/Rises from the grave to an unholy cacophony of 'sorry!' being moaned by millions of undead mice/ YYyyeah... sorry bout the wait, amigos. But here's another episode! Yay!
'Tootie decides to take on 'The Buxaplenty Mansion Challenge', which means she has to stay in the Buxaplenty's mansion for one night to receive an awesome prize... but whats this about a monster stalking the halls?"
"Tag! You're it!"
"Tag! You are it!"
"Tag! You're it!"
"Tag! You are it!"
"Guys! Quit it!" Tootie called to her fairy godparents, who were playing a game of squirrel-tag. At first, they'd allowed each other a head start before chasing the other to tag them, but now they were simply keeping pace and nudging each other in the flanks with their little paws. Although they were obviously enjoying it, it was getting a little grating, and Tootie had noticed a group of children a little ways away, who would be more than a little shocked to hear talking squirrels.
Stella dutifully finished off by smacking Florence and uttering a triumphant "You're it, end game!" Then she set her sights on the group. "What's goin' on over there?"
"Let's go see!" said Tootie. The girl and her two fairies approached the group of kids, who were gathered around a man at a little, brightly painted booth.
"Sign up for the Buxaplenty Mansion challenge! The amazing, fantastic and very wealthy Remy Buxaplenty is offering a special prize to whoever can spend a night at his parents' old mansion!"
The children oohed and ahhed. A 'special prize' from an extremely rich kid could mean only one thing, and the children looked very eager to except the challenge.
"But beware!" said the man, wiggling his fingers, "The mansion is said to be home to a terrible monster!"
A few children looked slightly unsettled, but the threat did little to diminish their greedy enthusiasm. The children surged forwards to scribble their names down on the sign-up sheet. All except one.
"Guys, this is a bad idea," said Timmy Turner, his arms folded, a dark scowl on his face, "Remy Buxaplenty is a liar and a jerk! This contest's gotta have some sort of catch! I wouldn't go near it with a ten foot pole."
"You're 3.4 feet from the booth, though," said his friend A.J., "so technically, you are near it, without a ten foot pole."
"You're not going to sign up, are you?" said Timmy, in exasperation.
"Sure I am!" said A.J. "I need funding for my newest project. I'm trying to create a machine that will teach dogs the cleanliness of cats, and cats the friendliness of dogs."
Timmy raised an eyebrow. Then he looked to his other friend, Chester.
"What about you, Chester? You don't need some creep's money, right?"
"Well Timmy, we could use some extra cash!" said Chester, approaching the booth to sign his name.
"Fine." said Timmy, stomping away. Tootie stared at the booth.
"I wonder what the prize is!" whispered Stella. "You should sign up!"
"But Timmy said he didn't like that boy," said Florence quickly, "we shouldn't try, it might make Timmy angry!"
"But if we beat the challenge, we beat Remy, right?" said Tootie. "And I could share the prize with Timmy!"
"I think that logic isn't very sound-" said Florence, but Stella cut him off with an enthusiastic "Do it!"
Tootie was about to go sign her name when the man at the booth spoke up.
"Oh, and no girls."
"What?!" cried Tootie, "That is SO unfair!"
"Too bad!" said the booth-man, and turned here away. Tootie stomped off, grumbling.
"Oh well!" said Florence, his voice now slightly high-pitched, "Bad luck! Let's just go hom-"
"Blammo!" said Stella, waving her wand. In a moment, Tootie's outfit became jeans and a jacket, and her pigtails were concealed beneath a checkered cap.
"Now just lower your voice, and you'll pass as a boy!" said Stella, happily.
Tootie walked up to the booth again and took the pencil.
"What's your name, young man?" said the booth-man.
"I'm- uhh-" said Tootie, faltering.
"Winthrop!" whispered Stella.
"W-Winthrop!" said Tootie, then, quickly deepening her voice, she repeated, "Winthrop. Yeah."
