Authors notes:

Once more apologies for the delay, 70 hour weeks give me little time to stop and think about a story outline - that's not to say I don't day dream when I can! I know what I want to say, just want to find the right words to make them sound natural.

As always thanks for all those reading and for the patient few who review, you are so kind and lovely. It warms my heart to hear your generous & positive notes. Hope I don't let you down with this chapter.

Here goes nothing, wish me luck!

Where I Sleep

Kono's POV

There's nothing I won't steal or borrow,

I'll travel on a boat or areoplane,

I'll explore a world of sorrow,

'cause when I find you I know,

I know I'm a gonna be okay.

I could tell the ride to the airport hanger was uncomfortable for him, every bump in the road a grimmace was offered up and slight moan. You just know that when he moans or winces that it is just the tip of the iceberg. Mere mortals would no doubt of passed out a long time ago, but i've known he is no ordinary man for quite some time now. Ofcourse I can't just fall completely and madly in love with the guy next door, nope he has to bring something different to the plate.. the inability to recognize pain, the knowledge of always being right, the need to protect everyone to the detriment of his own safety, his stubborness, his ability to detach himself from a disagreement, his willingness to sacrifice his own happiness, and mine to keep me safe... the list is endless, and yes some of them cause me certain grievances, worries, concerns still. But would I have him any other way?

"Stop worrying! You know I can see it in your eyes, I'm ok, you found me, we're going home. I won't be doing this again in a hurry!" He smiles trying to radiate a comforting feeling for me.

I smirk "...don't make statements you have no intentions of even trying to keep, ... Husband - to be of mine" I whisper so as not to alert the others of our possible upcoming nuptials.

His eyes go wide, partly in surprise, partly in pain due to said surprise. I cringe and shrug a silent apology. He grasps my hand and brings it to his lips, whispering into them so only we can hear. "Mrs Kono McGarrett definately feels wonderful rolling off my tongue!" his eye's gazing into mine with a look that makes me feel weak as I catch my own breath with a gasp.

"You do realize I'm rather fond of 'Kalakawa' right? I mean in professional circles and all?" I breathlessly reply.

His face is quizical wondering if I'm joking or serious.

"Look it's not important right now." I graze a hand to his cheek trying to swerve the conversation elsewhere, it's not something he has to worry about for a while, well not today, this moment. "Your right, we are all safe and soon to be home back on Hawaiian Soil, the rest we can figure out later, when you have been given a full medical evaluation."

"Son, lets you get you on this plane and back home shall we?" Joe turns from the front seat to look at Steve. For a brief moment I see him as a young boy looking at a father figure in awe and love, it leaves a lump in my throat knowing that deep inside that is who he is. For so long he has had to deal with so much pain and sorrow on his own, to have Joe here as a force of good in his life at this time has undoubtedly been a positive thing. To see Steve in this light has been a blessing in our relationship, and I for one will be forever grateful to Joe for helping Steve realize that no matter what journey you are on, to have someone with you is all you need. I worry that his time captive in Korea hasn't set him back, I'm hoping that he will be able open up with me about what happened. He nods and I raise from my seat along with the others to aid him to the plane.

There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow,

There's nothing that I won't do for your kiss,

I'll love you like there's not tomorrow,

'cause nothing never felt like this.

We're finally up in the sky, he's fading in and out, desperate to stay awake, but fighting exhaustion all the way! His head leaning against the window looking out, knowing him with regret and guilt of the outcome. His eyes close momentarily no doubt in rememberence of Jenna.

"I've been told that my shoulder is way more comfy than a window to lean on." A whisper on my lips as my hand runs through his hair, he tenses for a second then breathes out slowly, closing his eyes only to return my gaze with a sad, tired smile and leans against me.

