So it's been almost a week. I am so sorry! Murphy was reading over my shoulder and laughing. And not in the good way. So I had to keep restarting the whole thing. And then I actually had to get to the shower scene I promised, cause I didn't want to read the reviews if it was left out lol.
Trying something new with the translations so let me know what you think of it this way. And for those of you who actually speak the languages used, I know I suck. They're riddled with mistakes but I'm lucky I can write in English and google isn't exactly the know it all it thinks it is. If anyone would like to volunteer to do the translations for me hit me up. I'd love if they were actually correct!
Chapter 12: Winning Creatively
~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD
The girl was fucking insane! That was the only explanation I could accept. After Romeo told her point blank the last people to stay in this house were tortured to death she should have been terrified out of her mind. But no, instead she just looked at us with those big, innocent, blue eyes completely lacking in appropriate fear, and asked if we trusted her enough to let her have a gun. A fucking gun! Hell we would have given her one when she woke up if she'd have been strong enough to actually point the thing, that wasn't the point. What I really didn't like was she sounded like she was expecting to actually need to use it. "We won' let anythin' happen ta ye, ye know that right?" It felt like I was repeating that a lot.
Her expression went from apprehensively thoughtful to the panic I was expecting in a flash. "It's not that! It's just if somethin' does happen… ya'll can't be everywhere, and I'm not stupid enough to think I could do any good without one. I know ya just met me but it's not like I'm gonna shoot the guys who saved my life."
The thought of her actually trying to shoot one of us had actually never crossed my mind, and was actually slightly amusing even given the grave conversation. After everything she'd shared with us I still found it hard to believe this girl would ever willingly harm a living, breathing, human being, even if she should. I had no intention of telling her she couldn't have the gun but couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't have Conn jumping up my ass again. No one else was jumping in to fill the silence so at least I wasn't alone in the "what do you say to that" boat.
Duffy grabbed a gun from the closest duffle, one of my old berretta's, and checked the clip before handing it to the blonde and digging in the bag again, this time coming up with its matching twin and their silencers. Her panic vanished and I was glad Duff was the one to make the first move, the smile she gave all of us was brilliant and even the bruising couldn't hide her joy. If I'd known giving her a gun would have made her that happy I would have made sure she woke up with one.
I still didn't want to be the first one to talk, and possibly screw up the easy way the dangerous topic had been handled. She was happy and unafraid, which was enough for me; it wasn't like we were going to let anyone get close enough to her that she'd need the gun anyway. Across from us Conn looked about how I felt. Duffy must have been the only one with a still functioning brain anymore, bringing the attention back to the map we'd been arguing over before her rather loaded question.
The discussion was slow to get back on track and no one had any really bright ideas on how to transport enough water to make everyone one happy. I had the sinking suspicion we were going to be hauling water the old fashioned way, one bucket at a time. Personally I didn't care that it'd been a while since we cleaned up and I highly doubted the others did either. It would make the Beth happy though, and give us something to focus on besides the overly floral wallpaper surrounding us so it was better than doing nothing.
Connor was in the middle of trying to convince everyone if we found a large enough hose that we could fill it and drag it back to the house, one of his less dramatic plans but still stupid. "Why don't ya just find a yellow pages and look for one of those water delivery places? If you still have to open a main at least we could carry it easier."
Why didn' one of us think'a tha'? Beth's idea was not only the best by far but also the safest. I was just going to ignore the "we" comment for my own sake of mind. She wasn't leaving this house until she could walk three feet without groaning like one of the dead.
"That or if you think you're up to it, hitting one of the big stores like a Walmart."
"Those are the first places people raided. We ain't gonna find no water there." Romeo's statement had zero tact and the girl looked at him for a second like she was ready to put him in his place. I actually wouldn't have minded seeing that, I was sick of being the main target for her feminist fury.
I could have sworn I heard her mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "I'm not that blonde." But the irritation in her expression faded into something more caught between amusement and resignation before she replied. "Well no, but no one would have been thinking to take those big garbage cans with the wheels. And if there aren't too many walkers there's tons of stuff that people overlooked as weapons."
When she mentioned the large chain store I thought she was just throwing ideas out like the rest of us. Sure, it could work, but in reality it wasn't going to happen. The places were nothing but giant death traps now, littered with bodies that could potentially eat you, and so much open air every footstep echoed. They were always picked clean of anything useful, anyway, that even trying wasn't worth it. "Amoureux, what weapons could possibly make it worth it?" Connor didn't look happy, but what did he want? Me just never to talk to the girl again? I wasn't the only one who'd been an ass and it wasn't like I was calling her an idiot, I was honestly curious. What all had we overlooked assuming there would be nothing.
"Knitting needles for one. They're very light and if you lose them it's no big deal. And if we're really expecting company here ya can't go wrong with a few bags of fertilizer." She was smiling now, with a far off look, and I couldn't help but wonder for the thousandth time where her mind took her. This time it was a happy place at least, I couldn't stand to see her shoulders slump, her skin pale, and the utter despair and hopelessness make her eyes look dead inside when the thoughts weren't so pleasant. It was like a rusty knife to the gut and it was bad enough she got it, even just for a second, when she looked at me.
