a/n: a few things before the story starts...
one; i bet you guys are really surprised that i've updated, huh? well, if you're happy about that, then i've got some good news! as of last week, i have decided to update Sokka Situations more and more! i've got some cool ideas for Sokka, but suggestions/requests are nice. those give me an obligation to work for you guys.
two; october 12 - october 18 is Kasplangy Week! what is that, you ask? why, it's the celebration of my friendship with Tang Si Ming-Yue! that's right, it's been one year since i started PMing her! awesome, right?
three; i mean no offense to Sokka or his fans. it's just a story, okay?
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Dedicated to Tangy, hopefully she'll laugh her butt off and forget how mean I was to Sokka in this sitch.
Court Case
At the international Avatar convention, loads of fans showed up. Each character got a table of their own. Sokka decided he deserved a lot of spotlight, so he set up his booth in the middle of the convention. When the fans spilled in, a good amount lined up in front of Sokka. He was glee throughout the first half of the day.
He held up his hands as he announced, "I know you all love me, but it's time for a break. I'll be back!"
The girls screamed abnormally high pitched notes and tried to keep the Water Tribe warrior with them. Sokka grinned as he managed to get out of the mob alive. He headed for the cafeteria, passing Zuko's lively stand. He pushed his way through the masses of girls. Once he was free, a thought dawned on him as he glowered at the firebender and his dozens of fans. Sokka stomped off in a huff.
: : : :
"YOU!" Sokka shrieked when a messy-haired, tattered clothed wearing Zuko walked in. "You traitor!"
Zuko groaned, "First your sister and now you! Give me a break!"
"I thought you were my friend!"
"I am!"
"Then stop being so…" Sokka struggled for the right word, "…appealing!"
"…What?"
"Sokka," Katara said, "What's this about?"
"Zuko! It's his fault!"
"What did I do?!"
"You have more fangirls than me!"
"…"
"You are not better than me! I'm more awesome than you! And because it seems like you have more fans, I'm suing you!"
"WHAT?!"
"That's right, be afraid! My lawyer's Aang—"
"How did I get in the middle of this?"
"—And an assassin: Toph!"
"Sweetness."
"I even have a secret spy! But I won't tell you who he-slash-she is, 'cause it's a secret!"
"Katara, right?"
"PSH, NO!" Sokka protested, suddenly shifty-eyed, "Katara isn't secret OR a spy."
"…"
"I'll see you in court!" Sokka shouted, pointing menacingly at Zuko.
:
Zuko was not worried about the "trial;" Katara—Sokka had recruited her to be judge—Aang, being the moron's "lawyer," and Toph, as the only member of the jury, thought that Sokka was completely out of his mind. Besides, it wasn't like there were any real consequences.
"Alright, let's get this over with," Katara said, clearly not wanting to be at the head of the room.
"Kataraaah!" Sokka whinned. "Say your lines!"
She sighed, "Order in the court. Sokka of the Water Tribe is suing Zuko of the Fire Nation for having more fangirls than him. Sokka state your case."
Sokka stood up and cleared his throat. "I used to hate Zuko, but then he turned good and helped us take down Ozai, so we became 'friends.' And everything's going good, but NOOO! He's gotta have more fans of the female variety! I don't think that's right!" He sat down, obviously pleased with himself.
"Zuko," Katara prompted, waving her hand nonchalantly.
"One; it isn't my fault girls like me more." He was smug about it. "And two; Sokka's crazy. This trial doesn't even make any sense!" The firebender slouched into his chair.
"What's next—evidence?" Katara pondered, losing interest by the second.
"Girls feel the need to comfort him because he's got that screwed up family," Sokka started, "So what? I lost my mother at a very young age AND my father went off to war!"
"My sister's psychotic, my mother left, and my father is a monster. I'm pretty sure that tops your sob story."
"…" Sokka did not have a counter example ready. "Number two! Benders seem to get a bit more love than the warriors around here. That doesn't seem fair at all! Sure, Zuko has fire, but I've got a boomerang, a club, and a space sword—does he have a space sword? I didn't think so!"
"I have two broad swords, moron."
You could see the fumes rising from Sokka's head.
"Just continue and finish, please, Sokka," Katara said in an irritated tone.
"My last piece of evidence is…" He pulled out photographs of Zuko and himself shirtless.
"…"
"What is it?" Toph asked.
Slightly disgusted, Zuko answered, "They're pictures of me and Sokka without shirts…"
Toph wolf-whistled.
"What do those have to do with anything?" Aang voiced the question everyone was thinking.
"I have randomly"—the way he said it meant he did not do anything randomly—"chosen three fangirls from the convention." Sokka explained as said girls strolled in the mock courtroom. "Now girls," he said almost suave-like, "which guy is more attractive?"
Each one pointed at the firebender's topless body, eyes glazed and mouth drooling.
Zuko, Katara, Aang, and Toph snickered.
Sokka gaped. "Who—Why—How—?"
"Zuko fangirls," one responded.
"Heard about you suing our precious Zuko—HOW DARE YOU!"
"We told your fans you would spend an entire weekend with them."
Sokka groaned, "Great!"
"You girls can leave now," Katara instructed. The girls obeyed, taking the shirtless Zuko with them.
"So, we'll give Toph a few minutes to make her decision."
The earthbender left the room. Inconspicuously, Sokka followed her out.
He laced his hands together, and started to beg. "You know he's guilty, Toph, you know it! You're on my side, right, Toph, right? You're on my side. You're going to punish him. Not me. Zuko's guilty, and I'm right. I always. Okay, Toph?" There was a sparkle in his eyes; like he was only 99.9 percent sure the blind girl was on hi side. That last .01 percent was threatening if Toph was in the picture.
She pretended to not pay attention to him as she said "Sure, sure."
Sokka slumped his shoulders in relief. "Cool. Thanks, Toph." He strolled back into the main room like he owned the place.
Soon after the Water Tribe member left, the Fire Lord stepped in.
"Toph, you're not really going through with this, are you?" he questioned.
"Maybe," she said, "maybe not." A playful smile danced on her face.
"He's crazy! Who sues someone for having a lot of fans?! It doesn't make any sense!" Zuko leaned down to whisper in her ear, "And, I think his cactus juice had something to do with this. Sokka's paranoid!"
"I couldn't agree more," was all she said.
: : : :
"Okay, Toph," Katara said when everyone returned. "What's the verdict?"
Both Sokka and Zuko beamed, thinking they had won the case. They were too busy relishing the moment to think about who exactly Toph was, and what she does for a living: torture people.
Toph smiled mischievously. "Weeeell," she drew out the syllable for effect, "They're both idiots"—at this point, two draws dropped—"so I sentence them both to a week of awkward talk with each other!"
The older boys started shouting indecent and unintelligent obscenities.
Aang bounded Zuko's hand behind his back with ice and cuffed Sokka's with earth. He pushed the two roughly out of the room, obviously happy with the outcome of the trial.
"When did you become the executioner?!" Sokka yelled.
"You have the right to remain silent," the Avatar countered, grinning.
"That doesn't make any sense!" Zuko shrieked at the top of his lungs, fed up with the whole ordeal.
At that moment, a wave of realization broke on Sokka.
"I haaate making small talk with Zuko!"
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a/n: the Sokka/Zuko "ship" amuses me. XD
HAPPY KASPLANGY WEEK TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (:
