*** Still busy as ever, but I'm so happy to be continuing the story. Things are starting to heat up for Alex at the academy. She can't seem to stay away from trouble! We're getting closer to the reunion…Friday is almost here for our divafied crime fighting duo. I'll be introducing some new characters too in the next couple of chapters, so keep your eyes open. As always, please enjoy and leave comments and feed back. It's much appreciated. Love you guys!! ***
Ten Times Over
Chapter Twelve
Day two. 5 am came fast and furious for Alex. She was woken up to the sound of DI Robertson screaming at the cadets to "Get on their faces!"
As she peered through half closed blinds, all 35 recruits were face down on the ground in a push up position. Robertson was relentlessly attacking Brianna Federov verbally, and this really fueled a fire in the pit of Alex's stomach.
Don't do it Alex….this is part of their training. They are all adults and can handle themselves accordingly.
She kept repeating similar verses in her head for several seconds, but her protective nature got the better of her and before she could stop herself, she was storming out the door in her sleep shorts and tank top, making a beeline for Robertson.
"THAT'S ENOUGH WALT! GET AWAY FROM HER……NOW!" Alex looked like a crazed animal.
Her face was crimson, her flaxen hair awry, and her fierce blue eyes pierced like darts through her smart, black rimmed glasses. She caught herself and unclenched her right hand which was wound tight into a ball, ready to unleash holy hell on the immense drill instructor.
Alex heaved her chest up and down as she panted out of breath, quickly realizing she had 34 wide eyed and stunned police recruits standing at full attention. There was one student however, huddled in a mound on the pavement; Federov.
Alex pointed her finger at Robertson and hissed through gritted teeth as she circled closer to the girl….. "You….you stay away from her…..you hear me?"
Clearly perturbed, but too shocked really to do anything, Robertson put both of his hands up and calmly tried talking Alex down…."Ms. Cabot…..relax….please….this is just…just part of their training. We go through this every morning, every evening and about a dozen other times throughout the course of a day."
Alex ignored Walt and she bent down next to Federov. She reached a hand out to help the weary girl up, but was taken aback when she was pushed away.
If looks could kill, Alex would've been DRT (dead right there) Federov growled….."Get away from me Cabot….I can handle myself. I don't need you daunting over me like a baby….now step the fuck back and LET. ME. GO….."
Alex did what Brianna ordered, and stumbled backwards a little as the cadet jumped to her feet. Clearly mortified, the woman clad in her uniform ran past all the others who just stared straight ahead, and disappeared into the female dormitory.
"Class! Fallout!" Robertson roared and in an instant, 34 bodies were a sea of asses and elbows scattering about the campus.
Alex's eyes met Walt's and she felt a wave of nausea overcome her. She could see the veins throb on either side of his neck and she knew he was using extreme restraint with her.
"Ms. Cabot, take 10 minutes to gather yourself, and meet me in the instructor's lounge. You and I need to have a talk about your display here this morning and how we run things at this academy. Now, I mean no disrespect to you Counselor, but if you don't pull your act together and get a grip, you'll leave me no choice but to call Liz. Don't think for a second I won't have her ship your ass out of here. Don't, and I mean DO NOT force my hand". He turned on a dime and was gone, and she did the same.
FUCK! Fuck…Fuck…Fuck….I'm screwed….what the hell was I thinking?
As Alex clamored around and threw some clothes on, she couldn't help but think about Brianna Federov. She was just trying to help, why did she reject her like that? It was clear Alex's own troubled past reared it's ugly head this morning and she knew she was walking a fine line. She needed to make things right, on all accounts. First things first though, mend and smooth over Robertson.
Alex stood inside the instructor's lounge and heard the militaristic thud, thud, thud of jump boots snapping against the linoleum floors.
Walt entered holding two cups of coffee and without saying a word, handed Alex a cup and motioned for her to have a seat. She obliged on both offers.
Walt let out a deep breath before he spoke "Ms. Cabot look, I'm not sure just what you know or don't know about law enforcement academies, but you got a small taste of it this morning. Everything we do around here, it's for a reason….right down to the extreme physical aspects and mind fucks….excuse my French"…..
Alex looked at the man and nodded her head "Walt, please call me Alex and I know….I'm…..I'm so sorry. I eat, sleep and breathe cops….court….perps….I….I don't know what happened….I saw Brianna on the ground and….well….it just brought me to a terrible place…I thought she….I thought you….you hurt her".
