Moi: Bored... Bored... Bored...

Ella: Agreement.

Max: Why are we sitting in an empty hospital room, again?

Moi: Waiting for Gran to get out of surgery.

Max: Right...

Ella: Have any more snacks, V?

Moi: -checks purse- Nup. We already ate the Rice Crispies and the Fruit by the Foot.

Max: -sigh-

Ella: -sigh-

Moi: -sigh-

Everyone: -sigh-

Max: What do we do now?

Moi: -shrug-

Ella: We could make paper airplanes...

Moi: Nah, we did that an hour ago.

Max: We could doodle on the blackboard...

Moi: Nah, we did that, too, like, two hours ago. -blinks- Whoa, comma overload...

Ella: What else is there to do?

Everyone: -thinks-

Max: I got nothing.

Moi: Did we already blow pieces of paper across the floor with straws?

Max and Ella: Yep.

Moi: Darn.

Ella: Ooh! I know what we can do!

Moi: Do tell!

Ella: We can tweet!

Moi: ...my phone's dead.

Ella: Darn.

Max: You can say that again.

(That, surprisingly, took up an entire page in my notebook...)

Moi: That again!

Max: -smacks-

Moi: Ow...

Ella: Let's fine something to do before you two-

Moi: That rhymed!

Ella: -start trying to kill each other.

Max and moi: Okay!

Max: So what do we do now?

Ella: Erm... I hadn't gotten that far yet.

Max: -facepalm-

Moi: So what do we do now?

Everyone: -thinks some more-

Vera's grandfather: -babbles incessantly-

Max: -head(invisible)desk- Does he EVER shut up!? He's worse than Nudge!

Ella: Agreement.

Moi: Ooh! I just figured out how to turn two of my RFs into FFs!

Max: That's awesome, except for the fact that the notebook that the RFs are written in is at home, and we're not.

Moi: -sigh- I know. But when I get home, at least I'll have something to do!

Max: But we have absolutely nothing to do right now!

Moi: SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS! SSSSSHHHHHUUUUUNNNNN!

Max: -blinks- What the...

Ella: -cracks up- You gotta love Charlie the Unicorn!

Max: Who?

Vera: Seriously, DON'T ASK!

Ella: Thinking of that, what's the point of the What? fic?

Moi: -giggles- Oh, that. The first chapter is just the letter "H", but it gets better, I promise

Max: I guess so... I mean, you already told us it's going to be around 67 chapters long, not counting the A/N ending chapter that'll explain everything...

Moi: -smacks- Don't give anything else away!

Max: -rubs head- I wasn't planning on it!

Ella: -giggles- LIAR!

Max: -smacks- Shut up!

Moi: -lol-

Max: Hey, I just got an idea!

Ella: Ooh, what?

Max: Let's take the table apart and put it back together!

Moi: AWESOME idea!

-group highfive-

(One hour later...)

Moi: That was AWESOME fun!

Max: I know, right?

Ella: Totally.

Moi: Okay, so... what do we do now?

Everyone: -looks at each other- Food!

(In the nonstarbucks)

Ella: So why is it called a nonstarbucks?

Moi: Because it used to be a Starbuck's, but it isn't anymore.

Ella: Oh, okay...

Max: -grabs seventeen bags of chips- I want these!

Moi: Max, that's SEVENTEEN bags of chips.

Max: So?

Moi: Each bag is EIGHTY-NINE cents.

Max: So?

Moi: That's $15.13, not counting tax.

Max: Oh...

Ella: -cracks up-

Max: Can I still get some of them, though?

Moi: -eyeroll- Yes, Max. We can afford SEVEN bags of chips. That'd only be $6.23.

Max: Yayness! -skips off-

Moi: I wonder about that girl sometimes...

Ella: -holds up fruit salad- I'm getting this.

Moi: Okay... -looks around- Ooh! Barbeque chips! Me want! -lunges-

Ella: -eyeroll- You two are ADDICTED to chips...

Moi: C'mon, let's go buy this schtuff... And to keep you guys -looks at readers- occupied, here's an interesting conversation that happened sometime last weekend...

Moi what thehuiohcbvydsssssssssssssssssbgvceu67ctw8ny7a

Moi: vdrnytugbiuhelpgyuuuucbgtrmebgeua7sbgevilkbgyeriuxupersongyubigriybtryingbygirxnutobgcybxfckidnapbvgyexumecwnh

M.G: WTF?

