AN: Hey guys! I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but to make up for it I have a seriously LONG post for you. I'm talking like 6000 words. So have fun reading this one, it is filled with a bunch of exciting things! Please review and tell me what you think, I really want to hear from you, seeing as I am partly writting it for you!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing but this plot and a few select characters, the rest belongs to the talented and wonderful Richelle Mead.
Rhonda had seemed strangely urgent throughout the readings. She began with Lissa and worked her way around the circle, becoming increasingly agitated as my prediction approached. Everyone else's cards had been pretty straight forward, predicting change and power, along with love and travelling, but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach, telling me that I wouldn't be as fortunate.
We had come full circle and it was now my turn for a reading, and it seemed although the room had gone quiet and tense. Lissa starred at me with an unreadable expression, while Rhonda thrust the cards at me as a signal to cut the deck. After the deck had been cut, she laid out three cards, and I bit my lip as I gazed at what my future held.
The tower. The four of cups. The ten of cups.
The tower was a picture of a tower (duh) with two people falling from it, the tower had been struck by lightening and was on fire. Over all the card didn't seem very cheerful. The four of cups was a picture of a boy sitting under a tree, with his arms crossed with three cups in from of him, while the fourth cup was being offered to him. The card didn't appear to be harmful, but I knew ten of cups was a cheerful card. A couple stood together with their arms wrapped around once another, starring at a rainbow while children played nearby. I would've been relieved about the joyful card, except for the fact that it was turned upside down. Not a good looked at the cards for a moment, gathering whatever voodoo type information they were telling her, and then pointed to the first once and looked at me. I could tell from the look in her eyes that whatever predictions the cards held for me, weren't very good ones.
"The tower. It brings with it disruption, conflict and change. A sudden or violent loss and overthrow of existing way of life. Major changes are about to come your way, unless they've already began, and will disrupt well worn routines of life. Leaving ruin and disturbance along with dramatic upheaval. Widespread repercussion of actions, you will see just how much your choices affect others, but in the end comes enlightenment." She told me in a monotone voice, and at that moment I wanted to kick her. I knew she wasn't responsible for what the cards told her, but couldn't she show a little sympathy for my dark future. Besides I had to go through all that pain, torture and change and in the end the only thing I come out with is enlightenment? Seriously.
"The four of cups. It's time to re-evaluate an all too familiar environment. You will dwell on past experiences with apathy, love turns familiar, happiness reaches it's peak. You will re-establish family." Rhonda informed me, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I could've gotten that answer from a horoscope, it was probably the most broad prediction ever. Besides, that was always expected whenever moving somewhere new, or returning back home.
"The ten of cups. Usually it means lasting happiness and security, along with a good reputation and honour. True friendship and a happy family life, perfect love and concord between people. A search for fulfillment is marked with success." She told me, while I nodded my head along slowly, starring at the cheerful card.
"But since it's reversed…" I trailed off, knowing that it meant all of those good qualities would now become the opposite. Meaning that all of the crap about true friendship and having a happy family life was about to screw me over.
"Since it's reversed it brings the manipulation of society for personal gain. The loss of friendship, family quarrels, along with a sudden violent disruption. Anti-social actions and new routines." Rhonda told me solemnly, and I took in all of the information that she just gave me, and considered what all of the cards meant.
Conflict. Change. Violence. Loss.
It wasn't so different from the last prediction I'd received, and that's what scarred me the most. I didn't want to have a repeat of Europe, I didn't want to lose any of my friends or family. I didn't want to experience this type of pain anymore.
"Any chance I can exchange my reading?" I asked, trying to make a joke to hide my discomfort about the cards. Rhonda starred at the cards for a few moments in silence, before picking them up and reshuffling them.
"Afraid not." She told me and I stood shaking my head, not knowing what else to say. My friends followed, thanking Rhonda as they made their way into the small waiting room. The card's meaning continued to swirl around in my brain, while I took slow steps towards the exit.
