Chapter 12

When he returned to the palace for that morning's meeting Melbourne didn't tell Victoria about the encounter he had had with the Duke hours earlier.

"William! Good Morning!"

"Victoria..."

They kissed quickly.

"And now tell me... Do you feel compensated for that fateful last ball?" She asked looking satisfied.

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him smiling.

"Completely compensated! Since last night, even before the ball, until now... Any man in the world couldn't ask for more!"

He kissed her intensely.

"Did everything go well when you left?" She asked interestedly.

"It did."

"You're beautiful!"

He smiled self-contentedly.

"And you're delicious!"

William laughed, showing surprise on his face.

"Delicious? Like what?" He asked as he grabbed her hands between their chests.

"Like... a Cadbury chocolate..."

"Hmm... No one would have made such a comparison!"

They both laughed.

Skerrett walked through the hall and heard them laughing. She couldn't help but smile as well!

"You are perfect in everything! What you do to me in bed is wonderful..."

"Don't go there yet Victoria... we have a lot of documents to read and dispatch there in those boxes... Yes, but since you mention it, not wanting to compliment myself, I guess a young prince, inexperienced, would not have my... knowledge... on that matter…"

"So I really made a good choice!" She concluded.

They laughed again together.

They would stay the rest of the morning like this, lulled in each other, but work had to be done.

They got on with that, starting by sitting at the desk.

After the dispatch of some documents about the appointment of deans to some of the cathedrals, Melbourne introduced the topic that most occupied his thoughts in those days:

"Victoria..."

"Yes?"

"Maybe we should start weighing the pros - if they exist - and the cons of announcing your intention to marry... me. We won't be able to keep this situation a secret for long and there is a danger that you could be... This circumstance has to become public, but if we are going to disclose it we will need to have well-prepared arguments."

"Of course William. What do you propose?"

"Let's first consider the cons, which they won't accept."

"Very well..."

"Well, starting with the gravest, I have no royal blood; I'm just a Viscount, a recent title. Moreover I'm a widower with a scandalous past and much older than you, which will make them say that I seduced you..."

"That last part is true!" She teased.

He smiled reproachfully and continued:

"It is also very grave that I am your Prime Minister, so they will say that I took advantage of this position to obtain a more intimate relationship with you, and a Prime Minister can never be married to the Queen... Politically it is completely unfeasible. The Crown cannot marry the Parliament! The sovereign must be impartial."

"So if I insist on this, given the factors you have just pointed out, what would they do?" She asked so he would tell her the consequences.

"They will drag your image through the mud and the empire will be plunged into political chaos. You will be accused of mental disorder, of mental instability, which they have already invoked in the past about the Ladies of the Bedchamber episode occurred in 1839. If all this happens they will force you to abdicate and the alternative is your Uncle Cumberland, who can't wait to sit on the throne of England."

"In fact, our marriage is not a marriage of convenience. Besides us loving each other, it must be the most inconvenient marriage in the eyes of the world." She joked.

They smiled.

"How could we, even remotely, overcome those circumstances?" She asked. "Have you thought of any possibilities, as I asked you?"

"I know what the law says... You know there is a Royal Marriages Act of 1772. What does this law say?"

"That no member of the royal family can marry without the sovereign's permission."

"And what is the purpose?"

"Avoid diminishing the status of the Royal Household by preventing the marriage of its members to people of inferior social status."

"In the light of what you have just said, do you think it possible to marry me?"

Victoria knew the incoherence of what she was going to answer, but even so she wanted to say it so that all arguments could be discussed in the hope of finding a path they could follow:

"If the law says that permission has to be given by the sovereign, the monarch is me, and I can authorize my own marriage."

He realized her intention and responded accordingly:

"But that is subverting the law! And what is expected of the monarch is to set the example and not to go over the law when it doesn't suit them! You can't demand that members of the Royal Household don't marry people of inferior status when you do it yourself!"

"Henry VIII, when the head of the Catholic Church didn't authorize the annulment of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon, he simply founded the Anglican church…" Victoria said amusedly.

