The Short Unhappy Life of Mail Jeevas
Part 12
Sex became a big part in our relationship.
We weren't lovers, or anything like that, we were still just Best Friends. Nothing more, and nothing less.
I was never in love with Mello, and I hope that Mello was never in love with me…I never did ask if he was or if he wasn't…
There were a lot of things I never asked him…
I regret that now.
For five minutes I should have paused my games or worked up the urge to ask him something. I know there were plenty of times where he would have probably told me anything I asked him.
I never found out when he met L, what he would do if we did defeat Kira, when he came to Wammy's, who I was to him, where he wanted to go when he died, and why he didn't want me to fall in love with him…
I wish at one point I had asked at least one of these questions…Sadly, I never did.
-x-
December 19th 2009
"Matt, put some clothes on and go get me some more chocolate."
I gave a yawn and sat up in the bed, rubbing my eyes. "Whatever you want, Mello." I got up out of the bed and began putting my clothes back on.
-x-
I placed the bags of chocolate on the floor, taking one bar out of the bag. Mello was busily typing away on the laptop. "We should get another computer."
I gave a slight shrug and tossed him the chocolate bar. "Good idea."
"We're moving places the day after tomorrow." I gave a nod and sat back on the bed, grabbing my Game Boy from the side table.
-x-
December 20th 2009
I think that in the case of repeating myself, I shall skip right to the end of our daily sex as I believe that this is supposed to be the story of my life, and not an Erotic Novel.
We lay there panting for a minute or two, just trying to catch our breath.
"Hey, Mello?"
Said blond gave a soft yawn. He was always in a good mood after pleasure. "Huh?"
I wanted to ask him why he didn't want me to fall in love with him. "You going to have a shower or can I have the first one?" Huh? Why did I ask that instead?
"Hmmm? Oh, sure, I'll have a shower tomorrow morning."
I nodded and got off of Mello. He rolled over and I got off the bed.
This apartment was larger than the last one and actually had a double bed instead of a single one. It made no real distance to me.
I partly closed the bathroom door behind me instinctively, but I didn't close it fully in case Mello wanted to join me in the shower. I looked myself in the mirror slightly. I think I had lost some weight since I'd moved to Japan. Weird.
I walked to the shower and turned the knobs until it was at an appropriate temperature.
-x-
Mello was fast asleep when I exited the bathroom. I pulled my boxers back on and crawled into the bed with him. Mello looked so peaceful when he was asleep…I put an arm around him and pulled my best friend to my chest, falling asleep not soon after.
-x-
December 21st 2009
I woke up to find that Mello was also conscious. He was delicately running a hand through my soft red locks. "Didn't I tell you not to fall in love with me, Matt?"
I blinked softly at him and gave a yawn. "I haven't."
"Good."
-x-
December 25th 2009
I was walking back to the apartment after being sent out to buy Mello another laptop. It was Christmas Day. I was nearing the apartment, when I suddenly heard the sound of laughter. A few metres in front of me was a young Japanese boy, probably about the age of 5 or 6, kicking a brand new ball up into the air.
I watched as the boy continued to play with the toy. As I neared him, I watched as he kicked the ball a bit too hard. It bounced away from him and onto the busy road. He was about to run out to get it.
I quickly ran the last few steps and grabbed the little boy before he walked out onto the road. A pitch black car drove past on the street. If I hadn't have stopped the boy, he would most certainly have gotten hit by it.
"My baby!" I looked up as a woman with long hair was running towards the two of us. She was probably about the age of 23.
"Mummy!" I let go of the child and he ran towards his mother, flinging his small arms around the woman. The runt was actually crying. I took a drag of my cigarette, and continued to walk as if nothing had happened.
"Sir…Thank you so much for saving my son…"
I stopped and turned around to look at the pair. A soft, childish smile graced my lips. "Merry Christmas."
-x-
I entered the apartment to find Mello sitting on one of the two wooden chairs. The curtain to the window had been drawn back. The blond looked up at me. "I saw you save that boy's life."
I closed the door and took the cigarette out of my mouth. "If he had taken two steps onto the road, I wouldn't have tried."
The blond tilted his head to the side slightly, giving me a new expression which I somehow couldn't decipher. "What if he had taken one step onto the road?"
With my free hand, I moved my goggles to my forehead. I smiled at my best friend immaturely. "I would probably be dead right now."
Mello frowned at me and stood up. "Don't you DARE do anything so risky! You're the only one who can help me capture Kira! If you die, then I might as well be dead as well! For what? To save the life of some little fucking 6 year old? Who gives a flying fuck if a little runt gets run over by some random car? It's not like you'll be going to hell if you don't save someone's life, it's not your fault that they fucking died!"
…Was Mello telling me that it wasn't my fault that Julia had died?
I looked down at the floor for a few soundless seconds. Mello mustn't have known about Mercy…I smiled at him softly.
No, he had told me that it was my fault that Julia had died, so it was therefore my fault.
"I'm sorry, Mello. You're right; it's just a stupid six year old boy. I promise you it won't happen again." I walked forward to Mello and passed him the plastic bag. "I got you something extra."
Mello blinked and me and looked into the plastic bag. Swimming in the many bars of chocolate was a motorbike helmet. Mello pulled it out of the bag and looked at it. "…Matt…"
"Merry Christmas."