I didn't want to be the one to admit I had no clue what help fertilizer would be though. Connor was looking at Duffy like he knew the answer but he looked just as lost as we were. Romeo was the only one who seemed to have any clue and was laughing his ass off. Since I was closer it was my turn to smack him.
Connor was about to say something when his mouth snapped shut and comprehension lit his face. It went from understanding to impressed awe before giving Beth a dangerous smile. "Ye know yer shit. Literally. I can' believe none of us thought'a tha' back in Boston. Would have been damned useful too."
Whatever the fuck could make my brother look that happy talking about unconventional weapons had to be good. What a fuckin' shame I still don' know what that is! Duffy was still lost with me and looked just as curious.
Looking at Beth again I could practically watch the confidence in her whole body language growing with Connors exited babble about where to put what to do the most damage. It made a dramatic difference and I could tell no matter how well she was able to defend her independence with us, she was in no way ok with everything that had happened to her.
Her smile reached her eyes now and they were practically glowing. Her shoulders were straight, but not stiff like they were when she was being defensive. Her accent was just a touch heavier and her tone just a little softer, her words sounded like warm, thick hunny, slow and sweet. I'd never been the poetic brother and even thinking the words made me feel like an idiot but it was the only comparison I could make. We were looking at the real Beth, who she would have been if the world hadn't gone crazy. She had walked, and talked, and smiled and done everything she was doing right now before but there hadn't been any life in it. No one else seemed to notice the changes and I wasn't going to be the one to point it out and have her back to the way she'd been.
I must have been staring for too long, her hand gently touching mine made me realize she was calling my name, and probably had been for a bit if Conns weird look was anything to go on. "Aye? Sorry just tryin' ta think of anythin' else we didn' think of."
Connor sounded like there was nothing wrong when he continued but I could see the warning in his eyes. Don't freak her out. "Fertilizer's explosive. We're about out of tha C4 an' na alot of people would think twice walkin' by bags a Miracle Grow. It would actually be worth it if tha place in't overrun."
Beth's hand was still on top of mine, nearly weightless, just a barely there warmth that was more distracting then I cared to admit. "Then I say we hit tha nearest whatever-mart in tha mornin'. We might as well go car shoppin' while we're out too."
Duffy started rifling through the stack of maps we had for the state before Romeo proved, again, he was with us for more than comedic relief. "Fuck another car man. Lets' just go jack a u-haul trailer. There was a movin' place like ten minutes down the road."
I hadn't seen that look on Duffy's face since the last time Smecker pointed out the obvious in his "You're not really that stupid, are you?" voice. Come to think of it I didn't miss that voice. "We should pick it up on our way out tomorrow, it'll make things faster to load." It was another good idea. We hadn't tried for one of the mega chains since the early days of the outbreak. The place could be completely empty or untouched. Trying to guess what was left to make a list was going to be interesting.
Beth's tiny fingers twitched on top of my hand and with how close she was I could see her chewing the inside of her cheek. With as often as she put her foot down when she claimed we were "hovering" I'd say she was nervous to speak up now. Flipping my hand over I gave hers a questioning squeeze, trying to ask without calling attention to her again. She shrugged just enough that I didn't miss it but she wasn't looking at me or anyone else, just somewhere between Connor and the door.
I wasn't expecting her to go quiet now and had no idea what to do. She was fine just a few minutes ago, showing all of us up, coming up with the only two plans that would have actually worked. What the hell happened? We were going with her plan, Shit we even put knittin' needles on tha shopping list fer Christ's sake. And then it clicked. The planning was done, we were talking about what to grab while we were there now. She was fine as long it was just throwing ideas out, and now I'd bet my last cigarette she was nervous to ask us to grab something specific for her.
Romeo was talking about hitting the electronics section to see what kind of wires were left and Conn and Duffy were debating about splitting up if things weren't too bad. "We should check tha woman's clothes too. Now yer awake we can grab ye a pair of pants that fit." I saw Connor studying Beth now. I could feel the question in the air, what am I missing? "We haven' made a run with a female in mind in a while have we Conn. Ye should probably just make us a list so we don' miss anythin'." The grip on my hand tightened and I knew I'd guessed right. Connor nodded, understanding she wasn't comfortable asking outright. He looked about as pleased as I felt about her selective shyness.
"We should all stock up on clothes now. It's got to get colder sooner or later and everything I've gots so holey it should be in a church." Duffy humor, haha.
Beth was yawning not long later and before I could offer to take her upstairs she rearranged herself to lay on her good side and gestured to my lap with her head. I wasn't going to tell her no, and seconds later her eyes were closed and face peaceful. I worried that she still slept as much as she was, barely able to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time, and didn't want to disturb her by trying to move her to the bed upstairs if she was comfortable.
