Chapter 12

HQ
Monday

Heidi sat at her desk and worked her way through the left over paperwork she had from Friday. She was itching to get back into the chopper.

"So, Heidi, where did you get those fists of fury?" Dean asked. He was still sore at the fact that he hadn't gotten his chance with Jordan.

Heidi laughed wryly. "You know, it's funny – but it was actually Jordan who did. Remember when we found the rape victim at the carnival? Well, Jordan thought I needed to know how to protect myself after that."

Dean nodded, "yeah, I guess that came in handy back then too, didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did." Heidi said softly.

Lachie looked between Heidi and Dean, confused. "Not that I want to bring up something bad here, but how did it come in handy?"

Dean cleared his throat and waited to see if Heidi was going to proceed. "It was a tough one for Heidi, but we've all had tough rescues." Dean smoothed over it, and since Lachie didn't ask any more questions, he let it go.

Vince came out of his office, breaking the silence in the room. "Call out! There is a car that has gone into the water. It is not completely submerged, but is in a precarious situation."

The team grabbed their gear and rushed out the door.

Scene

The team pulled up with everyone filing out of the patrols. They were parked on the bridge that spanned over the river.

Dean and Lara ran to the side of the river and immediately recognized the vehicle. "That's Jordan's car, Dean." Lara whispered. "We should keep Heidi out of this."

Dean nodded. He turned back. "Heidi!"

Heidi turned and faced Dean as he approached. "You need to sit this one out."

Heidi looked at Dean, almost hurt. "What? Why?"

"It's Jordan's car."

Heidi looked shocked for a moment, but managed to compose herself. "What? Jordan?"

Dean sighed. This is what he was afraid of. He knew that deep down, Heidi still cared about him. "Just stay here unless we need you okay?"

Heidi nodded jerkily. "Sure… Whatever you say, Dean." Heidi leaned against the truck, praying that Jordan was going to be okay.

Dean strapped himself into the harness. He was going to be the one to get Jordan out. He found this whole situation to be somewhat ironic. "I'm going down." Dean was slowly lowered down towards the vehicle. "Jordan!" Dean shouted. As much as he didn't like the guy right now, he didn't have much choice but to save him.

Jordan looked at Dean, his eyes pleading with him. "Just leave me here, Dean. " Jordan shouted out the window.

"Not going to happen, Jordan." Dean said as he reached into the open window. "You're coming with me. You have caused enough grief and problem for this team."

Jordan closed his eyes. "I know. That is why I want you to leave me here. I will be better for all if I just disappear."

Dean shook his head. "That is the coward's way out Jordan."

Jordan's arm reached out, trying to push Dean away.

Dean could only think of one thing to do. He punched Jordan, knocking him out cold. Dean got Jordan out of the car and they were both hoisted to safety. Dean knew that he shouldn't have liked hitting Jordan, but to be honest, he had liked it a little too much.

Dean stood on the bridge with the whole team, watching Jordan being taken away in the ambulance. Once it disappeared, they all quietly returned to the patrols and drove back to the HQ.

Heidi

Heidi sat on her balcony, her feet resting up on the railing. She sipped her cold beer and sighed. She was really tired of the emotional toll of everything. She was sure that she was probably pretty close to burning out and completely running out of energy.

She ran a hand through her tangled hair and didn't fight the tears that threatened to fall. She needed to have a good cry on her own. She needed to let out some of the tension she had been feeling. The last few weeks had been some of the hardest she had ever been through. It had left her questioning her sanity and her job. But she knew that abandoning her job would be tantamount to Jordan winning, and she couldn't live with herself if she didn't try her best.

She could sense someone stepping out onto the balcony next to hers. She knew immediately that it was Lachie and not Chase, just because of the way his shadow was cast over her.

"Heidi." Lachie said quietly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Heidi shook her head. She was tired of having to constantly bare her soul to the Gallagher brothers. She appreciated the way they were always there to support her, but sometimes, she just wanted to wallow without have to talk about it.

