Chapter 12 - I had to make a choice
Romance: Rehna Nahima Shephard - Garrus Vakarian
Vanguard, Colonist, War Hero.
All the charakters are owned by bioware and some of the segments of the conversations. I´m just trying my own version of the events!
"You don´t deserve to exist!"
BLAAAAAAAM
Bloody faces everywhere, eyes watching her, blaming her.. Screams from every corner so loud, it felt like her ears would explode..
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
They surrounded her, nowhere else to run, a tall turian stood behind the masses, his blue eyes filled with sorrow.
"HEEEEEEELP ME!"
He turned away, leaving her screaming for help, something grabbed her from behind, embraced her in its cold dark fathom, she screamed, wriggled, tried to escape, the creatures hands held her tight, cold as ice.. Its cold breath evaporated against her warm neck as it sunk its sharp teeth into her flesh..
Rehna flew up from the bed, her body shaking, sweat poured down her brow and neck... Will they ever stop, will i ever have a good nights rest.. She opened the cabin door and wandered out in the dark and silent ship, ending up at the comforting ezo core, its pulsating energy created blue light that shone down on her. She clinched her hands hard to try and stop them from shaking. Her cheeks got hot from the tears she tried to force down..
"Is everything okey commander?"
She discreetly wiped the tears from her face.
"Couldn´t sleep..."
"Me neither... Partly because of you...because of the fight.."
"What do you mean Alenko?.."
He walked up to her and put his hands on the rail, fixing his eyes at the ezo core..
"Im sorry, i shouldn´t have said those things... I trust you as our commander, you are the best one i have ever seen..."
He looked at her where she stood silently, the blue shifting lights casted shadows over her.
"I don´t know why i said those things... it may be part of my jealousy, for not being enought, because you don´t seem to notice me..."
She looked at him, the bright green eyes studying every part of him, breaking him down piece by piece..
"I notice you alenko... But not only you, i know everyone on this ship, what their good at, what they like to do on their spare time, even their favorit food..."
"Why?..."
"Everyone on this ship is in danger, we are following an enemy we know very little about.. Everyday i risk your lives by putting you at the front lines... I want to know what kind of person i´m sending out there, what kind of person i might end up loosing... Every single person on this ship deserves to be here... that includes you, i aldready know it, its up to you to believe it..."
He leaned against the railing and watched her leave, thinking about their conversation.. She wanted her crew to be happy, because they risked their lives for her... That´s why she had helped garrus and wrex, needed them to be happy and at peace, not because she favored them... He felt so stupid, he had screamed at the person he loved... But still, she believed in him, maybe he would have to start doing that to...
"We are closing up to Virmire commander! There are AA towers everywhere, i´ll have to fly under the radars and drop you off with the mako!"
"Sounds good, we will take out the towers so that you can land, keep in touch.. Garrus and Tali you come with me.. The rest, stay alert!"
The Mako dropped softly in the river on the paradise like planet, the sun was shining and the birds chirped, if it wasn´t for the huge geth colossus everywhere Rehna might have stopped for a picnic. The water splashed at the sides of the mako as they made their way towards the first AA tower. They eliminated the geth and disabled the defenses before they continued.
"Look, you are actually going around the mountains for a change! that´s a progress!"
"Shut up Garrus or i´ll let you walk the rest of the way"
"Ooh, is it a touchy subject?"
"No, but if you keep concentrating on my driving instead of the geth we may never reach the base! Look, you totally missed that one!"
"Tss, I did that on purpose!"
"So.. You missed on purpose, you really want me to believe that?"
"You don´t need to belive in something that´s true!"
"You really are a smart ass turian you know that?"
"Admit, you love it!"
"Please... don´t make me laugh.."
"We got a problem commander.. The normandy have touched down but we are grounded, the Salarian captain can explain when you get there" Joker chirped from the radio.
"Roger that"
They killed another Geth colossus on their way before they reached the Salarian base, the group jumped out of the mako and headed over to the Salarian captain.
"Are you the one in charge here, what´s the situation?"
