So I was working on a story earlier in the day and accidentally deleted it. I'm still crying from the loss of two days worth of words, words I will never get back!
But I guess it happened for a reason because now I have successfully updated this lovely story~
This is a continuation to Chapter 11, which was first brought from Angel0Wonder's "what if" Citrus universe.
- Disclaimer: Citrus characters do not belong to me
"Another one," Matsuri said as she pushed her empty glass across the polished wooden table. She leaned on the counter, her elbow bent slightly as she ran a hand through her strawberry blonde hair. The Friday night bartender casually took the glass as Matsuri watched him fill it with three-quarters of amber liquid. She'd lost track of how many drinks she took tonight, but she guessed she was nearing what two hands could count. When the bartender returned her drink, he added a glass of water with a twist of lime by the side. Matsuri stared back at him and decided to take only the whiskey.
She wasn't a kid anymore. And she most certainly didn't need a chaser.
With a heavy sigh, she lifted the glass held delicately in her hand and leveled it to her eyes. It had been at least a week since she last contacted Yuzu. She swished the content in her glass and made the mistake of closing her eyes. In the darkness she could only think back to the horrid memory of the night they spent together. Matsuri then opened her eyes and greedily took the whole glass, drinking it full without so much as a grimace. She'd grown numb to its overwhelmingly acrid taste by now.
The bartender gave her a look of concern before brushing it off and tending to his next customer. "I'll have a martini please."
Matsuri thrummed her fingers along her glass and massaged the bridge of her nose. She wanted to be alone, away from the world. The last thing she needed was to have someone she knew in the same room as her.
Harumin took the seat beside Matsuri and looked her up and down. "You're here again?"
Matsuri flashed her a look of annoyance. "So? What's it to you?"
Harumin sighed and when her order came around, she thanked him with a smile. "Matsuri, when was the last time you saw Yuzu? Or even spoke to her?" She asked before taking a sip from her beverage.
Matsuri kept quiet and pushed her empty glass back and forth between her hands.
"It's been more than a week, hasn't it?" Harumin stated informatively. She could feel the tension weighing between them, but as usual, she didn't mind it and pressed on. "You know she's worried about you."
Matsuri turned to Harumin and quickly looked away. Of course she was worried. She left Yuzu that night and didn't come back to their apartment. It had gone on for a week now. Yuzu had called her countless times and tried to get in touch with her. Matsuri waved every one of them off. She couldn't face her, not after that night, not after hearing Mei's name right when they were in the middle of having sex.
"I know you told her that you needed space. But just how long do you intend to stay away from her?" Harumin kept her voice even and low. She was well accustomed to dealing with people and their problems. Back in high school, she was Yuzu's most trusted confidant and adviser.
"I don't know," Matsuri replied regrettably, allowing the pain she felt to seethe through words. She wanted to stay away for as long as she could, until she could forget it all.
"This isn't helping either of you." Harumin studied the drink in her hand. "Without you in your life, Yuzu has regressed to a pool of tears and a storm cloud of anxiety. She's a mess. It's almost as bad as when M-" Matsuri shot her a dangerous glance, and in the moment Harumin stopped herself from completing the name. "Almost as bad as when she left."
Matsuri sighed and dropped her head. She hated that their separation was hurting Yuzu, but at the same time she couldn't ignore the fact that she was hurt first. She could try to hear her out, but what good what that do her? Matsuri wasn't one to lie to herself. She knew they'd most probably argue and Yuzu would only be the victim of her anger. "I can't face her. I'm not ready."
"Then when will you be?" Harumin raised her voice a little louder. "I know she hurt you-"
"She didn't just hurt me Harumin. She betrayed me."
"She did. And there's no amount of apologies that could ever fix that. But it's not like she cheated on you."
"It sure feels like she did."
"It was one night. She knew it was a mistake."
"She said Mei's name as if she was imagining that I was her!"
"Matsuri you know she didn't mean too."
"I asked if she was over her. She said she was. Well it sure as hell didn't sound like it." Matsuri swallowed hard and tried to calm herself. She was only seconds away from throwing her glass at the shelf and getting herself arrested.
Harumin allowed a moment of silence to pass between them. She took a look at her drink and realized she barely made a dent in it.
"I refuse to be her replacement. I don't want be just a sub in," Matsuri said, her voice sounding incredibly soft and almost fragile.
"Matsuri..."
Matsuri clenched her fist until her knuckles turned white from exertion. The bar went quiet again and all that could be heard was the faint classical music playing in the background.
Harumin released a breath and finished the remainder of her drink. Matsuri simply stared blankly into the reflection of her glass and slowly unclenched her hand.
