Good morning to everyone!

It's been a while ;)

I am not able to update as often as I used to because the exams has started. I should have some winter break coming soon though.

I keep my fingers crossed for snow to fall until then... Seriously, winter without snow is a cruel thing.

So here it is, the promised flashback chapter! (with a few present interjections)

Enjoy and please, leave a review!


Part XII


What does a man think at the verge of death, in the last moments of his rational thinking; right before the consciousness ebbs away ? When death stares into his face, taking the air out of his lungs?

Will is thinking about the Bristi Badlands. How he always wanted to see it but never got a chance, convinced he still has time.

He imagines the layers of rock, each painted in different, fascinating and unique color. He imagines it in the cold, autumn sunrise, empty and silent, when the sharp red sun rays are ripping the black sky, the cloud of warm breath escaping his lips.

He is thinking how he really got here.

How it all started. When it all started. When he made that bold decision to start digging into Nikita's parents' murder case. When he practically forced her to take the path she is walking now.

The same path that cost so many people life. Along with him.

He struggles to take another breath, his veins on fire, and he can't move, he can't even scream, because his body is uncooperative. Numb. As it wouldn't be his anymore.

Somewhere along the way he got too confident. He thought they can do it.

He was such a fool…

888

Few years earlier:

"Will? What are you doing here? "

Nikita is standing right in front of him, with a tray and the black notepad in her hand. She looks around, disorientated, searching for any sign of oncoming apocalypse. Because only an apocalypse would be a justified reason for him to appear here.

"My place seems….crowded lately. I needed to catch some air."

She quirks her eyebrow, not buying it. " Yeah, because Rocket's coffee Diner is so cozy and quiet."

"I wanted to talk to you." He admits.

Will can't help staring at her uniform. A knee long, black flaring dress with red apron. Black, flat ballerinas shoes. First time he sees her dressed up in something else than worn jeans and a t-shirt. He didn't even suspect her of having such clothes in her wardrobe. Her hair is pulled up in a neat bun at the nape of her neck which does something really funny to her cheekbones.

"You look adorable, kid. Who knew you can look like an actual girl? " He can't help teasing her. " If you'd just work on the face expression, I mean, a little less 'say another word and I will punch you' look, I would totally fall for you. No kidding."

She lets out a laughter, but it dies quickly on her lips as she catches Arthur's reproachful glance. He is her boss and the only thing he hated more than communists was time-wasting.

She clears her throat. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

He looks around the crowded dinner. Of course it is crowded, it's a lunch time.

"Is there… is there some place when we can talk in private?"

"Dumpsters on the back are very private….. In 30 minutes I am having a quarter of break. Until then; in today's special we have a chicken sandwich with rocket salad and grilled cheese."


"So….How long exactly do I have to babysit your friend?"

They are leaning against a brick wall, near the metal door with "for staff only" stamp on it. A sweet odour of putrid trash makes him feel the rocket salad sandwich in his throat again.

"Not long." she answers.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure this is what I've heard last week too. "

" It's hard for Mary you know. Starting over. She needs time to sort the things out. Besides, you have over 100 square metres for yourself and you could use some company, you old grump."

"You are not that hard to read, sunshine. I see what you are doing here. You are playing a match maker."

"Wha-What? That's ridiculous!" She lets out a nervous laughter, a mere attempt to hide the guilt.

"I appreciate your concern, but I am perfectly fine on my own. Always was. "

"No one should be alone Will." She holds her glance on him, worried and concerned.

"Said the girl with a left hook as an answer to a bar flirt." He snorts.

Ghost of a smile crosses her face. "You are never going to let me live that down , are you?"

"Not in this century, sunshine." He smirks, glaring at her hunched figure. It's November and she is wearing just this ridiculous uniform and a thin sweater casted on her shoulders.

" Niks, are you sure, this diner isn't a cover for some kind of kinky schoolgirl porn club? You all got that look, you know."

"In your dreams." She scoffs. She is holding a paper cup with a hot coffee, more likely for the hands' warming rather than drinking. She didn't even tasted it

" I mean... if it was, I could even consider forgiving you for your terrible matchmaking skills."