Under the worry though I was even happier than I expected that she was willing to be so familiar with me after days of watching the barely there flinch when I got close. I'd give her credit, she was subtle; to the point I was sure only Connor and I even noticed it. It helped, and it didn't, realizing it was likely because I reminded her of someone. I couldn't tell if the Daryl she mentioned had hurt her or if being reminded of losing him was what caused her hesitation with me but this was the first time she had willingly put herself that close to me since introducing herself when she first woke up. She'd casually touched the others, and never made a fuss when it was me, but the hesitation was still there and I was happy to be seeing it go.
Eventually we all agreed there would be no way to come up with a set list and to just rank the importance of sections and attack in grids. It would take longer but was the only way we could be sure nothing was sneaking up on us. We'd syphon gas from as many cars as we could out in the lot before actually trying for anything on the inside. With the extra room the trailer would give us we weren't overly worried about over stocking and getting gas now would save us a lot of walking later down the road.
It wasn't even dark yet when we finalized the plan and ran out of anything to talk about. Since starting South we'd had to be silent more often than not and it wasn't usually so oppressive. Rome was twitching spectacularly, trying not to be the first one to open up the Beth topic while Conn and Duff just steady stared me down. She was still out and had wrapped her arms around my leg in her sleep and was holding on tightly, ensuring I wasn't going anywhere soon.
I would have bet money Rome would have been the first to break but Connor beat him to it. "She's looking awfully comfy there Murph." He had the same shit eating grin he had on New Years' Eve the year I'd been chatting up Shannon Kelly, who'd been so drunk by midnight she'd vomited seconds after kissing me.
"Just goes ta prove 'er tastes improving. She was bound ta get tired of ye sooner or later Conn."
"I thought I was her favorite?" Duffy looked nearly as amused as the other two, it was going to be a three on one fight to get them to shut up.
"You want ta be tha livin' pillow?"
Romeo's hand shot into the air, "Oh oh! Me! I didn't know we got to volunteer. You were bein' a dick anyway."
If Beth hadn't been so wrapped around me I'd have kicked him, so I had to settle for a single finger salute. "Fuck you Pepe. I wasn' being a dick, I just wasn' being not a dick. She was up an' screamin', what tha fuck was I ta think?"
"Well ye shouldn'ta yelled at 'er that's fer damn sure!"
"Fuck you too. Tha only reason ye get ta say anythin's cause I opened my mouth before ye."
"Whatever. She doesn' seem ta care now anyway, all snuggled up an' such."
I should 'ave just taken 'er upstairs. At least then I could have stayed in the room with her and avoided Connors knowing smirk. Bastard knew I'd been twisting in the wind waiting for the little blonde to move past her hesitancy around me, and her position now was a big deal for me. "If ye have a problem with it move 'er yerself."
Connor kept smiling but didn't move to dislodge her. "It'll be more fun ta watch ye try an' get tha leg back yerself in tha mornin'."
Duffy interjected before Rome could add his two cents. "If the two of you are done fighting over her like a couple of dogs with a bone? Have any of you taken a look at her list?"
The way he asked about the list had me curious, he sounded like he found whatever she wrote amusing. Connor was shaking his head and Rome had already snatched the paper towel she'd written everything she wanted on and was starting to look a little red in the face. "Not it!"
"Ye can' call not it. Grids remember. It can' be tha' bad. What? She want a romance novel or somethin'?" Connors optimism was funny, whatever had our Mexican turning that shade of pink was more than just a mushy book.
"No, you cocksucker. She's got tampons on here though man and a fuckin' bra! I don't want to know what the fuck kinda underwear she's got on!"
He was starting to get loud and Connor noticed as quickly as I did when she shifted restlessly. "Keep yer shit fit down La Bomba. If it's on tha list we're gettin' it so quit bitchin' before ye wake 'er up." It wasn't my brothers finest insult but it shut Romeo up quickly and Beth didn't move again so I wouldn't give him shit for the uncreative comment.
It made sense that she'd need those thing and we would have never thought of them for her. I still couldn't figure out why it had been such a big deal for her to ask for it though, surely she'd had to ask for similar things in the past. I wanted to believe it was just because she'd not been with us long but figured my luck couldn't possibly be that good.
The sweet smell of everything she made was still lingering in the air. "Hey is there any cookin' shit on there?" She couldn't possibly want to get by with just what we had, which was next to nothing.
"Yea. She's got another pot on here and a cutting board. For real? This house don't have that shit?"
Duffy, who'd been the one to go through the kitchen area, shook his head. "It looks like whoever lived here packed up everything they owned. I'm surprised she found the cookie sheet, I couldn't find a spoon. But that can't be all she wants."
Romeo must have stopped reading the list when he saw the personal products, he was looking back down scanning the towel quickly. "A peeler, plastic zipper bags, a skillet, and a whisk. That's it. The rest is the clothes and other stuff." The face he made when he said 'other' was a cross between horror and embarrassment.
