A/N: I would like to note here and now that I did no research on Risk and I don't think general zargon did either. For example, I thought a country's resources mattered and I don't think you can really have three teams that each have their players doing different things at once. Thanks anyways!
Also, here are the teams:
"Team Hero": Tony, Steve, Thor, Jane, Natasha
"Team Genius": Bruce, Betty, Hank, Jan, Rhodey
"Team Trickster": Loki, Darcy, Clint, Pepper, Peter, Harry (in lieu of Coulson)
.o.o.o.
Chapter 12: Risk, Villains, and...Substitute Teachers?
.o.o.o
Bruce: I also fail to see anything wrong with the name 'Spider-Friend', but to each their own, I suppose. Thank you, Spider-Aunt, for the chocolate chip pancakes.
...I'm not very good at Risk. For some reason I always wind up with really obscure countries that I'm not sure actually exist.
Spider-Friend-who-still-wants-a-new-name
I'm back and happy to report that I did NOT get arrested. You guys are going down! -Hank
Pepper: Oh, it's nothing Tony...Without further ado, let the games begin!
P.S. The video's in the mail, Jan.
...Hmm...
Sorry buddy, I'm not too creative when it comes to names (I called myself the Human Spider for cripes sake! Somebody else called me Spider-Man and it stuck...). Loki's creative, but he's busy being his God of Mischief self...maybe Darcy or Clint?
Also, all of those countries existed when the board was made, and I have the internet to prove it.
Spider-Man
How about "Kid who stole all the best pancakes"?
Clint
Go jump off a cliff, Clint. Maybe something vague relating to the color green?
Darcy
PS: Someone tell Tony that we are not redrawing the board for 2011 resources and borders.
...Okay, if Loki's spell holds I might just go with Kid Goblin until we get something better. Spider-Friend just sounds weird.
Don't redraw the board! I just got used to the map Spidey showed me!
Kid Goblin (still open to other names)
Steve: You really called yourself the Human Spider? That name doesn't really make a lot of sense...
Yeah, no redrawing the map! I'm pretty sure that's against the rules anyway. -Rhodey
Kid Goblin it is then! By the way, can someone please explain this game to me? What exactly is the risk involved in playing it?
Thor
Tony: Fine, be boring then! But I tell you now that the game would be a lot more interesting my way!
P.S. Spider's right, those countries did exist when the game was made. I double-checked just to be sure. :)
The risk is losing.
Loki
...This game sucks. Loki's team got North America and Spider-Man and Kid Goblin just HAD to be in a history class at high school dealing with our country's resources...
Jan
Memo to all Avengers and people who regularly stay at my house:
Trying to act-out board game/video game/other mock battles on my roof is not okay. Nor is turning it into a rainforest to try and prove a point about terrain (hello, Loki). We're using the damn rule book and that's that!
Tony
...So I shouldn't endeavor to introduce Col. Rhodes to why that sort of strategy would never work against ME in Alaska, either?
Oops.
Loki
Loki you *****! Freezing me into a block of ice is NOT an acceptable strategy!
A-very-ticked-off-and-freezing-Rhodey.
Clint: Wow, okay, how'd Hank manage to capture Russia? I thought he was concentrating on Africa!
Loki! Get rid of the rainforest on the roof before we get disqualified! -Darcy
Natasha:...How in the world did Thor manage to drive me back to one country? Tony, are you helping him?
Tony Stark does not know how to defend Asia.
Kid Goblin
I'm starting to like that kid.
The rainforest is gone. I hope you're happy.
Loki
Okay, I hate you both (because Loki, I did not mean "get rid of the forest but relocate the python to the game room and see who yells"). And Hank for getting Russia. And myself for having no better idea for unfreezing Rhodey than a souped-up hair dryer.
Clearly you people are killing my brain cells.
Tony
No, that's the alcohol. Greenland is our team's territory! Team Loki-Spider-Goblin-Darcy-Clint-Pepper is going down!
Betty
Bruce, she's a keeper. She's doing better than Steve, Thor, and Loki at this!
Jan
Bruce: Don't I know it. When we first met she challenged me to a game of Risk and whooped my butt. Our team is so going to win this. :)
In your defense, Tony, the hair dryer thing worked. -Hank
Seriously, how is Hank doing so well at this? And why is Natasha losing to Thor?
Clint
Spider:...I don't know...o_O. Aren't they on the same team?
P.S. Who ate the last of the Doritos?
...You must be reading the map wrong, Clint. YOU are losing to Thor, who is using MY pieces because we ARE on the same team. I'm having more fun calculating the winning percentages for battles since Tony's still having an angst-fest over the hairdryer not being "cool".
...I just read higher. Who's the wise guy pretending to be me!
Natasha
Why do you all keep coming in here to write this stuff?
Happy
...It's been twelve hours, and we've had a lot of coffee and soda?