Mello examined the helmet, looking at it all over. "I got you something too. It's under your pillow." I blinked at the blond and then looked over at the bed. "What are you waiting for? Go see what it is, idiot."
I gave a slight nod and moved over to said bed, lifting up the pillow on the left side. My gloved hands lifted the soft cushion up, revealing the shiny present from underneath it. I picked it up and placed the pillow back down, examining the gift closely. It was a shiny black leather Cigarette Case with a silver metal trim. I opened it to find that it was already filled with death sticks. Didn't Mello hate me smoking? I turned back to him questionably.
"If you're not going to give up that disgusting habit, at least do it in style."
I stared blankly down at the Cigarette Case before placing it onto the bedside table soundlessly. I turned around and walked back to Mello, putting one arm around his neck. My other arm snaked around his waist as I pulled my best friend close to me. Our lips became locked in a kiss which was oddly passionate.
Never had we ever had a kiss with so much feeling, and we never did again.
I didn't realise what this meant at the time, but only now have I finally come to a conclusion of the kiss.
It was a sign.
I was capable of falling in love with Mello.
But I didn't act on it, and the possibility slipped away…I wonder if Mello acted upon this feeling though…As they say, it takes two to tango, so Mello must have felt the same feeling as I had from the kiss…
Mello was capable of falling in love with me as well…He was smarter than me, and more aware of emotions…He must have realised what the passion in the kiss meant…
-x-
December 31st 2009
New Year's Eve.
Mello and I sat on the white couch of our apartment, watching the TV. It was time for the 60th annual NHN New Year's Music Show. Mello was making me watch it, even though I really wasn't the music type. Plus Takada was the host…Oh, how I hated her. I still hate her, actually.
Takada was currently announcing the show. "Only a few hours until the New Year, folks. Hi, I'm Kiyomi Takada, and 2009 has been a year of many breakthroughs for me. And to top off all those breakthroughs, I've been honoured to be selected as this years Music Show host. And next to me we have Ami Hamasaki to support the ladies of the Red Team. Ami will be playing Oryo in next year's historical drama, Sakamoto Ryoma."
The girl standing next to the bitc- I mean, Takada, smiled at the acknowledgement. "I'm going to cheer on for the Red Team with all my might!"
"And Hideki Ryuga will be supporting the men on the White Team!"
"Thanks. We may play a couple in the Drama, but today Oryo's my enemy. Get ready to see her team go down!"
Ami gave a competitive, playful expression. "That's my line, Ryoma!"
"Now there is something I must apologize to all the viewers for at this point. Unfortunately, Misa-Misa, AKA, Misa Amane, who was scheduled to start the show has not yet arrived."
…Misa Amane…Wasn't that the girl whom Mello and I had been stalking a few weeks ago?
"Lady Takada, I guess this is part of doing a live show, isn't it? And it's just like Misa-Misa to be late, anyway."
"That's right. Who knows what's going to happen next! So you have to keep your eye on this show!"
"Don't worry, everybody, the Red Team isn't going to back down just yet!"
"In Misa-Misa's stead, we have Ayame Asaoka, who earlier received the grand prize at the CD awards."
A young girl with black hair gave a wave to the audience. "Hi. Don't worry, I'll do my best!"
"And she'll be singing 'Kira's Dazzling World'!"
The lights turned down and the spotlight landed on the girl, Ayame, as she took centre stage. She closed her eyes and began to sing passionately into her microphone.
"Those who seek of Kira's light,
You all must join in the fight.
My message to those who've soared,
As we are all led toward,
Kira's Dazzling World.
Perhaps if we do sing our life,
We will never live in strife,
Sing of all those we adored
As we are all led toward,
Kira's Dazzling World.
So the criminals will be slain,
All theirs sins shall end in shame,
And their cries will be ignored,
As we are all led toward,
Kira's Dazzling World.
Oh, look at us standing here,
Oh, look at us without a fear.
Let's sing a song of our Lord,
As we are all led toward,
Kira's Dazzling World."
The crowed cheered and I stood up. Mello looked at me, almost confused. "This is boring."
Mello didn't say anything as I made my way back to the bed, picking up my Nintendo 3DS Prototype.
-x-
January 1st 2010
New Year's Day. One month to my Birthday. 26 days to my death day.
Mello had actually made me dye my hair. My once naturally red locks were now a greenish brown. Even Mello agreed that my hair looked better before, but it would be for the best since brown was less eye-catching than apple red.
…
I still didn't like my new hair colour…But I didn't dare disobey Mello's judgement.
…
Heh…Maybe you were right Mello…I was a dog.
…
-x-
January 4th 2010
This was the day we both found out that Mello was Pregnant…Only Joking! Ha ha, I just wanted to mess with your mind. Ha ha.
So anyway, this brings me onto a quite important topic. My characterisation. I bet you have pictured me as some bleak, emo, hypocritical, low-self-esteemed, Holden Caulfield crossed with Monsieur Meursault type…And you're probably right…
But there is more to me than that. You may remember near the beginning of my story that I was telling you how stubborn I was. I still am stubborn, actually. I am stubborn, and even though I am no longer soundless, I am still voiceless.
Now don't think of me as some cold, bleak, pain in the ass…Okay, so maybe I am a pain in the ass (to Mello)…But look, I just made a joke! I do have a sense of humour after all.
I'm still human.
…Wait…
Isn't that a bad thing?
Well, I guess I am a hypocrite after all. I suck.