Duffy chose to overlook his drama and looked concerned. "That's not a lot. Nothing personal-."
"Fucking tampons!"
Duff reached over and smacked him in the back of the head glaring at him. "Didn't someone just tell you to keep it down? It's not that personal, we had to get them for the girls back home all the time so just shut up about it or you'll make her feel bad." I glanced down to make sure she was still asleep and not listening to Rome complain. Her breathing was still deep and even and her face was just as peaceful. She already had problems asking for things, hearing the idiot freak out over something so stupid wouldn't make things better. "And I meant things like books or crafts of some sort. Besides the clothes nothing else is just for her."
Conn caught my eye and looked purposefully at the girl in my lap. "Yesli oni ne vidyat yego , chto eto ne nashe mesto, chtoby skazat' im." (Russian: If they don't see it it's not our place to tell them.)
"Romeo dolzhen perestat' zhalovat'sya . Chto, yesli ona slyshit yego?" (Russian: Romeo needs to stop complaining. What if she hears him?)
"Hey motherfucker, I heard my name! Fuck you both in the ass with a rusty pole."
Connor just ignored the outburst and I pointed the nearest weapon at him, a serrated hunting knife, my threat clear. Duffy didn't look any happier about our lack of sharing but probably knew he wouldn't get anywhere if we really didn't want to say and wasn't willing to chance the headache. "Yesli vy skazhite, chto on poluchit lyubopytno. Nachnite zadavat' voprosy ona mogla ne khochu otvechat' . Ona sdelala svoy punkt o vozmozhnosti obrabatyvat' sebya , no yesli ona dazhe ne khochu poprosit' bol'she odezhdy ona, veroyatno, boleye khrupkiye , to ona khochet priznat'sya." (Russian: If you tell him he'll get curious. Start asking questions she might not want to answer. She's made her point about being able to handle herself but if she didn't even want to ask for more clothes she's probably more fragile then she wants to admit.)
I looked down at the mass of wavy blonde hair spread across my lap and wished I could just ask the girl what she wanted. Connor was right though, and I wasn't going to let Romeo bug her and make whatever it was worse. "She probably thinks we'd be grabbin' tha' kind of stuff anyway. Tha book sections are always close ta tha front, won' be hard ta just grab what's there."
Rome seemed satisfied that the matter was closed but Duffy didn't look as convinced. He didn't say anything but he was looking between me and Conn like he knew we were hiding something. It wasn't hard to figure that though and if he didn't speak up before I was confident he wouldn't now.
The whole thing had effectively killed the teasing mood though and it was silently agreed that we could all use the sleep before tomorrow. I got lucky and pulled the long straw so I wouldn't have to be on watch tonight and tried to make myself as comfortable as I could without disturbing Beth. As soon as I shifted though her arms let go of my leg and wound around my waist, pulling herself closer to me and burrowing her face into my side. I thought I might have heard a soft "Don't leave." but couldn't be sure. Connor was just looking at the two of us with a serious expression. Maybe she's na tha only one keepin' secrets.
Whatever it was wasn't worth dealing with Romeo being angry over another conversation he wouldn't understand so I planned to corner him later. For now I moved Beth's hair from her face so she wouldn't suffocate and wrapped an arm around her loosely before closing my eyes, trying to ignore the lead brick in my gut at the thought of leaving her alone again the next day.
Connor was right. The next morning I had to practically peel Beth off of me. Sometime during the night we'd managed to shift so that she was laying half on top of me, one of her slim legs between mine. One of her arms had even made it beneath my shirt and her thumb was lightly rubbing directly over my heart. It hadn't been a problem until she'd stretched in her sleep and her whole body pushed against me. The last thing I wanted was for her to wake up and feel the after effects of her unintentional caress. Conn had about laughed his ass off when she woke up enough to tell me she'd wake up in five more minutes.
I wasn't the only quiet one in the car when we left shortly after. We'd left her with plenty of full ammo clips, just in case, and a worn crime novel Duffy had managed to dig out that I didn't recognize. She actually had given us each a hug before leaving, for luck she'd said. When she got to me she'd blushed and whispered a quiet thank you before letting me go. Connor had watched with the same expression from the night before and I got the distinct feeling I had missed something. His parting "We'll be back." made me think back to her quiet "Don't leave." The night before and the lead feeling only got worse, so I resolved to ignore it all for now and just focus on the run.
Breaking into the storage center was easy and the trailers were nearly untouched so we had our pick. Getting the lock off the hitch of the medium sized trailer had proven to be the most challenging part of the whole goal. We made it in and out without seeing a single walker.
The nearest super center was actually a Walmart only about ten miles away from our temporary home. The lot was barricaded off and there were military vehicles and tents covering half the black top. The other half was crowded with cars and through all of it I could see heads moving slowly through the wreckage.