Natasha, you know there's an online chart that makes the calculations easier, right? That's how we beat your team in Brazil!
Spider-Man
Damn, now our team's down to the tip of Europe. Thanks for letting Kid Goblin overhear you telling Tony England was still weak, Steve
Jane
Kid Goblin, with the above we are officially friends now. Welcome to the trickster side.
Loki
Enchantress: Oh well, it was fun while it lasted! ;) By the way, Thor, I'd recommend attacking Kid Goblin while he is distracted.
O_O Okay, how'd she get in here? Why is she giving Thor advice? And why was she pretending to be Natasha? -Clint
Apologies, Jane, I didn't know Kid Goblin was that ruthless. I promise to keep my voice down in the future.
Steve
Tony: Dang you, Loki...-_-
P.S. I have no idea who ate the last Dorito.
Hah! Take that, Spider! –Bruce
...I'm not ruthless, Captain Rogers, I'm just helping beat you in a board game...
Loki, isn't it "the Dark Side"?
...and who's the Enchantress?
Kid Goblin
Right, right you haven't been in the loop for more than two days. She's an evil Asgardian sorceress who is infatuated with Thor, can't take "no" for an answer and wants to kill me.
Jane
PS: Damn, our team's out now. Let's see who're the better planners-Team Mischief or Team Genius?
Actually, it's NOT the Dark Side I welcomed you to, because let's face it, Spider would have nothing to do with the Dark Side and I have no cookies. XD
Also, Spider, can't you hold onto Latin America like a normal person? I told you to pay attention to it!
Loki
...No hablo espanol?
Spider-Man
Hank! How could you let them take Australia!...and New Zealand. Crap, that gives them bonus armies, right?
Jan
Natasha: Grrrr...She is SO dead the next time we fight. Now somebody pass me the popcorn!
Don't worry, Jan. Betty, Bruce, and I have a strategy worked out. -Hank
Darcy: I have cookies, but I'm not sharing! ;P
Oh, this is gonna be great! My money's on Team Genius pulling an upset.
Clint
I would not count my brother out, Clint. Do we have any more potato chips? –Thor
Thank you so much for voting against your own team, Barton.
Loki
And Loki, Spider-Man, and Pepper came up with a way to kick our team out of South America entirely. Great. Betty, does the plan involve luring them into a false sense of security or something?
Jan
It is now three hours after Wasp's last note. Sadly the Sinister Six attacked and the game board was lost.
Not-sadly, my team was winning at the time, and the Six were way over their heads fighting more than just me!
Spider-Man
For the record, we had a plan. And you all would have lost.
Hank
...I want lessons in "surviving villains invading living rooms" now
Kid Goblin
Hey, I just call 'em as I see 'em! -Clint
Jane: It was fun to see Thor pile-drive Scorpion into the ground, I will admit.
Yeah, but dodging acid and thrown coffee tables is definitely not good for shoes, especially high heels.
Pepper
Bruce: Luckily we don't have to prove that, Hank. By the way, how is it that the remote control stayed intact, but the T.V. and half the kitchen table were completely demolished?
The remote was a smaller target. -Darcy
P.S. Why? What are the chances of that actually happening to you outside of here, Kid Goblin?
Maybe I can fine-tune-it into a universal remote so we can use with any TV in the house...or the coffee maker.
Tony
1-My dad is a super-villain (even if I didn't know that until Spidey blurted it out and Loki randomly produced evidence), so I'm betting he has people over and I want to know what to do if they start arguing and fighting in my home.
2-Now that I know who Spidey is, he has less of an excuse to not hang out with me, so we're going to be doing homework here a lot (his idea, my math grades still suck)
Kid Goblin
I'm taking my nephew and his friend home, they've got school in the morning.
Spider-Aunt
Steve, go drag Tony out of his lab. He has a meeting tomorrow morning.
Pepper
Darcy: But then wouldn't everyone be fighting over whose turn it was to have the super-remote?
We can always buy more remotes. It's not like Tony can't afford it, since we have to replace the T.V. and kitchen table anyway. -Jan
Steve: Tony is now fast asleep, and I don't think he'll be able to make that meeting on time, Pepper.
Dang, now we'll never know who won, Team Mischief or Team Genius...Aw well, there's always next game night! :) Night, guys!
Clint
Steve has dragged me out of bed at the ungodly hour of eight a.m. and now Pepper wants me to go to a meeting...wonder how much coffee I can drink in an hour...
Tony
Wow, check out today's Bugle. "Spider-Man Leads Sinister Six to Avengers Tower". Can I please shoot this Jameson guy?
Clint
No, Clint, but I'll call to administer a correction. Also Stark informed me before leaving that the television order has been placed.