"Rose." Rhonda called as my hand closed around the doorknob, I turned numbly to face her. Rhonda's face was blank, but I could see the sympathy in her eyes as she spoke, she knew how terrified I was. "Just because I predicted pain and struggle in your future does not mean that it will end that way. You have the power to change your future, to mould it into whatever you want. The cards just told me about the path that you are on now, and what would happen if you continue following it." She told me and I just nodded mutely, muttering a thank you as I walked into the waiting room.
"Not the reading you'd hoped for?" Ambrose asked, and I just glared at him, unsure of what else to do. My friends were talking about something in hushed voices, not taking notice in how shaken up I was, and for that I was thankful. I didn't want them to know how freaked out I was.
"Not exactly, but I should've expected it by now. All my readings turn out badly." I sighed, thinking of a million different adjectives to use instead of bad. The predictions were turning around in my mind, and the only thing I could do to push them out of my brain, was to be judgemental about it. If I criticized the reading, and told myself that there was a possibility of it being faulty and untrue, then the weight of the prediction would be lifted. If I focused on all of the flaws in the reading, then it would become bearable.
The rest of the day was uneventful, and it passed by in a haze. After the spa, we had gone for a late lunch at one of the court's restaurants. While the girls had been starving I had hardly eaten, instead just pushing the food around on my plate. Lissa had been watching me with a worried expression, but I just shrugged it off, not wanting to deal with anything right now. After the check had come, my friends needed to go to the feeders, but suggested that we go to the bar afterwards. And although a drink sounded amazing right now, I couldn't force myself to do it.
"Are you sure Rose?" Jill asked, although she and Mia weren't old enough to drink, hell Lissa and I weren't either, the court was pretty lineate about stuff like that, and we would all be served as if we were legal.
"Positive." I nodded, with a plastic smile. "I just need to go to sleep. Besides I have that meeting with Tatiana in a few days, and I really need to start preparing for it." I added, knowing that I really should've had everything ready for the council meeting, but of course I procrastinated.
"Alright, if you're sure." Mia sighed, pulling me in for a hug and telling me to call her soon. Jill did the same before heading in the direction of the feeders with Mia, rambling on about a new way to use water as a weapon.
"Are you sure you're okay? I saw your face after the reading Rose, and you completely shut down." Lissa told me, her jade eyes wide and slightly frantic as she studied my features. I made sure to keep my face blank and indifferent, making sure that she couldn't read any of my emotions.
"Fine. I am completely fine." I told her, forcing my lips into another fake smile. "So I got a crappy reading, I really should've known better, I always get the worst readings. Just remind me to stick to fortune cookies next time." I gave my best attempt at a joke, even though it was completely transparent. Lissa watched me for another minute, before hugging me tightly and telling me to have a good night. I watched her catch up to Jill and Mia, wondering if she had really fallen for my act or if she had seen right through me, but gone along with it anyway. I thought I was a good actress, but if Lissa had seen through my act but pretended not to, then she might be next in line for an academy award.
The walk back to guest housing was quiet and long. I tried my best to keep my mind blank but I was failing miserably at it, there were too many things going on lately. It never used to be like this, I never used to have to stress this much. But then again, I never had this much responsibility, I never even dreamed of having it. My entire life had been planned to the letter - I was supposed to be Lissa's guardian, and protect her with my life. Simple. that's not how it turned out. Instead I was leader of the guardian council, my future was dark, twisty and filled with pain, and I had raging men problems that seemed never ending. And those were just the beginning, the ones that were immediately plaguing me. I still had the incidents in Europe to worry about, and the reasons that led me to become the leader of the American guardian council. The reason why Kai and I travelled halfway around the world in the blink of an out my stress free day, only made me realize how overwhelmed I actually was. I knew that I was up to certain challenges, and that I was able to handle a lot of my problems on my own, but for the impossible things? I didn't know how I would handle them. I didn't know how much longer I could carry the world on my shoulders.
"Spa day, huh?" A deep voice rumbled when I opened my door, and I jumped into fighting mode as I flicked on the light, only to see Kai lounging on my bed. I nearly just had a heart attack, but he just seemed cavalier as he closed his cell phone, and looked over at me with an amused expression.
"You're really jumpy." He stated, cocking one of eyebrows. "I thought spas were supposed to relax people, and you know rejuvenate or whatever." He azure eyes were laughing as I crossed the room and slid off my jacket, leaving it on the floor.