"Im Kaptain Kirrahe, Third infiltration regement STG. You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hotzone. Every AA gun within ten miles have been alerted to your presence"
"That´s just wonderfull, what do we do now?"
"We stay put untill the council sends the reinforcements we requested"
"We are the reinforcements!"
"What? You are all they sent? I told the council to send a fleet"
He told them about the facility, they had discovered it was sarens secret base of operation and more...
"He is using the facility to breed an army of krogan"
"How is that possible?" wrex exclaimed joining the conversation.
"Apparently Saren has discovered a cure for the genofage"
"The geth are already a huge problem, with a krogan army added to it, he would be almost unstoppable"
"Exactly my thoughts, we must ensure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed"
"Destroyed, i don´t think so, our people are dying, this cure can save them"
"If that cure leaves this planet the krogan will become unstoppable. We cant make the same misstake again."
Rehna could see the anger boil inside the huge krogan, as he walked up to Kirrahe threateningly "We are NOT a misstake!" wrex stormed of to the outskirts of the camp.
"Is he going to be a problem? We already have enough angry krogan to deal with"
"I don´t know, i´ll talk to him..."
Rehna stod there for a while, considering the best option on how to talk with Wrex. She knew how much this meant to him, she herself had encouraged him to help his people. But this was not the way, they had to beat saren, and this facility needed to go down with him. She took a deep breath and rolled her neck before approaching him..
"This isn´t right shepard, if there is a cure for the genofage, we cant destroy it"
"I understand you are upset, but we both know saren is our enemy, he is the one you should be angry with"
"Really... Saren created a cure for my people, you want to destroy it! Help me out here shepard, the line between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where i stand"
"This isn´t a cure, its a weapon! If Saren is allowed to use it, you won´t be around to reap the benefits, none of us will!"
"That´s a chance we should be willing to take! This is the fate of my entire people we are talking about! If you can´t give me a better reason then this to destroy the hopes of my people, then i´m done with you "
"I can´t let you jeopardize the mission, it´s to important!"
"After all this time thats all i get from you, why cant you see what this means to the krogan? This base can´t be destroyed, i won´t allow it!"
"These krogan are slaves of saren. Puppets, tools to be used and discarded. Is that what you want for your people, is that what the krogan stands for, becoming mindless husks?"
"No... We were tools for the council once. To thank us for wiping out the Rachni, they neutered us all. I doubt Saren will be as generous... All right shepard, you´ve made your point, I don´t like this, but i trust you enought to follow your lead..."
"Thanks Wrex, i knew i could trust you.. You will find a way to save your people, one that´s better then this. And when you do, i promise i will help you."
"I´ll hold you to that! Just one thing, when we find Saren, i want his head!"
Rehna checked that everything was fine with the crew and made some preparations, before returning to Kirrahe.
"Have you come up with a plan?"
"Of sorts, we can convert our ships drivesystem into a twenty kiloton ordnance, crude but effective. The facility is to well fortified for a drop off, we will need to plant it at a precise location. your ship can drop it off at the far side of this facility, but first we will need to deactivate the AA towers and pacify any ground forces."
"That means we have to go in on foot? Is there no other way?"
"No there isn´t, but i think we can work around that. I will devide my men into three teams and hit the front of the facility. While we´ve got their attention you can sneak your Shadow team in the back"
"It´s a good idea, but what about your people, a frontal assault could equal slaughter"
"We are tougher than we look commander... But its true, i don´t expect many of us will make it out alive.. And that makes what i´m about to ask even more difficult, i need one of your men to accompany me, to help coordinate the teams"
Both Ashley and Kaidan volunteered, he wanted one of her crewmembers, who should she send.. She decided it was time for Ashley to learn how to cooperate with other races, she needed to be with them in the dangers of battle to understand their worth.
"Williams, you will accompany the captain, no heroics, understood?"
"Aye aye commander"
"I will have the ordnance loaded onto the Normandy and brief your crew on its detonation sequencing... Now i need to prepare my men"
Rehna knew it must be hard for Ashley, to be working with people she had never even met before. But she needed to learn, needed to understand that allies are good no matter where they come from..