"Fine." She rolls her eyes at him. "I will find her another place. Anything else?"

"Actually...yes." He lingers.

She can't not notice the reserve in his pose. An uneasiness which always precedes the confession of guilt.

( 'Niks, that dragon flower you thought has wilted…. I accidentally sat on it.'

'I lied. I didn't actually stop breaking into people's bank accounts. But hey, I bought us some really cool ice cube machine.' )

"What's wrong? " She knits her brows, worried.

"You're gonna be angry…."

"Will…."

"I know you have every right to be angry because you asked me and I promised and I tried, I really tried to keep it but you know me and you know how hard it is for me to refrain when someone says 'don't do it.' It's just a physiological reaction, you know. When I hook on somet-"

"Will!"

"Ok….. I ….I looked into your parents' murder files."

It feels like a punch in the face and it takes her breath away for a moment. Bringing this topic up always does. That's why she set the 'no talking, no touching' rule when it came to her past.

"Ok." She shrugs her shoulders fighting the numbness that starts in her fingers. "So?"

"So I need you to tell me one more time exactly what happened that night. I have a feeling something doesn't add up in the police reports."

"Police reports? How can you have access to police reports from the case almost a decade old?"

"Come on, Niks. You know what I do."

She knew. But they never talked about him hacking private's people computers, stealing from their bank accounts. Evey time they did, it ended up with a fight.

"Please. I need to hear it. It's important." He insists.

"No." She shakes her head rigidly. "Forget it."

"Niks, please…. I think I might-"

"I'm not going back on that road. I'm finally starting to feel like I have a life."

"You life was stolen from you. Don't you want to know who is to blame?"

Numbness has reached her shoulders, hands and arms feel like they were made of concrete. "It was a random mugging gone wrong 9 years ago. How possibly can you know what happened?"

"Trust me this one time kid. I might have something. A lead. Good one. All I need it to hear your version one more time. I promise I will never force you to it again."

"Yeah... Like you've promised to stay out of it in the first place. What exactly do you want to hear?"

"Everything you remember. Everything."

She takes a deep breath and fights the numbness, now filling her lungs.

"Just think about it ok?"

"Ok." She nods reluctantly but doesn't really mean it. She doesn't want to think about it and sure as hell she doesn't want to talk about it.

"I should get back to work."


Nikita surprises them both, knocking at Will's door the very same evening.

He welcomes her with a warm, grateful smile and clears the couch from the piles of clothes.

"Mary treats this place like her own giant goddamn wardrobe. Her stuff is everywhere." He sighs, irritated.

"Where is she?" Nikita asks looking around the empty loft.

"Don't know. Don't care."

He wants to make them coffee but Nikita refuses, feeling that the heavy lump of ice in her stomach won't let her swallow anything. Will makes one for himself though.

She curls in the corner of his couch pulling her legs up to her chin, holding them in a tight embrace. He sits right next to her, placing a thick file holder on his lap, ready to compare every detail with the reports.

"I was supposed to sleep over at my friend's house that night." Nikita tugs the sleeve of her sweather nervously. "But we had this really stupid fight , I don't even remember what was it about…. But I didn't want to go there. I wanted to stay home. But my dad insisted. He didn't want me to fool around the house that night. They had something important to do."

"Do you know what it was?" Will asks.

"No." She shakes her head. "But it wasn't anything unusual. He was running for the senator's office that year. There was a lot of tension, a lot of people visiting him these days. I was so embarrassed that I had a fight with Lacy that I didn't tell them anything. I just left the window in the guest bedroom open and later climbed up by the tree that was growing near the house.

I knew that if I was quiet, no one would know I was there. It was very exciting. Having a secret, doing something forbidden.

"The guest bedroom…. " Will looks through the files on his lap. "It was on the second floor, right? Did you hear anything that was happening downstairs?"

"Not really…. I've heard some voices, I knew they were talking but I couldn't different the words. "

"Ok." He nods, giving het a sign to continue.