"It's a long flight home Steve, I'm not going anywhere, I am at your disposal for the whole journey. Just relax, let me take care of you for a change, you've done enough for a while. I love you even when your tired and monosyllabic, I love you when you smell of the jungle, I love you when my heart is in my throat praying for your safety, I love you in the depths of my deepest fears, Your it for me, nothing can compensate my feelings that I have for you, You are never going to get rid of me, I will follow you to the ends of the earth... " My hand still in his hair twirling the tight curls at the back, knowing how it relax's him, my other hand in his on my lap, making small circles in his palm, all of my relaxing techniques to lul him into a sleep. My lips rest on his forehead murmuring words of love, of comfort, of dreams for our future.

"...I can't wait to build my future with you. It's all I've been thinking about these past 2 days, who am I kidding, since the day I met you. I see us growing old with our children, grand children, great grand children all around us. I know there's still a small part of you who struggles to believe that you doing right by me, but you are Steve, without you I was so empty, I'll do anything not to feel like that again. Your it for me."

"I love you Kono Kalakawa" a quiet mumble as he finally relax's under my ministrations.

At somepoint I must of dropped asleep, as I wake to find him shaking his head and mumbling. "No, No, No, You sick son..."

"Steve, Steve honey, Steve, your okay, your just dreaming, your here with me, it's okay, things are going to be okay!" I don't notice the tears rolling down my face or the tone of panic in my voice as my hands reach to his face to bring him back to me. His eye's open wide staring at me in confusion, panic and then a blink and calm once more.

"Kono, I'm sorry." His hands raises to wipes the tears from my chin, and it stays there to to keep my focus on him, wether for him or for me, I don't care, our needs are the same, to know the other is okay.

"You have nothing to apologise for, do you hear me, absolutely nothing!" My voice coming out more sterner than I anticipated. "Are you okay, are you in pain, do you need me to get you some more painkillers or a drink? Tell me what you need?"

"Just you, here, with me, in my arms. That's all the medicine I need right now." He brings my lips down to his, and kisses me hard, a need to erase all thoughts of whats been. I'm only to glad to help. Afterall he's not the only one that needs this, this closeness, this need, confirmation that we are here together. I bring the blanket up to cover us both, not that we don't have privacy - everyone is to whacked out to notice us right now. All the same the need to be alone in our own little bubble wether it is just under a blanket is just too great.

He raises an eye brow at my action with a glint in his eye. "Steve" I say in a low warning voice "no matter how much I want to do more than kiss you right now, your in no condition to, and I for one don't want to prolong your ailments! So for now PG13."

"For now!" He confirms and claims my lips once more, until we are in eachothers arms once more asleep.

See the times are changing,

And I am sure of nothing, that I know,

Except this is us, and this is Love,

And this is where I am home.

I wake to the landing gear coming down, I find myself with my head on his lap, with him resting against my legs just staring at me, gently stroking me hair. "I thought you were supposed to be resting not me!" I yawn

"I was, then I woke to find this stunning beauty asleep on my lap and I found myself transfixed!" A shy smile briefly makes an appearance on his face.

"Transfixed hey? You must of been disappointed when she left and I turned up in her place!" I stifle another yawn and grin at him. I try to raise myself up, sure the position I'm in can't be that confortable for him.

"Don't you dare move, do you know how long it's been since you've slept with me, since I've seen you sleep? I used to watch you sleep all the time, you have such a calmness to your face when you sleep, it radiates to me, I feel it, it's soo soothing. I don't want to wait any longer, I don't think I can Kono. I need you home, I know your worried, that this may send me on a downward spiral once more. It won't, I promise, I know without you I can't focus, I can't think clearly. Lets get married, be my wife, be my companion, be my shoulder to lean on, my cornerstone. Kono, you are the only thing in this crazy life I lead that makes sense, that centers me, I know Danny likes think that he is my Zen Master, but it's you, it's always been you. Will you marry me, forsaking all others, for as longs as we both shall live?"

"...and beyond, Steve, you don't even have to ask, it's all I've been able to think about since the moment you proposed outside the office, well I say propose, there was no ring, I recall, it was more of a suggestion rather, possibly by me!"

"That's a yes? Am taking it as a yes... I'd offer to get down on bended knee here, but I'd need help getting back up!"