"I have a good reason to be jumpy." I snapped, flopping face first onto my bed beside Kai. "I'm surprised you aren't. And most spas are supposed to relax people, unless you have so much stressed you could snap like a rubber band." I muttered into the pillow, knowing that he probably didn't understand a word I had said after I laid down.
"I don't have a reason to be on edge anymore, and neither do you." Kai told me, all the teasing gone from his voice. I turned my head to sneak a peek at him, he was solemn all of a sudden and his blue eyes turned stormy.
"I know," I sighed as I rolled over, knowing that all my worry was useless. We had left it all behind, and Kai was right we didn't have to be so on edge. But why was I? It was a scary event, I tried to justify, but I felt like it was deeper than that. It was more than just remembering a trauma, or having nightmares about it. There was a reason I was still nervous, and maybe that was because it's not over, not yet.
"Rose, you don't need to worry about it anymore. It's in the past and it will never happen again, but even if we did we can beat it. The both of us together." Kai comforted, reaching out and gripping my shoulder tightly, and I just looked at him. I wanted to trust him, to believe what he was saying, but I couldn't.
"Then why did we run?" I whispered, unsure of my voice. "If we can beat it, then why did we escape like cowards. Why did we act so weak?" I felt the tears burning in my eyes, but I blinked them back. There was no way in hell I was going to cry. It was for the weak and helpless, and I refused to be that. Not now and not ever. I may have been in the past, and I may have been afraid but I wasn't going to back down. That much I knew for sure, although I was positive that I wouldn't win. I would give it my all, and I will be damned if I go down without a fight.
"Because we didn't know any better. Because it was the right option. Because we wanted to cherish what little we had left, and you wanted to spend time with the people you love." Kai told me, placing his fingers on my chin and lifting, so that I was looking him directly in the eyes. "We chose not to fight because we had already lost too much, and that is not being a coward or weak. That's being smart." He told me, and I just nodded along. Kai was right, we had lost too much, or rather he had. In all the months that I'd known Kai, he had lost more than most should in their lifetime, even for a guardian. He knew what it was like to watch friends and family die, he knew what it was like to lose love, after just getting it back.
"You're right. I'm just being dumb and childish, I'm sorry." I told him, I had gained a lot of my resolve back, and although I was still scared out of my wits I wasn't going to be a victim. I refused to be that girl, the one who needs reassuring and rescuing, that wasn't me nor would it ever be.
"You are not a dumb girl, Rose Hathaway, you are strong and brave. You are also the only thing I have left in this world." Kai told me, and I swallowed, the only thing he had left. I literally felt my heart breaking as I thought of all the loss Kai has experienced, and I knew that he wouldn't let anything happen. We would stick together for the rest of our lives.
"Give 'em hell." Kai whispered in my ear a couple days later, before shoving me forward to a spot where I could easily be seen by all the royals, and everyone else attending the moroi council meeting today. The room was swarming with people, straining to catch a glimpse of Tatiana and the other council members, of people trying to see me. My automatic reaction was to lift my head high and roll my shoulders back, taking purposeful steps toward the council and ignoring all the stares.I made sure to make eye contact with the council members as I approached, keeping my face blank and letting them know I was serious about this, except when my eyes rested on Lissa. That's when I felt the grin crack on my face, I was too proud to maintain my guardian mask. After I left three years ago, the council had discussed and voted on the quorum law. It had been decided that the law was unfair and had been repealed, and had been called a rare exception and would never happen again. Lissa had gained full rights to her spot on the council, and was able to represent the Dragomirs. She held the position with all the grace and dignity in the world, just like a princess should, and contributed her views on moroi politics as desired.
"Ahh, Guardian Hathaway," Tatiana greeted. "It's been quite a while since we've last spoken." I knew that she must be thinking back to the last time we had spoken. It had been in a council meeting just like this one,and to say that it hadn't ended well was a huge understatement. I had called her a sanctimonious bitch - which hadn't been one of my finer moments, but she deserved to heart it - and had ended with me being escorted from the council chambers. That had been one of my final days at court, and I knew that people had speculated that was the reason behind my sudden departure. Some assumed the queen had banished me from court.I gave her a stiff but polite bow, gritting my teeth the entire time. I hated that I had to show her so much respect, she didn't deserve it after all the times that she screwed with me and my friends. And especially not after the ridiculous law she tried to pass a few years back, and so I waited for the day when she would finally relinquish the throne.