Walt closed his eyes "I can see where you're coming from and I'm sorry that happened right outside of your window….that's my fault. Here's what I want you to understand about Brianna Federov though, she is the toughest recruit I have….period. She's tougher than three quarters of the men for christs sake and I push her the hardest out of them all. She wants it that way Alex and she will be the most successful and gifted cop NYPD has seen in awhile".
Alex sits in silence and despite the intimidating front Robertson displays, she's quite impressed with just how rational and sensitive the man really is.
"Thank you for bearing with me, and I'm sorry if I caused such a scene this morning. That will never happen again." Alex isn't use to having to swallow her pride and humble herself. She is after all the "Ice Queen".
Dammit Liz…lesson one learned…practice restraint and know when to keep your mouth shut……
"You're right Alex….that won't ever happen again because I run the show around here. I know you are quite accustomed to calling the shots, making decisions well above my pay grade, but you aren't anything here except our guest….got it?"
Lesson two…..the truth hurts sometimes…..
"Yeah, I got it". With that, Walt dismisses her and she heads back to her cabin to get ready for class.
Ugh…how am I going to face these people this morning after what happened?
Alex showers, washing away the turn of events from earlier. She knows to keep her head up as ADA Cabot will not accept defeat. She needs to stay focused and do what she was sent here to do, teach these recruits the law. Her ass is on the line and she's running out of chances.
It's 7:58 am and Alex is right on time. She opens the classroom door, and is greeted by 35 sharply dressed recruits standing at attention in front of their chairs.
"SEATS!" Alex hears Federov's voice command from the back of the room, and all 35 sit in unison.
Alex decides to play along, and realizes she needs to start treating these people with the respect they've earned thus far. She needs to stop acting like a clueless airhead that is constantly surprised and shocked with the way things are executed around here. She needs to stop acting like this is the first time she's been around a para-militaristic organization. It's insulting to them. She gets it now. She insulted Brianna this morning.
Lesson three….treat people the way you want to be treated….
Alex decides this isn't the time nor the place for apologies. She has a curriculum to instruct. She figures the recruits must do things together after hours for recreation and relief; she'll find out and take care of business later.
Instead of verbally greeting the class as she had done the day before, she takes back her stoic and cold persona, and simply nods her head as an intro as she looks over the crowd.
They want professional, they'll get professional…and then some.
"Elements. Plain and simple. Who knows what they are?" Alex wastes no time and acts as if the earlier morning drama hadn't even occurred.
"You mean in reference to crimes Ms. Cabot?" The voice is familiar. It's no longer angry. Federov speaks and 34 heads turn to look at her, then to Alex. The class could have cared less what the answer was, they were more intrigued as to the interaction that was about to take place between the two women.
Lesson four….never judge a book by it's cover…..
"Yes….the elements of crime". Alex gulps and can feel her nerves begin to stir. She's in control however, and the physiology of what she is feeling isn't apparent to everyone else.
Brianna….you wanna play ball? We'll play ball…..
Federov locks eyes with the ADA as she answers…….. "Ms. Cabot, when referencing the law, it is generally agreed that the essential ingredients of any crime are number one, a voluntary act or omission, and number two, an accompaniment of a certain state of mind powered with or by an act. An act as you well know, may be defined as any kind of voluntary human behavior. Criminal liability on the other hand, requires that the harm done must have been caused by the accused. The true test of the causal relationship between conduct and the result however, is that the event would not have happened the same way without direct participation from the offender."
A low whistle sounds from the middle of the room followed by a couple of snickers and sneers. All eyes are now on Alex for the retort.
My God…..she's brilliant. Why is she wasting her time becoming a police officer?
Lesson five….see individuals for who they are, not for what you want them to be….
Alex refuses to let the genius in the back of the room know how impressive she is. She knows this will add to her already inflated head and decides to teach the young woman a lesson.
"Thank you Ms. Federov for the in depth dissertation. I simply wanted what the 'act' and 'state of mind' are called. I know what the rest embodies".
Alex watches as Federov raises an eyebrow and sits silently, seeming to stare right through her, clearly not shaken one bit by the banter, but rather amused.
This little bitch reminds me of me when I was in law school….that's not good. I may have met my match with this one.
Alex's attention is drawn to a raised hand to the left of her. She glances towards the awkwardly handsome young man in the second row. She scans the seating chart on her desk and points to him…."Yes Mr. Hardy, go ahead"……
He smiles professionally but she can see it's backed with sarcasm "Ah what you're looking for M'am I believe is Mens rea and Actus reus".