There weren't nearly as many dead ones as I'd been expecting and it wasn't until Duffy pointed out the broken barricades on the other side of the lot that I relaxed a little. They'd probably mostly escaped through there in search of food. With how few we could see it was decided Connor and Rome would search around the tents for anything the elements hadn't totally destroyed while Duff and I syphoned gas. It was a tedious job that literally left a bad taste in my mouth but stocking up was just the smart thing to do now that we had the room. Why tha hell didn' we think of a trailer sooner?
We'd left the house before dawn and made good time getting the u-haul but it was still nearly noon by the time we all met back up at the car. The sun was high and the Georgia heat felt like it was cooking me alive on the black top. Romeo backed the SUV straight up to the doors and we made sure all the doors were open for easy access in case things went FUBAR.
The interior of the store was trashed, with entire checkout isle's toppled over and random items thrown on the floor. There was gang graffiti covering every exposed wall and a pile of bodies nearly 15 feet long stacked 8-10 bodies high in one of the seasonal sections up front. I couldn't hear any moaning or groaning though and said a quick prayer that the entire situation wasn't some horrible "too good to be true" situation.
We started towards the home maintenance section to pick up the trash cans first so we could use them to haul anything we found. Beth was right, the section was a mess but almost nothing was missing. We only passed five walkers along the way that were easily taken care of and I finally started feeling a little better about the plan. Electronics and the food section were more picked over, but there was still plenty left lying around and there were only another handful or two of dead waiting.
Moving slowly isle by isle was nerve wracking at best and with every step I cringed at the echo it caused. The clothes section was just as messed up as the rest of the store and it took a while to find anything in Beth's size. The men's wasn't as bad but the selection was more 'summery' and men didn't wear sweaters over everything so there wasn't much for us to grab for ourselves.
We had to pass the tiny book section on the way to home goods and we all just threw anything with an interesting cover in a can. Home goods and crafts was another gold mine. Knitting needles were at the top of the list and there were tons of them, there were still candles on the shelf and we were able to grab the kitchen things Beth asked for. We grabbed some of the heavier blankets, and all the towels we could find. There was almost an isle full of the small to large kitchen towels that nearly half filled one of the cans. Romeo disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a portable shower kit. Looking at Duffy and Connor I knew none of us had thought to get one, Beth would be sure to appreciate it.
The personal care section looked like a bomb had been set off, shelves knocked down, floor slick with various hair products. For all of Rome's bitching about tampons he showed he was the thoughtful one again when he grabbed the last of the conditioner bottles and any ladies razors he could find. Connor added a few packages of hair ties and Duffy threw in a hand mirror and a box of hair dye. I didn't want to risk talking and he shrugged off my questioning gestures. Since none of them seemed like they'd be getting to the feminine hygiene section any time soon I went ahead and grabbed every box left on the shelf, she could figure out what she wanted herself.
Duffy and Rome went to check the pharmacy and came back with only a few bottles of aspirin and some band aids. Connor took point going into the garden section and no sooner then he'd stuck his head around the corner than he pulled it back and motioned us back. "There's a good few dozen in there. If we can get around them an' draw them ta tha plant section there should be a gate."
Fuck. If there was a way to do this without using bullets we had to at least try it, but at best the plan was dangerous, if not straight out suicidal. Romeo was our fastest runner and he was already unloading any unnecessary weight that would slow him down. "We should have a second runner. Take tha outsides an' come back up tha middle. Rome, go left, I'll take tha right." He nodded that he understood and I started stripping out of anything the dead could latch onto and double checked my clips didn't need to be changed out.
Duffy was looking hard at the trash cans. He signaled us to wait and went off back into the maintenance section and came back with can lids and held one in front of him like a shield before giving one to Romeo and I. I nodded my thanks, anything to keep the dead out of knawing reach.
Romeo and I took our own cautious looks around the corner to get a layout of where we'd need to be running. It was going to be tight, but with two of us drawing them to different sides there shouldn't be too much of a pile up. Conn and Duffy had silenced guns out and ready while Rome went with a machete. I'd try and stick to my bowie knife and hope someone with a gun's aim didn't go wide.
As soon as we were around the corner heads were turning in our direction, milky eyes finding food and launching the mass of bodies towards us. I cut through the patio furniture to get to the far wall as they got more frenzied. Romeo was already on the move for the separate plant area with close to probably thirty on his heels, tripping over each other in a snarling mass of starving excitement. One slamming into a chair right behind me had me moving even faster to put some distance between me and my own entourage of the damned.
A meaty decayed hand caught the back of my shirt and I turned, thrusting up with the knife, into the fleshy underside of what would have been the chin of a very large woman, if it hadn't already been torn out. She went down and I had to scramble and use my trash lid to get some distance from another half dozen that swarmed sensing a weakness. Two went down in a spray of blood as bullets burst through the front of their skulls and I was able to catch up to Romeo going through the aisles of plants. I caught sight of Connor and Duffy waiting at the gates, already having them mostly closed.