"So I was sitting there, playing with my toys which were stashed there. I think... I think that I heard a doorbell and I-"

"Exactly! The doorbell." He exclaims. "If your parents let in the person who killed them by door then he wouldn't have to smash the basement window as it is said in police report. It wasn't random mugging gone wrong Niks, whoever that was, they knew him and they let him in. Probably even invited him over. This important business they were having was not as much important as it was dangerous, so they didn't want you to be home. They were afraid of something. Hasn't it ever bothered you why did you survive? Why this guy didn't look for anyone else who might be home? Becaue he knew you were away, Niks. "

"That's insane…." The thought is so unimaginable that it sends shivers down her spine.

"Why didn't you tell the police about the doorbell? "

"I….I don't know. When I woke up in the hospital, the police officer was already there. He told me that I lost both my parents and that the killer got in by the basement window. I simply assumed I misheard the doorbell."

"How could a cop tell you what has happened instead of asking for your version of events? You were the only survived whiteness! Unless... he wanted you to believe that someone broke in. The report says that fire has started somewhere around 9 p.m. Do you remember it?"

"No... I didn't know what the time was or what was actually happening. It was so...surreal. I remember the gunshot… no, two gunshots. That's when I crawled under the bed. I remember my mom's screams and how she tried to hide in the guest bedroom but... " Nikita's voice breaks as the most painful memories come. "She knew I was there. She realised I didn't go to Lacy's house in the moment she saw my dolls on the floor. That's why she went back there. She wanted to protect me."

Will puts the reports away and squeezes her hand supportively.

" I remember his shoes. Black, kind of elegant I think….I remember the smoke..." She wipes her brows. "I don't really know which are my memories and which are just nightmares. I woke up in the hospital and as soon as I found out that they will put me in the foster care, I escaped...got in with a bad crowd...drugs. You know the rest."

"Niks, there's no way it was a mugging gone wrong. And it wasn't random. Someone wanted to target your parents. More importantly, that someone knew you won't be home that day. That must have been someone close to the family."

She fails to respond, breathing heavily. "I feel sick….I'm gonna throw up."And then she jumps out of the couch, rushing to the bathroom.


Will hands her over a wet towel, his eyes filled with concern and grief. "I'm sorry Niks. But it will get worse before it gets better."

"Thanks." She takes the wet towel and puts it on the nape of her neck. "Willl… you won't dig deeper. Promise me. Promise me you will let it go."

His head snaps up at her. He always thought she wanted to avenge her family.

"Don't you want to know who was it?"

"No. " She shakes her head, her eyes glistering with pain.

"Why?"

"Because nothing we would do, won't bring them back."

888

His muscles clench in an unimaginable cramp, pain is unbearable but not a sound comes out of his mouth. He watches him walking around his own apartment, moving his private things….

The vision gets blurry, the lack of oxygen is poisoning his brain.

He fights for another moment of consciousness, he fights the darkness.

888

"Excuse me." Will mumbles brushing past the couple in the door. Some woman has stopped in the entryway, looking around like she would expect the ceiling to collapse any second.

"Are you sure they have here something eatable here?" she turns to the man who came with her.

"Hon, we were supposed to eat lunch. "It's a Diner and it has free tables. Let's sit."

Will watches the man placing his hand on the small of her back encouraging her to go forward. They choose the table by the window, in the calmer part of the place.

"Will you can't invade me at my work, I'm busy! " Nikita snarls in hushed voice once she notices him. "What is it this time?

She throws a quick glance at the new clients. Arthur didn't tolerate neglecting any of the guest. Fast service is the key- he used to say. Clients must feel welcome the very second they step into the Diner. They have to know that they will be attended quickly and earnestly.

"Give me two minutes. " Nikita takes the hot pot of coffee and the tray with cups and she approaches them.

"Good afternoon." She smiles politely to both of them and pours the dark liquid to the coffee cups.

Man sends her surprised glare. "I'm sorry but he haven't order anything yet."

"It's Rocket's coffee Diner, sir. First cup is for free." She explains with undying smile. Another policy of Arthur. Guests must know that the service is happy and eager to attend them. There is no problem that can't solved by a smile.

