She had known her for the longest and at this moment was the only person who wished that she was there with them.
The puppet-nin nodded and smiled, then turned towards his brother to answer his question.
"I'm feeling fine! Nice of you to ask. The... weather is comfortable."
He and Temari both chuckled softly and the redhead shook his head in amazement, the corners of his lips lifting up. He then frowned and wondered if that was how his mother used to smile.
During the next few hours, they described life in Suna to Kankuro, hoping that he would remember something, anything, that might unblock the rest of his memory. Nothing yet. They then told him about the shipwreck, leaving out a few gory details that might be too much for his injured mind to handle at this moment.
He nodded and listen, complimenting his siblings' narrative skills occasionally, making Temari smile but making Gaara twitch in exasperation. He wasn't as patient as his sister.
The entire day had passed but the puppet-nin hadn't been illuminated about a single thing. The kunoichi fed her team before forcing her eldest brother to sleep, knowing that he needed his recovery time. After changing his bandages and washing the bloodied ones, she noticed that he was right about the family having an amazing immunity system and recovery rate. But he was most definitely still injured.
She and Gaara exchanged a look.
"He couldn't remember..." said the redhead, taking his watch spot outside of the shelter, looking up at the moon like he always did.
"It takes time. At least we now know that this is a long-term memory retrograde amnesia." Gaara stared at her as if she had spoken another language. "It means that he lost more or less everything in his mind. It's normally small details or faces. He still remembers how to speak and laugh, so it's probably only a small part of his brain that was damaged. Retrograde means that he forgot things that happened before losing his memory. The opposite would have been not being able to remember things that happen after. They both suck. I hope that Kankuro finds his memories soon too. You did well today, little brother. Goodnight." She placed a hand on his shoulder, before slowly entering the small hut, knowing that the jinchuuriki would have a long, thoughtful night.
The next day started off like they normally did before Kankuro had lost his memory. Temari would wake and cook breakfast, chatting with Gaara.
"Temari... What can we do?" asked the redhead, absentmindedly making sand swirl around him as he traced random patterns onto the ground. The kunoichi sighed."I don't know... I took a few medic courses, but they just mostly told me how each sickness was called, basic healing, like the one I used to relocate Kankuro's shoulder, and cures to the most common diseases. They did mention a little about amnesia though... But the answer is pretty simple. To make the victim regain memory, you normally should try to remind him about his past, but that didn't work. Sometimes, it simply takes time."
Gaara looked deep in though, which reminded his sister about what she was thinking about the day before.
"Gaara, I forgot to ask you yesterday but... Why did you act so... different? You spend the entire afternoon asking Kankuro is he was feeling fine, if he was OK. Are you OK?" she continued her cooking but kept an eye on her brother, observing his reactions. His face was void of emotion but, after a moment of hesitation, he answered.
"I... I was trying to be less selfish so that... Kankuro won't hate me. So that you won't hate me." He said it softly, not wanting to shout out his problem for the world to hear.
Temari nearly dropped the pot of boiling water over herself in shock. How could he still think things like that after all this time?
Setting the pot down carefully on the ground, she walked over to Gaara and crouched down so that he could see her eyes, filled with honesty and remorse.
"You might have acted... difficult sometimes, but, Gaara, deep down, I know that you have a heart of gold. Your mind was clouded with the darkness because of our guardians but inside you are still our little five year old brother, incredibly kind, but so much more misunderstood. Of course, you have grown stronger in every way and are much more experienced now. Plus, you are starting to get how this damn crazy world works again." She grinned at him when the corners of his lips twitched up. "Kankuro doesn't hate you. Actually, I'm pretty sure he adores you now, with all that attention you gave him yesterday. And Gaara, as I have told you many times, I don't hate you. Never did, never will. I love you little brother. Get it through your thick skull, OK?" She chuckled and placed a pointed finger on the redhead's love kanji tattoo, making the boy blink and nod slowly.
Right at that moment, Kankuro limped out of the shelter, grinning so brightly, he didn't look the least bit in pain, even with bandages holding his forehead together. Not to mention a re-located shoulder and broken ribs.
"Good morning Temari! Good morning Gaara!" he called out happily, sitting down next to his siblings.
The kunoichi moved away from the redhead and carefully gave the older boy a one armed hug.
"Hey. You look as if you are in a good mood today." she raised her eyebrow when he tried to clap his hands together, but resorted to snapping his fingers when he realized that it wasn't possible with one arm in a sling.
"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be? I am stuck in this awesome place with two awesome people! My brother and sister too! Sure, I don't really know you and I'm kinda sore, but that is going to change right?"
Temari and Gaara both exchanged an awkward look. They both hadn't expected this at all.
"Um... Glad to hear that, Kankuro. Are you hungry?" She handed him and Gaara some food and they started their breakfast.
The jinchuuriki continued to stare at the other boy, flipping the words he had spoken in his head.