"Thank you Mr. Hardy, that's right. Attention to detail people, as I stated, plain and simple".
Alex glanced towards Federov for a reaction. The woman sat staring back, slightly nodding her head. She read the ADA loud and clear. Game on…..
Alex now addressed the entire room "You see, it's not about what the right answer is, it's about how you answer the question. When you people get up on the stand one of these days soon, don't give the defense any more than they need. Remember in most cases, less is more, keep it simple".
The students seemed to like what they were hearing as pens scratched madly away in notebooks.
"So, moving on with elements….let's expand on those for a bit….." Alex carried on for the rest of the day speaking wise words to the group. She quickly grew accustom to the routine of line formations, physical activity and strict schedules.
She was invited by DeRosantis to join the platoon for dinner, which she respectfully declined. She instead decided to leave the campus and head into the very small town to get something to eat.
On her way into town, she passed a series of very large and very old brick buildings. The village of buildings sat approximately a half of a mile behind the academy. She read the sign as she passed, and a chill crept her spine… Oak Wood Mental Health Facility for Adults.
The small sub town of Ithaca called Johnstown, was miniscule. You were through it in the blink of an eye. Alex decided on Amy's Deli for dinner, grabbing a salad and a cup of homemade chicken noodle soup. It was good….damn good.
Alex smiled as she thought about her detective. She picked up her cell phone and dialed…. "You've reached Detective Olivia Benson….I'm not able…" Alex closed her eyes and hung up without leaving a message.
"Dammit Liv….I miss you so much". A tear rolled down Alex's cheek. Tuesday was over pretty much and Wednesday would be here soon. Two more days….
Lesson six….absence makes the heart grow fonder…..(like hell it does)
It was nearly 7:30 pm and Alex figured she better get back before nightfall, as this was a place she wouldn't want to be alone or lost.
She parked her car and walked slowly back to her cabin. She decided before turning in however, that she'd explore the campus a bit.
Alex could see lights on in the gym. One of the bay doors is cracked open and she stands in the shadows as she peers in. Music blares and she makes out the angry words…..
'Something must be done
About vengeance, a badge and a gun
'Cause I'll rip the mike, rip the stage, rip the system
I was born to rage against 'em
Fist in ya face, in the place
And I'll drop the style clearly
Know your enemy...Know your enemy!'
Alex watches as the incredibly fit woman wearing an olive drab tank top and gray academy shorts, dances around one of the hanging heavy bags. Her hands are wrapped in athletic tape and she pounds the bag relentlessly moving it more with every punch. Sweat drenches her from head to toe and glistens over her toned and raging muscles.
She's stunning….clearly stunning and Alex is disturbed. She owes Federov an apology but this isn't the time. She's sure the woman is picturing her face on the bag as she plows into it.
Alex leaves well enough alone and backs away. She walks past the next building. It appears to be a rest room that is now out of commission and being used as storage. She can see what she believes is the flicker of a flashlight coming from inside and decides to investigate. She faintly hears a woman's voice and calls out…."Hello? Anybody in here?"
The air is still and thick inside the small building. Alex comes to a closet door which is closed. On the floor outside of the door, is a flashlight growing dimmer by the second. She can hear the woman's voice coming from the closet and she puts her ear against the door to listen….
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me, and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me… I do not nullify the grace of God; for if justification comes through the law, then Christ died for nothing."
Alex instinctively knows what she hears is desperate and not good. She can feel the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Alex tries the doorknob, but is met with resistance indicating it was locked. She's watched Elliott, Olivia and the rest of the unit, bust through enough doors and looks to see which way this one opens.
"Shit! It opens inward and to the left….who the hell designed this place?" Alex can hear the woman inside and the words that are now a constant stream, no longer make sense.
Alex feels her hair and discovers what she was looking for, a bobby pin. She picks up the flashlight and uses what ever little light was coming from it and holds it up to the doorknob. She feverishly picks at the lock and in a few seconds hears the 'pop' she was hoping for. Alex puts down the flash light and counts to herself under her breath…."one….two….three…."
She shoves the door hard with her left shoulder and as it opens, she identifies herself…."This is Alex Cabot!….I'm with the police academy….I don't want to harm you…I'm here to help…."
Alex feels in the pit of her stomach that maybe this wasn't the safest way to do this. Olivia would be pissed that she had no back up and no weapon. She taught her better than that.