"Well, we're not in the sixteenth century anymore, and you can't behave like Henry VIII..."

"Then? Alternative?"

"Well, there is the legal figure of morganatic marriage. You know what it is…" He said.

"It is the marriage of a nobleman, a prince or a king, to someone of the lower nobility or a commoner, but that is recognized as legal. In that case the law is not disrespected; it may be a way..." She said, noting the feasibility of the proposition.

"But it has serious implications... The children of a marriage of this nature can't inherit titles or rights of the highest-status parent."

"And the spouse..."

"Neither…"

"That's our solution!" Victoria said with a blank look.

"You want to have a morganatic marriage with me?" He asked in surprise.

"If there is no alternative..."

"Even with the future implications..."

"Yes of course." She reinforced.

"You want to marry a man my age… and you don't mind that your children wouldn't inherit the throne of England just to be able to marry a man of old age..."

"That is what I want. And you're not an old man!" She exclaimed in a scolding tone.

He smiled.

"What if I insist on a non-morganatic marriage?" She asked, defying the law.

"The alternative they will give you is abdication. No one will accept you as Queen married to me, nor the children of our union as heirs. In practice, it has an even worse result because the morganatic marriage still allows you to continue to reign, it will only nullify that possibility for your children..."

Victoria was thoughtful.

"And you would still have to annul the other great obstacle…" He said.

He didn't explain which one, waiting for her to figure it out on her own.

"You will have to stop being Prime Minister..." She made the obvious deduction.

"Yes…"

"And do you want to do that?"

"I want to, if it means sharing my life with you."

She smiled slightly at him.

"Is it more important for you to be married to me than to be Prime Minister?" She asked.

"What do you think, Victoria?"

"It's not that... Do you not regret having to resign the position?"

"Victoria, prime ministers are always changing. I myself was prime minister and stopped being one a few times. At any moment there are elections and governments change. In the next election, I would probably lose. If I resign I would only be anticipating that outcome in a few months... And if that gives me the possibility of being able to show myself to the world with you, how could I still feel any hesitation? Before you became Queen I already intended to withdraw from politics. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here for years now..."

"I wouldn't like to have another Prime Minister... Nor other ladies... But today I can no longer act like I did in the past. Besides, Peel is not that bad..." She grimaced. "If he were to win the next elections, I would have to accept him as well, with no room for any refusal, any more than the ladies he proposed. And actually, if you resigned, I would stop having you as Prime Minister, but I would have you in my life every day... And every night... In the light of the world... And that is highly compensating." Victoria concluded.

"But in this case it will not be Peel to succeed me..."

"It won't?"

"The other time, if you had allowed it, it would have been Peel because my party had lost strength in the Parliament and the alternative was for power to be given to the Tories. But at this moment things are balanced and the only change would be that of the man who holds the position of prime minister, but a Whig all the same..."

"Ah... So it's less serious... And who could that be?" Victoria asked curiously.

"John Russell, 1st Earl Russell, leader of the Whigs in the House of Commons."

"And would I keep my ladies?"

"Yes!"

"Then let's suppose you resign. How do we solve the other obstacles?" She asked excitedly at the prospect.

"The marital and personal scandals of the past and age can't be erased." He said.

"But the title can be high. I can do that!" She exclaimed.

"But why would you grant me a title?"

Her eyes widened as the thought struck her brain as she said:

"Because you saved my life!"

He shook his head, trying to understand her idea.

"You saved my life, the life of the sovereign of England; that should be rewarded. Is there any act of greater nobility? The monarch uses the granting of nobiliary titles for that." She explained.

"And what does that change? What is the advantage of that?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, it's better for you to be an Earl than to be a Viscount, is it not?"

"I confess I don't feel good about that. Not only about the reward itself, because what I have done does not justify it, nor also about the fact that it would be you yourself to attribute it in order to have a more prominent fiancé on the social ladder. It looks like you're buying me..."

"If you want to marry me, you have to stop those pruritus… Aren't you willing to resign? I am willing to do everything in my power for us to get married... And give you a title is something that is in my own hands... Have you seen the opportunity that we end up having, given the position that I occupy? It's a coincidence that I'm your fiancé and at the same time the Queen..."