"Alright Winthrop, sign away!" said the boothman, "And be sure to show up at the Buxaplenty mansion at eight o'clock PM next saturday!"
The time between then and saturday flew by, and before she knew it, 'Winthrop' was standing at the gates to a huge, derelict mansion with several other kids from the neighbourhood. The boothman was at the gates, holding a large key.
"Once I open these gates, the challenge begins. You may do as you like within the halls of the old Buxaplenty mansion, but you must stay inside until nine o'clock tomorrow morning, or you forfeit the game."
The boothman opened the gates, and they swung inwards with an ominous groaning and clanking. The children rushed inside. Tootie decided to explore the grounds. Several old fountains and statues stood there, neglected, gathering moss. The gardens were overrun with weeds and the ground was patchy; some places were bare, other places had grass up to your waist.
"Gee, it's already kinda spooky, and we're not even inside!" said Stella, in the form of a firefly, gazing up at a damaged, headless statue. Tootie and Stella heard a whimper and they turned to see Florence, curled up in the tall grass, in fairy form. He looked terrified.
"What's wrong, Flo?" said Stella, changing into her fairy form and floating over to him.
"I don't like this!" he said, "I don't like this at all! You should never have signed up for this, Tootie!"
"Why?" asked Tootie, "What's bothering you?"
"I-I-" Florence stammered, then blurted out: "I'm scared!"
"Scared?" said Tootie, in surprise.
"Yes!" said Florence, pouting, "When I moved to Down Town Fairy World from Fairy France, I'd never heard of Halloween before. When the other children told me about it, it sounded like fun! But… But it wasn't!"
Florence grabbed handfuls of grass and shredded them in his anxiety.
"They always did their best to scare me… and it always worked! I was afraid of everything! The realistic costumes, the unrealistic costumes, the spooky music, even some of the candy was scary! But the worst…" Florence's eyes suddenly took on a haunted, deadened look, "…were the haunted houses!"
Florence began to shake. "The other children brought me with them, and forced me to go through the haunted houses! They were awful, and it was worse when all the other children laughed! 'Scaredy-Cat, Scaredy-Cat!' they used to say."
Stella pulled Florence into a hug.
"Don't think about those mean kids, Flo!" she said, comfortingly, petting his hair, "We won't let anything happen to you in here, we promise!"
"Yeah!" said Tootie, "You can hide inside my knapsack until it's all over!"
"Really?" said Florence.
"Yes!" replied Tootie, holding open her knapsack, which contained her dinner, which the children were obliged to bring.
Florence shrank into a swirl of blue sparkles and dove into her knapsack. Tootie closed it and slung it over her shoulder.
"I guess it's just me and you, Stella!" she said.
"I s'pose so!" said Stella, changing into her mouse form and scampering up Tootie's arm, "Let's go inside."
Tootie went up to the big stone steps which led to the front doors of the old Buxaplenty mansion. She was about to grab the large brass handle, when there was a loud "BOO!" behind her.
Tootie whipped around to see Timmy's friend Chester, who'd jumped out from behind the side of the steps, his fingers wiggling in the air.
"Haha!" he laughed, "Gotcha! Hey! You're the weird kid with the eyelashes! What's your name?"
"My name?" said Tootie, forgetting her 'boy' voice momentarily, then quickly putting it on again, "I'm… uh… Wuh… Winslow!"
"Winslow?" said Timmy's other friend, A.J., walking over to join Chester, "I could have sworn I heard the booth guy say you were called Winthrop."
"Uh-" said Tootie, nervously, "Y-yes! I'm, uh, Winslow Winthrop! I gave him my last name."
"Oh. Well hi, Winslow," said Chester, "My name's Chester! And I ain't afraid of no monster!"
"Monsters are works of fiction," added A.J., "So I very much doubt they'll have one in this castle, unless it is a metaphor for someone or something considered as a monster. My name's A.J., by the way."