Lesson seven…..don't bite off more than you can chew….
The door suddenly rushes open and Alex is grabbed by her right arm and pulled inside. "No! No no no nooooooo! Not again……"
She flashes back 20 years, and fights the vile and terrifying experience from her mind. Alex finds herself face to face in a space no larger than 3 feet by 6 feet with a woman at least 4 inches taller than her, 250 pounds as a rough estimate, buck ass naked and stark raving mad.
The door shuts and Alex is now once again in the fight for her life. The ranting woman lunges at Alex, grabbing for her neck as she spews jumbled verses from the Bible. Alex is able to draw her right knee up and brace herself on the wall behind her as she sinks her foot into the bulging abdomen of the maniacal female.
It works enough to get the beast away for just a second so Alex can regroup, thinking of her next move. She screams at the top of her lungs "HELP! HELP ME…….PLEASE! SOMEBODY!"
Alex looks up only to see that the woman has ripped the curtain and it's rod from the wall. As she tries the door, she is met with the sharp end of the broken metal rod in her neck. Alex struggles with both hands to keep the rod at bay and away from her jugular. She stares into the eyes of the lunatic before her. No one was home, all Alex could see was pupils, dark black pupils….like a zombie.
"Lady please! Don't do this….." Alex smells it before she sees it. The woman is defecating and urinating all over the floor. Alex gags at the revelation.
The woman yells from the throws of her belly "Oooohhh yeah! Get them demons out baby! I'm gettin them demons out! Hell yeah!"
The sweat pours from Alex's brow and stings her eyes like mace. She blinks hard to keep the steam from blinding her. She thinks of Olivia and how she wishes her girlfriend would come to her rescue.
Alex snaps out of her trance and continues to fight the woman for the curtain rod. Suddenly, she hears a voice. It yells her name. It's a female but it's not Olivia, this she knows for sure.
"ALEX! Alex! Where are you standing in this closet? Which side?" Alex yells back "I'm on the right!"
"Alex, stand as far back up against the far right wall as possible ok?!"
Through tears, Alex cries "O o o….Ok ok ok".
With an ear deafening "BANG!" the door crashes open smashing into the forehead of the insane woman, knocking her unconscious. Alex watches as she falls back against the opposite wall sliding down it, into the pile of her own feces and urine.
Alex jumps from the closet and falls to the floor outside. Brianna Federov breathes fast and deep kneeling next to the ADA taking her into her arms….. "Cabot!....Cabot…..Alex!....hey! it's ok….it's ok….I'm here….I got you…."
Clearly in shock Alex mumbles "What the fuck just happened? Who the hell is that woman?"
Federov rips a pair of handcuffs from the back of her shorts and within seconds, drags the still unconscious and bleeding woman from the closet and secures her with ease. "I called for help the minute I heard you yelling from inside of here. I think this one escaped from Oak Wood….the mental health facility just down the road. It will be ok Alex….."
Alex still too upset to respond, just gulps and nods. Derosantis, Robertson, the doctor, both nurses and several orderlies from Oak Wood arrive seconds later.
Robertson helps Alex to her feet. "Oh my God Alex….are you ok? How….how the hell did this happen?" His voice is angry now, but not at her. He points a finger in the face of one of the orderlies "Get your patient and get the fuck off my grounds! Keep your animals on your side of the god damn fence!"
Without a shred of emotion, the woman is injected in both thighs with 'Vitamin H' (Haldol), secured with a straight jacket, and covered with a blanket before being hauled away back to Oak Wood.
Federov turns her attention to the blond attorney "C'mon Cabot….I'll walk you back to your cabin. You've had enough for one night….besides….you need your rest for tomorrow".
Alex looks confused "Tomorrow? Whats tomorrow other than Wednesday?"
Federov chuckles "Tomorrow I kick your ass in legal….I let ya slide today".
Alex barely lets a smile crack her face, but she can't help a small sigh escape "Ahhh Brianna….I think you're gonna be good for me."
Once back at Alex's cabin, Federov looks at her "Listen, I'm real sorry for what happened to you tonight, but you and I need to have a talk about back up and using your head for stuff other than twisting the law around those pretty little fingers of yours".
Alex is taken back by the comment. This girl has no clue who she is, where she's been, or what she knows. She takes the words in stride however, and practices lesson number 8…..there is a time and a place for everything….
"You wanna talk about it? How'd you end up in the closet of the old restroom anyway?"