"So let's continue to assume that I resign and that you make me a higher noble... What would overcome the other problems?" William asked.

"The scandals of your past have been compensated thanks to the good image of you that came out in the papers when you saved my life. No one can deny that. It is a very favorable element in the public opinion... Did you see what came out in the Times and the Morning Post? You were praised for your courage and coolness."

"Yes…"

"Age... I didn't want to have to think about that..." She said looking at him sadly.

His face closed as well.

"Well, that's not a political issue, it's something that only concerns us, and none of us cares about this difference..." She tried to get the matter over with.

"But it's just..." He still started, but could not continue.

She pressed her lips together to keep the tears from flowing into her blue eyes.

They remained silent.

They pulled themselves together.

She moved to another subject:

"We can still add other favorable elements. My alternative would be my Uncle Cumberland, and no one wants him as King of England. He could even please some of the Tories, but no one else wants him, public opinion does not want him... Half of the kingdom thinks he killed a servant, and the other half think that he generated a son in his own sister... And public opinion is favorable to me as Queen. Demanding my abdication wouldn't be wise. They know that. And I will remind them of it myself if necessary."

"But even if you get the approval for the marriage, the Parliament will not approve of any allowance for me, don't count on it, but I don't need it either way... And I'll never be allowed to be a Prince Consort..." He took the chance to warn her of the obstacles.

"But you should be Prince Consort, yes! At least you should receive Royal Highness Treatment! In fact, you should be King Consort! Just like the husband of Queen Maria II of Portugal! Another Coburg..."

William made a face of utter disapproval and said:

"Do not demand too much, Victoria, we'll be very lucky if they overlook the other obstacles! Don't create more! King Consort? You must be joking! You're the Queen! No man, not even a prince of royal blood with whom you married would be allowed to be king, or he would stand above you. And to the husband of the Queen of Portugal this title was only granted when the crown prince was born, which will not happen if you do a morganatic marriage..."

She recognized the logic of his response and added:

"But there are still other small favorable aspects. You're English, it's my English wedding! Was it not you who said that an English wedding would be very well regarded? Wellington wouldn't want me to marry a German. And you are Anglican and I am the supreme governor of the Church of England. He would hate a suitor whom he suspected of being a Papist!"

"Will we make it?" He asked, but seeing a faint possibility that was beginning to become credible.

"I believe so, William, we have to make it!"

The first step was to grant Melbourne a title for services rendered personally to the sovereign of England. The second was his resignation as Prime Minister. The third the disclosure of the intention of their marriage. In this last step, the first clash would be domestic. Her mother, Uncle Leopold, not to mention Cumberland. And Lehzen, who loved her more than her own mother, but who never welcomed the close relationship between Victoria and the Prime Minister. Then things would only become public after the announcement to the Privy Council. And afterwards, with an opinion that was hopefully favorable, the matter would reach the Parliament.

On the announcement to her family Victoria would have to act alone. It made no sense for Melbourne to accompany her, for he was not a suitor or an official fiancé whom the family already recognized as such. In the Privy Council he would be present because he was also a member of the Council. In Parliament he would also be present, alone. So many barriers to overcome! It would still take so much time! Victoria thought that if it were not for the fact that in practice they already had a romantic relationship, she wouldn't be able to wait until marriage. However, the danger of getting pregnant was real and marriage couldn't take too long, as it might be necessary to cover up an untimely pregnancy.

They went back to Windsor together. She wanted to enjoy the new relationship that now existed between them, and it was easier to do so at Windsor. Obviously with Harriet, Emma and Alfred Paget on their tails, but still it was a lot better than in Buckingham. This time, in addition to Skerrett, Baroness Lehzen also went.

Melbourne went to Victoria's room to get the day's work going. He stepped in, kissed her, but thought it strange that she remained very quiet looking at him as he still held her in his arms. He asked:

"What is it? Is everything all right?"

"Everything is great! Do you know what I would like?"

"No…"

"To go riding!"