"We also have delicious sandwiches with rocket salad. Today's special is beef, rocket salad with garlic dressing and cocktail tomatoes. "When you'll be ready with your order, please let me know" She puts the menu in front of them.

"Ok, spill it out." She says to Will as soon as they are remotely alone by the bar.

He hands her the file holder, his eyes glistering from excitement.

"What is it?"

"I know who he is. "

"Will, damn it, you promised me." She can't hide anger.

"And as always I didn't listen. Open it."

She does. On the first page there is a big photograph and a name. Thomas Kerrigan.

She closes the file quickly. "No." she shakes her head in disbelief. "He was almost a family member."

"Which fits exactly our profile. I did some digging. Turns out he was looking for you when you disappeared from the hospital."

"So? He was close to our family. It's natural that he was concerned."

"That, or he wanted to make sure, you are not a threat. There is more." He encourages her to open the file again.

"I don't want to look at it. Tell me."

"I hacked his computer and I found few gigabytes of pictures, notes and films. All concerning your dad and your mom. I checked it. They were made long before your dad and Kerrigan met officially. It looks like heavy stalking to me."

She puts the file holder away like it would burn.

"Don't you want to take a look?" He asks surprised.

"No. It's useless Will. You obtained it illegaly. There is nothing we could use against him."

"Baby steps, sunshine. We have to do this. He is still out there."

"That's exactly why we shouldn't. You should leave. I'm busy. "

888

He should have known better than that. He should have known it will swallow them.

But he didn't.

It was the mystery that fascinated him so much. This goddamn curiousity, that brought him here.

He can no longer see or hear anything.

And yet he is calm.

The last thing he feels before he surrenders to the darkness is hope. He hopes she will make it.

888

"Why are you so grumpy all day?" Woman asks jabbing her salad with a fork.

"I told you. I'm working on a tough case."

She sighs. "Sometimes I really don't get you. If this job is so heavy for you, why won't you change it? You know your father always wanted you in his firm."

"My work is important." He states simply.

"Important for whom? Because certainly not for your "clients". They are already dead. You can't help them. If you'd take the job at your father's firm-"

"Enough, Kristie. " Man interrupts her, irritated.

"Just because you decide to look away, doesn't mean that problem disappears and people stop suffering. If I have an opportunity to change that, it would be unbelievable selfishness to bury my head in a sand. "

Nikita freezes, stroke by his words. "Burying your head in a sand." Isn't that exactly what she is doing right now?

She doesn't realize she stopped in the middle of the room with a tray in her hand, staring at the couple, until she catches woman's irritated glare. "Is there any problem?"

Man turns his head back to see what is going on. Nikita feels blush creeping up to her neck when she meets his deep green eyes. So green, they look like two emeralds.

"No. Not at all." Nikita blurts out and disappears in the kitchen.

Once she is alone, she takes out her phone and presses the speeddial. As soon as the other person answers, she says:

"I'm in. Let's take down this son of a bitch."

888

"Hon, I'm home!" She hears his voice coming from the hallway. Jangle of the keys being placed on the commode, a rustle of his jacket.

It makes her lips pull up in a smile. Just in time.

She takes the chicken out of the oven, Wine and vegetables are already on the table. Perfect.

"Hey." she says when Michael enters the living room.

"Hey..." he stops baffled, seeing the perfectly set up table and the food. "What's the occasion?"

"There isn't any. Maybe just that I don't know where I would be now if it wasn't for you. Sit. Everything is ready."

She catches his glance when she hands him over the bowl with hot vegetables. A slice of butter melting on top of it deliciously.

His deep green eyes. Like two emeralds.


Who else is sad about Will? :(:( It was really hard for me to kill one of my favourite characters...

A little explanation: neither Nikita nor Michael is aware that they have met before in the Diner where she used to work. The thing she says to Michael in the end is totally coinidental, yet very much accurate.

Because as you already know, there isn't such thing as coincidence. ;)

The details of Will's death will be revealed in the next chapter,

Please leave a review,

until the next time!