"Looks like we both need to blow off some steam," Harumin said and managed a cold, humorless grin. Looking after Yuzu took a lot of hard work. Even she had to admit it was beginning to stress her out. She needed some relief, some distraction to ease her for the night, preferably something non-alcoholic. Harumin gave Matsuri the side eye and knew they were both on the same boat. She checked the time on her phone and placed some cash on the table.
"Come on," she took Matsuri by the arm who initially pulled away with a scowl. "We both know this isn't going to do either of us any good. And I just so happen to know the perfect place we can hit."
Matsuri looked back at her empty glass on the counter. It would take her a while before she'd sober up. She placed some cash to pay her tab and followed Harumin out of the bar. Whatever place they were going to, she sure hoped it would be better than that.
They arrived at a dimly lit street and walked down a flight of stairs, leading to a very sketchy alleyway. Matsuri glanced from side to side as she trailed behind Harumin who seemed to know where she was going. In a matter of minutes, they arrived at a door to which some bouncer stood his post. She gazed and summed up his size, he was about six foot with as much muscle to him as height. They reached the bottom of the staircase and Matsuri heard the faint strains of music. "You took me to a club?" she asked irritably.
Harumin ignored her question and waved at the tall, burly looking bouncer. For a moment he did nothing but stare back at her, unamused. "Hey Big, there a crowd tonight?"
"The usual," he replied and opened the door for her.
Harumin thanked him with a wink and motioned Matsuri for follow. "What makes you say that?" The door led to a narrow hallway, descending deep into the heart of the building. As the music played louder, Matsuri noticed that it was also beginning to get darker as well.
"Oh I dunno, the super shady location, the music vibrating through the walls..." Matsuri couldn't help but grin. "But I'm still debating if you brought be to a strip club."
Harumin rolled her eyes and continued onwards. The girl sure had a wild imagination. Though could she really blame her? The area did have a strange aura. When she arrived at another door, she stopped and looked up at Matsuri. "Why don't you find out yourself?"
Matsuri paused and met her eyes in the darkness. "Fine, I will." When she finally walked in, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Well, so much for a strip club," she said with a grin.
They entered the compound together where darkness blanketed the entire room. Bodies moved in the shadows highlighted with a variety of brush strokes and details of luminescent paint. Matsuri stopped to take in the beat of the music and the heavy atmosphere that thrummed with life all around her. She'd heard about blacklight parties, but she'd never actually been to one.
"Like it?" Harumin asked and watched beside Matsuri.
"Love it," Matsuri confirmed with a satisfied smile.
"Great, then let's get started." Harumin pushed past the people until they reached the corner of the room. Buckets of fluorescent paint ranging from green, pink, orange and yellow sat idly there as Harumin took a spare paintbrush and handed it to Matsuri. "You wanna blow off steam, this is the way to do it."
Matsuri raised an eyebrow as Harumin began shrugging off her jacket to reveal a light pink tank top underneath. "I'm not sure if painting on your body is actually going to help."
Harumin sighed and took a spare paintbrush for herself then dipped it into some orange paint. "Fine, then if you won't start I will." She reached out to Matsuri's face and watched her lean back.
"Okay," Matsuri conceded and waved her own paintbrush at Harumin's face. "Alright, alright I'll play along."
Harumin bit her bottom lip and narrowed her eyes at the girl. "Lay it on me, I can take it." Matsuri dipped her paintbrush in pink and Harumin shot her a glare. "But don't you dare make my face look ridiculous! I spent a lot of time on my makeup tonight."
Matsuri's grin widened. "Why is it always the same with girls like you? Always so concerned with your looks and makeup." She took a step forward and flicked her brush away slightly, relieving the excess paint. "In my opinion I think you'd look rather good in a mustache."
"Matsuri if you do that I swear I'll-"
"Geez, I was just kidding." She laughed and lifted her free hand to caress Harumin's cheek gently. As if I could ever vandalize a face like yours, she thought. Matsuri twirled the brush between her fingers and Harumin pulled away from her touch. "Do you trust me?"
Harumin glanced at Matsuri's paintbrush then back at her.
"Not even a little bit?" Harumin sighed. Matsuri took the cue to begin. "I'm not gonna start on your face, so you can relax." She gave her a long look and smirked. "...For now." Matsuri contemplated on where to begin first and settled on her collarbone. There she painted upwards in spirals until it reached the side of her neck. In the beginning all she wanted to do was splatter the paint over Harumin's body, but now she perished the thought. "Close your eyes," she said and waited for Harumin to do as she instructed. When she failed to comply, Matsuri softened her eyes. "Please?"
"No mustaches."
