Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater. He belongs to Maka. ;)


Chapter 12: First Mission Ever Part III


Soul didn't know what was going on. He didn't know why his meister was frozen in place. What he did know was that he had to protect her. And he was going to do so with his life, which was precisely why he took the knife for her. It grazed his side, but it still cut open a wound. Soul gritted his teeth and shouted at his meister.

"Maka! Pull yourself together!"

Still no reply.

Soul cursed and turned. He grabbed his meister by her arm, flung her onto his back, and started running. The kishin egg followed in close pursuit. Soul shouted at his meister as he ran.

"Maka! Snap out of it! Maka!"

She was gripping him with a strength similar to when she held on to him on the motorcycle.

When she held on to him for dear life.

Soul cursed. Now he understood. That feeling that she was trying to hide from him throughout the day… it was fear. It had been building up and up because the stupid girl just couldn't let it out and talk to him about it. How many times had he told her to trust him? Why couldn't she listen just once? Now, since they didn't take care of it while it was small, it had grown and was controlling her mind.

Soul ran around several corners and stopped to catch his breath and listen. The footsteps behind them had vanished. He regarded his dark surroundings suspiciously. From behind him came a quite chuckle.

Soul cursed and took off like the wind. He sprinted down alleyways and barely slowed down around corners. He pumped his legs, suddenly grateful for all that hellish training he had to endure. He ignored the burning pain that was beginning to develop in his muscles, focused only on keeping himself and his meister alive. Turn after turn, the darkness persisted, as did their pursuer. Finally, when he felt that his legs couldn't possibly move another inch, he saw light.

Yes!

Soul slowed down as he reached the opening and listened again.

No sign of their pursuer.

Did we lose him?

Warily, Soul ventured out onto the brightly lit street. Maka still hadn't made a single movement. Soul dumped her onto a trash bag and looked furiously at her.

"Maka! Snap out of it now!" he shouted. She shivered where she laid, her limbs drooping limply and her eyes staring fearfully at nothing. All the confidence was gone. All the Maka Albarn was gone.

There was only terror.

"Maka!"

She blinked.

Soul groaned and pulled at his hair with frustration. He was angry at her for trying to handle it all on her own. He was angry at himself for not figuring it out sooner and helping her with it.

Soul kneeled down and grabbed his meister by her shoulders.

"Maka, look at me!" he said. Slowly, her terrified eyes gazed at him.

"Get it together!" Soul shouted. "Are you listening to me, Maka?"

She shook uncontrollably, but she made a motion that was hopefully a nod.

"Don't give up before you even fight! There's absolutely nothing to be afraid of!"

Another nod.

"You're gonna make me the world's strongest Death Scythe, right? So you can stick it to your womanizing dad, right?! How are we supposed to do that if you can't even fight one kishin egg?"

She wasn't shaking anymore, but her eyes still had that terrified gaze.

"Are you listening to me? There's nothing to be afraid of! I'm here to protect you! This guy's a piece of cake! He's nothing compared to Sid!"

She opened her mouth.

"Soul…"

He groaned with relief. Maka said something.

She finally said something.

She wasn't back to full-blown, fire-breathing, book-slamming yet, but at least it was a start.

"S-soul…"

"What?"

"L-look out! Behind you!"


Time seemed to slow down.

The kishin egg towered behind Soul with his hand raised. The blade was poised and ready to strike, hovering like a deadly snake. The man's grin stretched sadistically from ear to ear, promising pain and doom. The terror gripped her once more.

It was here. It was coming. Death was coming.

The knife closed in for the kill.

And something clicked inside of Maka.

Don't give up before you even fight!

What had she been thinking?

There's nothing to be afraid of!

He'd been protecting her ever since they became partners.

I'm here to protect you!

Hell, he'd been protecting her before they became partners.

It'll be fine, Maka!

Why should she doubt him now?

This guy's a piece of cake!

Why would she doubt anything he said?

Do you trust me, Maka?

Do I?...

"Soul! Transform!"

Her weapon immediately did as he was told, morphing into a deadly scythe. The last to go was his sharp-toothed grin. Maka grabbed the weapon and kicked upwards with both her feet. The man fell back with a grunt. Maka leapt to her feet and took a deep breath.

She was scared. She was terrified that she was going to die. But she knew that Soul would protect her. She knew she had to fight. So she willed her body to move, despite its screaming protests, despite the horrifying fear that clutched her, despite every instinct to run.

The man grinned evilly and advanced.

Maka held her ground.

Then the man lunged. For a split moment, Maka was frozen with fear again, but she steeled herself.

I'm here to protect you!

Maka dodged to the side and swung her scythe in a wide arc. The man blocked the blade with his knife just in time. Maka brought her knee up and slammed the kishin egg in the stomach. He gasped and fell back. Maka hefted the scythe, preparing for the next attack. The man recovered. They stood and regarded one another for a moment. Then the kishin egg advanced again, this time more slowly. Maka made a daring move.