Someone Unknown: Hi, everyone! I heard about a serial killer in Skittles' bathtub taking over her computer, and I just HAD to try it. Vera isn't here right now, in case you're wondering.

M.G: You're Java, aren't you?

SU: -leaves for a second-

SU: Sorry, I heard someone screaming. I had to make sure they were all tied- I mean, I had to make sure they were okay. And no, I'm not Java.

Skittles: Max?

Skittles: Ella?

M.G: Janica? Norman?

Skittles: Spongebob?

Skittles: Gary?

Skittles: THE DOORMAN!

SU: No, no, no, no, no, and no.

M.G: One of the Johns?

M.G Checkers?

SU: No and no.

Skittles: The serial killer in Vera's bathtub?

SU: No.

M.G: The cat?

SU: No.

Skittles: Iggy's Celery?

SU: No

M.G: Yuki?

Skittles: M.G?

SU: No and no

Skittles: Her sister, mom, or other family members?

SU: No

M.G: Vera?

Skittles: Vera's ghost?

SU: No and no

M.G: Vera's other personality?

SU: No

M.G: Sparky?

SU: No

Skittles: Saint? Fang?

SU: No and no

Skittles: SQUIDWARD!

Skittles: -glomps-

SU: No

SU: -bites-

Skittles: Yow!

Skittles: Dude!

Skittles: -bites back-

Skittles: You taste like evil...

M.G: How does one taste like evil?

SU: -kills Skittles using superawesome v- I mean, kills Skittles-

Skittles: Don't ask me, it's the one that does.

Skittles: -deadness!-

M.G: Vera... I know it's you. Maybe. I dunno...

Moi: bgcybsuchicagoguisnrgyevilbgyugeneticallybgyubxxniuwncxenhancedbngyubftrdvestgvampirevftrvyhvyuby

SU: I'm not Vera.

SU Does anyone have any other guesses?

Skittles: -holds a knife to your throat- Tell us who the fnick you are or else!

SU: -evil smile- Your petty little knife won't kill me.

M.G: Aren't you dead Skits?

Skittles: MG, shush it.

Skittles: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!

SU: Who am I, then?

Skittles: You are either Percy Jackson or Kronos!

SU: Neither.

Skittles: Shoot!

Skittles: Well, your someone that bathed in the river styx or whatever otherwise this 'silly little knife' would kill you.

M.G: Chi diavolo sei? Ci dicono ora.

Moi: vftaebvampirebbgyebus

M.G: Wait.... Vampire?

SU: Why would you think that?

M.G: You are a vampire...

M.G: Edward!

SU: No

Skittles: ALICE!

Skittles: Attalia!

SU: No

Skittles: Aro!

M.G: Rosalys!

Skittles: Caius!

Skittles Marcus!

SU: No, no, no, no, no, and no

Skittles: Jasper!

SU: No

Skittles: Emmett!

SU: No

M.G: Mahonee? Did she escape?

SU: No

Skittles: Esme!

SU: No

Skittles: Bella!

Skittles: Renesmee!

SU: I believe you would call me an oak, whatever that is.

M.G: An oak?

Moi bgftwyocbyucbwocbygubwocbfyyyysuocbgyebwaocbgyugw

SU: If you would excuse me for a moment.

M.G: Words I've picked out of the random letters: Genetically, and vampire...

M.G: Genetically enhanced vampire!

Skittles: Who's a genetically enhanced vampire?

M.G: I dunno... But that's what's in there...

SU: I am back.

Skittles Your a genetically enhanced vampire!

M.G: GENETICALLY ENHANCED VAMPIRE!

SU: -blinks- Why would you think THAT?

Skittles: Because...M.G said so...

M.G: I pulled it out of the random letter typing things...

Moi: gyvuebherbgyucinynamebngcsnuisbgcyiuxyuchicagoibgyuebymybbgvxymybbgxaiunzxygexbodyguardbbfxxeyjkznegy

SU: That is odd.

M.G: Chicago!

Skittles: name, guard, chicago

SU: Who's Chicago?

M.G: You're Chicago!

Moi: bgcazynyesbgyesnngyuzkehelpbgxyudngxymegyrdzu

M.G: Help me?

Skittles: You're Chicago! Vera's bodyguard!