"I had to admit that I was shocked when Guardian Croft chose you to be his successor." Tatiana continued, her voice light. "Last I had heard, you two had a shall we say "complicated" relationship." She shot me a cool smile, almost like it was an inside joke that Hans hated me, but I had to admit she was right. Before I left, Hans and I had always gone back and forth. Some days I was a great guardian with a promising future ahead of me, but other days I was just a disrespectful teenager who wouldn't amount to anything. I'm glad that I ended up being the former.
"My relationship with Hans played no part in my becoming the head of the guardian council. I earned my position." I informed her, my voice cool as I tried to remain as respectful as possible. I knew that she doubted me and still saw me as the reckless teenager that I used to be, that was how almost everyone in the room saw me too. Hardly anyone thought I deserved this position.
"Yes. I've heard all about your exploits in Europe. But I cannot agree that all the havoc and demolition you've caused over seas, really counts as earning anything." Tatiana told me, her voice sounding breezy as she smiled at me. I knew that she was trying to get a rise out of me, that she was trying to make me look incompetent in front of the council, but it wasn't going to work. Not this time.
"Collateral damage." I smiled sweetly, pretending like I didn't want to jump across the table and strangle her. "Let's get back to the reason why we're here. This is after all, a very important discussion, and I would like to give my input as head of the guardian council." I told her,
"Right you are, Guardian Hathaway. We can discuss the damage you've inflicted in Europe later." She told my briskly, still trying to see how far she could push me before I snapped.
"The topic being discussed today, is whether guardians should be openly pursuing Strigoi." I announced, making the topic clear to everyone. I knew that they had previous council meetings on the subject, but this was the first one that I was attending, and I wanted everything to be straight forward. I wasn't going to give Tatiana a chance to trick me somehow, and I really didn't want to start a riot."I believe that guardians should be pursing Strigoi. We shouldn't sit around waiting for the fight to come to us, we should be preparing ourselves and bringing the fight to them. We should be harnessing the element of surprise." I explained, while a few observers in the crowd began to nod along, while the council maintained poker faces.
"You really think that the guardians should leave their charges defenceless, while they go off and get themselves killed?" A royal from the crowd demanded, and I vaguely recognized him as apart of the Zeklos family. I stifled an eye roll, knowing that someone was going to bring up the point about leaving moroi defenceless. Because to them that's all that mattered, whether they were protected or not, and whether they could have to get their hands dirty to stay safe.
"Charges would be at court or another area secured by wards. Your guardians wouldn't be leaving you in any type of danger." I told him, cutting him off when he opened his mouth to argue. "Besides, if you are really that afraid for your safety, then you can take up the cause about moroi learning to fight. You wouldn't be completely defenceless that way." I added, knowing that I would be chastised for bringing up offensive magic in this meeting, but I couldn't help but offer the option.
"Guardian Hathaway, as you were so keen on pointing our earlier, this is not one of the issues up for discussion today. We are discussing the idea of pursuing Strigoi." The queen reprimanded, her voice tight. "If you've matured as much as you'd like everyone here to believe, then you will act accordingly. I think it would be quite a disgrace to have the head of the guardian council forcefully removed from the chambers, don't you agree?" She added, making my fists clench as she spoke. It would be disgraceful for me to be removed from the council room, and it would probably cost me my job and any of the meagre respect I've earned.
"Yes, you're majesty. You are correct and I apologize, it won't happen again." I nodded, forcing the words from my lips, as they left a vile taste in my tongue. It was bad enough having to be so respectful towards her, but having to apologize when I've done nothing wrong? It was practically impossible.
"Back to Lord Zeklos's point. What other options are there to ensure our people's safety, whilst the guardians are out battling Strigoi" Tatiana asked, giving me a sharp look to remind me not to bring up offensive magic again, or basically anything that she wouldn't agree with.