She attacked first, swinging her scythe wide. The man was caught by surprise. He barely deflected the blow but then threw a punch at Maka. She couldn't dodge it in time. She fell back with a yelp.

"Maka! Are you alright!?"

She sat there, frozen with fear once more. The pain was real. It was deadly. It was terrifying.

I can't do this! I can't do this!

"Maka! Get up!"

She tried but she couldn't. She was shaking again.

"Maka!" Soul shouted.

She jolted and regained control of her body. The man made a stab for her throat. Maka willed her body to move. She jabbed the butt of the scythe outwards, hitting the man in the stomach and keeping his knife just barely out of reach. He gasped again and stumbled backwards. Maka clambered to her feet, still shaking, but holding her scythe firmly.

"Breathe, Maka. You gotta breathe."

She took a shuddering gasp of air. She could hear her heart pumping. Her body was tensed and screaming with terror. She gripped Soul firmly and the screaming lessened. The kishin egg stared at her and she stared back. Neither moved. Seconds ticked by, and her nerve went with them.

One-

Two-

Sweat trickled down her forehead-

Three-

The anxiety-

The anticipation-

Four-

She couldn't help it.

She blinked.

In an instant, the kishin egg was upon her. Maka screamed and leapt back, squeezing her eyes shut. She heard Soul call her name and she opened them. The kishin egg made a stab for her. She dodged it and swung the scythe. The kishin egg dodged her attack in return. The two opponents danced in this fashion, biting and pulling back alternately like fencers locked in a duel.

"Careful, Maka. Don't let the knife get too close. We have a longer reach," Soul instructed.

Maka tried to do as she was told, threatening the man to back off with her scythe. The kishin egg held his ground. Maka waved her scythe closer but then the man suddenly attacked. Maka yelped.

She stepped back-

And tripped over a trash bag.

A smile of triumph stretched across the man's face. He closed in for the kill.

Maka screamed-

The knife descended-

She closed her eyes-

Heard her name-

And-

The scythe-

Almost moving on its own-

And-

A cry of pain-

Blood-

Blood everywhere-

Blood-

So warm-

And-

The kishin egg reared back, screaming in agony. Maka opened her eyes as she felt warm liquid splatter onto her face.

Blood.

Rich, red, and dark.

The man screamed and grasped the stub of his hand. It had been sliced off. The knife lay harmlessly on the ground.

"Maka! Now's our chance!" Soul shouted.

But she could hardly control her body.

Blood.

Oh god it was so red.

So dark.

"Maka! Move!"

She jolted upright. The man staggered and tried to run.

"Now, Maka!"

She stood on her shaky legs.

"He's getting away!"

She took a step-

Then another-

She lifted her scythe-

Another step-

Her target staggered-

His hand-

So much blood-

The blade glinted in the moonlight-

The man turned-

She was upon him-

The scythe raised-

And the look in his eyes-

So much terror-

His face contorted-

Tried to scream-

Pure terror-

The blade fell-

Passed through his body-

Made sickening noises-

And his face-

Convulsing-

With mouth agape-

A scream she hardly heard-

A scream of pain-

Of death-

With eyes bulging-

Tongue constricting-

Every inch of face-

Showing pure torment-

Showing everything-

The pain-

Agony-

Loss-

Regret-

Anguish-

Suffering-

And above all else-

The fear…

...

Oh god, what have I done?


Soul pulled free of the kishin egg. By some magical force, the two halves of its body turned into black blobs and vanished. In its place floated a glowing red soul. Maka let go and Soul grinned with triumph as he returned to his human form.

"We did it, Maka!" he said.

He eagerly stepped forward and grabbed the soul. It was the first time he had ever touched one. It felt squishy to his touch, but at the same time weighed absolutely nothing. Soul grinned, feeling drool coming out the side of his mouth already.

"We got our first soul ever!"

He turned to see his meister's reaction. To his utter shock, she had sunk to her knees and was shaking badly- even worse than when the kishin egg was alive.

"Maka! What's wrong?" Soul cried, but before he knew it, his meister had emptied her fish salad onto the sidewalk in a disgusting puddle. Soul let go of the soul in his hand and rushed to Maka's side. He kneeled down and placed his hand on her shoulder, but the moment he made contact, she jolted and gave a squeak of terror. Soul let go in surprise as if he was hit with electricity. Another convulsion, and more fish salad came up. Soul shuddered but didn't leave his meister's side. Then, all at once, Maka was pressed against his chest, shaking uncontrollably.

She was crying.

"Soul!" she sobbed.

"Wha… what?" Soul stuttered, completely shocked by the sudden change in her condition. Her light voice was strangled into wails of terror.

"M-Maka?"

He was unsure of what to do. He had never seen her cry this much before. He had never seen her so weak.

