Hey!

I hope I'm forgiven, at least just a tiny bit after this chapter. Thanks for reading and supporting me!


Quick Disclaimer: I do not own mortal instruments or anything you may recognise and I do not own the following poem.

Part III - Come Back

Every single breath that I took,

every single day that I lived,

I did, coz' I had you,

Since you left me,

My Soul lost without a trace,

Every single night, I dreamed of your face,

No one can replace your place in my heart,

I feel so cold and still looking your embrace,

Oh...Girl, can't you see, you belong to me,

Please come back for me.

(I cannot find the website where I originally found this poem, if you find it please let me know!)


Third Person POV

There's so much that I would say, if I could see you one last time

A single white rose was the target of Jace's attention. The green of the stem and the gold of his eyes and hair were the only colours, the rest of Jace was white. He wanted to snap the rose in half and throw it away, but he couldn't, shouldn't. She deserved peace, deserved to rest. She deserved this white rose, considering this was the first time he bought a flower for her. He ran his fingers along the stem, twirling it around, as if he had never seen anything like it. He cursed as his finger nicked one of the thorns.

But now I can't 'cause you're not here but you're always on my mind

He watched with sickening curiosity as a drop of blood swelled on his finger before running down his hand.


'Sebastian taunted, letting the knife slip and nick her neck. Clary gasped in pain...he didn't even notice Sebastian hurting her, but the blood stain down Clary's clothes was proof...as he withdrew his knife from his sister's neck. The knife re-entered her body from a different angle and another angle and another, until Sebastian's hands were drenched in blood. Until you couldn't tell her long her hair was because you didn't know where the hair stopped and the blood began'

I look up when you're not there, when I lie awake at night


He blinked back the memories and a sound of terror escaped him. His hands were stained in red. Stained with blood. They shook with terror, as his eyes travelled up his arm and finally landing on the mirror in front of him. His previously white suit was red, dark red. There were patterns in the blood that were unnatural. His gaze wandered back to his room and adjusted to the sight. There were blood splatters all over the room. Leading back to his bed. He clenched his eyes shut, he didn't want to see the bed, didn't want to see who lay in the bed. But he knew. He knew when he opened his eyes, he'd see his love dead. His knees gave out and he helped in pain as the floor came rushing up to meet him. It was his fault she was dead.

All these things I ask myself, I don't why


Alec and Isabelle heard a crash come from Jace's room. As they opened the door, tears pricked their eyes. Their brother was curled up on the floor, shaking his crying head, whispering 'mea culpa, my fault.' Isabelle ran to his side, rubbing his shoulder and arm, murmuring comforting words. Alec was stunned in the doorway. He had never seen someone so broken, like Jace was now. It was at this moment, that Alec knew Jace would never recover from this. Not completely.

When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again


That was how Maryse found her children, huddled together on the floor of Jace's room. His white rose was discarded underneath his mirror, with a single drop of blood staining the petals. She smiled sadly, she was glad that they found comfort in each other, but Clary should've have had to die for this to happen. It would take a lot of recovery for these kids to get over this. It wasn't fair. Yes they were raised as shadowhunters, learning how to kill demons from a young age, but they shouldn't have to lose a friend so young. She could only imagine how Jocelyn and Luke were dealing.

When it's the last time you weren't ready for it end


Eventually Isabelle and Alec untangled themselves from Jace and retreated. Their brother had fallen asleep with tears drying his cheeks. Alec wrapped his arms around his sister as they left his room. The next few days, weeks, maybe even months would be increasingly hard. For everyone. Clary had been such a huge part of their lives, for such a short while. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Whenever I leave you standing alone there in the dark

Several hours later, heartbreak woke Jace up. He longed to see her again, to feel her, to hear her voice. But he would never. He growled in anger and frustration. He heaved himself off of his floor and padded down the halls to find the training room. Sebastian took her away and he let him. Both were to blame. Both destroyed her and consequently everyone else's life as well.

They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard

Every slip of his hand, cut into his other arm. Jace smiled. Yes, this helped, he deserved this pain. He deserved to hurt after losing her, deserved it for not protecting her. He would destroy Sebastian like he destroyed Clary. Then, afterwards, he would destroy himself.

I look ahead, but can't move on, I look back but I can't stay

I keep tryin' to be strong, but there's pain it won't go away


The next morning, Alec found himself standing in front of the training room. The older boy wasn't completely sure why he was here as he didn't usually find training the way to ease his pain. But he could feel Jace's boiling blood and red vision. It wasn't fair, Clary couldn't be gone. She just couldn't be, it was physically impossible. Surely she was just missing or sleeping. She couldn't be gone.

I hope this will heal in time, 'cause I can't go on like this

This was the way Jace was dealing, and as his parabatai, he would do whatever he could to help him. He had to, he and to be strong for Jace. He had to be strong for everyone. He had to get them all through this pain. Even if that meant bottling his own and hiding it away.

And right now I would give my life for one last kiss

Slicing, slashing, cutting, hacking, killing killing killing. Pain. Jace had joined Alec and neither seemed to hold anything back. Together they danced a murderous duet. Blood welled as the other's knife nicked their arms. Alec had never seen Jace this angry, but he understood. He could feel through their bond the anger in Jace's veins. The anger at Sebastian. "It's not fair!" Jace yelled as he knocked Alec's sword away. Jace advanced, pushing Alec against the wall. "It's not fair! It's not really, it can't be! Bring her back!" Jace stumbled away from Alec as tears streamlined his face. He fell to the ground, as Alec approached a wild animal. "To me. Bring her back to me, please?" Jace pleaded and Alec wrapped his arms around his parabatai.

When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again

They stayed like that for hours. Both sharing the emotion, both mourning and grieving. This afternoon was Clary's funeral and it was going to strike them all hard. Jace could barely keep it together when he tried on his suit yesterday. Neither had heard of Isabelle since last night, locking herself up in her room once again. The grief was wearing them down and slowly breaking their bond. Who would have thought that the three siblings who had been together before Clary, would be struggling to hold onto their bond after Clary. Who would have thought that one person's death could upset the entire balance. Nothing in life was fair. Nothing lasted long enough.

When it's the last time and you weren't ready for it end

Whenever I leave you standing alone there in the dark


It was, unusual to say the least. This kind of thing doesn't happen, ever. But supposedly some souls are different, some already have their death date marked on their calendars and wish to stick to that date. Not after and definitely not before. Guess this was one of those cases. This soul, in particular, was not meant to die yet, and thus fate compelled him to throw the soul back. But it couldn't be returned in the same state as before, the soul had become an angel, meaning it would return with, shall we see, angelic benefits. "Good luck." He nodded to the soul, before it vanished and returned to earth.

They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard

You'll be there on my mind, standing in the sunshine

When it's the first time that you'll never see someone again

When it's the last time and you weren't ready for it end

Whenever I leave you standing alone there in the dark

They're never easy but sometimes, goodbyes are so hard

(Goodbyes - 3 Doors Down)