"Uh.. Nice to meet you!" said Tootie, unsure of what to do. The boys had held out their hands to shake, so she took one in each hand and shook them thoroughly.
"Aah!" cried Chester, yanking his hand away and scratching it vigorously. A bright red hive had popped up on the back of his hand.
Tootie stared at it. She'd heard Chester complain about girls giving him hives sometimes, but she'd never believed it. She took a step back.
"Uhhh- Sorry! I keep forgetting, I have a terrible skin condition! I shouldn't have touched you!"
"But it didn't affect me." said A.J., raising an eyebrow and inspecting his hand.
"It- Um-" stammered Tootie, wracking her brains, "It- only affects people with blond hair!"
"You don't have blonde hair." said A.J., scrutinizing Tootie and raising his eyebrow even further.
"I-Uhh-" Tootie was spared the job of coming up with another lie when one of the children threw open the huge doors and called "LET'S CHECK IT OUT!"
The children rushed inside, and Tootie got caught up in the flow. The inside with sumptuous, but also extremely dusty. The grand hall was a huge white marble room that managed to be quite dark despite this. A dirty purple carpet led from the front door to a great wooden door and two grand staircases, each on either side of the room, leading up to an indoor balcony which held the second floor of the house. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, their beauty diminished by a thick coating of dust.
Several children rushed up the stairs, while several others ran to the great wooden door.
"Wow." said Tootie quietly. She walked down the hall, looking at the walls. They were hung with an assortment of oddly shaped pictures of people, most likely old Buxaplentys. They all had fair hair and upturned noses and extremely unpleasant expressions on their faces. Tootie stuck out her tongue at them. She heard Stella do so as well, with a quiet 'Nyeh!' from inside her backpack.
She was just about to go through the big wooden door, when she heard a colossal thump from upstairs. Then several colossal thumps. Then several high, terrified shrieks. A door burst open on the upper floor and three boys came pelting down the stairs, wide-eyed and white-faced.
"What's wrong?!" cried Tootie.
"There's something-up-there!" stammered one of the kids.
"It got Joey! It got Joey!" squeaked another.
"I saw it!" said the third child, "We were in the library looking around… then there was a bump- Something started knocking over the bookshelves- we tried to run, but Joey- it grabbed him! I turned- I saw- huge claws- glowing eyes- a barbed sucker!"
"Lets get out of here!" sobbed the second boy, and all three of them dashed to the front door and disappeared into the grounds.
Tootie watched them go, feeling shaken.
"Don't worry Tootie," whispered Stella, "I bet it's a big trick. Someone in a costume!"
"Yeah." said Tootie, taking heart, "Yeah!"
Still… if there were such things as fairies, it wasn't so much of a stretch to assume there were such things as monsters too. She decided to warn the others in the room behind the wooden door. She struggled with the enormous door and then pushed it open to reveal a dining room that was just as lavish as the front hall. It contained a large stone fireplace along one wall with an oaken mantel piece covered in fancy nicknacks and a mirror. In the middle of the room was a very long table set for dinner, though without food, and lined with gilded chairs. A few children, including Chester and A.J. were in this room.
"Guys!" said Tootie, urgently. She told them what the boys had said, and the disappearance of Joey. The boys looked afraid, one of them even went so far as to decided to leave immediately. But after this boy was gone, A.J. stepped forwards with a chuckle.
"Oh please!" he said, "Isn't it obvious? There's some kind of animatronic monster thats going around trying to scare us! That Joey kid had to have been hired to scare us by getting 'captured' by the monster. Remy Buxaplenty is just trying to see who's the bravest!"
The other boys rallied around this statement, and Tootie couldn't help but feel better too. There was a rumbling sound. Several boys jumped.
"Haha, don't freak guys, it's just my tummy!" said Chester, "Lets have dinner! I'm starving!"