Chicago (yes, she's Chicago): Help who?

Moi: bgfaznyiunyexbodyguardbyenxysgnshebngyurknzbukidnappedbgyzuynzuymebgyinzyau

M.G: Vera's been kidnapped by her bodyguard Chicago?

Skittles: You're her exbodyguard who kidnapped her...

M.G: Ah... Ex-Bodyguard.

Moi: bfgnjuybtsavebgfyunmebgyrznuagkyshenzgyiugoingbg4yzneyutobfzyuenjkillbxeybumebfysujgyj

Skittles NOO! YOU CAN'T KILL VERA!!

M.G: Save me she's going to kill me? YOU CAN'T KILL V!

Chicago: -blinks- I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

Skittles: YAHH! -attacks with a wooden stake-

Moi: bvftebsumommyvftujbsxvtdbx

Skittles: GAH! -fights-

M.G: -attacks-

Chicago: I AM A GENETICALLY ENHANCED VAMPIRE! NOTHING CAN STOP ME! -evil laughter-

Moi: bgazymahoneebngggggg

M.G: -lights match-

Skittles: MAHONEE!

M.G: Mahonee?

Chicago: Did I not say genetically enhanced? -destroys lighter with mind-

M.G: What does she have to do with anything?

Skittles: M.G GET MAHONEE! She can stop her!

Moi: bgxyumahoneebgyuscanbgyaxknjybgkillbgxyeuchicagobdeax

M.G: I don't know where she is!

Skittles: MG! -tackles- GET HER!

Moi: bgyehmgyuibgxyoubxyrujidiotbgfyxuxfhj

M.G: MAHONEE! GET YOUR A$$ IN HERE!

Mahonee: What?

M.G: ATTACK!

Chicago: -tries to destroy Mahonee with mind-

Chicago: -fails-

Moi: bfyzunuyyaynessbgxygnert

Mahonee: -smirks- -attacks-

Chicago: -bites-

Skittles: Even when she's about to die she still manages to say yayness...

Mahonee: -hisses- -kicks-

Chicago: -expects Mahonee to start screaming in pain-

M.G and Iggy: -watch-

Mahonee: AH! -lunges-

Chicago: Eraflytransgeeks! ATTACK!

Mahonee: Okay, WTF?

Max: -grin- I killed all of the Eraflytransgeeks, Chicky.

Mahonee: -spits in Mahonee's hair-

Mahonee: Thank you Max! -lunges at Chicago-

Moi: bgfyubznyxeraservbgyuxienkuflyboybzfathyutransformerbotsbgydsjmgeeksbgryzbjarebgxyskneraflytransgeeksbgyabrj

Chicago: -punches Mahonee-

Mahonee: Nice try, but I'm no Rosalie! -bites-

Chicago: -kicks-

Mahonee: -attacks-

Chicago: -punches broken leg-

Mahonee: AH! That. Is. It. -phases-

Chicago: -morphs into Eraser-

Mahonee: -snarls-

Chicago: -snarls in reply-

Mahonee: -lunges-

Chicago: -bites multiple times-

Mahonee: -tackles-

Chicago: -scratches-

Mahonee: -bites in reply-

Chicago: -latches teeth onto throat-

Mahonee: -throws off- -digs claws into skin-

Chicago: -licks-

Mahonee: -pauses- -shakes head- -bites-

Chicago: -pouts-

Mahonee: -phases back- Okay, WTF is your problem?

Chicago: -morphs back- What the heck is YOUR problem!?

Mahonee: I HAVE no problem! I don't go around kidnapping my creator...

Chicago: Because, like, you're naked and Iggy is standing RIGHT THERE

Mahonee: Iggy is blind.

Chicago: Damn. -pause- What about Carter?

Mahonee: -smirks-

Iggy: I'm here! Why are we talking about me?!

Chicago: Because Mahonee's naked.

Iggy:...this is a bad day to be blind...

Ella: -slaps-

Mahonee: M.G has no clue where he is. Probably off with some chick.

Mahonee: And Iggy? Perv.

Iggy: -slaps back- Don't be touching me, chica!

Ella: Iggy, I have Max. And I'm not afraid to use her.

Iggy: All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek amy! Oooohhhh

M.G: Iggy, seriously? Wow.

Mahonee: And Chicago, let Vera go.