I raise up slowly so as not to cause any more damage to his fragile state and carefully hold his face in my hands and punctuating every word with a kiss to his bumps, bruises, cuts & lips. "Steve. McGarrett. I. Would. Be. Honoured. To. Be. Your. Wife. How's tomorrow looking for you, anything planned or scheduled?"

He pretends to recall upcoming appointments and looks back at me "Nope, just marrying the only women I've ever loved. Well not including my Mum and Mary orcourse!"

I can not hide my smile, it refuses to leave my face. We've landed and movement around the plan begins, Chin, Danny and Joe walk to us offering assisstance.

"You guys done making out in the back seats, or do you need more time?" "Another lap around the island perhaps?" Chin and Danny both chip in.

"Nope, we are good, well not good, one of us needs to go to the hospital, the other has a wedding to plan!" I say with a sly grin.

"I'm sorry? I think my ears are still popping, could of sworn you said a wedding to plan?" Danny says while banging his ears to knock water or something out.

"You heard right Danny, Kono has finally decided to make an honest man out of me, tomorrow!" Steve's arms lean heavily around Kono's shoulders, as aide, support, until Chin see's him wince and Kono buckle slightly. "I've got you buddy, don't want to crush your wife to be, save that for the wedding night." He winks at Steve!

"Oh no! He's going to be out of action for sometime, trust me. We may be getting married tomorrow, and I'll be moving my stuff back in tonight but until the dr's give him a full bill of health, I'll be in the guest room!" I half joke and wink at Chin, knowing that my fiance behind me has no doubt got a crest fallen face. I turn around and give him a chaste kiss and walk off allowing the boys to get him off the plane.

I'm from a generation undecided,

I'm restless and I can't help changing things,

But in all the noise and the excitement,

Your love is all that will remain.

I stand pacing the hosptial corridor biting my nails, waiting for news. I know that he's ok, that it's all hopefully just superficial, but none the less the worry that it's been over an hour doesn't help. Danny is not doing much better, I think Joe is thinking about knocking him out at one point just to ease the tension in the waiting room. Chin as usual quiet and stoic sitting in the corner, occassionally taking a worried glance at me. I try a firm smile of appreciation to put him at ease, but he knows I'm struggling to comprehend all that has happened the past 48 hours. It's times like this you have time to reflect on what could of easily been. Not just this chapter of our lives, but the past few months. How so easily things could of been different, how our lives have been pulled apart, only to come back together stronger than ever. Only weeks ago I was ready and willing to accept my lot and move on in a new direction. Leave behind this man, this incredible man, this man who I am looking forward to build my world around, who I have built my world around. How clear that memory is in my mind, that decision to accpet that it was time, that he no longer wanted a life with me and that I was okay with it. How could I ever of got that close? I feel myself shaking, look what this man has done to me, the effect he has on me. I feel strong arms surround me, Chin calmly whispering to me "I've got you, come sit down, he'll be out soon." Oh Chin, what would I do without you in my life, always there as a shoulder to lean on support when I need and often when I don't. "I'm sorry Chin, I thought I was fine, it's just.. it's just..." I sniffle.

"I know, it's been a long week for us all, and you don't give yourself enough credit, you are an exceptional woman. Don't go beating yourself up about something out of your control. He's fine, you know it, we all do. He'll be back to being reckless in no time!" He chuckles.

"Not if I can help it! Oh heck! Like I have that kinda of power." Now I'm dryly chuckling to myself, recalling how impossible in the past it's been to get him to take a day off when he's broken a bone or had concussion.

"Those marriage vows may come in use, they are legally binding I hear!... the whole obeying thing may help you now!" He is doing his best to lighten my mood, and it's helping, mind you he has had years of practice getting me out of ruts and encouraging me to see the positive side. I kiss his cheek and rest my head on his shoulder. "I am so blessed to have you as a cousin, don't tell the others, but your definately my favourite one."

"With so many to choose from, I feel quite honoured!" he winks.