"Well this is it.. Don´t do anything stupid while im gone LT.."
"We will be fine, you´ll see.." Kaiden sounded more nervous then he probably intended.
"Yeah.. i just... good luck"
"Is there something you want to say chief"
"I don´t know... Its just weird going under someone else´s command, i´ve gotten used to working with you... And i know i have been acting like a huge ass sometimes, and i´m sorry about that.. I just want to say... that it has been a huge honour serving with you commander"
"Nothing needs to be said Ashley. It doesn´t matter if we´re not in the same unit, we are still a team. Watch eachothers backs, keep your eyes open and fight like i know you can. We´ll all come out of this in one piece"
"You bet commander!"
They watched as Kirrahe held his, surprisingly wonderfull speach about holding the line, before each of them left for their different tasks.
Rehna brought garrus and tali with her, the two people she trusted the most of her crew. She made sure to help the Salarians anyway she could, by taking out different geth outposts along their way. Soon they reached the back of the huge facility where they would inflitrate.
"I got this door open soon, but there is an alarm. I can set it off either here or at the front, wich will mean more enemies for us or the salarians, what should i do?"
"More enemies means more fun, right? set it off here"
Inside the facility they where stormed by huge waves of geth, Tali hacked the big ones and Rehna used her biotics to push the smaller ones away. The rest where easily brought down by Garrus and Rehnas rifles. On their way they ran in to imprisoned salarians from kirrahes team, they where indoctrinated but harmless, Rehna could not leave them there so she let them loose. Soon they reached The upper part of the facility where one of Sarens researchers greeted them.
"Don´t shoot! please, i just want to get out of here!" the asari shouted frightened
"Who are you?"
"Rana thanoptis, neurospecialist, but this job isn´t worth dying over, or worse.. You think the indoctrination only affects prisoners! Soon Saren will want to dissect my brain to!"
"You talk to much.. Make my time worthwhile or something bad might happen..."
"I have this keycard, it leads to Sarens private lab, take it!"
"I´m blowing this facility sky high, if you want to make it out alive, you´d better start running..."
"What? you can´t...but i´ll never.. aah" The asari ran as fast as her legs could carry her..
"And so the annoyance was gone" Rehna chuckled
"You enjoyed that"
"That´s pretty obvious Tali"
At sarens lab they discovered another beacon, a similar one to that on Eden prime. Before they could stop her rehna walked up to it, she was lifted of the ground, her body shaking with the force of the beacon, it imprinted another memory from the protheans. She fell to the ground exhausted, she put her hands on her head and winced. Garrus ran up to her side and helped her up.
"Excuse me Rehna.. but are you insane! don´t you remember what happend the last time you did that?"
"I´m sorry, seems i can´t resist big shiny things..."
He laughed and patted her back.. "let´s get going then before you get dazzled by another shiny object"
They walked up the stairs and started to head out the door when a rumbling dark voice interrupted them.
"You are not Saren..." The voice came from a big red hologram that looked like the reaper ship from Eden prime.
"This is not good... what is that? some kind of VI interface" Garrus exclaimed
"Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, Incapable of understanding. There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension, I am Soverign"
"Soverign isn´t just some reaper ship saren found, its an actual reaper" Tali squealed
"Reaper, a label created by the protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they choose to call us is irrelevant, we simply.. are...Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lifes are measured in years, decades. You wither and die..We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence, before us, you are nothin. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything..."
"There is an entire galaxy of races united and ready to face you"
"Confidence born of ignorence, the cycle cannot be broken. The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilisations rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The protheans were not the first. They did not create the citadel, they did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them, The legacy of my kind."
"Why would you construct the mass relays, then leave them for someone else to find?"
"Your civilisation is based on the technology of the mass relays, our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.
"They are harvesting us! Letting us advance to the level they need, then wiping us out!" You could almost touch the fear that seeped from Talis voice.
"We are legion. we have no beginning, no end, we are infinit, free of all weakness. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. you cannot escape your doom"
"You are not even alive, not really. You are just a machine and machines can be broken. I will end you, even if i have to kick your ass with my own boot!"
