"Well, you're coming along normally," Dr. Ludwig stated as she packed up her medical gear in the stereotypical black doctor's bag she carried.
"Normally?" I asked and by the look she gave me, and then Eric standing behind me, I could tell we both had our eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"As normal as your bastard of a demonic thing you procreated can let you be," She said snappily. "Is that what you want to hear?"
"I think what Daphne wants," Eric said passively as he put his hands on my shoulders. "Is you to not sugar coat her condition."
"Yes, well it's impossible to know her exact condition." Dr. Ludwig grumbled as she moved toward the door. Why Eric thought having my first doctor's appointment in his club was a good idea was not known to me, but I could understand why he tolerated the short, mostly rude doctor so much. She had no woes about stating her hatred for being bothered by him and therefore not a threat to lying to him about anything. "I have no precedents to study and I'll be damned if I refer to a fairytale for textual support. Her vitals appear normal but who knows what'll happen when that little devil actually develops to do some damage. In the meantime, I do not recommend you feeding from her."
"And if she were to feed from me, what would be the repercussions?"
Dr. Ludwig stopped by the door, hand raised and the other on her bag in clear impatience.
"There aren't too many cases of pregnant women feeding from vampers who weren't already addicted to the blood and other narcotics that could have caused the eventual defects," She stated as if she was reading from a text book. "However, recent testing on mice has found those fed had children more likely to survive compared to the control group – besides, your little monster is already exposed to the blood lust, you might as well indulge it."
With those hopeful parting words, she left Eric and me alone in his empty club. It was the Monday after we were reunited and he assured me it wasn't a giant loss to his business for him to be closed once more – even though the Edgington fiasco did nothing to help the vampire reputation. The severity of the backlash against him worried me even more about the secrecy of my current health status and the worded guarantees that no one outside of our circle would know didn't stop me from questioning the strength of the people that "had" to know.
I knew Sookie wouldn't tell a soul, no matter how little faith Eric had in her ability to keep her mouth shut, but I hadn't seen her in a couple of days and neither had Bill (although from his own outward appearance, I suppose that was more of her choice rather than coincidental avoidances). Selfishly, I couldn't be too worried about her, though; I was nervous about the doctor's appointment and Eric barely handled feeling that well, let alone concern for another female that "shouldn't be prioritized so high."
"I'll have to feed from other females, you know" Eric said tactfully in a quiet tone. I turned around to face him in what I knew would be a long conversation and leaned against a table only months ago I cleaned regularly.
"Because Tru Blood is just that disgusting, right?" He scoffed at the mere thought.
"I don't ask you to eat tofu, do I?" It was meant to be a playful comment, but I shook my head anyway. "Then be kind enough not to limit my sustenance."
We stared at each other a little more and surprisingly, in accordance to his character, I had no doubts about his loyalty to me. The past few days were as if I hadn't left for those months, although there was a little more hovering involved to protect his "investment". It was annoying, especially compared to living alone in a city I barely socialized in, but I imagined most of it was pre-appointment jitters as well. I fully expected to have a little more freedom after today.
"I want to start a daily regimen of feeding for you," Eric said and I imagined him already marking in his day timer all the times he expected me to suck his blood.
"And if I don't want to?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
"You heard what Dr. Ludwig said," He replied, not impressed with my attitude.
"I heard her call our child the spawn of Satan in very creative terms," I wasn't going to back down. I may be young and I may be completely new and shell-shocked to motherhood, but I was not going to tolerate someone who belittled my situation. My hand was subconsciously on my slight bump. "I understand why she has to be my doctor, but I don't have to respect her or her guesses at what's best for my baby."
"What's best for our baby is your survival and it's unknown if you will without my help."
"You can't just pick and choose what you hear from Ludwig, Eric" I was offended at his suggestion that my entire existence was based on his involvement, even if that wasn't his exact intention. "My vitals are normal for a pregnant woman-"
"You are not a normal woman," He interrupted still in his calm tone. That was either a bad sign or the sign that we'd end our discussion soon. I didn't know which one I preferred.
"No, no apparently I'm not. I'm some damned vessel who might as well kill herself after this baby comes because my purpose in life will be completed,"
With a distinct skink sound, his fangs dropped as he hissed "Don't be so stupid."
At least both of us were offended at this point, although I was touched (in the deepest part of my heart that wouldn't see the light of day) that a mention of my suicide caused such a reaction.