The short-tempered, book-wielding, fire-breathing Maka Albarn was crying.

"S-Soul… I- I-"

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know how. He sat there hesitantly, unmoving, as she cried.

Soul watched as his meister's shaking grew worse. Finally, he made a decision. Awkwardly, slowly, he wrapped his arms around her shivering body.

"I-It's alright, Maka," he said, but was cut off by her shaky voice.

"I- I- I… I was so scared!"

Soul stiffened in surprise.

"I was… I was so close to death! You were so close to death! We were inches away from death!"

Still unsure of the best course of action, Soul tried rubbing her back. It did nothing to help.

"Even after you- you… calmed me down… I was still so scared!"

Soul listened to her cries gravely as she shook in his arms.

"And then… when I c-cut off his hand… there was so much blood!"

She buried her face into his chest, her breaths ragged and desperate.

"And- and- and… r-right before I killed him… I saw- I saw… his eyes and-"

She took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Oh god, the look in his eyes! He was scared too! He didn't want to d-die either! But I killed him! I- I- I- k-"

Her voice broke off with a shudder. For a moment, she looked like she was going to vomit again, but she held it in.

"I… I killed him! B-because if I didn't, he- he'd kill us! Why did this have to happen, Soul?"

Her tears seeped through his jacket, mixed with the man's blood that was still on her face.

"What have I done!? Did he… did he have a family? Will they hate me now? Will they hate me for k-killing him? Oh god! What have I done?"

Her shaking grew worse and worse. Soul tried to soothe her by rubbing her back and rocking back and forth. She cried and cried and cried.

"It's alright, Maka," Soul said quietly. "It's alright."

"But I k-killed someone! A-and when I did it… the look on his face! There was- there was every painful emotion ever! And I caused it! I-I'm a monster!"

"Maka," Soul growled. "You're not a monster. That kishin egg was the real monster."

She shook but quieted down as he continued to say calming words.

"You didn't kill anyone, Maka. You just got rid of a monster, that's all. It's alright. Everything's alright."

He continued to rock her back and forth, repeating those calming words over and over.

"It's alright. It's alright."

She sniffled and shook but he gently rubbed her back, soothing her.

"Everything's alright. Everything's alright."

Slowly but surely, her sobbing lessened, and the tears stopped their steady flow.

"You didn't kill anyone today, Maka."

The shaking gradually reduced as his meister returned to serenity. The tension within her loosened, the venom leaving through her steadily calming sobs. Finally, the shaking stopped. After a moment longer she gently pulled away from him and spoke.

"Thanks, Soul. I'm feeling better now," she smiled.

Relief flooded his whole body.

"No problem," Soul grinned.

"But… you're wrong, Soul."

Soul frowned at her.

"I did kill someone today. That fact won't change," she began. "Pretending that I didn't is just running away from the truth, and I'm not going to do that. I'm going to face it here and now and move on. After all, how am I supposed to make you a death scythe if I break down after every fight?"

Soul grinned with approval.

"That's the girl I partnered with," he said.

Maka giggled.

"Then, how about this?" Soul suggested. "Before you fight someone, you declare their name, their crimes, and that you are here for their soul. That way, you're not running away from the truth at all."

Maka considered it for a moment and then broke into a smile.

"Horace Malady. Mass murderer known for killing his victims with blunt objects. I am here for your soul," she said with fake menace.

"Sounds cool, doesn't it?" Soul grinned.

Maka giggled with agreement.

But then she froze.

Soul's heart skipped a beat.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Maka whispered, pulling closer to him once more.

"Yeah…"

Mass murderer known for killing his victims with blunt objects.

"That man had a knife."

"Which means…"

From behind them there was a footstep. Soul jumped and whirled around to look at the dark alleyway behind them. His heart raced at a million beats per minute.

From the darkness stepped out a man wielding a massive crowbar that lay lazily on his shoulder. Soul took a sharp breath.

It was their waiter from the restaurant.

Lazily, the man grabbed the discarded soul floating in the air and ate it in a gulp. He relished in its taste with a smack of his lips and a satisfied sigh. Then he grinned evilly at them and spoke.

"You called for me?"


mwuahaha... more cliffhangers. :)

Okay, I've never seen Maka break down before, so that last scene was really hard for me to write, but I knew it had to be like that. XD I mean, for her first kill ever, she did not simply slice someone in half and then walk away totally cool with it, "C'mon Soul, let's go home now." No. That's not how it goes. It takes time to become the merciless killing machine that she is today.

Once you've killed someone with your own hands, you realize that you've stepped into a whole different dimension, one with horror and pain and death, in which normal rules of society don't apply. It's kill or be killed, and the first kill is always the hardest. Once you've went down the path, there's no turning back. There's no atoning for killing someone. And even someone like Maka falls sometimes, but at least Soul will be there to catch her when she does. :)