"We would only need a select group of guardians, the rest would remain here at court, or with their charges." I explained, while the crowd began whispering about something that I'd said. I thought back over my words. Nope, nothing offensive or provoking to cause all the chattering.
"Only a select group? How many guardians were you considering to bring?" The queen asked, her tone coloured in disbelief. Almost like she assumed the entire court's guardians would have to accompany me while we hunted Strigoi.
"Each mission would be different, it all depends on certain factors. How many Strigoi there are, where we plan on launching the attack, how long they've been awakened and other variables will dictate how many guardians are brought on the mission." I informed her, hoping that by presenting all the factors that it would seem more professional and legitimate. "We would always investigate the operation extensively before actually pursing the Strigoi. But for a simple mission of ten Strigoi or so, I would bring about five guardians to accompany me." Everyone's eyes widened in shock and the room remained dead silent. The crowd seemed to be frozen in shock, while the council seemed to absorb what I was saying, before deciding how to proceed.
"Only five guardians? You honestly believe you can take on a Strigoi coven of that magnitude with half as many guardians? That's ambitious, even for you Guardian Hathaway." Said the Dashkov Prince, who had taken over after Victor had been striped of his title. I can't say that the new representative of the Dashkov family was an improvement, but at least he wasn't a power hunger psychopath.
A few of the council members gave a nervous chuckle, while Tatiana gave a broad smile and turned to me, noticing that I was watching blank faced. She seemed to realize that I wasn't kidding and sobered up, preparing to face off with me, like we did so many times in the past.
"Perhaps, it is just your arrogance. You have never been a humble girl, or one to fade into the background. You always had to be in the spotlight, thriving in the attention - no matter if it is negative or not and it is an admirable quality to posses." She began, her voice filled with power as she spoke not just to me, but the entire crowd. For her, this wasn't just about the issues at stake, this was about creating a show, and lecturing me was the main event. "Except when your job requires you to fade into the background. People have been lenient with you in the past, and have tolerated your juvenile outburst, but that was years ago. Now that you hold this position, I expect this irrational behaviour to stop. This is not just about you getting your way anymore Rosemarie. You need to grow up and open your eyes, our people's lives are on the line. People are depending on you, and I will not have them slaughtered because you wanted to prove yourself." Tatiana scolded, while the room crackled with tension that I was positive that I could slice with my stake.
I clenched my fists so tightly that my finger nails were practically digging into my palms. Her lecture had sounded like a twisted version of the guardian speech that Hans had given me, which only made me want to yell. Why couldn't anyone realize that I knew my responsibilities and wasn't trying to show off? Why couldn't they see that I was taking this seriously?
"It's not arrogance when you have the skill and ability to prove it." I told her, my tone matching hers as I spoke. "I am one of the best damn guardians around, which is why I was given this position. I'm not telling you this to prove myself or to boost my ego, I am telling you this because it's the truth." I kept my face void of all emotion as I spoke, willing myself not to crack in front of all these people, because she was right about one thing. People were depending on me and I could not fail.
"You could very well be the best guardian in history for that matter, Miss Hathaway." She snapped, dropping my guardian title which was a blatant lack of respect, and made my jaw go slightly slack. "Bit it wouldn't matter. Even you cannot battle Strigoi with such little re-enforcement." My blood was still boiling about her dropping my title, but I dimly recalled when I first walked into this meeting, thinking that I would be arguing over the fact that I had too much back up, rather than too little.
"It's Guardian Hathaway." I told her, my voice sounding sharp and dangerous. "I have been appointed head of the guardian council, whether you like it or not. And I think you've made it pretty clear that it's the later. But regardless of your personal feelings towards my promotion, you have to respect it. You cannot drop my title whenever you disagree with what it is I'm saying. It's disrespectful and impolite." I told her putting my hands on my hips, knowing that what I was about to say would probably piss everyone off, but I couldn't help myself. "Truthfully, I expected better manners from the queen, especially since you just criticized my educate." I heard the gasps from the crowd but I wasn't focused on them, I was watching the council. Some looked completely baffled by my words, while others looked although they had expected this - Lissa was of course, the later.