All the boys (and Tootie) took a seat around the big table and pulled their packed dinners out of their bags. They had an enjoyable time eating and talking and cracking jokes. They could almost forget their spooky environment and the claims about the monster… almost.
One of the boys let out a disgusted sound.
"Okay, who shot a spitball at me?" he said, wiping the back of his head and glaring around at the boys down the table from him. The boys looked nonplussed and shook their heads.
"Nobody's making spitballs!"
"Yeww!" yelped another boy, wiping his head as well. "Gross! What IS this stuff?"
He held up his hand to show that it was covered in a thick, gluey green slime. There was a soft 'thup' sound. A lump of slime landed on the table. Another one landed nearby, on a candelabra sitting on the table. The lump slid down the side of the candelabra, and the boys slowly craned their necks upwards.
The ceiling was oozing. Great green globs of goo were dripping from the lovely panelled ceiling above them, slowly forming huge stalactites, which dripped the slime down onto the table. One of these stalactites decided, just then, to drop, with a sick slimy squelch. It fell through the air with a rushing sound and landed with a loud WHUMP right where a kid had been sitting a moment ago. The boy had had enough forethought to beat a hasty retreat, and it was a good thing he had; the stalactite had been heavy enough to crush his chair into kindling.
Then, without warning, came a voice from the walls:
"Get… Out..!"
This was followed by a few more sick slimy squelching sounds, and the children decided it was time to vamoose.
Some ran screaming to the front door to leave the house entirely, but Chester, A.J. and Tootie were still brave enough to run to the opposite door, which led into a corridor.
They continued down this corridor and then turned left through another large door. Inside this door was what appeared to be a ballroom. There were many dusty chandeliers in here, and brightly painted walls (though the paintwork faded with neglect), and a stage which may have once served the purpose of accommodating a live band.
"Phew!" said Chester, panting and walking over to sit on the edge of the stage, "That was really freaky! But it wasn't real, was it, A.J.?"
"No way…" said A.J., also panting, "It's easy to make slime, I've done it hundreds of times in my lab, and that voice probably came from a hidden microphone. In fact, that was a pretty lousy attempt to scare us. Ha! Are you scared, Winslow?"
For a moment, Tootie didn't remember her false name. When she realized she was the only other 'boy' in the room, she shook her head at him and gave him a weak grin.
"No way!"
"I thought not." said A.J., nodding importantly. "These people don't even know what comes close to scary!"
"Yeah!" said Chester, joining in, "They wouldn't know scary if it jumped up and bit'em on the nose!"
Chester turned to Tootie, and added earnestly, "Scary's a bit like a weasel like that."
"I bet I could tell a scary story that would scare you guys WAY more than those stupid effects!" boasted A.J.
"You're on!" cried Chester. Tootie, Chester and A.J. all jumped up on the stage and sat in a circle, leaning against their backpacks.
Chester started telling a scary story about the Cyclone-witch, an evil woman that terrorized the good trailer-dwelling folk with her magical storms.
"And then, just as it seemed that Harry and Jezz could get away from the storm…" he said, wiggling his fingers, "A big swirly storm arm reached out of the storm and grabbed them! The next day, there was nothing left… but tires."
"Ooh. Scary." deadpanned A.J.
"It's scary to me!" cried Chester indignantly, folding his arms.
"Well, I've got a way better scary story." said A.J. "It's called the Monster from the Lab! And it's based on a true story."
Tootie and Chester leaned in close, now hugging their bags as A.J. told them a terrifying tale of a creature he'd created in his lab. It had started out as a cute little jellybean shaped organism, but it soon began to grow… and grow… and grow, until it was a huge monster. A.J. was just describing his attempted escape.
"And then, from behind my wall, I heard a boom…" said A.J.
On cue, a soft boom came from somewhere close by in the house.
"Did you hear that?!" squeaked Chester, squeezing his backpack to his chest.
"Probably just a trick of our imaginations." said A.J. and then continued, "Then, it came again, closer, a boom…"
There it was again. A louder boom. This one sounded rather close.