We were halfway back to the gate when a face popped out from under the counter behind Connor. I'd fired the bullet before it fully registered I had the gun in my hand, and then we were sliding through the fence and it was being slammed shut and jammed behind us. Barely seconds later the bodies of the dead crashed into the steel, arms reaching through the holes, peeling flesh from the bone trying to get at the meal we presented.
They were making a lot of noise so we got to work quickly. Bags of fertilizer completely filled one bin, and Duff was busy filling another one with bags of charcoal still sitting on a forklift. A sharp whistle from Rome told us we were out of time, the fence was going to give.
Making it back to the car felt almost anti-climactic. For all of us being so sure sticking to small storefronts was the way to go the mega store had provided more in a few hours then we usually found in a week. Having only the one large group of walkers to deal with I'd actually call the run easy.
It took less than ten minutes to make it back to the house and before we even headed towards the door Connor grabbed one of the axes and started to the fire hydrant a few lots down. Duffy was right behind him with a stack of cans ready to be filled.
Romeo waved over to me and pointed up to the house. "Hey, I'm gonna start getting this shit inside. We aughta bust a few holes in the trailer too if were gonna keep the gas in there. Stuffs strong enough to burn your eyebrows off in there."
I waved him off and stuck my head in storage container, quickly pulling back. He was right, without more ventilation it was just going to be an explosion waiting to happen. We'd have to let it air out before trying to open up any holes though, otherwise the tearing metal could spark and send it all up in smoke. I grabbed the second stack of empty cans and went to help Conn try and break open the hydrant. No matter what it was going to be loud and we were going to have to move quick.
All together we had about a dozen cans left over for the water and once it started flowing they were filled up quickly. Taking two cans each we were on the second trip when I could just make out movement at the end of the street. Getting through the door I looked for Beth by the fireplace where we'd left her in the morning and felt my heart skip when she wasn't there. And then I was assaulted by a panicked ball of gold, hands moving my head this way and that way, skimming over my arms and chest. She even went so far as to try and spin me around. "What the hell Romeo! You said no one was hurt!"
She was worried about me! It was only then I noticed I was soaked with blood and understood why. "It's na mine, no need ta worry. Just got a little too close ta a bleeder." She didn't look any less worried and I felt slightly guilty for the warm feeling in my chest seeing it.
Romeo was nearly upside down digging through one of the cans and Conn had to jump and steady it when he shifted to hard. "You should be nicer to the guy who got you a portable shower thing, maybe I won't share now?" When he emerged he tossed the package at her and I grabbed it before she tried to catch it.
I was prepaired for another "I can do it myself" argument but she just smiled up at me before rounding on Rome. "Well you should be nicer to the girl who cooked you dinner. I'd say maybe I won't share but I'm just not that mean." The nearly silent sniffle was perfectly timed and Romeo's face filled with horror and panic.
"Aw shit, it was just a joke. Common please? Please don't cry."
I wasn't able to see Beth's face, being behind her, but Duffy and Conn both started laughing and Rome looked like he'd been kicked in the balls. "See, I can joke too."
"Not mean my ass! Crying's cheating."
"You say cheating, I say winning creatively." Her slim shoulder moved in a shrug and with that she walked off into the kitchen.
Duffy was right behind her and stopped dead in the doorway. "Is that spaghetti?"
I caught Connors eye and we both pushed past the man. "Move it or 'm eating yer share." It was an empty threat but Duff was at the counter before we were and Rome was right behind us. Sitting in the pot was a pile of what looked like ramen noodles topped with red sauce. The tomatoes smelled fragrant and I could see onion and green flecks in the red. If it tasted even half as good as it smelled Beth was going to be my new personal hero.
Before I was able to spoon any into a bowl waiting off to the side she pulled the pot away and made a 'tsk'ing sound. "It's not done just yet, I still have tomatoes roasting in the oven. You can have some of the apple sauce from last night though. Speaking of, was there any tupperware left for me to pour it into? It won't stay good long out like that."
We all nodded at the same time causing her to smile and shake her head. It wasn't our fault we were looking forward to another real meal that was more than just a can of heated hash or beans. "Well if dinners na done 'm just goin' ta go get tha blood out. Someone better come get me when it is though."
I didn't bother waiting for a reply; the fresh blood was helping to bring out the other funky smells clinging to me and while I could stand it there was no point when I could take an actual shower. Someone, probably Rome, had already dragged a full can of water into the larger of the two bathrooms on the first floor so I only had to grab "cleaner" clothes and the straight razor we used whenever we couldn't stand the extra hair anymore.
Stripping down I was happy we grabbed more clothing while we could. Even if it wouldn't be enough for the coming cold, what I had on wasn't worth saving and having backup pants had become a luxury we hadn't bothered with in months.
Trimming down the wild tangle my hair had become and taking out most of my beard left my head feeling pounds lighter. Actually seeing my whole face looking back at me from the mirror was something I didn't get to see often anymore and I was shocked I almost didn't recognize myself. Maybe Beth had a point about tha scruffiness. The razor was just as sharp as it always was and cut good and close, even if my hair was a little uneven.