Ella: With the taste of your lips I WAS on a ride, but not anymore. :P

Iggy: Shut up...it came on Pandora...

Chicago: -b----slaps Mahonee-

Skittles: Am I sensing a song fight?

Iggy: No...

Iggy: I hate everything about you.

Mahonee: -roundhouse kicks Chicago-

Skittles: I think I am.

Ella: Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated!?

Chicago: OOF! -eats-

Mahonee: You can't eat me! Vampire skin is way too tough. B----.

Iggy: Just shut up and drive!

Chicago: Have you not seen Jasper's scars? I can bite you. Which means I can eat you.

Skittles: Oooh! This one uses lyrics...Courtney and Tori's was just songs titles...

Ella: Ignore me if you see me 'cause I just don't give a s---.

M.G: COBRA STARSHIP!

Iggy: Your a hot mess...

Mahonee: -facepalm- And Chicago, Jasper is an effing pansy compared to me...

Ella: -slaps- Since you been gone, I can breathe, for the first time!

M.G: And I'm falling for you...

Chicago: I'm genetically enhanced, cagna.

Mahonee: You so got that from Vera, who got it from M.G.

Chicago: Do you think I CARE? -morphs again-

Mahonee: -phases again-

Mahonee: -growls and lunges-

Chicago: -attacks-

Iggy: My life would suck without you!

Skittles: When did Iggy suddenly want Ella back?

M.G: What is with all the Kelly Clarkson?

Mahonee: -dodges attack-

Ella: One thing leads to another!

Max: Ooh... Vanessa Amorosi...

Chicago: -snarls-

Mahonee: -snarls in reply-

Iggy: I can't think of a song to reply... -pause- OH! I got it... -another pause- Maybe...

Skittles: Just do it.

Iggy: Over and over, I fall for you!

Ella: Communist!

Max: Sweetie, it's "My friend, the communist".

Ella: -smacks-

Iggy: I make them good girls go bad.

M.G: Communism, or French toast?

Iggy: -facepalm- Why must you quote our science teacher?

Mahonee: -bites Chicago-

Chicago: -purrs-

Skittles: Lol...it sounds like Mahonee is saying she's biting the actual place Chicago...lol

Mahonee: -phases back again- Are you a cat or something? What?

Ella: Get over it!

Max: Actually, it's "Will I get over it?"

Ella: -smacks again-

Chicago: -morphs back- Uh...

Mahonee: No answer, huh b----?

Skittles: Backles!

Chicago: Whore!

Skittles: TWEET WHORES!

Mahonee: Sadistic kidnapper!

Chicago: SLUT!

Skittles: SLUTTY SADISTIC KIDNAPPER!

Mahonee: A$$hole!

Chicago: DUMBA$$

Iggy: You sound like Walter...

Mahonee: Tramp!

Chicago: Brissa lover!

Mahonee: Okay, what?

M.G: -facepalm-

Chicago: Volturi member!

Mahonee: -gasp- I'd never join those assholes! B----!

M.G: -cough- -cough-

Mahonee: What?

M.G: Never mind. It's H1N1. I'm sure those Thessalon people purposely breathed on me...

Max: Mahonee, what about Eleazor and Carmen? Do you think THEY'RE assholes, too?

Mahonee: NO! Just, Caius, Aro and Marcus are... And Jane. And Alec.

Moi: bfvtzbuanhelpbgxryygnymebgyuzngjuchicagosbfzyuyeugoinggfawjtocswexcfskillxasetmekjygbty

Mahonee: -sigh- -grabs Vera and pushes her away from Chicago- -attacks Chicky-

Chicago: -dies-

Moi: You owe me a new bodyguard...

Moi: THAT was fun... And here's another Christie and Bob skit!

Christie: This just in!

Bob: Apparently, that girl we talked to earlier, Skittles, has gone missing.

Christie; Her whereabouts are currently unknown.

Bob: She disappeared suddenly while chatting with two of her tweeps, M.G and Vera

Christie: Didn't we talk to Vera as well, Bob?

Bob: Why, yes we did, Christie.

Christie: Skittles has yet to reappear.

Bob: Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Christie: If you DO have any information, please call ####################

Bob: THAT'S not a short number at all...

Christie: -smacks- And that's the end of this new bulletin

Bob: Cat food!

Moi: And that's all I have to say...

Max: Ci

Ella: Oa!

Moi: Bye... R&R?