Matsuri nodded. "No mustaches." She steadied her brush in her hand and set it gently on Harumin's face. Boy, did Yuzu know how to pick her friends. While she painted the curves and angles she had to admit Harumin was highly attractive and was even prettier up close. "Don't move," Matsuri instructed as she did her finishing touches. "There, you can open your eyes now."
Harumin looked straight at Matsuri and watched the girl's jaw drop instantly. Knowing her, she must've done something terrible on purpose.
"Oh shit."
"What? What did you to my face?!" Harumin asked and when Matsuri stood like an idiot, she rushed to find the closest mirror. She stopped and stared for a good few minutes as Matsuri looked from behind.
"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just...crap, do you hate it?"
Harumin made no move and simply stared. And stared. "No, I don't..."
Matsuri sagged with relief and dropped her paintbrush by the nearest bucket. When Harumin turned around and gave her one of her vicious glares, her heart raced on its own. And it wasn't because of the music beating through her skin. By some miracle, she didn't mess up painting on her face. She'd drawn a few lines on her cheeks and lined the edge of her eyes with paint. When she opened her eyes they glowed in the darkness just like the cat she'd imagined her to be. Matsuri couldn't help but feel as though Harumin was looking into her soul.
Harumin dipped her brush in orange paint and pinned Matsuri against the wall. She saw something in the younger girl's eyes, anticipation, maybe even a morsel of fear. Good, she thought. It was a nice change to see her more vulnerable side exploited. "My turn," she said and crossed several line across Matsuri's cheeks roughly. When the brush strokes dried out, Matsuri never stopped staring at Harumin.
"What?"
"Nothing," Matsuri lied and bit down on her bottom lip. She wanted to compliment on how hot she looked having her paint work on her face, on her body. She lowered her eyes as Harumin finished her off and pulled out a small mirror from her pocket.
She saw herself in it and looked back at Harumin without a smile or a grin. "I was counting on the mustache."
Harumin re-applied paint on her brush. "It's not too late."
Matsuri held her wrist firmly as her inner cheek twitched into a grin. "I was just kidding."
Harumin instantly dropped the brush and stepped back at her work. She intended for Matsuri to look like a native, with marks and lines that crossed her cheeks and below her eyes. The girl did have a bit of a wild streak. It suited her perfectly.
"It didn't help," Matsuri said with a frown. "I still feel like shit."
Harumin glanced back at the crowd of people dancing. There was music, and it was playing for a very good reason. "Who said that was it?" She took Matsuri's hand with her own and guided her into the sea of people.
Men and women with glowing body paint illumined the dance floor as Matsuri took in her surroundings. Lights flashed above them as they reached the center and Harumin spun on her heel. "Dancing isn't going to get it out of my system," she said unhappily. She wanted to forget that night, dive into a subspace that isolated her from the world. Now Matsuri was thinking drinking her worries would've been a far better option.
"It will. It's a great way to burn off energy and angst."
Matsuri smirked. "What do you know about angst?"
Harumin swayed side to side. She could tell her what was running through her mind, but she would much rather have Matsuri guessing. Besides, if she did tell her...it probably wouldn't end up great. Instead, she shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes, letting the music guide her every move.
Matsuri stared at her for a few seconds before rolling her eyes. "It might work for you, but it won't work for me." She began pushing past the sea of men and women. Harumin stopped abruptly and chased after her.
"Matsuri wait."
Matsuri kept walking until they reached a narrow hallway. There were some people littering the walls, but not as much as the dance floor.
"I said wait!" Harumin broke into a sprint and finally took her by the wrist.
"What?" Matsuri pulled away and hardened her eyes at Harumin.
"I just wanted to help you. Is that so wrong?"
"You weren't helping me."
"I tried. You didn't."
"You should've just left me at the bar."
"And let you go another day hungover? Well sorry for actually caring about what happens to you."
"I don't need your help, Harumin."
"Is that what you tell yourself?" Harumin stepped closer and Matsuri took one step back. They raised their voices loud enough to draw a few stares from the people around them. "I knew you were stubborn and headstrong. I didn't think you were an idiot."
Matsuri narrowed her eyes and advanced towards Harumin. "Having feelings doesn't make me an idiot. But who am I to tell you that? You haven't been with anyone, at least not long enough to actually love someone."
Silence enveloped the atmosphere and all they heard was the steady thrum of music vibrating through the walls. The people staring at them decided to vacate the area. "You can't say that."
"I can because you don't know the first thing about love. You hide behind your shield all the time thinking it's much better that way. You're too afraid to put yourself out there, too afraid to take a risk." Matsuri didn't stop until Harumin's back hit the wall. "I may be an idiot, but at least I'm not a coward like you," she finished pointedly.
