Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Gaston Leroux, Andrew Lloyd Webber, etc own them. No copyright infringement intended. I'm just using these for fun.
Author's Note: My online friend, Nicolebsb from Neopets (and Gaia), created the character of Helene. All sections about Helene and thoughts, speech, etc. are all hers. I am writing the general stuff, plus Madame Giry, Meg, and Erik.
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New Beginnings: Chapter Twelve
Helene looked up at everyone, suddenly frowning at all of their expressions. No one looked too happy with what she said. She looked over at Meg when she spoke. Helene felt confused. Erik just told her she didn't have to learn to sing if she didn't want to, so why did everyone seem so irritated? She was unaware that anyone would be losing anything by her not singing, especially Helene herself. She wouldn't lose her dignity if she didn't sing; neither would she lose her pride.
"We'll be right back," Meg gasped out. She grabbed Helene's hand and practically dragged her to the edge of the lake. They had to talk. Helene stood and followed after Meg, looking just as confused as ever, by this point. Inside, Madame Giry and Erik waited patiently, not knowing exactly what was going on. Erik gave Madame Giry a puzzled glance, and she in turn shrugged her shoulders. They would just have to wait for the girls to return. Meg looked right at Helene. "Want to tell me what's going on?" Meg asked her.
"What do you mean? I don't want to learn to sing! Did I not just make that clear to everyone? You heard your mother and Erik! I am meant to sing hidden among other voices! That means I am bad at singing. I do not care how much those two put frosting on it, it still is as bitter as ever!" Helene suddenly burst out, her expression finally looking hurt and disappointed.
"As usual, the idiotic, ugly, ungraceful, untalented Irish girl is supposed to just sit behind beautiful people like you! I just wanted so badly to have hope of being a good singer; to be noticed by someone! And now, I am told there is no hope whatsoever for me to ever be anything more than a chorus girl!" she burst out, sounding like someone who had had their hopes too high. "But, of course, who am I kidding? As if anyone would want me anywhere besides under the stage?" she said sadly, talking about the instrumental box in the Opera. It seemed Erik and Madame's words had only hurt Helene instead of helping her. "I knew I was no good, but to be told it feels completely horrible! That is what is going on," she finished, seeming out of breath and out of heart. She found herself completely in turmoil right now. She had come here expecting hope, and she ended up just having it stripped away from her soul: to be told that Paris does not, and will never, think she was good at singing.
"What are you talking about?" Meg asked her, biting back an angry retort. Helene seemed to have twisted things, and Meg didn't know what to do about it. She gave Helene a look. "No one told you that you weren't any good! They believe in you! Christine started out as a lowly chorus girl, ten times worse than you! And look what happened! Just because now they think you'd benefit from being in a duo or trio doesn't mean that a solo part isn't coming down the road! I've got no better voice than you! In fact, you have a higher potential to become a star than I do!" Meg paused, trying to keep calm. "I'm not that great looking, so I don't know where you get that I'm a swan and you're this ugly duckling. You're beautiful! I wish you'd believe it! Your looks are different, but that doesn't mean that you're ugly! And since when don't you want to learn to sing! That's what you came to Paris for, right?" Meg began pacing.
"They wouldn't be fighting so hard for you if both of them in there didn't believe you were worth it," she said, pointing towards the underground apartment. "You're very talented, and you're not an idiot." She gave a frustrated sigh, wishing Helene would truly listen to what they were saying and believe in herself. "I'm just a stupid dancer, and I never have a prayer to be solo on the stage; yet, I'm willing to have Erik train me because he is the best. I have faith in him, and I'm not willing to throw that all away. I have faith that he wants to bring something new and different to the Opera House. I believe him when he says that he won't leave you in the background. I was actually looking forward to singing together with you." She gave an upset shrug. "It's up to you. I don't know what else to say." Meg wanted to storm off back inside, but she didn't want to make a scene. She looked back at Helene, who seemed like she were about to explode.
"I don't want to hurt myself more!" Helene suddenly shouted, her voice echoing through the cave-like area as she curled her fists and glared at Meg. "If they thought I had any ability to sing as a soloist, they would have said that instead of continuing to repeat I have to hide behind other voices! Don't you get it, Meg? They don't think I have any potential, or else they would have said I did," she snapped, starting to shake either with upset or anger; it was hard to tell right then.
Suddenly, though, it became perfectly obvious, because tears started running down her cheeks. She really had thought she could become something more than a lowly instrumental player. She just felt completely awful, and no one was helping; Meg wasn't helping by getting angry, and Erik and Madame weren't helping by continuing to tell her that she wasn't good enough to be a soloist. Once had been enough. She fell to the ground, sitting on the stone floor with her hands grabbing at her hair in a really upset way.
"I don't want to be laughed at! Not anymore, Meg. If they do not think I am any good, then no one else will. And do not bother with that 'you are beautiful' talk. You are my friend; you are obligated to say that. My whole life, no man has called me beautiful, or even slightly pretty! I do not want to go on stage anymore than I have to. I am not even sure I want to dance!" she said a bit more quietly.