There is a swinging of doors and the invalid looking slightly irritated and embarrassed being wheeled by a male nurse. "I did mention I could walk, but hospital policy!" He raises quote fingers and rolls his eyes. I rise to walk to him and kneel before him checking every part of him, making sure all is well.

"What did they say? Any internal bleeding? RIbs? Concussion? Are you sure you should be released?" Danny is now pacing infront of him sweeping his hair back every 5 seconds, obviously thinking he knows more than the doctors. Reading our minds he says "Hey when it comes to you and your stubborness I think I have a degree! Im sure you didn't let them know the half of your ailments!".

Not taking his eyes off me he speaks in a sardonic voice "Danny, I'm good, nothing that a warm shower, fresh clothes and being in my own bed won't solve." My eyes won't release from his, he nods to me letting me know to relax. I nod and raise up, he grabs my hands "I'm good Kono, lets go home." he kisses them and tries to stand.

"No you don't, stay where you are babe. I got this, thanks!" He says nodding to the nurse he takes over the wheelchair and grabs Steve's shoulders to place him back in the chair. "My turn to drive I think!" he smirks and wheels him out. With Steve's hand in mine we make our way out of the hospital. Steve looks back. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be back again in no time!" Danny jokes. "Too soon?" he looks me and I nod. Chin and Joe both offering an icy glare in his direction. Steve smiles "Oh it's good to be back!"

I said all my goodbyes to ego,

I gambled all I got, there's no plan B,

It's the first time that I've learned to let go,

It's the only place I feel like me.

After a quick pit stop at mine to grab some clothes we all head back to Steve's, no one in a particular rush to get back to their own lives. All aware how close it had been to losing part of our family, hell, we did lose someone. I try to be angry at Jenna, but I just can't, I know we will both struggle with this for a while. On entering his house, our house... it feels weird being here, knowing that this time it's not just for the evening. This time we won't just be living seperate lives in a shell of a house. We both know that it won't work. We are both determined to make this a home. I feel it, I feel a peace come over me. I go into auto pilot, going upstairs preparing his room, placing my things in the guest room. I see memories float by of both happy and sad times. I place my toiletries in the bathroom and recall us in the bathroom brushing our teeth, or me watching him shave, everyday things I had taken for granted, that I have dearly missed, that I get back. My heart leaps. I let go of all my fears, my worries, I see my face in the bathroom mirror become visably calmer. I'm home, where I need to be, where I want to be, with the man I Love.

"What you doing up there? I can't believe he would of left it in that much of a state, he's a flaming neat freak for goodness sake!" Danny yells up exasperated. I smile at myself and head downstairs. The boys look at me as I makemy way into the the living room. "So what did I miss?" I sigh, grabbing a bottle from the table and taking a seat by Steve who grabs my free hand and rests it on his lap incased in his own. "Danny's just being Danny as usual, over dramatising... making the whole experience sound more like a scene from The Great Escape!"

"Hey! People have often mentioned my likeness to Steve McQueen I'll have you know!"

"What short sighted people?" Chin mocks. Oh it's so good to hear laughter in this house, with these people. "Hey! I expect it from him, but you Chin, really? that hurts!" Danny looks offended, yep just another evening with the gang.

After a while Joe glances at Steve and makes a point of rising to his feet and in turn Chin does too. Danny being the only one not taking the hint. "Here let me help you up old man." Chin grabs Danny and begins to head to the door.

"What we're going? Okay, but I'll be back tomorrow to check in on your, besides we have to get you both to the courthouse without incident, maybe it's not to late to get the seals back to help us!"

"Night Danny!" Both Steve and I sigh. "Hey Guys, seriously, thanks. You didn't have to, but I am so grateful you did. I owe you big time." Steve's sudden serious note brings us all to attention.

"That sound like an offer of paperwork duty to me!" Danny mentions and we all smile.

The door closes, and it's just us, atlast. Where it all began, I bite my lip, suddenly all to aware of myself.

"Don't!" Steve looks at me and smiles.

"Don't what?" I pretend to look innocent.