Harumin examined the floor intensely. Matsuri was completely right. She was a coward, too afraid to listen to her heart, too frightened to let her emotions guide her whether it be to happiness or madness. For years she played the safe card, protecting herself from what she feared - breakups, heartaches, the feeling of losing someone she cared about. "You're wrong," she whispered under her breath.
"Oh? Then prove it. Tell me something I don't already know. Cite at least one person you truly love." Matsuri paused. "And no, citing yourself doesn't count."
Harumin took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. It didn't help. "You," she said, meeting Matsuri's eyes in the low light. "I love you."
Matsuri released a rueful laugh, but slowed to a stop when she realized Harumin wasn't joking. Her eyes widened in shock. "You can't be serious."
Harumin shot her a quick, embarrassed look before turning away. There, she said it. Now it could only get worse from here.
"I mean...for how long? Since when?"
"Does it really matter?" Harumin felt tears swelling up in her eyes. She forced them back down. God, these emotions were such a drag. This was exactly why she didn't want to tell her in the first place.
"It does. I want to know." Matsuri softened her voice. The last thing she wanted to do was attack Harumin.
"I can't tell you because I can't remember," Harumin said as bravely as she could.
"And you never told me?" Something in Harumin's eyes warned her she'd somehow asked the wrong question.
"How could I? You were in love with someone else!"
Matsuri looked away and ran a hand through her hair. Of course she was. She was in love with Yuzu, who unfortunately happened to be Harumin's best friend. She muttered a curse under her breath and paced back and forth restlessly. What she said earlier, about relieving her angst by dancing, was that what Harumin did to forget her? To forget her feelings?
Harumin pushed off the wall and headed for the exit. She couldn't hide her feelings anymore and now tears spilled to her cheeks. She didn't want Matsuri to see her crying over something that was never meant to be. With the back of her hand, she wiped them away and walked out into the alleyway.
"Dammit," Matsuri said and ran after Harumin. She refused to leave things like that. After all she'd done to help her, how could she? "Harumin wait!" She cried out and found the girl already breaking into a sprint. It wasn't until she reached nearly the end of the alley that she caught her hand and pulled her back. She saw the stain of tears on her face and the paint that looked like ordinary paint in the dim streetlight.
Matsuri looked at Harumin, really looked at her. First at her eyes and then her lips. From her lips her eyes roamed down her neck and her chest. In that moment she didn't recognize her as Yuzu's best friend. She just saw another girl, an ordinary, pretty girl who harbored feelings for her. "You were right," Matsuri admitted and led Harumin back into the darkness. "I didn't try, but I want to...right now."
While Harumin was staring at the ground, she grasped her chin and forced their eyes to meet. Matsuri brought her mouth down onto Harumin's and waited. She didn't have to wait long. Harumin parted her lips and closed her eyes. They kissed tenuously at first. And while everything in Harumin wanted Matsuri to push her back against the brick wall, force her lips wider, and take full possession of her mouth, she held back and kissed in only the gentlest of ways. Matsuri cupped the back of Harumin's head and allowed herself the liberty of pushing the tip of her tongue against hers. She ran her hands along the back of her thighs and stopped at her waist. Harumin moaned softly in the back of her throat and couldn't stop herself from pressing her hips into Matsuri's. Her entire body carried so much need, so much hunger that she wasn't sure she could stop...
That is until Matsuri's hands began lowering the sides of her panties under her skirt.
Harumin finally wrenched her mouth from Matsuri's. Without warning, her hand shot out and slapped her quick across the cheek hard enough to sting, fast enough to send the right signal.
Matsuri lowered her eyes and realized her mistake. Harumin had been okay with the kiss, but any further than that would've crossed the line. She wasn't just any girl. She was Yuzu's best friend.
"There," Harumin said as her voice broke. "Now you and her are even." She pushed her way past Matsuri and never looked back.
The following day, Matsuri stopped by the apartment door and waited. She sighed, straightened herself out and rang the door bell.
"I'm coming," a familiar voice called out as Matsuri's heart tightened in her chest. Yuzu opened the door and her face blanched.
"Matsuri?"
"Look Yuzu, I'm sorry-" Yuzu wrapped her arms around her instantly, preventing her from finishing the apology she tried so hard to memorize the night before.
"I thought you left me. I thought...you'd never come back."
Matsuri finally reciprocated the hug and held her in her arms. "I'm here."
Yuzu allowed the tears to fall from her eyes. "Please don't leave me again..."
Matsuri brushed her hair gently. "I won't." Her gaze roamed up the wall before coming to rest where Harumin stood from a distance. "I promise."
She closed her eyes thinking it would make it easier. But it didn't.
A/N: Apologies for the heavy delay. I wanted to update this a lot sooner, preferably in February - it would have broken a few hearts I'm sure - but I've been having trouble finishing many of my backlogged Citrus stories.