"But don't we have a lot of work ahead of us?"

"We have, but I don't feel like it... I just want to walk, catch some air, be with you..."

He smiled and kissed her forehead saying:

"Very well, my dear, let us go ride! And then, when we get back, we'll concentrate on our work."

"Let us get dressed then…" She said.

They met at the entrance already dressed for the occasion.

When she saw him waiting for her, Victoria remarked provocatively:

"You look stunning in your riding boots!"

He nodded his head affirmatively and said:

"I will not forget!"

They mounted on horseback and headed for the forest zone. Alfred Paget and a groom followed behind at some distance.

They entered the forest.

After a while she said:

"I think it must have been around here that Dash was injured and I had a fight with Albert... Do you know what he told me in the middle of the argument? That I should marry you."

The surprise on Melbourne's face.

"Hum... Did the prince say that?"

"He was jealous of my relationship with you. He didn't like the intimacy that existed between us. I told him that when I was in Kensington my only friend was Dash, but that since I became Queen, I had you... and my ladies... And he exploded! He said that you were the one who told me what to think, that you controlled me, imagine that! What did he know about you? Nothing! Where was he while you were always here by my side? Did he think he would come here, so suddenly, effortlessly, never having done a thing for me, behaving like a futile, arrogant, and rude kid, and I would still propose to him?"

Melbourne sighed and said:

"And I, that day in the castle, thinking that you were finally understanding each other..."

"Why?"

"Well, when I saw Alfred Paget enter the castle alone, I asked where you were and he said that he had left with Ernest because they were superfluous..."

"What nonsense! They could have perfectly stayed!" She exclaimed indignantly.

"You have no idea how worried I was when the equerry told me this!"

"Oh my darling! How I regret hearing this! But shortly afterwards I informed you that I was not going to marry him!"

"And I was secretly so relieved for that! And at the same time very worried about how would our future be..."

Nearby some deer were frightened by their presence and fled making a noise that startled Victoria.

Recovered from the scare she asked:

"And do you want to know another very curious event?"

And then she explained:

"My Uncle Leopold pressured me to marry Albert, as you know. Then one day he went so far as to tell me that I needed to lose my virginal shyness and ask Albert to marry me. To tell this to me when I had already gone to Brocket Hall to declare myself to you! As if I needed him to encourage me... What drives us are our own feelings and not the pressure they make on us!"

"And fortunately, you kept your feelings and resisted the pressure."

She smiled.

Alfred Paget was following behind them. He was accustomed to always follow behind. Hundreds of times! Those who follow behind see much. Whoever goes ahead forgets that is being watched! For example, the way in which the riders approached each other from time to time almost touching each other... A queen would not approach a prime minister like that... He wondered, therefore, if he should stop following them and return to the castle, leaving them alone, as he had done that time he had left the Queen alone in the woods with Prince Albert. But now the situation was different, he didn't have the brother of the royal hand suitor to give him that freedom. And he couldn't make that decision for himself, only with the Queen's command. As such, he continued riding behind them. He himself had once felt in love with the Queen, but he was only a subject, had no status to get such a woman, and those thoughts had been swept away. In any case, it would only remain with him the conviction that had formed in his brain about the real nature of the relationship between the Queen and the Prime Minister.

Victoria wanted to do something crazy. She wanted to start galloping, convinced that William would follow her, or dismount and lay on the ground with him. She wanted to run and that he ran after her; that he toppled her to the ground and kissed her.

They were not alone, she couldn't do that!

She didn't tell her thoughts out loud, but William felt she was hot by the way she breathed and looked at him.

"Shall we return?" She asked.

They returned to the castle.

When they dismounted, there was an urgency in her eyes.

William noticed that.

They entered the castle; took off their hats; went upstairs. They should have separated for different bedchambers, but he took her right hand and they went, almost running, along the corridor holding hands.

He had never held her hand before, and that gesture was of indissoluble intimacy! When he took her hand to kiss it he didn't grab it completely, he didn't press it that way and didn't keep it in his hand more than the seconds needed.