Meg didn't know what else to say anymore. Helene wasn't hearing anything she said, and there were only so many ways she could explain things. She wasn't sure how to proceed, but she knew she had to make her friend understand. She couldn't let her friend just give up.
"No one's laughing at you! And they said you DO have potential! I don't know why you aren't hearing it!" Meg responded, exasperated. She would KILL for this chance and Helene was WAY better than she was. "I'm not obligated to say anything as your friend, and I don't patronize people. I say things as they are, not just to make people feel good. You do have a talent, and you've got two loving people in there that want to help. I don't know what else to say. If you want to get to the next level, your ticket's in there," she told Helene, gesturing inside. She threw her hands up in defeat. "I can't make you train. It's your decision. I just think you're making a HUGE mistake. If that's your decision, then YOU go back and explain. I'm at a loss here."
Meg turned away, trying desperately to hold back tears. She could understand her friend's reservations, and yet she couldn't understand why Helene was willing to give up. Did she want to live in poverty and be invisible the rest of her life? Meg was so upset it took all of her not to start bawling right there. Helene shook her head.
"It isn't them who laugh at me, Meg! Do you not understand whom I am speaking of? It's everyone ELSE who laughs at me!" Helene said in an exasperated tone. Meg had thought that when Helene had said what she had said that she had meant that Erik and Madame had been the ones who were mocking her. It was never them she was worried about. Then again, Helene felt guilty when she finally realized how pained Meg seemed. She sighed and buried her face in her knees. She sat on the cold stone floor, contemplating on what she should do. She didn't think she had any sort of chance out in the singing world, not by what Erik continued to tell her. Then again, Meg seemed very flustered over this. She wouldn't be fighting so hard if she didn't WANT Helene to do this.
"I..." Helene faded off, not knowing what to do. Guilt pulled her towards the want of singing with Erik, for whatever reason Meg wanted her to do this so badly. Stage fright and what everyone else might think of her pulled her towards not wanting to sing. "Why do you want me to join so badly?" she asked, looking up finally. She hoped to get an answer to her conflict in what Meg might explain to her...
Meg gave Helene a searching look, not wanting to say more to scare her off. She stood there for a minute, at a loss for words, feeling helpless. She cast her gaze across the lake, searching deep within herself for the words to make Helene understand.
"I want you to keep singing because I see something in you. You have this light, this spark when you sing. You light up when you sing and I can tell how much you love music. When you sing and when you play, you carry your listeners on your journey." She paused, hoping she was explaining adequately. "You have this gift that I can't even hope to ever have. You just have that something. No matter what you think, when people hear you, they will love you. You can make them feel exactly what you are feeling." Meg stopped speaking and just waited. She wanted Helene to recognize her talents herself. Meg walked out to the lake edge and slowly knelt down. She dipped her fingers gently into the freezing waters and gazed into its depths, giving Helene time to think.
Helene listened, but didn't believe a word. She sighed, figuring she had repeated herself enough to get her point across. 'If I am so wonderful and perfect,' she thought bitterly, 'then why did Madame and Erik have to push so hard to tell me that I would only ever be good enough to sing behind someone?' she asked herself. She wanted to voice this aloud but instead kept her feelings to herself. She watched as Meg walked about, lost in her thoughts, trying to decide what to do.
After a few moments, Meg stood up and walked back to her friend. She sat down next to her and put an arm around Helene's shoulders, wordlessly offering support. Helene gave a weak smile when Meg put an arm around her.
"I will continue this for you. I don't believe what you say, but I feel that I should at least keep you company during lessons," Helene offered, obviously not convinced of her talents. After all, she knew she was great with playing music, but singing? She knew she was awful, but to have it told to her was the worst part: she had always hated criticism. After all, all her life, she had only ever gotten negative opinions; so after a while, she just thought she was awful and that everyone hated her singing. 'Ah well,' she decided. What of that beautifully voiced man, Erik? Could he do anything to make her voice sound like his? What she wouldn't give for a voice like that, but it was probably a born talent. She probably would be awful her whole life.
Meg's blue eyes searched Helene's green ones to see if this was truly what Helene wanted, although Helene remained undecipherable to Meg. Meg took a deep breath and took her friend's hand.
"Let's go back inside. They're waiting," Meg said lightly, not wanting Helene to change her mind. Carefully, Helene stood up, holding onto Meg's hand.
"Let's go back in," Helene agreed with a friendly smile. "Thank you. It is awfully nice of you to deal with me like that," she said, trying to sound cheerful again.
"You're welcome," Meg said casually, not wanting to bring the mood back down to its heaviness. Meg knew her mother would be anxiously waiting and she feared just what Erik might do. She sincerely hoped that he wouldn't wash his hands of the whole mess. Her stomach fluttering, Meg led Helene back inside.
Back inside, Madame Giry could feel her growing anxiety. She hoped this whole thing wouldn't backfire. Meg, of all people, could help Helene see what they were trying to say. Wordlessly, she placed her hand gently on Erik's arm for support, and then she withdrew to the couch. She sat quietly, patiently waiting for what was to happen next. Erik glanced at Madame Giry, feeling confused about the whole situation. He knew he was out of touch with women, but he didn't even know where to start at the moment. He resumed his pacing, wishing he knew what to do.