The water was room temperature and the pressure from the hose was pathetic and I still couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so good. It took three and a half bag fulls of water before what was going down the drain stopped being pink and I decided it wouldn't be a waste to start using the soap. I felt like I was peeling my own skin off but the dirt was slowly letting go. I wouldn't admit it to her if you held a gun to my head but Beth had been right. Being truly clean again, for the first time in weeks, felt amazing.
It felt so good in fact my next two bags of water I just let pour over my head. It might have been a waste but I wouldn't blame anyone else if they did the same. The first wash of soap through my hair though went down the drain a dark brown, and the second and third weren't much better. I had my eyes closed in the middle of scrubbing the soap in the fourth time when I heard the door click open and Beth's surprised "Oh!"
She was in the doorway, face a deep red, and looking anywhere but at me. It was actually kind of cute how flustered she was. "Couldn' wait yer turn?"
She was so red it looked like it should have burned. She opened and closed her mouth several times before anything actually came out. "Umm n-no. Ya wanted someone to… uh… come and get ya though…the-the foods ready!" It was barely more than a squeak by the end and she fled the room almost before she was done.
Well tha' was fun. My ego had never needed help before but her reaction was like a cherry on top of a very good day. The water was still murky when I rinsed again but there was real food waiting and I was already cleaner then I'd been in weeks so I didn't bother trying to go back and do it again.
Skipping the towel entirely I just shook the extra water off a bit before getting dressed. The jeans and t-shirt clung a little close and Beth blushed as soon as I entered the kitchen and looked away again before pushing a full bowl to me.
"Fuck, I forgot what ye looked like under all tha'. How's it feel ta be clean?" Conn was already running a hand through his beard thoughtfully, eyeing his still half full bowl as though he'd stop eating and go shave down.
"It's fuckin' weird. Took damn near tha whole can before tha water'd run clear."
Duffy was scratching at his own beard while Rome ignored everything but his bowl. "We might as well use the water while we've got the chance. Who knows how long it'll be before we have this much again."
Beth's head shot up and she looked between her bowl and the doorway a few times. "Ya know what? I had one of those power bars for lunch and I'm just not that hungry. Why don't I just go clean up while ya'll finish eating? Less of a wait that way… Were there any clothes in those cans for me?"
Romeo was in the middle of his last mouthful and jumped up heading into the main room, Beth trailing behind. After my first bite I knew why he'd been done so quickly. The sauce completely masked the tasteless noodles. It was sweet and juicy, and I'm not sure how but it tasted warm. I'd have said smokey but it just didn't cover it and warm was the only thing my brain was willing to accept.
No one broke the comfortable silence as we ate, content to just enjoy the flavorful meal and bask in the days productivity. We may have stopped moving but we hadn't been this flush with supplies in a long while and it was a relief not to have to worry about how we were going to find our next meal.
Eventually though all of our bowls were empty and there was only cleanup left. Duffy had dug out the storage containers for the remaining food and with Rome, Connor and I all doing the dishes they were done and dry in just a few minutes. We still had to go through and organize everything we'd brought back today and we had a good half dozen or more cans full to keep us busy.
The work was boring as hell after the all-day tension trying to get all of it but had to be done. We couldn't keep spending five minutes getting to the bottom of one just for a box of matches. Two of the cans at least were nothing but fertilizer and charcoal that didn't have to be unloaded. It was just my fantastic luck that I picked the can I'd dumped two dozen or more tampon boxes on. Looking at them all now I realized it might embarrass her and wondered what the hell I could do to get rid of some of them without looking like a total idiot. Beneath the boxes were stacks of books that I threw to the pile the others had started from their bins. I was nearly to the next layer of stuff when a very feminine "Fuck!" echoed through the room.
Duffy was the first one to the door surprisingly, banging on it while calling out. "Beth! Are you ok?!" When she didn't answer he started banging harder. "Beth if you don't answer we're coming in!" There was only silence on the other side of the door and he took a step back getting ready to kick the door in when it opened.
She stood there dripping wet wrapped up in a towel. Her eyes were clenched tightly closed and her face was pinched in pain. There was blood soaking through the towel and dripping down her bare leg. I pushed past Duffy and picked her up as gently as I could. "Get tha stiches Duff. Was there anythin' stronger then what she's already been takin'?"
He was already on his way to the pack full of medical supplies while Connor and Rome cleared the area for somewhere flat to lay her. I saw her lips moving and I leaned closer to make out what she was saying and even then I couldn't make it out. Whatever it was she was repeating herself, her lips making the same words over and over.
Duffy had a vile full of clear fluid I assumed would be the painkiller ready to go when I set her down. Thankfully the cut was mostly clean already, and we could see the numerous broken threads. I still half held her as Connor and Duffy got to work pulling the useless sutures out and pouring alcohol over the wound. I could feel every flinch she gave, grateful as they lessened in severity as the drugs kicked in. One of her hands was clutching my shirt while the other had a death grip on one of my arms that didn't weaken even against the drugs.