Honestly, what she felt was guilt. She felt guilty that things had gotten so bad for Jordan that he felt the need to try and commit suicide. She felt guilty over what she had said to him the week before, and that she may have had a hand in what he had thought of doing. As soon as those thoughts struck her, she immediately began to feel angry. She was angry at Jordan for making her feel that way. It was Jordan who had gotten himself into trouble, not the other way around. Jordan was responsible for the things that he did. But somehow, she always came back to feeling guilty.

Maybe he can get the help he needs now, Heidi thought sadly. That was all she had ever really wanted for him, to get help and be he who used to be.

"Listen, I understand. I just want you to know that I understand. I've been there okay? When you go through war, things play on your mind sometimes." Heidi's silence hung between them. Lachie exhaled, knowing that he was getting nowhere. "All right, I leave you to your solitude. We're next door if anything, okay?'

Heidi turned and looked at Lachie and nodded sadly. "Thanks, Lach." She whispered, hoping that he had heard her.

HQ – the next morning

Heidi walked directly into Vince's office. "Vince, can we talk?" Heidi flopped down into the chair.

"Of course we can, Heidi-ho. What's on your mind?"

"I need some time off. I need to regroup." Heidi said, fidgeting in the chair. She hated asking for the time, but she needed a clear head to do her job. And to be honest, her head wasn't clear.

"No problem, Heidi. I will go into the field if need be. If you need the time, it's yours."

Heidi exhaled sharply. "Thanks Vince. I just need the rest of the week. I need a few days to clear my head."

Vince looked at her the way a father would his daughter. "Anything I can do to help you, Heidi? It would be my pleasure to do so." His concern for Heidi was very real. He just didn't feel like he could do anything about it.

"I'm okay, Vince. It's just this whole thing with Jordan. I don't know how to stop feeling guilty – as if his suicide attempt was my fault. Deep down I know that it's not, but somehow, those guilty feelings keep coming through."

Vince nodded. "Listen Heidi, I won't lecture you or try to tell you to feel something different. But what I will tell you is this – if it weren't for you, Jordan never would have hit rock bottom. And in order for him to try and get help, he needed to do that. You may have very well saved his life."

Heidi's eyes filled with tears. Emotions that she had hoped to conceal bubbled to the surface. Somehow, Vince had found a way to say the words that she had needed to hear. Just like a father would. "Thanks Vince." They both stood. Turning to walk to the door, she turned back. "Vince?"

"Yeah, Heidi-ho?"

"Can I have a hug?"

Vince smiled at her and pulled her into a fierce hug. "It's going to be okay, Heidi. In fact, when you come back next week, we are going to do something that you love."

Heidi laughed a little. "What is that?"

"Training exercises. But with the helo. We have cleared it with Lifeblood to use their chopper for a training run next Thursday. We are going to practice picking up patients using the helo."

Heidi grinned. Flying next week would give her something to look forward to. She pulled out of the hug and walked back out to greet the team.

"Hey guys. I'm heading out on vacation the rest of the week."

Lara smiled. She was happy that Heidi was going to actually take some time off. She had had one hell of a month. "That's great babe! You could use it. Go for a manicure, pedicure, massage… Pamper yourself a little."

Heidi grinned at the idea. She hadn't done that in ages. "Good idea Lara. I'll get on that."

The Gallagher trio stood as Heidi walked past them. Chase cleared his throat, and looked at his brothers. No one made a move to say anything, so Chase did. "Take care of yourself Heidi. Just remember that Lachie and I are next door if you need anything."

Heidi rolled her eyes. The Gallagher brothers were starting to show their overprotective side again. "I'm only taking a few days off to rest. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be back Monday." She shouldered her bag and walked down the stairs and out the door. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She couldn't wait to take care of herself and relax a little.

Heidi's first stop was to make the appointment for her beauty treatments. Her second was home to change into something extremely comfortable. She grabbed a book, slathered on sun block, poured herself a glass of water and sat out on her balcony, and just relaxed. As she sat there, soaking up a bit of sun and reading, she could feel serenity spread through her. Heidi sighed happily. This was just what she needed.