"Oh, I shouldn't, should I? You're the one who told me that folklore; a bit primal, but I am a mammal, aren't I? I was already a bundle of DNA coded to ensure survival to reproduce and keep the species alive, why not add a supernatural twist to further diminish any chance of my independence!"
"You do not understand," His fangs were still down and I had stopped leaning against the table because it seemed too casual, but we weren't any closer to each other.
"What don't I understand, Eric? What part of me did you gravitate to? My sparkling personality or my smell? And when I returned, you ignored like a worthless minion until you found out I actually was carrying your child. If I wasn't pregnant, would you still have taken me back, acted all caring like you have been? How much of me did you actually like and how does it compare to your lust?"
I could barely register his movement when I was suddenly back to leaning uncomfortably over the table while Eric restrained himself over me. His hands clutched the edges and I could practically see myself in his shiny front teeth, but now was not the time to primp.
"How does my being a vampire affect your love for me?" His voice was low and rumbled through my chest. He could feel my fear, I knew it, and the magnitude of it allowed him to keep steady. Apparently I took too long to answer as he roared slightly louder "Answer me!"
"I-I can't-"
"You can't distinguish me from what I am, can you?" It was unfair he could word what I had been trying to say without me knowing exactly what I wanted to say in the first place. Instead, I shook my head. "Then allow me the same courtesy. I knew you were special just as Sookie is special, but you do not see me attending to her so diligently do you?"
I didn't bother to point out that no one could actually find her to dote on, I felt too small in that moment.
"I would have allowed you a second chance when you came back, in a different, less dangerous situation – your species did influence the speed of our reunion, but I imagined you would prefer our being together quicker than you sitting alone wondering if it would happen."
It was an arrogant statement but not entirely inaccurate. I wanted to cry, oh I wanted to cry, but I had already promised myself to rein in my emotions and there was a small part of me that didn't want Eric to win yet another fight.
"I don't like being demeaned," I admitted, still leaning a little too obtusely. I had hoped he'd let up his tower as soon as his point was across, but so far no such luck. "For so long I was ignored like every other person on Earth and then suddenly I'm not normal and everyone is talking about what's best for me without addressing me or acknowledging the previous years of effort put into living my life, I had a life before this and you, Eric.
When I was 6, Josh taught me how to ride a bike and I could ride for a whole street length without training wheels on my first day – you didn't know that and you probably don't care, but I did that by myself, Josh didn't trail after me or hold onto my handle bars. I may not know what the fuck is happening in my uterus, but you don't either, and I'd really appreciate having my opinion matter."
Eric's eyes were exceedingly blue for those few minutes I focused on them. I didn't hear him retract his fangs, but I could see the pressure lessen on his lips. He leaned back and before I could fully right myself, he pulled me into a hug. Hand placed on the back of my head to his chest, I had no other option than to hug him back.
"I am highly suggesting you partake in my blood," I could feel his voice vibrate in his chest and it was all too comforting. "And I am highly suggesting it be daily, but I will not force you."
"It wouldn't stick anyway, your 'force'," I mumbled into the fabric of his shirt. "I don't have that much repressed hatred for what I am that I can't see the perks."
"No, don't, stay away from the beer," Pam less than enthusiastically reprimanded me as I stood behind the bar. Ginger's hours had been cut due to the lack of interest in vampires lately, and Pam had been called upon to pick up the slack. I'm sure the only reason she said anything at all was because when she had to explain to Eric why I was allowed behind the bar, she could truthfully say that she told me I was not welcomed.
"Pam, if Eric tries to punish you, just say I threatened you with silver or something." I said simply, shifting on my feet so that neither leg would cramp. I would have to ask for a chair to be brought back here sometime soon. "I'm pregnant and therefore not expected to think sanely."
She shrugged her shoulders and went back to ignoring the customers who wanted refills until they walked up to her.
I was seven months pregnant and already getting the odd stares from the die-hard patrons I had once interacted with. In the final accordance of a compromise, I was allowed to work until I couldn't see my own feet and afterword I was expected to sit pretty on the couch inside his office, reading a maternity book or knit a baby blanket or whatever I was supposed to be doing according to cliché. Seeing as any maternity book would not be relevant to my special case, I had no need to read nor did I feel the urge to commit to a craft that would guarantee horrendous blisters on my fingers for the first few weeks.