"Let's go to bed!" He raises an eyebrow and smiles. "Your gonna have to give me a hand though, I feeling a little stiff right now.

"STEVE!" I gasp.

"You know what I mean't, don't get me wrong, give me a few days for these aches a pains to deminsh and I'll be on top form, but right now I need a shower and bed!"

"Do you want me to get the boys back to help you in the shower?"

"NO! Women, can you imagine? NO! I'll be okay, and if not I'll call you." He winks "Now help me up the stairs Women!" he raises his hands in front of himself waiting for me to drag him off the sofa.

"Yes Commander!" I roll my eyes place my feet by his and pull. "So this is how it's gonna be huh? you gonna be bossy at home and at work, cause I'm not sure that's going to work for me."

"Oh really, I think it's going to be amazing. Someone at my beck and call 24/7 isn't that what a wife is afterall?" he smiles as I gently push him up the stairs.

In a world that's breaking,

Where nothing is for keeps,

Oh, this is us, this is love

And this is where I sleep

I finally have him lying on his bed in his pj's, looking completely shattered. And little help was required here and there, but nothing to difficult to cope with. I sit on the side of the bed just looking at him, taking him in, every crease, every bruise, cut, wrinkle. My hands slides to his face and glides over his forehead and cheek. I feel my eyes stinging once more with unshed tears. His hands grasps mine and lays kisses on it. "Kono Kalakawa, will you do me the honour of being my wife tomorrow? but before that will you just stay with me tonight, I don't think I want to let you go. I don't think I can." He shakes my hand in his, mock trying to release me.. "Nope, see it's stuck!"

"Steve..."

"Just lay with me, that's all, talk with me, I'm not sure if I will be able to sleep on my own."

"I was going say... there is nothing I would love more right this moment. I don't think I could leave your side if i tried."

I lay down facing him, my hand still in his and resting on his lips. And we just lay silently for awhile drinking eachother in. My spare hand reaches for his chest, the feel of his heart beat bringing so much comfort to me. He winces slightly, both of us forgetting the scars of hours of torture rained down on him, my eyes raise in horror. He shakes his head and places my hand back on there with his own, knowing what I need.

"It's okay baby, I'm good."

Silent tears run down my face, grateful for having him back. "Steve, I love you so much, when I thought that I'd never see you again. I knew I wouldn't survive without you. You can't do that to me again. I know I said I was okay about it, and I understand that it's who you are, and I love you for it, but I don't think I can go through those feelings again." My voice cracks and my face turns into the pillow to hide my sobs. I feel his hands on my head, on my back, willing me to look at him to come closer. There's nothing I want more that to be in his arms, but I know that he's in no state. I hear his gently shushes and his lips descend on my head in my hair, by ear bringing me to calm.

"I know baby, we're going to be just fine Kono, you'll see. Your so strong, I know you like to show your strength, but it's ok to be worried, our jobs aren't your everyday jobs, and we are going to get into scrapes. You don't think my heart stops every time I see you run into gun fire, but we both know we are competant and have a great team behind us. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know that right? I promise to scale down my reckless behaviour, and I promise to let you in to my own worries and concerns. I love you soo much and will do anything to keep you safe and with me. I'm not making the same mistake again. Now sleep, there's plently of time to talk I promise."

I raise my face from the pillow and wipe my nose and reach into a kiss, a soft, slow kiss, filled with so much more than love, so much want and need. "Oh Husband to be of mine." I groan resting my forehead against his.. "You have a way with words, and I love every single part of you for it."

This is us, this is love and this is where I sleep...

Author's notes:

So sorry it took so darn long, had a different song in my mind and it just wasn't gelling until I heard this in my car and it all fell kinda into place. Hope it doesn't suck to bad.

Hopefully won't be too long till the next chapter.. not entirely sure where im going, have 3 songs left ... by the looks of it, it may get fluffier - be warned!

Much love to all the patient readers... If your anything like me the McKono fic draught we've be having, has almost been as depressing as the show being of air.. not long now - well 2 months =D