"A.J…" whimpered Chester.
"It's probably the house settling!" said A.J., impatiently. "And then, all of the sudden, before I had time to react, the wall burst open with an earth shattering-"
SMASH!
Bits of debris flew everywhere as an enormous creature plowed its way straight through the wall and skidded into the middle of the ballroom.
Chester, A.J. and Tootie all screamed at once.
The creature was dark purple with glowing orange eyes. Its body was human-like, with an emaciated torso full of visible ribs and human-like arms that ended in large bird-like talons. Its legs had an extra joint in them and bent at an odd angle, and its smooth head tapered off into a long, barbed proboscis.
It howled at them. Chester, A.J. and Tootie ran towards the door, still screaming.
"I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT HAD TO BE FAKE!" shouted Chester.
"IT COULD STILL BE, BUT I'M NOT STICKING AROUND TO FIND OUT!" shrieked A.J. in reply.
The monster made a huge leap and landed in front of the door and howled again. They screamed and ran in the other direction.
"Tootie!" squealed Stella, wriggling out of her backpack and onto her shoulder, "It's a real monster!"
"I know!" yelped Tootie, "Thanks for stating the obvious!"
A thought flashed through her mind. She could easily get out of here by wishing herself and the other boys out. But that would mean the monster was still running free, and she couldn't just let this beast roam loose in Dimmsdale. But if she could get Chester and A.J. away from the room, she could have Stella and Florence work magic freely and get rid of the monster!
"Stella, I wish you were a really, really bright firefly!" she whispered.
"Sure thing!" replied Stella, and changed.
The monster was cornering them now, making a deep, eerie sucking sound. Chester and A.J. were backed up against the wall, eyes closed, screaming and shaking. Tootie jittered herself, but she kept her eyes open and pointed a shaking finger at the creature's eyes.
"Now Stella!" she whispered, "Shine at its eyes!"
"BUTT BLAST!" shouted Stella, and aimed her glowing rear at the creature's face. A beam of bright yellow light shone straight into the thing's eyes. It stumbled back and howled in pain, temporarily blinded.
"RUN!" yelled Tootie to the boys, "RUN NOW!"
They didn't need telling twice. Chester and A.J. scrambled to the door, hauled it open and dashed around it.
"Alright, lets make a mash outta this monster!" cried Stella, changing into her fairy form and flying over to the creature.
"Hey big guy!" she said, zipping around its head, "I'm over here, blindy! Missed me, you big ugly frea-"
SLAM!
The monster's clawed hand swiped at Stella and slammed her into the ground, crushing her. Her wand spun out of her hand and disappeared amongst the debris of the smashed wall.
"Stella!" cried Tootie.
"I'm okay!" choked Stella in a muffled voice.
The monster bore down on Tootie, clearly enraged.
There was a small squeak. Tootie looked to see Florence crawl out of her backpack, which she'd dropped. He was a little kitten, and all his fur was on end. He looked like a tiny blue pompom.
"Florence!" cried Tootie. She was about to make a wish, when the monster's other clawed hand grabbed her.
"AAAH!" screamed Tootie as she was lifted off the ground.
For a moment, all she seemed able to focus on was the monster's great orange eyes. Then there was a quavery yell.
"H-hé! V-vous! P-p-put down my godchild!"
It was Florence. He was slinking away from the backpack, taking tiny kitten steps towards the monster. And yet, every step he took, he seemed to grow slightly larger. The monster turned its eyes to him. For a moment, Florence cringed, but then he straightened up, glaring with glowing cats eyes.
"Y-yeah! I am talking to y-you!" he said, "Put my godchild d-down! And s-stop crushing m-my partner!"
"Go Florence!" wheezed Stella, before being squished a little more forcefully into the floor.
Florence prowled up to the monster, large as a panther, then a school buss, then, right in front of it, he rivalled the creature for size.