"Your words are as empty as your future, i am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over"
Just then the windows in the room broke as an explosion occured outside.
"Commander, we got a problem" Jokers voice echoed from the comm."That ship soverign? it´s moving. I don´t know what you did down there. But that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half! And its headed your way, you better wrap up things in there, fast!"
"Roger joker, we are headed your way"
They left the broken console and moved towards the centre of the facility, where they would plant the bomb.
The Normandy soared through the sky like an eagle and landed infront of them. Kaidan and a few people from the crew carried the bomb to its final destination, and started working to arm it.
"We are being overrun commander, there are geth everywhere, they pinned us to the AA tower" Ashleys voice shouted from the comm.
"Can you handle it kaidan?"
"Sure, i´ll need some time to arm the Nuke"
"I´ll go and get ashley, then meet you back here."
"I´m heading your way Ashley, just hold on!"
Rehna Started moving back through the facility with garrus and tali hard on the heels. When they where halfway there, they where interrupted by Kaidans desperate voice over the comm.
"There are geth pouring out all over the bomb site"
"Can you hold them off?"
"There´s to many of them, i don´t think we can surive until you get here. I´m activating the bomb"
"what the hell are you doing Alenko?"
"I´m just making sure this bomb goes off... No matter what!... Its done commander, go get williams and get the hell out of here!"
"Screw that, go back and get Alenko"
Rehnas heart froze in her chest, she grabbed the railing so hard it creaked under the pressure.. No..no..no she repeated in her head... This can´t be happening, i can save both of them.. i can..
"The geth are pushing at our barriers, its to late for me commander, GET ALENKO!"
She could not think, could not breath, she felt the panic creep up as her whole body screamed... She punched the railing hard over and over again until her hand started to numb.. Garrus reached out and caressed her shoulder softly..
"Alenko.. radio joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site"
"yes... Commander.. I"
"it´s the right choise alenko.. you know that!"
"I´m sorry Ashley.. I.. I had to make a choise.."
"I understand commander, I don´t regret a thing..."
She walked towards the bomb site feeling like a ghost, like she floated above the ground, not able to sence anything... When they had reached kaidan they wiped out the last of the geth before saren showed up.. She tried to focus on getting him down, but her mind keept drifting away.. She heard him mock her, saying that he could kill her so easily, but she did not care anymore. Her mouth spoke by itself "We can beat the reapers if we work together" "You are indoctrinated" while there was only one sentence repeating in her head.. I just killed ashley...
Somehow she managed to win the fight because Saren headed of with a deep wound in his abdomen.
From the Normandys window Rehna watched as the facility blew up in a bright red explosion.. Somewhere down there, was one of her crew...
They had their usual meeting in the debreifing room, but nothing was as normal. A veil of sorrow clouded the room as they remained silent in memory of Williams. The first one to speak their mind was Alenko.
"It was my fault... if i would have been faster, she would not be dead.." he sobbed
"It was not your fault,Blame Saren, the Geth, or even the reapers, but not yourself"
"It should have been me instead of her!"
"I had to make a choice..."
"But why me!" He screamed out the despair she so well recognize.
"We needed to make sure the bomb went of, what if i would have gone after ashley and the geth had overpowered you, then this whole mission would have been in vain. Then maybe all of us would have been dead"
"It´s all so calculating, she dies so i get to live, she dies so that a freaking bomb can go off..."
"I know... I just..." She stared out in the emptiness infront of her.. not sure what else to say, what could she say, nothing could make it not happen...
"Lay it off Alenko, it was hard on all of us!" Garrus exclaimed from his corner..
"What do you know? You don´t care! You didn´t even know her!"
"Alenko that´s enough.. Its enough we lost ashley, we don´t need a fight amongst ourselves!"
"Even now... even now you take his side.. I have had enough of this.. can i please leave?.."
"Go ahead.. there's the door" She pointed angrily, giving him a commanding stare..
Kaidan Flew up from his chair and stormed out of the room, leaving the rest of them in silence yet again.
"We will have the rest of the day off, i have to contact the council... dismissed"
They all rose and left her, she collected herself before standing up and awaiting the usual scolding from the council. But it was not as she expected, they seemed to actually understand today was not the right time for that. She informed them of the mission and they asked some questions, before ending the call.
She went to the cargo hold to speak with the surviving salarians, Kapten Kirrahe had succesfully escaped with his crew intact. They were gonna leave on the next station the normandy docked at, she saluted them before returning to her quarters.
Her mind was still clouded when she entered her cabin, she crawled up in her bed and dragged the cover over her body, hugging it to try and find comfort. She had just lost a dear friend, even though she was the commander, and ashley was the annoying kid that always yelled for nothing. There was a place in her heart for every crew member, and one of those had just left a huge hole. She heard a knocking on the door that disturbed her silence..
"Am i disturbing you?" Garrus said while stepping into the room.
"Not at all, i think i could use some distraction right now"
"Good.. So, how are you feeling?" He said while taking seat on a chair close to her..
"Crap actually... You?"
"Alot of crap here too..."
She couldn´t help but let out a small chuckle..
She sighed.."Damn... why did she have to die..."
"Shit happens in war, if it wasn´t her it would have been someone else.."
"But i could have stopped it..."
"No one could have stopped that, not even you.."
"If i had reacted faster.. if i had.."
"You did not kill ashley, It wasn´t you who pulled the trigger, saren did.. you will avenge her.."
"When i see that bastard again he is gonna end upp with a hole in his head"
"He sure will.."
"I could so use a drink right now... or tons of them.."
"What would you say, if someone in the crew, might have smuggled some aboard and could have it right here in a few minutes?"
"I would say, Bring it!"
He laughed and stood up "I´ll be right back"
"You better have something strong!"
"Oh.. this is strong enough!"
He returned later with two bottles of some strange coloured liquor in his hands..
"Can i really drink that?"
"On our last shore leave i bought this, so we could celebrate when we came out victorious at the end. But i guess we need it more now"
"You certainly are prepared"
"I surely am, but remember that you owe me a drink for this"
"When did we come up with that agreement?"
"Just now"
She laughed and reached for one of the bottles but he pulled it away before she could grab it.
"So..?"
"Oh what the hell, i already owe you alot of drinks, give me that now!"
He handed her the bottle with the strange green coloured content.
"This smells really funny..."
"If you don´t want it, give it back" He said giving her a teasing expression.
"Nah ah.. This is mine now, i said it smelled funny, not that it smelled like shit"
He burst out in a heartily laughter before pouring up a glass of liquor for himself.
They heaved drink after drink and kept making jokes, each of them had put up a facade of happiness, to try and forget all the bitterness for a while. They both needed an escape, just a brief moment to forget all the darkness that seemed to constantly push their boarders.
"Rehna Damnit! That´s my drink, what if you get sick!"
"Doon´t worry... i´ll be fhiine..."
Before he could stop her she had swallowed the content of the glass
"Damn woman, you are crazy!"
"tsss.. Im commander shlepard! I can handle a litthle turian alchohol..."
He sighed, stubborn, stubborn human... now he had to watch her so she did not get an allergic chock or something..
"shoo.. Ya gonna shleep here or whaat?" Rehna slurred and wobbled in the bed..
"I think i can manage to walk the short way to my own bed Rehna, i´m not as drunk as you" Garrus chuckled.
"Cmmmon, i´m nhoot that djuunk.." her eyes where clouded and she could barely fix them at a solid point..
"You can barely keep your eyes open!"
"Ljuust, lie down here!" She patted on the bed for him to lie down "I pjooomis i won´t bite!"
He laughed again "aah.. what the hell.."
"Yey! Good Tuurian!"
He lie down beside her, it was a big bed so they still had a lot of room to maneuver..
"see..i didn´t bite!" She fell back at the bed, closing her eyes as she fell asleep...
He stayed awake for a while longer, to make sure she did not get an allergic chock, But nothing happened, so finally he decided to sleep.. she must be one of those that are immune.