It only took about twenty minutes to have her patched up but it felt like hours as she clung to me a steady stream of tears pouring down her face. Connor and Duffy had her blood covering their arms like some sick second skin so Romeo went and grabbed her clothes back out of the bathroom and followed me up the stairs to the room she'd stayed in the other night. He was quick to leave when I started to pull the towel completely off her to dress her.
Getting her into her clothes was made easier thanks to her choice of mismatching sweat pants and baggy tank top. She was still half awake and tried to help but didn't seem to have the energy to do much more then lift her arms a few inches before it became too much. I could feel a familiar rage building with every tear she shed, a rage that had no place in the room with her and I had to viciously shove aside till I could go kill something. If tha' motherfucker weren't already dead I'd kill 'im with my bare hands.
I didn't want to leave the room now that she was dressed, but I didn't want to risk her picking up on the anger that was like a vibrating hum under my skin. Better to just let her rest. Before I made it to the door her softly whispered "Please don't leave." stopped me dead. Her voice was weak and slurred and she was struggling to sit up, like she'd get up and stop me from leaving herself.
I moved quickly back to the bed and tried to get her to lay back down. "Yer ok Beth. I won' go anywhere." Her hand made a grab for me and I caught it in my own. "No one's goin' anywhere. It's probably just the drugs getting you scared."
"No it's not the drugs. Everyone leaves, like I told Connor. Everyone leaves and then you're alone. I should have listened when ya told me I was doin' too much. Brian told me to be careful. I just lifted the bag and it felt like I was on fire... I should have just listened..."
Of course now she wants ta agree with me now tha' I feel like a ass about it. "Ná éisteacht le dom. Tá mé ar dick agus an raibh an ceart agat, bhí mé míréasúnta. (Irish: Don't listen to me. I'm a dick and you were right, I was unreasonable.) None of this is yer fault, do ye hear me Beth? An' no one's leavin' anyone. I bet Connor told ye the same."
"He doesn't know what he's talkin' about." She had to stop to yawn and I took the opportunity and shifted a little lower. Her arms moved to circle my waist and she buried her face in my chest. "He said ya don't leave people. But I have. I had a list somewhere... I'd have to add Daryl and everyone else to it now... I left them all instead of stayin' and fightin'."
The night before flashed back to me. Her quiet plea not to leave, just like tonight's. Connor serious expression, probably thinking back to his own conversation with her. "'M sure if stayin' would have helped ye would have. Ye can't leave tha dead behind, they're already gone."
She was quiet for a moment, and I thought maybe she'd fallen to sleep, when she lifted her head and locked eyes with me. There was so much pain in her's I'd have promised her the moon and sun to see it go. "Daryl was alive. Maggie was alive. Rick was alive. I know I'm drugged but I know what I'm sayin'. Connor told me I was a good person and he was wrong about that too. I'm a coward. I don't want to be alone..."
No fuckin' wonder Conn didn' tell me about this. What could I say? "Yer not alone. An' I don' care if ye don' believe me, we're na leavin' ye fer nothin'. Lo non ti lascerò, anche nella morte. Solo gli sciocchi abbandonano angeli." (Italian: I will not leave you, even in death. Only fools forsake angels.)
She had yet to break eye contact, but hers were becoming unfocused and hazy. "I don' what that means. Why do ya'll keep doin' that?"
"Doin' what?"
"Sayin' things so I can't understand."
Good things couldn't last. She was bound to ask eventually. "Can' say for my brother, but there are some things 'm only be able ta say because ye don' understand. I don' want ta scare ye."
Her eyes were barely open now and I could literally watch the struggle it was to keep them that way. "Why would it scare me?"
Telling her would defeat the purpose altogether, but I didn't want to lie either. "Because tha truth, even if it's good, can be scary if yer na ready for it. Go ta sleep now, I can tell yer tired."
When she frowned it was more of a pout and I had to hold myself back from smoothing out the little lines it caused above her eyes. "I hate these drugs. I don't wanna sleep. What if I wake up and your all a dream, and I'm still there and they're still alive?"
Jesus! The girl was walking around terrified we didn't exist! How tha fuck did we not notice this?! "I don' know what ta say... What can I do ta prove 'm real?"
"Stay...just stay. And if you're here when I wake up... then I'll know..."
Holy... we left 'er ta wake up alone. Tha's why Rome scared 'er so easy, why she came down at all. As if I hadn't already been feeling like an ass about the whole other morning, knowing it was my own fault for leaving her caused something in my chest to twist painfully. "I'll be here. I'll be here every mornin' ye want me ta be."
She gave me what could pass as a smile before her eyes finally closed. Her breathing evened out almost immediately and I was left awake to deal with the aftermath the conversation caused in me.
~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD~TBS~TWD
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