Coulson
Excuse me, everyone, but my nephew just texted me to ask if anyone knew where Loki is. He sounded oddly worried. Do you think Loki might have decided to follow him and Kid Goblin around their school out of boredom?
Spider-Aunt
Bruce: Apparently Tony can drink 3.5 pots of coffee in an hour...expect to see more of him writing stuff down in here as he runs to bathroom, everybody.
That does sound like something my brother would do, Spider-Aunt, but I would check to make sure it was actually him instead of someone else capable of using magic. -Thor
Come to think of it, does anyone know what the Enchantress is up to? You know, besides pretending to be Natasha to write on the bathroom wall.
Hank
Jane: Well, I'm still alive so that's definitely a plus. By the way, does anyone remember whether or not we put the ice cream away after the Sinister Six ran away?
Off to a meeting. I saw that, Bruce. Let's see you get new chemicals out of me now...
Tony
Okay, I'm sure I mentioned this over dinner a few weeks ago, but my (and KG's) English teacher is out for two months maternity leave.
We met our sub today.
Our sub is a moderately-well-disguised Loki.
Who I now really, really hate.
Spider-Man
I hate him more. Even if he did troll the quarterback and that bitchy cheerleader.
Kid Goblin (name? come on people!...I'm stuck w/ this, aren't I?)
People, I think we're forgetting the evil sorceress who broke in last night!...well, okay, harping on her is usually Loki and Jane's thing, and Jane was in her lab and Loki apparently substitute teaching at a high school (he needs to tell me these things) but...well...pay attention!
Darcy
Hank:...I will remind you, Darcy, that I did ask about the Enchantress. Unless you're talking about another evil sorceress?
Sorry, KG, but you're stuck with that name. ^_^
Jan
Betty: I'm happy to report that the ice cream is safe (except for that one tub of chocolate chip). Why is Bruce muttering something about putting some kind of drain cleaner solution in Tony's armor's hydrolics system?
WHAT? BRUCE! DON'T YOU DARE! –Tony
I meant everyone BUT you Hank. Are we the only ones worried?
Darcy
Darcy, tell Loki he's out of the club until we get a satisfying "why I am your temp-teacher" explanation.
...well, he's the God of Lies, so it should at least SOUND like a good one at any rate...
Your-still-pissed-off-neighborhood-Spider-Man
Bruce, don't. We shouldn't do tings that will affect missions.
Come up with something else.
Coulson
PS-Meeting about Enchantress after dinner. Darcy and Hank are correct, it is a possible threat.
...Phil, was that permission? Tell me that was permission. I would love to hear that was permission to do...something, okay baby? Tell me it was permission!
Clint
Jan: It sure sounded like permission to me! And Hank, when did you find time to be worried about the Enchantress showing up?
I will be sure to do that, Spidey. -Darcy
Thor: Why am I hearing something that sounds suspiciously like evil laughter coming from Loki's room? I think he's enjoying the chance to come up with the story you wanted a bit too much, Spider...
*Sigh* Yes, Clint, that was permission to do something, as long as that something doesn't endanger missions.
Coulson
Easy Jan, because most of my lab equipment was broken when the Sinister Six broke in and I'm still waiting for replacements.
Hank
Phil, I love you!
Clint
Somebody's happy. Okay, so outside of wanting to kill Miss Foster because she erroneously believes it will enable her to date my brother, what do you all think Amora wanted?
Spider, I need to ask: by a good story did you mean "sounds good" or "is believable"? There's a difference.
Loki
...I'm just going to hide in my workshop. For a week.
Tony
PS: Enchantress is the blonde chick in all green who tried killing me with an animated statue when I flirted with her in June, right?
Steve: Wait, Tony did what?
I'm pretty sure that Spidey meant "is believable", Loki. -Natasha
P.S. Yes, Enchantress is the blonde woman in all green.
Yes, that's what I meant. -_-;
Are you sure the Enchantress didn't plant a bomb in the mansion or something like that? That seems to be a super-villain favorite...
You-still-peeved-neighborhood Spider-Man
Jan: That isn't really Enchantress's style, but still...It's better than my idea.
Oh. So, your equipment will get here at the same time as the other replacement stuff?
Steve, that was months before you two started dating.
Spider, Kid Goblin, I have your story. Please meet me in the kitchen to see if it is satisfactory.
Loki
Yeah, still waiting. I've got nothing to do...on the other hand, it frees me up if you want to go on a date?
Hank
Coulson: Everyone, search the tower. Loki, can you track the Enchantress' magic in any way?
Okay, on the one hand, "I was bored" isn't a good excuse...on the other hand Spidey told me what Loki does when he's bored...and while that's all the story amounted to it was very good...ideas?
Kid Goblin
PS: Are we going to anything about my dad being a super-villain? Ever? And if so can I get a 48-hours-ahead warning so I can be far away?
.o.o.o.
Reviews please!