The fact that in Windsor the abuses of servants were worse than in Buckingham meant that half the butlers, footmen, grooms, and chamber servants seldom came to work. This made the corridors less crowded and it was easier to go unnoticed.

In anticipation of what would follow, she felt the blood in her hand's veins throb in the compression of his hand. His footsteps were wider than hers, so she was almost dragged like a child by the hand of an adult.

He opened the door to the chambers she had given him. He entered before her, against all precedence, pulled her inside and closed the door. He grabbed her, kissed her greedily, pushed her, and pressed her body against the wall near the door!

She felt the growing enthusiasm of his body against her... She untied the scarf on his neck.

He unbuttoned her coat that she herself helped undress.

With both hands he opened her shirt violently. The corset was a frustrating block because it prevented his access to her breasts! However, it would be impossible to undress her at that time! He touched her breasts even through the frame and kissed the part of her flesh more revealed by the opened shirt as she wrapped his neck with both hands and tucked her fingers through his hair.

William stripped off his coat and vest. He pulled her skirt and petticoat up to have access to her hips and buttocks over the underwear. Then he turned her to the other side of the room and made her walk backwards kissing her repeatedly. His hands now on her face, as he kissed her. They smelled of the leather of the gloves he had taken off after the ride.

She slammed against his desk.

He grabbed her by the waist, lifted her body up and sat her on the desk.

Some papers flew to the ground...

He lifted her skirt and petticoat. It was impossible to undress her underwear that had the waistband stuck under the corset.

She spread her legs to the placement of his body and pulled his shirt from inside his pants. She thrust her hands inside his shirt and ran down his belly, chest, and back.

He searched with his right hand for the central opening of her underwear, cleverly designed so that all women could respond to the inevitable by overcoming the impossibility of undressing their underwear.

Victoria rubbed her cheek on his neck and left jaw, delirious with the warmth and touch of his hand. She felt trapped inside the corset structure with which she had to live daily. Even more trapped on this occasion! She wanted his hands and his mouth on her skin! But he couldn't reach more than what was exposed. And the swelling of her breasts and the fast breathing made the feeling of imprisonment and suffocation even greater! But that suffocation was also exciting!

He unbuttoned his pants, put his left hand on her back and pulled her closer.

He fucked her eagerly!

In riding boots!

It was relatively fast! There was not a cry or even a word. Just whispered moans and a deep breath. The place, the hour of the day and the little time that they had to carry out the act thus determined it. But prohibition and danger made it terribly exciting!

When their agitation ended – imperatively with him out of her - she kissed his exposed chest in the opening of his shirt. It was warm and sweaty.

"Is this what you wanted?" He asked.

Below his chin, still shaken by the orgasmic wave that had run through her body moments before, she shook her head affirmatively, running her nose on his skin.

"You'll have to hurry, my dear. They will miss you and realize that I also disappeared..."

They composed themselves quickly and in the best way possible after the mess generated in the clothes they wore and in their presentation. He would stay there for some time until he went to her to work, but she had to leave.

When she grabbed the door handle with her left hand she looked back and said smiling:

"Thank you!"

He looked at her, shocked, and warned:

"Please, Victoria, don't thank me for a thing like this."

She held out her right hand to him.

He grabbed it.

"I should... You make me happy!"

He smiled and closed his eyes for seconds.

Victoria dropped his hand and left.

The chambers she had given him had served for them to behave like lovers after all! And the one who had taken the initiative to use them to that end, against all initial fears, ended up being him! How was it possible that of all the women he had ever had, she was the one with whom he best related sexually? And why had she been given to him in this moment of his life?

For years there had been a sexual tension between them that had now faded.

They both thought that if they were fast enough their absence would almost not be noticed. As Paget left the horses in the stables he would think that they had went inside the castle to do something "politically correct"; and Lehzen and the ladies of the bedchamber, while Paget didn't come alone, would think they were still riding.

When Victoria left William's bedchambers she saw no one. But she was seen! Lezhen saw her leaving the door of the Prime Minister's chambers! She didn't say a thing, she didn't know how, but she stood alert.