It may not have been enough to have my removed from the chambers, but it was enough to cause controversy. Tatiana and I locked eyes, her emerald orbs that marked her as an Ivashkov, were narrowed into slits. Almost like she thought if she glared at me long enough that I would eventually back down.
I wouldn't.
I think she finally realized that after we continued in the starring contest, and a smirk appeared on my face while I waited for her next move.
"No matter whether it's ambition or arrogance that drives you, Guardian Hathaway." She enunciated my name, clearly making it known that she thought it was arrogance that was my motivation. "It still cannot be done, it is impossible to take on a coven of Strigoi that large with so few guardians. I refuse to allow guardians to embark on suicide missions, especially when numbers are dwindling." Tatiana announced, with a delicate wave of her head, signalling that this conversation was now over, but I was not going to let her win that easily.
"It can be done." I demanded, my voice loud and strong. "Let me show you and everyone else who doubts me, that it can be done." I was not about to let this opportunity slip through my fingers, people were depending on me to make this law pass. The queen and everyone else for that matter can think that I'm an arrogant brat for all I care, as long as I can get the movement about hunting Strigoi started, then I couldn't care less.
"And how do you propose to sway us?" The queen asked, her tone implying that she was humouring me but asking this question, that there was nothing I could do to change her mind at this point. On the surface I kept a calm and cool façade, but underneath it all I was seething. She was not taking me seriously at all, and that was a huge mistake on her part.
"A trial." I blurted. "Let me assemble a small team of guardians and allow us to go hunting. I have already found and researched a group of Strigoi located just outside of Pennsylvania." I explained, while the audience began to whisper about the proximity of the Strigoi. "If we return victorious then you make it law, stating that all guardians may now openly pursue Strigoi."
"And what happens if you do not return successfully? What happens then Guardian Hathaway?" Her majesty asked, her emerald eyes skewered me, willing for me to back down. I jerked my chin up, not caring if I looked like a snob, and met her gaze levelly.
"That won't happen." I told her, putting every ounce of confidence I had into my words. I knew that I could be wrong, that there was a strong possibility that we may not come back successful, if we even returned at all. But that was a risk that I faced on a daily basis, unsure of whether I would live to see another day, it was risk that all guardians took. Tatiana raised her dark eyebrows at me, opening her mouth to comment on my arrogant reply to her question, when I quickly cut her off.
"But, if we do not return successful, then I am prepared to step down as head of the guardian council." I announced, rolling my shoulders back and keeping my eyes directed at Tatiana, despite the temptation to gaze at the stunned crowd.
I could be making the biggest mistake of my possibly short career right now, but it didn't matter. This was a big enough gamble to show everyone that I was dedicated to my position, or so I hoped. Some would call it foolish, but I knew that to win big, you had to bet big. I didn't know whether the previous heads of the guardian council would be cheering me on right now, or shaking their heads at me, but I hoped that they would be rooting for me. I was after all trying to move our race forward.
"You would be willing to give up your position on the council? I do not know whether that makes you courageous or a fool Rosemarie." Tatiana told me her voice uncertain, but from the look in her eyes I could tell she thought it was the later. She thought that I was throwing away my position, not that she minded. "We will put it to a vote. Anyone in favour of Guardian Hathaway's trial to hunt Strigoi, please raise your hand." she commanded, and I watched in tense anticipation as the council deliberated.
Lissa voted in my favour instantly, soon followed by the Szelsky vote, Ozera vote, Dashkov vote (I guess the new prince wasn't such an idiot), Lazar vote and lastly the Voda vote. I wanted to release a battle cry because I was so happy, but I contained myself. I had danced on the precipice of power and danger today, and I had one. I had actually accomplished something for my people today, and moved us an albeit small step forward.
"Then it is settled. Guardian Hathaway has been given the right to create a team that will hunt the Strigoi coven near Pennsylvania." Tatiana announced to the courtroom before turning back to me. "I want a complied list of all your logistics and the guardians accompanying you on this mission." She told me as she stood and stepped away from her spot on the council, her guards swarming around her as she approached me. "And remember Rosemarie, if you fail then you will no longer be on the council." She spoke with a hard edge, before leaving the chambers in a huff, her guardians trailing behind.