Still, I did sort of wish I could read maternity books. Dr. Ludwig always gave the prognosis that my vitals were exactly what they should be and that I was going through the normal trimesters, but when it came time to perform an ultrasound, it was impossible. She jellied my stomach up, but the little whirring machine only showed an inner-layer of what appeared to be skin. It was strange how she could clearly hear the heartbeat of my child, but not even see it or penetrate the womb with the needle used to take amniotic fluids for prenatal disease testing. We all figured it was once more a feature attached to being a vessel, a dinosaur egg-like shell formed within my uterus around the actual egg to prevent any damage.
While the thought of that sort of protection was comforting, it was also troublesome; I couldn't find out the sex of my child or even what exactly it was and there was no sure way to know how Eric's blood was affecting "it". I had decided to only partake in two feedings (drinkings, really) a week because I really preferred not being nearly as affected by his blood as I previously was, and who knew how susceptible I'd become if I drank every day - pregnant or not.
Sookie was still missing and even with Eric's assurances that he'd feel her in trouble, I couldn't help but worry. In the short time we'd known each other, she became a surrogate sister and one of the only people I'd prefer knowing about my condition. Bill's sudden rise to royalty did not do well to assuage my feelings toward his knowing; he was a gentleman whenever we interacted, but the idea that he was so apt at politics that he became King did not make me feel like I would stay hidden on the supernatural radar just because we had cordial interactions. Ginger of course knew I was pregnant, but not with Eric's child and she was astounded when she saw that we were indeed together again. I didn't blame her and she shrugged it off as another vampire thing that wasn't in her job description.
"Pam, correct me if I'm wrong," The familiar voice of Eric wafted into my ears. Previously, he had been holing up in his basement – on the phone plotting something most likely sinister. "But this does not look like my office; I remember it having a little more light,"
"It smelled nauseatingly of lavender Febreeze," Pam quipped without even turning around.
"And had less drunk people allowed in it,"
I merely looked at Eric with a small smile, a look a small puppy would most likely get away with.
"It's boring in there," I said, still shifting a little.
"I told you to bring something with you," Eric retorted as if I was his daughter.
"And I said it'd be more entertaining to be out in the club, I've really grown fond over the dingy décor and gyrating of your patrons."
"At least get a chair if you're going to suffer out here, you look like a perturbed cat."
"I tried to bribe Pam to get one for me with the offer of no longer having to be the godmother, but she didn't budge. If I didn't know better, I'd say she likes her involvement in our preparations for the baby." I said as she turned around, not amused.
As Eric's "first-born", she'd already be in our child's life but I thought she deserved a title and seeing as my first choice, Sookie, was missing, I figured godmother would fit. When I first told her, Eric watching in the background like I promised he could when I suggested it to him, she practically retched and sarcastically asked whether her duties included wearing a fuzzy tiara and carrying around a wand.
I had no intention of forcing her into his/her's life more-so than she wanted, but it was fun to tease her about it regardless.
It was odd to see Eric so paternal; he participated in every test and meeting that Dr. Ludwig performed and held and asked Pam to help me decorate a spare bedroom in his house for the nursery almost immediately after that first doctor's visit. We both told him it was too early and it was comical how out of his habitat he was when it came to anything dealing with children. I wasn't too worried about him being a father though; while I hoped my child wouldn't end up as snarky or apathetic as Pam was in the very beginning, I knew through their interactions he was perfectly apt at taking someone under his wing.
He did constantly touch my stomach, though – more-so than Ginger and she did not hold back her excitement towards my pregnancy in any way. I could feel the baby's movements, every finger flex and head tilt. I didn't need a doctor or a book to know that wasn't normal, but it was down-right heartwarming to feel the baby's movements toward Eric's hands whenever they were on me. I was getting too cheesy as my pregnancy wore on and I tried my hardest not to let it show.
We had a plan for when I did go into labor. We'd travel to the nearest hospital, assuming I could wait until night fall to go to the hospital, and after the delivery occurred, all of the doctors and nurses involved (including the notary detailing the birth certificate) would be glamored to never remember my labor or recording the birth. It wasn't too specified, but neither was my pregnancy, so at least it was consistent.
It was mundane to play the waiting game, but it was all we had left to do.
A/N: Forgive me for waiting for this long in writing the chapter - I just was not inspired at all and it probably shows. There's only one more chapter left, though, so be prepared...
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