"I said, put. her. down!" he roared. The monster hesitated, then dropped Tootie and leapt at Florence. Tootie hit the ground with a bump that was softened by her backpack, and ran to where Stella was. Florence and the monster thrashed around, locked in combat. Florence was making hissing and yowling sounds, intermixed with what sounded like French expletives.
Stella sat up, completely flat. She stuck a thumb in her mouth and blew, hard. Her body swelled up and then popped back into shape.
"We gotta find your wand, quick!" said Tootie.
They went in search of the wand, with Stella occasionally transforming into a large goalie net to stop Florence and the creature from banging into them.
"I found it!" cried Stella, snatching her wand from a pile of splintered wood and holding it up triumphantly. The two females turned to see Florence, spitting, rake his claws across the monster's face. The monster howled in pain and clutched its face. Florence swiped his huge paw at it again, and it took off running, back through the hole it had made in the wall.
Florence's fur slowly drooped back into place, and he turned to look at Tootie and Stella.
"Are you alright?" he asked in concern.
"Ooh Florence!" cried Stella, flying up to his furry cheek and giving it a big hug and a kiss, "You were so brave!"
"I was?"
"Yeah!" said Tootie, "You helped us when we needed you most. Thanks Florence!"
Florence grinned and purred loudly. Then he looked concerned.
"Tootie, you are hurt!"
Tootie glanced down at her scraped arms and legs.
"Oh, it's nothing," she said, "You're the one who got in a fight with that monster!"
"Fairies can heal themselves very quickly, you needn't worry about me." said Florence, and he was right. The cuts and scratched on his furry body were fading even as they spoke. He licked Tootie's arms and legs with a large, sandpapery tongue, and her wounds began to heal as well.
Stella set to magically cleaning away the debris and fixing the wall, then she poofed a big comfy mattress into the middle of the room. Tootie lay down on this mattress, and Florence curled his huge cat body around it and laid his head down on his paws. Stella changed into a small cat and curled up in his fur. They slept there for the rest of the night, with not so much as a bad dream to wake them.
"Hello? Hellooo?!"
Tootie and her godparents were awoken the next morning by the sound of a man's voice calling out in the echoey halls of the mansion. Stella and Florence immediately poofed into their mice forms and hid in Tootie's backpack, and Tootie got up to see where the voice was coming from.
The source of the voice turned out to be the booth man, now dressed like an elegant butler, strolling along the hallway and looking for anyone who had been able to stay the night. He smiled delightedly at the sight of Tootie.
"Master Winthrop!" he said, "Are you quite alone?"
"Yes… I think so." said Tootie.
"Then come along right away! You've won!"
"I've wo- oh!" Tootie had completely forgotten the contest, and was now feeling rather excited.
The booth-man led her out of the house and into a white limousine, which set off immediately. When the limousine stopped, Tootie got out and saw a huge white mansion, quite different from the one she'd just stayed in. This one was obviously being lived in, and it was immaculate.
She was led into the pristine white halls, saluted by the staff and then brought into an elevator, which rose steadily to the top floor of the house.
When she got out, she blinked. She appeared to be in a child's bedroom.
'This must be Remy Buxaplenty's room…' she thought, and indeed, there was a child standing at the window at the far end.
The boy turned around. He was about her height, dressed in crisp black pants and a crisp white jacket with a little red bowtie and cummerbund. His blond hair was slicked up into a sort of fancy cowlick on his forehead, and he stared at her down his upturned nose with a haughty expression on his face. The expression turned eager.
"So!" he said, in a nasal, high-bred voice, "You're the one who managed to last the night in my parents' old house?"
"Yes." said Tootie. She could already see why Timmy disliked him so much.
"And you're… Wesley?"
"Winslow. Winslow Winthrop." she corrected him.
"Yes, yes, Winslow, whatever. I'm sure you're anxious to know what your prize is!"