Awesome place? Awesome people?
Did Kankuro really think that? Gaara didn't find this place the least bit 'awesome'. Sure, he had thought it was peaceful but he now realized the danger it was. It had nearly killed his brother twice.
The part that had shocked him the most was what his brother thought of him. He guessed that Temari was right, and that Kankuro didn't hate him after all. But the redhead feared that it was only because the puppet-nin couldn't remember the horrible things he had done. If he remembered, then he would probably hate him. Or maybe not... Since Temari hadn't lost her memory and she had told him that she loved him again.
Gaara really hated being confused, but the feeling seemed to return so much more often ever since he had arrived on this island.
The meal passed quickly and the three teenagers were sitting awkwardly, not knowing what to do. The girl of the group checked her brother's injuries again, smiling when she saw that they looked less raw and painful compared to the day before. Suddenly, Kankuro lifted his head.
"Hey... I've wanted to ask you guys since last night... Which one of us made that shelter? It looks great. Could do with some improvements though..." He frowned and stood up slowly, then made his way over to the hut. "Hm... The door looks as if it were made too quickly. And the fire pit could be much better than that."
He wrinkled his nose as if seeing under average things made him bitterly disappointed with the world.
Gaara mentally gasped and realized what could be the perfect way to make Kankuro remember his past. By making him do the things he loved doing the most.
"Kankuro. You should try remaking them." suggested the redhead, seeing Temari's eyes widen in realization. Before she could agree with Gaara, Kankuro beat her to it.
"Yeah! Yeah! That seems like fun!"
Gaara was going to explain to the boy how to woodwork, since compared to Temari, he knew much more about it, thanks to Kankuro's advices. But before he could even open his mouth, the puppet-nin had already retrieved the correct equipment and wood to fix their door, using only his right hand, since his left arm was still tied in a sling.
The redhead and his sister watched silently for hours as their brother turned a few branches into something wonderful and amazing. As if he had never forgotten how to and maybe he never had. Temari was starting to understand the boy's situation: he couldn't remember anything about them or their village, but his mind and hands were always made for wood, so that he couldn't erase from his memory. It was part of him in some ways.
Gaara observed his brother with a signature blank face, but his sister noticed the confusion and awe in his eyes. He didn't completely get how amnesia worked, but he was starting to learn.
When Kankuro finished making the door perfect in his eyes, he grinned and jumped back.
"Hey! Looks pretty good! What do you think, Temari and Gaara? Do you think that it looks better now?" he laughed happily, looking absolutely ecstatic.
His siblings were amazed to see how childishly cheerful he was. They both felt a twinges of pain in their hearts, but for slightly different reasons.
Temari was a little hurt that Kankuro seemed so much more happy not remembering anything. Not the village. Not his family. Not her.
Gaara knew that nothing he did could ever make another person this happy. He didn't even know how to make himself happy, but somehow, others did sometimes. He wondered if he lost his memory, if his mind would be erased of all his dark past, maybe he could have stood around laughing as well.
The jinchuuriki gulped and blinked hoping that his slightly jealous feeling would fade away. He hated feeling things like this. It was stupid and it wasn't fair for his brother. But he simply couldn't wish the thoughts away. His mind was covered in scars. Scars that made him think of himself much more than he knew he should. He couldn't believe that it took losing his brother to realize it.
"It is very nice, Kankuro. How did you know how to make the door?" smiled Temari, curious and wondering if there was anything else that he knew how to do instinctively.
"I dunno... I just remembered. It really isn't that different from making puppets after all." The boy grinned as his siblings' eyes widened in shock. Surprisingly, they had forgotten to tell him about his puppets. "Hey! Don't get too excited! The wood thing... It click somewhere in my head. It is something I used to do. Something that I was pretty good at too, huh? But that's about it..." he scratched his head guiltily.
Gaara was half glad, but half disappointed. He remembered puppets, but he couldn't remember him? Why? The boy sighed and gave his brother an encouraging nod, telling him that he was happy way deep inside.
Temari jumped to her feet and hugged Kankuro.
"That's great! It's a pretty good start. Puppets. Do you remember what you did with them?" she asked, pulling away from the boy. He shook his head.
"Apart from making them... And hiding weird, dangerous crap in them... No."
His sister racked her brains, trying to figure out what to do next.
Ah, she could have a training session with her brothers! But... He was still healing and, with broken ribs, anything remotely athletic could severely hurt him. Maybe if he just watched Gaara and her do some sparring? She thought that it was a good idea, but decided against making Kankuro move from the camp to the forest right now, since this was only his second day after his accident and not only could he probably get tired easily, but the smell of his drying blood could interest more than Shukaku.
She was snapped out of her reveries when Kankuro cleared his throat, seeming to think very hard about something.
"Um... Temari... Am I a ninja?" he asked. "'Cause that's the only reason I can think of as to why I would carry around a poisonous gas filled puppet on my back."