Alex lets her defenses down and hands the woman a shot of bourbon.
"Sure, what the hell…" Federov takes the tumbler and downs the amber liquid. She can feel it burn all the way down into her stomach and her nerves quiet down.
Alex swallows a hefty dose of the bourbon as well, letting it slide, warming her insides before answering.
"Well, I left campus for dinner, headed into town. When I got back, I thought I'd familiarize myself with this place and started walking around. I got to the gym and I saw you….I saw you working out, so I left and headed towards the restroom building. That's when I heard her….I didn't know Brianna, I thought maybe she was stuck, needed some help…I never thought for a second it would be an escaped mental patient for God's sake"…..
Lesson nine…..never let your guard down and pick your battles wisely…..
Federov cocks her head "You've got a point counselor, BUT why the fuck would you risk getting yourself hurt or killed if it could be helped?"
Alex agrees "Touche….you my dear, have got a point as well. I have no excuse for that. I know better….do you know how many search warrants I've executed with my unit and the SWAT team? Probably double your age….I had blinders on….I put you at risk too Brianna….and I'm sorry."
The woman smiles "Nah…it's ok Alex….it was great practice for the real thing. At least I know I can knock a bitch out!"
Both women roar into laughter. Alex softens her eyes at the now blushing Federov "You're a tough cookie Bree…brains….braun….you're the real deal….complete package…NYPD is lucky to have you."
Federov can feel her stomach quiver at the compliment. She finds Alex completely captivating but knows she needs to tread lightly. This woman is way out of her league.
"Aw thanks Cabot….I'd say SVU and the NYPD is pretty lucky to have you too….and where did 'Bree' come from?"
Alex laughs "Boy….you don't miss a thing do you….."
Brianna rolls her eyes "Apparently I do…..you seem to feel I have an issue with paying attention to detail"….
Alex knew this was coming……. "Look, Brianna, don't take me putting you or any of the other recruits in your places from time to time, to heart. It's nothing personal and you don't know everything. Granted, you know your shit….probably better than every cadet in there, but realize this….you have nothing to prove to me. I learned from a person near and dear to me, that the day you feel you know it all, it's time to hang it up and find a new career. Law enforcement Bree, is one of those jobs where you're always learning…..embrace it".
Federov looks truly enlightened "Thanks Alex……"
Alex smiles "No Federov….thank you….I owe you one….and I'm sorry….sorry about being a fool and trying to be a lone hero, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable in class today….and I'm sorriest for all for treating you like a baby this morning when Robertson was yelling at you. I had no right to do what I did and the only person that looked dumb out there was me".
Federov winks at the ADA. "You didn't know Alex, you were just trying to protect me. How can I be mad at you for that? I was angry with myself and I took it out on you".
The woman puts her hand on Alex's shoulder calling a truce.
At that, Alex's phone rings and she answers it without looking at the caller ID.
"Cabot…….oh…hey you!" It's Olivia….she saw the missed call from earlier. She explains to Alex that she was at the hospital with a new victim. It appears Barnett is at it again.
Federov swallows hard. She heard the excitement in Alex's voice and knew the person on the other end of the line was more than a friend or co-worker. She was perceptive, probably too perceptive for her own good, and this was something she knew she'd have to keep in check. She didn't know why, but all of a sudden a tinge of jealousy rocked her soul.
The recruit waves at Alex and mouths "I'll see you tomorrow…." Alex nods and closes the door.
Olivia's voice is like her saving grace. She just wishes the detective were here to hold her. She rolls around the notion of telling Olivia what had happened earlier and knows this isn't a good idea. She knows the detective all too well, and wouldn't put it past her to drive all night just to be at her side. She doesn't need any more distractions and knows Friday will be here soon enough. She'll fill Olivia in then. She escaped unharmed, except for her ego and psyche, and tells her detective she loves her before bidding her a good night.
Lesson ten…..some things are better left unsaid, for what one doesn't know, can not harm them…..
Before going to bed, Alex opens a notepad and jots down all ten 'lessons' from the day. They were going to be her new daily affirmations and figures they will make for a fine progress report for Olivia to give to Liz on Sunday. Not bad for day two….Alex says to herself…"I think I'm actually learning something here……"
Alex puts her ear buds of her ipod in place, and closes her eyes to the soft and comforting voice of Ingrid Michaelson…..Tomorrow is a new day….I love you Liv….
"If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.
Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.
If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.
Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.
I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.
Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am."
TBC……