"Yes!" said Tootie, thinking of sharing it with Timmy and laughing over beating this Remy kid's game.
"Well, I won't disappoint." said Remy. He walked over to a large screen of draped white sheet with a tasseled cord at the end. He pulled the cord and the sheet feel away. A little stage had been erected there, with 'YOU ARE THE WINNER!' written in huge letters on an arch over the stage. Below was a store mannequin wearing an exact duplicate of Remy's outfit.
"I… huh?" said Tootie, staring at this odd set up.
"You've won!" said Remy, "Your prize is the best friendship of me, Remy Buxaplenty, the richest kid in Dimmsdale!.. and probably the world."
He smiled, smugly.
"What?!" cried Tootie.
"Oh, I know. It's too fabulous to even imagine to be true," said Remy, striding over to her, "But you did it. You passed the test! You're perfect best-friend material! And… Sombers, leave us!"
The booth-man-butler, who'd been standing at the door, now turned on his heel and left.
"…you have fairy godparents!"
Tootie choked.
"Wh-wha- n-no I don't!" she stammered.
"Oh, don't try to hide it." said Remy, "It doesn't matter to me. I have Juandissimo. Juandissimo!"
A large purple ferret slunk out of its cage and crawled up Remy's leg and onto his shoulders. Florence sprang from Tootie's backpack, spitting. The ferret recoiled and changed into its true form. 'Juandissimo' was a very handsome fairy with flowing black hair, rippling muscles and a perfect tan. He glared at Florence with his deep mauve eyes, and Florence glared back and changed into his regular form as well.
"You ruffian!" said Juandissimo in a thick hispanic accent, "You nearly diminished my outer beauty with your dirty claws!"
"And YOU nearly crushed Stella!" replied Florence, scowling at the muscular fairy.
Stella decided to appear then, looking between the two fairies.
"Hey! You're that super hunky foreign-exchange fairy that all the girls had a crush on in high-school!" she remarked, peering at Juandissimo.
"Sí." said Juandissimo, giving her a dazzling smile, "I do not know who YOU are, but I thank you for your worthy description of me." at this, he turned his eyes on Florence again and scoffed, "Ah, now I recognize you! You were that skinny French boy who was one of the other exchange students. The one who was very unpopular, and smelled of cheese."
"Yes." replied Florence, coldly.
"You haven't changed." said Juandissimo.
"Neither have you." replied Florence, still frigid.
"Alright, alright," said Tootie, "We've both got fairy godparents. But what's this about being your best friend?"
"Still can't believe it, can you?" said Remy, smiling, "But I assure you, it IS true. I invented that Buxaplenty mansion contest to see who was worthy enough to be my 'best pal'. And it worked! You're perfect! We'll begin being best friends immediately! Oh, but you'll have to make sure your godparents aren't more magical than mine. I might get jealous. Maybe send one of them home or something."
"Wait a moment, wait a moment!" cried Tootie, waving her arms, "How does staying in a haunted house for a night make me qualify for a best friend?! That makes no sense!"
"Of course it does. I came up with it." said Remy.
"Anybody who tries to make friends by putting them in danger isn't gonna be any friend of mine!" said Tootie, angrily.
"What is the meaning of this?!" cried Remy, "Do you mean to say that you don't WANT to be my friend?!"
"No!" cried Tootie, "You're horrible! Asking me to send one of my godparents home because you'd get jealous?! You're selfish! You're crazy! You're- There's no way I'd be your best friend!"
Remy stared at her, aghast.
"But- But- children all over the world would jump at the chance to be my best friend! And you decline?!"
"You shouldn't chose best friends based on crazy stuff like a haunted mansion! You should make friends with people you like!"
"But I don't like people!" cried Remy, "And people don't.. like me..!"
"Then why don't you just wish for a best friend?" said Tootie, pointing to Juandissimo.
"I've tried!" said Remy, scowling and turning away, "but friendship apparently falls under the purview of 'love', and therefor cannot be wished up by a fairy!"