The kunoichi laughed out loud at the question, realizing something. Her brother was starting to regain his memory all on his own, by piecing together small details and coming to conclusions. This was a good thing, but the girl knew that there was always a dark side as well as a light side in everything. Even if the light side was that he was remembering slowly but surely, there was obviously a danger to an amnesiac person forming his past with a few given memories.
But at that moment, Temari was too happy to give it a second thought.
"Yes! And if I may say so, we three are the best ninja of our age group... and entire village for that matter. Hah! Our father? Most powerful and terrifying guy in Suna? My ass. Sure, he's not bad at fighting, but he sucks at about everything else." answered the kunoichi, smirking confidently.
Kankuro frowned in confusion, making his sister's smile drop and Gaara fixed his gaze on the boy, wondering what could be nagging at him.
"I... don't understand. Why do you hate our father so much? I mean, he is our father after all, right? What could he have done to us that was so bad? He can't be that horrible." said the boy, instantly regretting the words when he saw the absolutely furious looks in his siblings' eyes.
He braced himself, ready to get yelled at by Temari, but didn't expect Gaara to be the one to reply. When he met the redhead's gaze, it's intensity and anger seemed to burn a painful hole in Kankuro's chest.
"Yes, he can be that horrible. He is not our father. He killed our mother by sealing a monster inside of me. He tried to kill me when I couldn't control the monster. He asked our uncle to kill me, knowing that it would kill me on the inside! He treated us like monsters! Because of him, I became a monster! Because of him, everyone in our village hates me and want nothing more than to see me dead!" The boy started out in a low hiss but ended up shouting at his brother.
Temari blinked in shock, stared at her feet and couldn't help feeling guilty. Never had she seen Gaara like this and she felt that her brother's loneliness was partly her fault, since she had never made any real effort to connect with him until the shipwreck, when her brothers were all she had left in the world.
Kankuro took a step back in surprise and his jaw popped open.
"What the hell? That's crazy! How could anyone do that to their own kid? In what fucked up world do we live in? You're twelve!" gasped the brunet, eyes wide in horror.
Gaara sneered and crossed his arms.
"In what world do you live in, Kankuro? This is reality. We are all part of it."
Temari lifted her head and put a hand on the junchuuriki's shoulder, not sure if she was trying to be comforting or if she was trying to get him to stop scaring Kankuro. Gaara didn't acknowledge the touch, but didn't push her way either. He wasn't sure if he needed or wanted any of his sister's comfort at this moment. He was angry. He knew that he was being unreasonable, turning his anger on Kankuro, but he couldn't help it. He just loathed his father so much.
However, the puppet-nin might have lost his memory, but his talent for making sure to hit all Gaara's dangerous spots was still there.
"Gaara, why didn't you kill him or something? If our madman of a father was trying to harm you, why didn't you stop him?"
The jinchuuriki opened his mouth to shout at his brother again, but his throat went dry when he realized that he didn't really have an answer to that.
Why? Why hadn't he ever tried to kill the Kazekage? Was it because he knew the consequence with the village if he did? Or was it because before Yashamaru had betrayed him and revealed that his father had sent assassins after him, his young six year old self had still believed the Kazekage to be his daddy? The daddy that every son loved and looked up to, simply because a six year old kid couldn't hate his own father even if the man never even looked at him. He used to be innocent. His father's betrayal had made him a monster. He was no longer six.
But that still didn't answer Kankuro's question. Why hadn't he ever tried to murder his father? The man never had any remorse trying to kill him.
"... I am not like him."
It was hardly more than a whisper, but Kankuro and Temari heard him loud and clear.
The kunoichi drew in a shaky breath. No, Gaara was nothing like their father. Even if he had threatened them, her little brother had never tried to kill any of his family members before. He couldn't do it because... he wasn't a monster. Her father was. He was the demon. He was the demon that haunted their family. He always had been, but simply blamed it all on Gaara, knowing that the redhead wouldn't do anything about it. Gaara had always taken the blame, accepted it and shut himself off from the world. The Kazekage had made her baby brother believe that he was a monster and Temari, looking into Gaara's eyes, saw that he still believed it.
Without thinking, the girl wrapped her arms around Gaara, pulling him close to her.
"No. You were never like him. You were always so much better than that monster." She gently rubbed the boy's back until he relaxed and calmed down.
Kankuro watched silently, feeling left out, wishing that he had stopped the young boy from being in so much pain. Most of all, he wished that he could remember.
OK, wow about time huh?
For once the end is not a cliff hanger. I seem to live off of those. So yeah, a non stressful ending this time.
Thanks for those who haven't abandoned me through my endless thinking time. I'm sorry for taking so long. It's here. Hope you enjoyed it! I probably don't deserve it, but I will appreciate all reviews :)
Love you all readers!
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia
