Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I in any way involved in the production or distribution of NCIS.
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Chapter 12: Love
Ziva had been at NCIS for a year, and it came as a relief to her that it was becoming less difficult to ignore her past.
Less difficult didn't mean it was easy, but it was easier than pretending. For eleven months of the year Ziva had spent at NCIS, she and Kate had been dating in secret. And every kiss, every whisper, every smile was darkened by how neither of them said the three words that Ziva had been thinking about since the first night they were together. She was tired of acting like everything was okay.
It wasn't acting, everything was okay.
A smile spread across Ziva's face when an especially moody secretary walked into the bullpen and carelessly dropped a bouquet on Kate's desk.
"Overly sappy delivery to Kate Todd. That's you, right?"
Kate pursed her lips and looked down at the flowers in front of her. "Yes."
"Okay whatever; tell your boyfriend not to waste my time and our tax dollars. I have more important things to do." The secretary managed to add in one more indignant eye roll before walking off.
Kate's sparkling eyes met hers, and the look that they exchanged would have given everything away, but Tony was too busy taking advantage of the perfect opportunity presented by the flowers. She should have predicted that he would.
"Oooh, Kate has a boyfriend. What's his name?" Ziva bit her lip and gripped the edge of her desk at the sight of Tony's victorious smirk. He thought he was clever. "Steven, Kevin, Joe, Brandon—I bet it's Brandon."
"I don't know anyone named Brandon, Tony."
"Of course you'd say that, he's your secret lover."
Kate rolled her eyes and attempted to return to her paperwork, but Tony thought it a good idea to steal the manila folder from her hands. "I'll give it back to you if you let me read the card that came with the flowers."
"Really Tony, are we going to be like this today?"
"Yes."
"I'm not telling you."
"Fine, you won't get to go home tonight."
"No!" Kate hit her fist on the table, regained what was left of her composure, and ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm busy tonight."
"With your boyfriend?"
"No." She sighed in frustration. "Fine. Yes. Just read the card."
Tony made a spectacle of the card opening, taking it and holding it up in front of his face before reading every word aloud, making Ziva wish she hadn't written anything at all.
"That was cute. But it doesn't say who wrote it. C'mon, tell me who it's from."
"You are jealous, Tony?" Ziva forced a laugh, trying to fight the urge to stab him with the nearest office supply. At the rate he was going, he probably had around fifteen seconds to live.
"No, Zi-va, I'm not jealous."
"Tony, give me the flowers and paperwork back."
"Not until you tell me who it's from." DiNozzo stuck his tongue out at Kate and picked a rose from the bouquet, smelling it exaggeratedly.
"I come in thirty seconds late for work and Tony's sitting on Kate's desk smelling flowers? I didn't know you were such a romantic."
"Quiet, McTardy. Kate's having a love affair with a secret boyfriend. And she's going to see him tonight."
Ziva hit her palm against the desk. "Give her the flowers back! And the paperwork."
Tony turned toward Ziva and sent her a bewildered stare before managing to regain his smug composure. "You know, Ziva…if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were the one who's jealous."
"I'd probably listen to Ziva if I were you, Tony."
Ignoring McGee's remark, he turned to face Kate again and opened the manila folder. "This looks like an interesting case. And Kate Todd still has five pages to fill out."
She had always been told that she was quick to anger, but this time Tony deserved it. Without thinking, Ziva rushed toward Tony, grabbed the flowers from his hand, and twisted his right arm behind his back. Her left arm wrapped around his stomach, and the pained grimace on DiNozzo's face as he dropped the paperwork in front of Kate told her that she was successful. "I told you to stop." Giving Tony a shove in the other direction, Ziva placed the bouquet on Kate's desk.
"Aww, did someone bring Kate flowers?"
"More importantly Abby, Ziva attacked me." Tony grimaced as he shook out his arm and slunk back to his desk.
"Ziva does that all the time, Tony. Kate, this bouquet is gorgeous! Was it a gift? I love it."
"I would love it if you would get to work instead of crowding around Kate's desk." For once, the sound of Gibbs growing irritated had actually come as a relief to Ziva.
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One year ago, if someone had told Kate that NCIS was empty without Ziva, she would have laughed in their face—or gotten furious with them and told them to leave. But it was true. The way she lit up the room, the occasional laugh, hearing her voice—something that still hadn't ceased to amaze her—and the little smiles from across the bullpen. Kate's life was just inches away from being perfect.
Everything was perfect, except for how she had no idea what they meant. And when they kissed, Ziva seemed distant. She didn't know either. Sometimes Kate wanted to give up and run.
The day was finally over; everyone had left except for Kate and Ziva.
Kate rubbed her eyes. "Are we going to your apartment tonight, or mine?"
"I do not know."
"Mine then. Meet me at the north side, this time."
"I will see you in fifteen minutes.
Kate took the elevator down to the ground floor of NCIS and pulled her coat closer to her as she walked outside and moved toward the side of the building. It was too cold to be waiting for Ziva, but on the odd chance that someone else was still there, leaving at precisely the same time as the other woman would look suspicious. And if they were to see them get into the same car, that would look even more suspicious. Maybe they were paranoid. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the wall and let out a deep breath. Almost a year later, she still didn't know where the hell she was going with Ziva. They hadn't spent a night apart in three weeks, but the other woman had started sleeping with her back turned toward her, and every night it seemed as if she moved further away from Kate.
"You look cold. You could have waited in the car."
"I know."
A silence passed between them, and Kate shifted her weight as she watched Ziva look away from her, suddenly taking great interest in the pavement. For a couple who had been together for so long, they shared surprising amount of sudden awkward moments.
For another several minutes, Kate went from staring at the sky, to the buildings around her, to the lamppost a few feet away, to sending a subtle glance toward the other woman. She shoved her hands into the coat pocket and exhaled deeply. Ziva wasn't going to say anything until she did. "What are you thinking about?"
No answer; and Kate squeezed her eyes shut. Was this some kind of fallout—no, of course not, Ziva had bought her an expensive looking bouquet just that morning—when the hell would she stop being so damned confusing? It drove her half-crazy, and at the same time for some inexplicable reason it made her love the Israeli even more. Was it really love; when was the last time either one of them actually went out and admitted that? Right, never. She wanted to scream, but of course that could only make the current situation worse. And it felt like they would be standing there forever, until Kate froze to death, because neither one of them would…
Her eyelids fluttered open when Ziva wrapped her arms around her, resting her head on Kate's shoulder.
The Israeli's voice was a soft whisper, but Kate had never heard the woman sound so absolutely certain in all the time she had known her. "I love you."
Kate stiffened, her knees shook, and she let out an involuntary laugh. "Wow." It was the only thing Kate could manage to say, she felt incredibly stupid for it.
"I…should not have said that." Ziva sounded heartbroken, but she didn't let go. Kate had never loved her more than she did at that moment.
"I love you, Ziva."
And Kate pressed her lips against Ziva's; she wrapped her arms around her waist, ran her fingers through her hair, and had never felt more amazing, so indescribably wonderful in her life. One thing ran through her mind, over and over. She loved her, she loved her, she loved her, she loved her, dear god she loved Ziva David.
Without warning, Ziva stiffened and broke away from Kate's lips. It would have been nice if the kiss had lasted for at least another eternity.
"Kate."
"Hmm." She let out a soft sigh and ran her hand along Ziva's cheek.
"Did you hear footsteps?
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Author's Note: This one took forever to write, for some reason.
And thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I enjoy reading them.