"Well then, there's no way you'll ever have friends! You're terrible, Remy Buxaplenty!" shouted Tootie.
"You don't understand!" shrieked Remy, spinning around to face her, "You don't know what it's like to be lonely! I'll bet your parents love you too! I just loath people with two sets of parents who love them! I'm so mad I could- I could- I CALL MAGICAL DUE-"
"NO!" shouted Stella, Florence and Juandissimo at once.
"Remy, see sense!" said Juandissimo, trying to calm down his irate charge, "Remember the last time we had a.. a magical duel?"
"That was just luck!" snarled Remy, "Less than luck! It was because that Wanda woman was around, and you couldn't concentrate! Look at them!" he pointed to Florence and Stella, who floated innocently next to Tootie's head, Stella cleaning out her ear with her pinky, and Florence looking worried, "The female looks almost as stupid as Turner's godfather, and the male… well… He's French! You know how they behave on battlefields!"
Florence, who'd heard this comment, puffed up his chest and looked as if he might slap Remy, but Stella intervened.
"Listen to your godfather, Remy," said Stella, "A magical duel's not gonna solve anything!"
"Yes it will!" cried Remy, his voice catching in his throat, "It will make me feel better!"
Tootie suddenly saw Remy in a different light. He might have been surrounded by luxury since birth, but there HAD to be a reason why he had a fairy godparent. She imagined being so obliviously arrogant and mean that she had no friends, and didn't even know why. She suddenly felt sorry for Remy, and a little guilty for calling him so many names.
"Remy…" she said slowly, "I don't really like you. Maybe I'll never like you. But how about we make a deal?"
"What kind of a deal?" said Remy, suspiciously.
"I'll be your best friend, but only if you promise to let me teach you how to actually make friends." said Tootie.
"Really?" said Remy, trying to disguise the glimmer of hopefulness in his voice.
"Yes," said Tootie, "But you have to promise to do everything I say. Alright?"
"This deal," said Juandissimo quietly, "I would take it."
Remy pondered for a few minutes, then he turned to Tootie and nodded.
"O-okay. I'll let you teach me how to make real friends. It's a deal."
"Great!" said Tootie, holding her hand out to shake his, to seal the deal. Remy withdrew his hand and looked slightly repelled.
"I'd rather not, actually." he said, "I'm blonde, you see, and I'd rather not catch that skin disease of yours."
Tootie looked at her outstretched hand, and then laughed. Stella and Florence laughed, too. Juandissimo and Remy looked nonplussed.
"Well then, the deal is all set!" said Stella cheerfully, "But we have to get Tootie home now! Her parents will be wondering where she is!"
"Alright." said Remy, "But remember the deal! You promised!"
"I did." said Tootie, "And I will."
Remy called up Somber to take Tootie and her 'mice' home. Somber did so, with a smile.
"Young Master Remy will be quite please to have a boy his own age to play with." he said, as he closed the door to the limo.
"Oh no!" whispered Tootie, to Stella and Florence, "We forgot to tell him I'm a girl!"
"That's probably for the best," said Florence, then, "I'm very proud of you, Tootie. That was a very nice thing to do. I wouldn't have done it."
"I agree with Flo," said Stella, "After all, it'd be pretty hard to explain to Timmy why you're suddenly Remy's best friend, huh?"
"Double oh no!" said Tootie, snapping her fingers, "I forgot about Timmy!"
As the limousine took Tootie home, she pondered the situation she'd gotten herself into. It wasn't going to be easy to find Remy some friends, train him to be a nice person and keep up her 'Winslow' charade. But maybe it would pay off, she thought, maybe in the way it payed to be a fairy godparent. The wonderful reward of making somebody else happy.
Well, there we are! I've wanted to write a Remy episode for a while... hope y'all enjoyed it, and I hope it was worth the wait! Will there be more soon? Hopefully! Yours truly -TS
